New Start, Old Habits
by Nadey
Summary: AH/AU Bella and Edward meet at College, but Bella is keeping a secret from him already. Will Edward work out her secret before she does something stupid? Does Bella even want him to work it out? * Lemons *
1. Chapter 1

BPOV

"_Don't do it…" I said as I scrambled on the floor gathering up all of my books which were now scattered in various places around the corridor, "Please don't do it!" I didn't dare look up at him as I stuffed my books minus one back into my bag._

"_What is it Swan? Would it be embarrassing for you?" I fleetingly glanced up at him to see him open up my notepad. And then he did it. He bared my soul to the entire school who seemed to have gathered around us both._

"'_April Thirteenth: I thought I saw him look at me differently today, like sometimes he did actually realise what he was doing to me. It was only for a second and then the look went, but that one second gave me hope. Edward Cullen might not be as bad as he seems…' Shall I carry on Swan?" He sneered at me as I held onto the wall to support my attempts to get off the ground I had remained on since gathering my books. I felt tears well up in my eyes, stinging, threatening to release themselves at any second._

"_Please…Edward" was all I could manage to stammer, I looked him in the eye as he knelt down on the floor next to me. My breath was heavy and ragged as he leaned into my ear to whisper._

"_Aaw Swan. I'm not bad" he said smiling menacingly and then leaning in even further, making me flinch in response, "I'm your worst nightmare" And with that he snapped the notepad shut in front of my face and walked away with it in his hand, waving it around like some kind of prize for all of his friends to see. _

_I sat with my head in my hands for what seemed like an eternity until I heard a familiar voice shake me from my despair, "Miss Swan, get up off the floor and get to class, you're late", I looked up to see the principle standing over me. I stood up automatically, giving myself a head rush in the process and stumbling slightly backwards hitting my head on the wall I had been leaning against. "Have you been drinking Miss Swan?" she said with a stern look on her face._

"_Erm…head rush, just a head rush, I'm very sorry, I'll be getting to class now…sorry" And I turned quickly and rushed to class, tripping over my feet in my haste._

_I walked into my Literature class to see Edward and his friends, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie bent over the desk reading intently. They all looked up at my sudden entrance to the room with amusement in their eyes, Rosalie's glistening with tears of laughter, and when I looked a little closer I could see they were all leaning over the desk reading my notepad. My diary._

_I tried to act nonchalant as I walked past their desk, but I knew that my body had once again let me down and that I was currently blushing redder than a golden delicious apple. I sat down at my desk and prayed for the world to swallow me whole. He had never been nice to me. Tripping me up in the corridors, throwing food at me at lunch, hitting my food tray out of my hands, normal stuff, but this was too much to take._

_As I was immersed in my thoughts of how my life could get any worse than this moment, fate surprised me yet again. Well it would have been surprising if it had ever served me well in the past. Mr Rowe finished reading an extract from our latest book, which happened to have a male lead._

"_So what does everyone think of the character of William? Anyone? How about you Edward? You seemed to be rather enjoying the extract today"_

_Edward turned slightly to look at me with a sneer before turning around with a crooked grin on his face._

"_Oh I was Mr Rowe. It is utterly enthralling!"_

"_Oh, well that's excellent Edward…So what did you think of William?"_

"_William? Oh well, let me see…" He opened my notebook as if it were his class notes and looked over them as if he were pondering over his shorthand. Then his head shot up, a finger marking where he wished to start his new assault on me. "William" he said with emphasis, "He seems to be hiding something. Something that he doesn't share with the world. He builds a wall around it with this bravado, but that is just to keep people out. If people knew the real him I think it would ruin him. I know I should hate him. But there's just something about him that I don't quite believe. I like him. I like Edward Cullen"_

"_Pardon me Edward?"_

"_Oh sorry Mr Rowe! Did I say Edward Cullen at the end of that? I meant to say William! Bella was kind enough to let me borrow her notes this morning so I could get a better insight into the character but I fear she may have lent me her diary by accident…Actually, that may be why it says 'Bella's Diary' on the front in big letters"_

_And with that the entire class turned to look at me and laughed, not just a small giggle but a full on attack of hysteria, led by Edward and his friends, Jasper high fiving him like some kind of hero. I looked down at the desk and then the bell rang. I flung myself out of my seat and out of the door while the class continued to laugh. I ran to my beaten up Chevy, stumbling on my way, but he was quicker. He was stood by the driver's door by the time I got there, arms folded across his chest and my diary open, pages down on the bonnet of my truck. _

"_Swan, this is great reading, you've got a nice little imagination in there" He said, smiling and gesturing towards my head. I nodded weakly, not looking him in the eye to witness the evil that lurked beneath his cool demeanour._

"_There is one more thing I enjoyed reading though Swan" He said loud enough for those standing around in the lot turned to look at us. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were standing next to Edward's Volvo, looking like they were waiting for some kind of showdown._

_He took my chin in his hand and pulled my face up gently to look at him, my eyes still focussed anywhere else rather than his eyes, I was currently reading a poster that was stuck to a lamp post, that was advertising a new restaurant, with an awful pun. _

"_Look at me Swan, this is serious" Just out of instinct I looked up into his eyes, what a mistake, I was locked there now, unable to move even if I wanted to. His eyes seemed to have some kind of holding power that had me mesmerised. "You seem to have mentioned me quite a lot in this little book of yours…" He smiled looking away from my eyes for a split second to glance at the diary and back to me. I stayed absolutely still, not daring to move, or even breathe with Edward Cullen in such close proximity. _

"_Now my favourite part…My absolute favourite part, is where you talk about your dreams" Oh god. Oh god. Oh GOD! This could not be happening; I'm never writing a diary again in my life, it's just not worth all of this hassle._

" '_Edward and I were standing in the lot. And the entire school was gathered around to see what was happening, he held my chin in his hand, making me look up at him.' Am I getting it right so far sweetheart?" He whispered the last part in my ear. I stayed absolutely silent, hearing the odd murmur from the nearby audience that had built up._

"'_And then out of nowhere he leaned in'" And he did, "'and kissed me, declaring me as his in front of the entire school, and then he whispered 'I love you Bella Swan' in my ear'" With that, he pulled away from me completely. He looked around at the audience in the lot as if he were running for president, "And that is the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen" He said with a hard laugh, hardly even able to finish his sentence through the joy my words brought him. The entire parking lot looked at me and laughed, almost as hard as Edward, but nobody could match him. He was bent double, his eyes locked on mine, shaking with laughter. _

_He stood up straight and composed himself as I tried to scramble past him to get into my truck. "Hey hey hey, Swan! Where you off to?" He said as his arm swooped around my front to restrain me._

"_Get off me Edward" I said with all the anger I could manage, the stinging of tears in my eyes once again, limiting the amount of anger I could muster._

_He raised both hands in an 'I surrender' gesture. Then he leaned in close to me again, whispering. "I think I'll be keeping this, the best read I've had in ages." And he stood up straight again, he turned to walk away. I stood motionless, unable to move through my anger and desperation to die at that moment. Halfway to his car, he turned to look at me again. "Swan?" I looked up at him, and he pointed to himself. "Worst nightmare remember? Not a fantasy" he half ran to his car, only to be met by Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie who all cheered as he returned with my diary held high in the air like a trophy. I got in the truck and drove home to Charlie._

And that was my last day at Forks High. Ever.

That night I went home to Charlie and packed my bags to leave. I could see how much I was hurting him when I told him I was moving back to Phoenix to live with Renee again. But I couldn't stay in Forks any longer, I had years left at Forks High, and that meant years left of Edward Cullen. Not something that I could even fathom with him now keeping hold of my diary to torture me with.

But now. Now I'm over that. I transformed into a different person once I was back in Phoenix, I moved out of my awkward teenage phase and I was now getting noticed for the right reasons. My long dark hair accentuated my large brown eyes, and my small frame was now toned, rather than the lanky muscle that I had at High School. My confidence had grown so much that I had managed to completely forget about Edward Cullen. Guys were interested in me, and I dated a few of them. I had been taken in by the popular group and made some great friends. People looked up to me at school, girls wanted to be me, and guys wanted to be with me, and I relished every second of it, never looking back to my days at Forks.

Currently I was moving my stuff into my dorms at College. I was starting here with the most confidence I had ever had in my life, and I was looking forward to grown up life away from Renee who had recently become worried about dating habits. Nagging me about being not promiscuous and making sure I was respecting myself.

I walked into my room, my arms laden with suitcases and books. I was greeted by two girls who were busy putting posters up on the walls.

"Oh hi, you must be Isabella!" The short one said brightly. She had a pixie like look about her. She was petite and had short dark hair that was styled to perfection, sticking in a variety of directions.

"Erm, just Bella actually, but yeah. Hi" I said with an awkward grin.

"I'm Alice" She said and skipped towards me with finesse, "And this is my best friend Rosalie", she said as she gestured towards the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

"Hi Bella" she said warmly, looking over me with approval.

"Rosalie? Erm... What a lovely name!" I said, looking a little harder at her, I was sure that it was... "Nice to meet you both"

After unpacking, we all started talking and it turned out that my suspicions about Rosalie were correct. Alice had a boyfriend called Jasper, and Rosalie was here with her boyfriend Emmett. They had all come to the same college to stay together. They also had another best friend in their little group who they didn't name, but I had my suspicions. They asked me about myself and I said I lived in Phoenix with my mother, and I told them about my friends from Phoenix and how I was hoping that they would come to visit me soon. I decided to leave out my life in Forks, I would decide if that was important later.

After getting to know each other a bit, Rosalie's phone rang quietly in her jeans pocket. She pulled it out and smiled at the display. She flipped it open and held it up to her ear.

"Hi Em, how're you? ...Yeah I'm good thank you, we've settled in nicely! ... Well yeah that sounds great, of course I want to see you! ... Well would it be alright if we bought our roommate? We'd finally have an even number then! ... Excellent, well I'll see you an hour then yeah? Love you Em!" and with that she shut her phone and smiled at Alice.

"The guys want to go out! Bella you're coming with us yeah?"

"Erm, yeah, if you want me to" I replied, suddenly apprehensive about this reunion. Rosalie seemed to be a completely different person. But she obviously had no idea who I was, I wasn't going to remind her, I was going to get her remember.

"Of course we want you to!" Alice said, bouncing up and down on her bed in anticipation, "This is going to be soooo good! He's going to love you!"

"I know right?!" Rosalie said nodding enthusiastically, with a hint of a giggle in her voice.

With Alice and Rosalie's help I got changed into an, even if I do say so myself, amazing outfit. I was wearing a dark wash denim mini, with a fitted band tank, and worn black biker boots. Sexy, but not too girly and Barbie like either. Pink was definitely not my colour!

"Totally his type!" Rosalie giggled as she poofed up my hair and Alice applied a small amount of eyeliner to my eyes and then smudged it outwards to make it look 'smoky'.

We left the dorms and walked to the other side of the campus where three guys were standing. I could a feel a knot forming in my stomach as we walked closer and the guys turned to face us at the sound of Alice's heels clicking on the ground.

"Rose!" One of the guys shouted and half ran towards her, embracing her when he reached her and kissing her lightly on the lips. That was Emmett. He hadn't changed too much. He was huge now though, he looked like a wrestler. If I was to walk into him it would leave me with a bruise.

Alice flitted towards a guy who was obviously Jasper and pecked him lightly on the cheek while he rested his hands on her hips. I looked at the other guy who was standing looking in the other direction of the PDA. He was devastatingly beautiful, his dishevelled bronze hair looking like he had just got out of bed, and even in the dark his green eyes seemed to shine under the lights from the sidewalk.

He looked at me and his eyes bugged. He took a step towards me, and instinctively I took a step back, thinking back to my time at Forks High. He hesitated and cocked his head to the side looking at me. "Hi there. I'm Edward" he said quietly, taking another cautious step towards me. This time I stayed still. I just stared at him; I couldn't seem to find my voice.

"Oh oh oh Edward!" Alice chirped pulling away from Jasper to stand next to me, holding onto my arm. "This...is Bella", she said it triumphantly, looking at him expectantly.

"We were just getting to that part actually Alice, but thank you", he said turning his head toward me again with a sly grin. "So, Bella... you're living with Alice and Rose?" I could only nod in response, all the confidence that I had gained since leaving Forks shattering like glass, "Good, I'll always know where to find you then", he smiled at me again, with a glint in his eye, he opened his mouth to speak again but was cut off by Emmett.

"Who's the newbie Rosie?" as he walked towards me, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"This is Bella, she lives with me and Alice" she said walking over to stand on my other side that Alice wasn't occupying.

"Hi, you must be Emmett" I said happily, I noticed Edward cock his head to the side looking at me, noticing how I could actually talk to Emmett.

"That's me! And this is Jasper, and that..." he said gesturing at Edward, "That is the one you should try and stay away from!"

"Emmett!" Edward exclaimed slapping Emmett on his huge arms.

"Hey guys, let's go yeah? Otherwise it'll be shut by the time we get there!" Jasper said, pulling Alice away from me. Alice and Jasper walked hand in hand in front, followed by Rosalie and Emmett in an equally intimate position. This left me, the mute and the most beautiful, dangerous creature to ever walk to earth, lagging behind.

***

EPOV

Aah College was going to be amazing. A new field to graze in if you get what I mean! I had enjoyed Forks High, and my position there...Or maybe it was the position I found myself in with the many beautiful girls who also attended there. I just don't get these girls. They all come along knowing what I was like, saying they would be the one to change me, only to be let down. How could you be let down when I never promised anything more than one night?

And that was why I had to leave Forks as soon as possible. I hadn't planned on going to college initially. My father wanted me to go, insisting I was wasting my life away, but I was adamant. But then Lauren happened. I always swore that I would never waste my erm... 'talent' on her. But then one night, we were at a party, and I was so ridiculously wasted. Alice and Jasper had left already, and Emmett and Rosalie were initiating some serious PDA in the corner. I saw Lauren saunter up to me, and it just happened. It was once, a quickie in the pool house in Jessica's yard, but since then she'd not let go of it. It was all getting too much. I'd managed to work my way through the halfway decent girls in my year and the year below without thinking twice about it. And now I had to get out. Fresh meat, as it were.

I didn't really care where I ended up going, so when I heard that the guys were all going to the same college, I instinctively followed suit. Making my father happy in the process. I moved in happily, with my best friends Jasper and Emmett, luckily the lady at room allocation had taken kindly to me and agreed that she would put us all together, so we moved in and got acquainted with the place. Then we decided to go out, so Em called Rosalie who had managed to get a room with Alice, and told them to meet us in an hour, and apparently they were bringing along their roommate. This could be my first college hook up. I was excited already.

When we got to our already agreed meeting place, Emmett and Jasper started joking around about our new college experience.

"So, Edward. College girls eh?" Emmett asked.

"Indeed. College girls" I said with a nod of my head, although looking at the ground.

"Rose and Alice are bringing their roommate apparently" Jasper mentioned. Like I would have forgotten that! It's not that it's been a long time, but...the anticipation for college had been literally killing me that past couple of months. I nodded again, shoving my hand into the pockets of my jeans.

"Edward's not likely to have forgotten that Jasper! He'll be getting some tonight, right Edward?!" Emmett almost shouted with glee.

"Well..." I said, looking up with a sly smile, "you know me Em, never say never eh?" and I laughed, followed by both Emmett and Jasper.

"Rose!" Emmett suddenly shouted and did a half run towards the three girls who were walking towards us and kissed her. Alice and Jasper followed suit. I choose to look away at moments like this. PDA is definitely not something for the 'single and loving it' crowd. But in my haste to look away I had completely forgotten to look at tonight's mission. I turned slowly, and there was a really hot girl. When I say hot, I mean really damn hot! She was amazing, she had long dark hair, and huge dark eyes that I can imagine would look amazing looking up from sucking my dick. She was totally what I would usually go for, sexy but not too girly. And she was wearing this fitting tank that showed me exactly what I would get tonight.

I stepped forward to introduce myself. And she stepped back. _She stepped back? _That never happens. Her eyes seemed to hold an emotion I couldn't quite make out in this lack of light. I took things a little slower, not wanting to scare the poor thing. It would have to be the less forward approach with this one obviously! But she didn't say _anything. _Nothing. Just stood there looking at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. Then Alice intervened, introducing the mystery silent girl to me. Her name was Bella; I think I knew a Bella once. Don't really have the best memory for faces but I'm sure it's not the same one.

Then I decided to test the waters a little early with a comment about always being able to find her. Hoping it wouldn't freak her out completely. But still nothing, she would nod, but as for her voice, I was beginning to think she might have been a mute, or maybe had an embarrassing stutter. I don't do charity work I'm afraid.

But then she turned and I finally heard her voice. She seemed to be more than happy speaking to Emmett. How odd. I cocked my head to the side and looked at her. Did she not like me? Already? That had to be a new record. Don't get me wrong; I'd had girls who didn't like me before, but normally after I've slept with them, not before. And I certainly hadn't slept with this girl, I would have remembered her. Definitely.

Jasper hurried us along to the bar we were headed to. He walked ahead with Alice, and Emmett and Rose walked behind them. Leaving me and mystery Bella walking behind them all.

"So, Bella. What are you studying?" How lame. I should have definitely started as I mean to go on. Was she even going to answer my question? She looked up at me, I wish I knew what she was thinking, this would be so much easier. No girl has ever made me this frustrated after just 5 minutes of meeting her.

"Erm, Public Relations", a minimal response, but hey, she'd spoken, I'm not going to complain too much. Hang on a second though. Public Relations? I was doing English Literature, and that meant we would be in the same department, we would have that departmental meeting together in the morning.

"Oh right, I'm doing English Literature. We have that meeting tomorrow" I said coolly.

"Hmm", she responded. Oh my God, I shouldn't have to work this hard for sex. It's just not right. But imagine that hair swaying around as she rides me... definitely worth it.

"Don't talk much do you?" I joked. I had to lighten the conversation. It wasn't going too well for me at the moment. But she just looked at me with wide eyes like she was scared.

"Erm, well... You seem to have an awful lot to say. Wouldn't want to interrupt" She muttered and looked at the ground. I followed her eyes to the ground but got distracted by her legs. She had long, lean, beautiful legs. I can imagine them wrapped around my waist as I took her up against the wall. Yes. That would be great. I have to keep going.

We walked in a comfortable silence for the next couple of minutes before we got to the bar. We walked in and took our seats at a booth in the corner. The others all went to get drinks, while me and Bella saved our booth. She was fidgeting, twisting strands of her hair in her fingers and looking anywhere other than at me. I decided to take direct action.

I scooted over towards her and took her hand from her hair, and with my other hand I cupped the bottom of her chin, tilting her head up to look at me.

"Bella..." She winced slightly, and had that look of fear in her eyes again, it was the weirdest thing. What did she think I was going to do? "Do you know, you really are beautiful?"

"Erm...thank you. Alice and Rose picked out my outfit" she said, biting her bottom lip. It wasn't just the outfit I was interested in. That would be on the floor soon enough, but it was an amazing outfit, why not compliment it?

"Oh did they? They definitely know what they're doing don't they?" I said with a sly smile and looked towards the girls who were standing at the bar turning to glance at us every few seconds with huge grins on their faces.

"Rose said..." She hesitated, looking down at the floor, "Rosalie said that I was your 'type'", fucking Rosalie. She always ruins my fun. This girl knew that I would be interested, that means I'm going to have to work even harder.

"She did, did she? Well, Rosalie should also be aware that I don't have a 'type', as long as they've got a pulse and look after themselves, that's all I need really!"I laughed as I tried to make that a joke, I hope it came across right; otherwise I look like a total jackass. But she giggled slightly, pulling her head away from my hold on her chin and taking her hand back when the others came back with our drinks.

"How you doing guys?" Emmett asked with a wink at me. I rolled my eyes at the 'oh so subtle' gesture.

"Getting along famously" I said with a smile in Bella's direction.

"You do realise you're like, Edwards fantasy fuck Bella?" Emmett said without even flinching. How could he say that to her? She's definitely not going to fuck me now!

"Oh really?" I heard her say, obviously interested at where the conversation had turned to. "A fantasy? I would describe myself better as his worst nightmare" She said those last two words with the most seductive tone I had ever heard. If I could have sex with a sound, that would definitely be the one.


	2. Chapter 2

BPOV

I can't believe I actually managed to say that. I managed to actually repeat what he had said to me on that last day at Forks High. I know he has absolutely no idea who I am. But I don't think that's what is going through his mind at this particular moment. He seems to have some kind of game plan for me. I should imagine he was a bit of a player when he got old enough to actually appreciate women as sex objects. Little did he know I knew how to play this game too. I whispered the words worst nightmare in the most seductive voice I could manage. And it seemed to have the desired effect. He looked at me with what I think were lust filled eyes. Excellent.

The walk to the bar had been a little weird. I still didn't think I would be able to say anything to him, so I just said the bare minimum, hoping he wouldn't notice. The entire time I was just thinking back to my days at Forks High. It scared me that he didn't know who I was, when he finally found out, and he will, everything comes out in the end. What was he going to say?

Then when we finally got into the club and he pulled my face up to his in the same way he had when we were in the lot, I could feel his sweet breath fanning my face, and his eyes burning holes into mine. I told him that Rosalie had told me that I was his type and he made an awful joke about anything with a pulse and a pretty face, or as he put it 'looked after themselves' was his type. That made me laugh, definitely a player, but he's not going to play me. I'll knock him out of the park.

We stayed in the bar for ages and I managed to consume more alcohol than I had anticipated. We were all pretty smashed to be honest. Edward had been staring at me the entire evening while I spoke to Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Alice, only adding in little comments every now and again when the conversation would turn to him. It was like he was trying to learn as much as he could about me to use in his game. When we decided to go Edward held out his hand to help me out of the booth, and I took it with a friendly smile. I was still as clumsy as ever, and this mixed with a ridiculous amount of alcohol was definitely not making things any better. When we got outside the bar, Alice and Rosalie wanted to go dancing, but I just knew that was not a good idea. Not for me anyway. So I made my excuses and turned to head home.

"Bella, wait!" I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around to see Edward, shivering with the cold. "I'll walk you back"

"No Edward, I'll be fine, thanks though" I said and turned again, only to have my wrist grabbed and my entire body spun round to face him.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I let a poor defenceless girl walk home alone?" He grinned at me expectantly.

"Fine Edward, you can walk me back" I said and turned again. He grabbed my hand tightly as we were walking. It was a weird experience holding hands with Edward Cullen. Like my dreams that were all in that diary, but better, because I knew I was a better person to deal with him this time.

"And, like I said, I need to know where you are so I can come and find you"

"Why would you need to come and find me Edward?"

"Well, you know. I'll scratch your back you scratch mi-"

"I'm not scratching your anything Cullen!" I said my eyebrows raised and a sly grin on my face.

"Cullen?" He snapped his head to look at me properly. "You know my surname?"

Oh shit. This isn't going to work if I can't even make it through the first evening without making a mistake. "Yup, Rose and Alice must've said it. I'm not a mind reader you know!"

"Oh yeah I guess" he said with a shrug but still looking at me with those piercing green eyes. "Anyway, back to scratching..." He smiled and I laughed at his expression, which was a mixture of sexy and a boyish grin.

We got back to the door of my room, and I raked around in my purse for my key. "I know it's in here. I _will_ find it!"

"Say if I were to find it...would you invite me in?" Edward asked suggestively as he leaned against the wall next to the door.

"I may let you cross the threshold yes!" I laughed and he pulled my keys from behind his back. "Well that's just cheating isn't it?" I rolled my eyes at him as he put the key in the door and opened it.

He leaned into my ear as I walked past him and into my room, whispering "Anything to get across that threshold sweetheart". I winced slightly as he called me sweetheart, not something I could get used to just yet.

He threw my keys on the side and walked around the room looking at the posters that Alice and Rosalie had put up. "They've decorated for you already then?" He said laughing at one of the numerous boy band posters that emblazoned our walls.

"Yup, all up before I got here unfortunately!"

"You could take them down?"

"Oh I couldn't do that to them. I don't mind too much anyway!" I said and turned to look at my laptop that was open on the desk, I checked my emails. One from Renee already, urgh, I'll have to read that later. I turned back around to find Edward right in front of me, his hands finding their way to my waist.

"Which one's your bed love?" he whispered, his lips ghosting my ear as said it.

"I don't think that's any of you business now Edward do you?" I whispered back.

"Well if you had another idea for it th-"

"Idea for what?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow in response.

"Don't pretend you don't know sweetheart" He said leaning in to kiss me, but I pulled back, my hands finding themselves on his shoulders, holding him away from me.

"I think you may have got the wrong idea here, _sweetheart_." I said slightly mockingly, with a small smile playing on my lips. "From what I remember, you insisted on walking me home, and then cheated your way into me letting you in"

"Bella I thought that y-"

"Oh I can see that you thinking may become a small problem Edward" I said with a small giggle. He looked at me with a look of desperation. "I think you better go, don't you?" I said as I lead him to the door. He stepped out of the room and looked at me, I leaned towards him and whispered in his ear, "Down boy" and shut the door behind me as I turned away from him. From my side of the door I heard a muffled "Shit" from the other side, as he turned and walked away, I giggled slightly to myself as I turned to get ready for bed.

***

EPOV

Hard to get?! No way was she playing hard to get with me! I don't need to be doing this; I could just go back to that bar and find another girl. But I really want to break this one. I need to finish what I've started. I've never had to give up on a girl before, but none had ever been this difficult to read before, I can never tell what she's thinking, and it's holding my interest. For now at least.

What was that "Down boy" anyway? If anything it had the opposite affect! She knew what she was doing, and it was going to be the death of me. This is going to take my best work, and I was definitely up to the challenge. Who knew that college would be so interesting!

I hit the alarm clock the next morning. I turned over and saw Rosalie sleeping in Emmett's bed. But no Emmett. Weird. Then the door opened and in he walked in just a towel. "Em, please tell me you didn't do it right next to me last night", I groaned, throwing my arm over my eyes. I looked up for just a second to see him looking sheepish and so I rolled over, groaning again.

"You were asleep dude, you didn't even notice"

"Man, that's just disgusting!"

I got up to go to the bathroom and get ready for the day. I put on my dark wash jeans and a plain black t-shirt, no point in doing my hair; I went back into my room to see Emmett and Rosalie making out.

"No way guys, just stop it, jeez! Jazz, tell them to stop!" Jasper, who was still asleep turned over, noticed Emmett and Rosalie and turned over again.

"Fucking hell Emmett, communal space and all that?"

"Oh get lost, Edward's just jealous coz he didn't get anywhere with Bella last night". Bella. In my disgust at Emmett and Rosalie I had almost forgotten the beauty that was living just a few minutes away. I had to rethink my strategy, but first, to find my department get together.

It took me forever to find the right building. I walked around the campus 3 times before finally caving in and asking somebody, but finally I made it there just 10 minutes late. I opened the door to the room and poked my head around the door, "Hello, my name is Edward Cullen, I'm so sorry I'm late, I got lost!" I opened the door properly and walked into the room.

"No problem Edward, just find a seat" the teacher said, so I walked straight to the back and took one of the empty seats. The room was packed. And definitely full of some of America's finest women! I tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying but it was so difficult when I was so easily distracted. I would find out my timetable when I got it right? As I was scanning the room for conquest number 2, number 1 was still in progress, I saw her. She was sitting there next to this guy, smiling, laughing, and joking like they had some kind of connection. Damn him! I didn't know who he was but I already knew I didn't like him. I was paying so much attention to them both. Literally staring at them for the rest of the session, and then we were all dismissed and I stood up and walked straight over to her. What was I doing? I don't chase girls, they chase me! This was completely wrong, but I couldn't seem to stop myself as I was walking to her.

As I got closer I saw her pull out her mobile and type something into it, and at the same time the guy she had been talking to did the same. They were swapping numbers! She hadn't asked for mine last night. I was feeling a new emotion I'd only ever felt once before, and that was when Jasper asked out Alice before I could get to her. I was jealous.

"Bella!" I caught her wrist gently as she turned to walk out of the door with the guy she'd just swapped numbers with.

"Oh! Edward, hey", she looked startled, but I couldn't blame her, I did come up on her from behind.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you!"

"No worries. You ok? You look...Well actually I don't know how you look! Is everything ok?"

"Erm, yeah everything's fine thank you. Who was that guy?"

"Guy? Oh, you mean James? Yeah he's so nice, he just came up and sat with me" She smiled a smile that I never saw her smile last night while she was with me. Like she was just pretending last night or something.

"Oh, good for James" I mumbled to myself, before looking up at her with what I call my dazzling smile, it seemed to work, she stared at me for a second before looking away again. "What are you doing now? Going anywhere?"

"I er... I was going to go and grab some coffee actually; I'm free for the rest of the day." She didn't invite me to join her. I'm going to have to invite myself.

"Well, would you like some company? I seem to have found myself at a loose end!" She looked at me warily for a few seconds, not speaking.

"Yeah sure. If I said no I'm sure you would insist anyway!" She giggled slightly at the end of her sentence, it was kind of endearing. I had to stop thinking that way; this was a conquest not a relationship! I've never been in a relationship; I've never seen the point. Why tie yourself down to one girl when there was an entire country, an entire world to choose from?

"Well, like I said last night, anything to get across the threshold" I smiled again and we left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

BPOV

I woke up in the morning with a smile on my face. That's strange. But, I had wound Edward up a bit and that made me feel good about myself. I had rejected him and maybe that made my past just a little bit more bearable. But the only thing is, there was a part of me that didn't want to push him away last night, part of me wanted to rip his shirt off and to let him take me however he wanted me. But I knew that if I did that he'd be getting exactly what he wanted, like he did in the past. I wondered if he even remembered what he had done to me when we were younger, whether he felt any remorse at all. Part of me wanted to believe that he did, and that he was a different person. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper all seemed to be a lot different, but Emmett had warned me off Edward as soon as he met me. It made me think that he had maybe just turned into a different kind of jerk.

I had to get up and go to this department meeting thing that college had organised. The more I thought about it, the more I thought Edward might be there. He was doing English Literature, not too distant from Public Relations, so they would more than likely be in the same department. Maybe he said something about it last night? I was too nervous to listen too closely!

Rosalie wasn't in her bed so I guessed she was with Emmett, but Alice was up and flitting around the room.

"Morning Alice" I groaned slightly as I swung my legs off the bed sitting up.

"Bella, you're awake! I've picked out your clothes for the day, they're on this chair here", she smiled as if this were the type of thing that happened every day. Maybe it was for her, I don't know!

"Thanks, you didn't have to"

"I know. It's just what I do, you'll get used to it. Just wait till I get you shopping!"

Oh great. I was never one for shopping, I mean, I would go. But just to get it over and done with. I knew what I liked wearing so I would just go and get similar things each time. I should imagine shopping with Alice would be a completely different story!

I found my way to the Media building easily and got myself a seat near the middle of the room, I was about to get out my phone to text Charlie to let him know I was alright after my first night at college when I felt someone slump on the chair next to me.

"Hello beautiful, I'm James", I looked up and saw the most piercing blue eyes I'd even seen in my life, a smile played on his lips and I smiled in return.

"Hi James, I'm Bella" I cocked my head to the side looking up at him through my eyelashes. I couldn't, no; I wouldn't give in to Edward, as much as body wanted to. But James, I could definitely give in to, if the opportunity arose, so to speak!

"Well Bella, don't you have the most beautiful eyes?" He said it with a cheesy grin; I could tell he wasn't taking himself seriously.

"I was about to say the same thing to you actually, but you got in first!" I smiled, what I hoped was seductively at him, I think it worked. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and smiled at me as the teacher walked in and began talking. I wasn't really listening, I was stealing glances at James every couple of seconds, and I got the feeling he was doing the same. Then the door of the classroom opened, and Edward popped his head round. It was suddenly like no one else in the world existed, he was just so beautiful, and last night, he just seemed so genuine with me. I had to remember who he really was though, I couldn't forget that. He skulked to the back of classroom, I don't think he had noticed me yet, I wish he would. James was still looking at me, but he had noticed my sudden interest in the latecomer and turned to look at him.

"Who's that guy?" He whispered in my ear.

"What?" I asked startled he had actually mentioned it.

"That guy that just walked in, who is he?" he whispered again.

"Erm, no one really. I met him last night that's all"

"Aah, first college hook up yeah?" He asked with a glint in his eye, obviously thinking I was easy all of a sudden.

"No!" I whispered harshly, "I just had a few drinks with him and then he walked me home"

"Oh good, so you're still on the market then?" he asked with a cheeky grin.

"Well, hopefully there will be no bartering but yes, I suppose that metaphor works nicely"

"Would you be interested in maybe coming out for a drink with me?"

The bell suddenly went and we were all dismissed from class. I stood up and James stood a little closer to me. "One drink, that's all?" he whispered in a low tone, right in my ear.

"One drink" I replied and nodded, smiling at him.

"Get your phone out, I'll give you my number", I grabbed my phone from my pocket and typed it in as he recited it for me, he then got his phone out and I did the same for him.

"I'll probably give you a ring later. Catch you then beautiful!" he smiled at me and half ran out of the class.

As I turned around, my mind completely elsewhere, I felt my wrist being grabbed slightly; I turned around a little shocked to find Edward staring at me intently. His eyes held some kind of emotion that I hadn't seen in him, ever. It worried me that he was upset about something, I know I shouldn't have been worried about him, but there had always been something about him which made it impossible for me to hate him. I asked him if he was ok, and he said everything was fine. But I knew it wasn't, I let it drop in fear of making things worse. Then he suddenly mentioned James. He had obviously been watching me; I didn't know what to say, my body definitely wanted to give everything to Edward. To forget James and be with Edward, even for just one night. But my head was telling me that was stupid, to remember what he was like, and what he had done. This could all just be another game to him. Me, just another notch on his bedpost. I told him the truth about James, after all, I had no plans to sleep with Edward, but James actually seemed like a possibility at the moment.

He didn't look happy when I said that James was nice. He looked like he was ready for a fight. But then, instead, his frown turned into a smile as he asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day. I didn't actually have any plans, but for some reason, I really wanted to spend time with him. This was definitely not the way it was supposed to happen. I told him I was going for coffee and he invited himself along, I took him up on his offer to join me, and he mentioned his comment last night about getting over the threshold, I smiled as I remembered him saying it the night before.

We left the room to go for some coffee on the other side of campus, and I was beginning to actually enjoy talking to him. When I was with him I seemed to completely forget everything that happened in the past. It was when I was away from him when I remembered it all.

"Are you going to go out with James then?" He seemed kind of sheepish as he asked, sort of like he was afraid of the answer.

"Well, I agreed to go out for one drink with him"

"Oh. Well... I hope you both have fun" He look from me to his feet, he looked angry; his brow furrowed, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Edward..." I started; I didn't know what I wanted to say to him. He couldn't have been jealous already; according to him I only met him last night. Unless...Unless maybe he did remember me and was trying to make it up to me in his own little way. Actually, I'm being stupid, he wouldn't be trying to make it up to me otherwise he would have said something. But maybe he does remember something. He looked up at me, hands still deep in his pockets, hope in his eyes.

"You're not...You're not jealous are you, Edward?

"What? No, of course not" He guffawed, a little too enthusiastically, making me believe he didn't really mean it. That or he was more trying to convince himself than me. "How could I be jealous of some guy I've never even met?" he mumbled as he looked to the ground again. I reached out and pulled slightly on his arm. He stopped and turned to face me.

"Edward this is ridiculous, what's the matter?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. You're fine. James is fine. Everyone is doing just fine!" He waved his arms around a bit, obviously frustrated.

"Edward!"

"Look Bella let's just go and get some coffee, I'll be fine in a minute." And so that's what we did, we walked in relative silence the rest of the way, only talking occasionally about nothing in particular. We got to the coffee shop, grabbed a drink and Edward found a table in the back corner, I went over to join him.

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what's the matter with me. I shouldn't have snapped", he said while fiddling with the lid on his coffee.

"What's wrong Edward? Is it because of last night?"

"No of course not. I don't care that you didn't want to...well whatever. No it's not because of last night" He looked up at me and he seemed pretty genuine. "It's just...well...would you go out for a drink with me if I asked you?"

"Well that's what we're doing now isn't it?" I smiled and he seemed to lighten up a bit.

"Not exactly sweetheart, I invited myself!" He laughed at our predicament, and I giggled in return.

"Very true! I'm not complaining though!"

"You're not?" I shook my head, "It's just, I was watching you with James in the class room today, and you just seemed... I don't know. More... enthusiastic I suppose than you were with me at any point last night".

"Really? I hadn't noticed" I lied.

"What was he saying to you?"

"Erm... he was asking me about you actually, he was... jealous" I smiled and cocked an eyebrow, he laughed a little.

"Go out with me." He suddenly said. He didn't ask, he just stated it with confidence that I would say yes. I must have been coming across to easy; I didn't want it to happen this way.

"Edward, it's not that I don-"

"Bella." He put his finger over my mouth to shush me; I could so easily have taken his finger in my mouth and show him what he was missing. "Go out with me, tonight. No Alice, no Rosalie, certainly no Emmett or Jasper. Just you, me and... I don't know... Italian?"

"Oh so it's dinner with you is it? Trying to beat James' one drink?"

"Whatever it takes to g-"

"Get over the threshold" I finished for him and he laughed at the realisation of a new catchphrase for him.

"Is that a yes then?" He asked with a cheeky grin. He was just too good at this game, I seemed unable to resist, however much I wanted to.

"Yes Edward, I guess it is!" I laughed.

"Oh and just so you know, I will be walking you home tonight aswell. I am a gentleman after all!" I nodded and he grinned at me, seemingly pleased with himself.

Just then my phone rang, I looked at the display and James' name appeared on the screen, Edward looked at it, as it was laid on the table vibrating, he rolled his eyes and pushed it towards me.

"Are you going to answer it?"

"Yes" I said curtly and pressed the answer button, I looked at Edward as I said "Hi" and a look of annoyance passed his eyes.

_Hello beautiful Bella. Have you missed me?_

"Hello James, it's only been an hour and a half..."

_More than enough time to miss someone don't you think?_

"I guess so" I laughed quietly

_What are you doing tonight? Are you busy?_

"Tonight?" I looked at Edward who was staring at the table angrily hitting a spoon against the side, he looked up expectantly, "I can't tonight, I'm going out"

_Not with that guy from class?_

"Well..."

_Oh Bella, you're going to turn me down for him?_

"I've made plans James. I don't cancel plans", Edward stopped hitting the table with the spoon, and smiled at me.

_Well can I book you for tomorrow night instead then?_

"I can definitely pencil you in!" I laughed and the spoon hitting started again. I wasn't going to look at him this time.

_Put in pen love. I don't cancel either. I'll ring you tomorrow to tell you where to meet me. Missing you already beautiful!_

"Goodbye James" I said and hung up. I looked up at Edward.

"You're still going to go out with him?" He definitely wasn't happy.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're going to go out with me!" He made it sound like his actions should be completely obvious to me, like I was missing something vital.

"I'm going out with you tonight Edward, I'm going out with James tomorrow"

"But what if I wanted to see you tomorrow night as well"

"Well you won't be able to. You never struck me as a two date kind of person anyway"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know..."

"No I don't know, enlighten me" He put his hands on the table and stared at me with his beautiful green eyes.

"I don't know, you just don't seem like a relationship kind of guy. I should imagine you came to college just because you'd worked your way through half the female population of Forks!" Oh my god, I can't believe I just said that, I should just stop talking, it would be better for my mental health!

"Wait... How do you know I'm from Forks?" His eyes widened as he asked me.

"Erm, Alice must've told me, or Rosalie. You're all from there right?"

"Yeah I guess so. And by the way... you're evaluation of me...pretty much got it!" He laughed slightly; I'm not sure whether it was out of pride or embarrassment at my realisation of him.

We got another coffee and sat chatting for a bit longer, just getting to know each other a bit more. I was going to have to write all of these lies down so I didn't make any more slip ups. I was an awful liar at the best of times, I needed to be an Oscar nominated actress to pull this one off.

"Right, well, if we're going out for dinner I'm going to have to tell Alice so she can get something for me to wear!" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh she's not got you already has she?"

"Oh this is a common thing is it?" I laughed

"It's some kind of obsession. Just don't let her take you shopping! Total nightmare!"

"She's already got me there as well actually. This weekend" He laughed and muttered 'good luck' under his voice.

I got my phone out and started typing.

_Alice, gonna need an outfit for 2nite, dinner date. Any ideas? Bx_

Almost instantaneously I got a text back; this girl was quick when it came to fashion.

_Done. You have some great clothes Bella, I've been admiring them all day! Who you going out with? Ax_

I'm not going to text back to that, she could find out when everyone else did. I laughed and stood up, pulling my bag up from the floor, my books spilling out in the process.

"Shit" I groaned, as I got down on my hands and knees to pick them all up and stuff them back into my bag. As Edward knelt down beside me I got a flashback of when he stole my diary, I flinched away from him as his hand ghosted mine as we reached for the same book.

"Sorry", he said and pulled his hand back. "Are you ok Bella?" he asked as he handed me a notepad which had Bella's diary written on the front. I always said I would never write a diary again, but with everything that was going on when I left Forks, I didn't want to talk about it. I would rather just write everything down, so I kept up the diary writing. He looked down at the book he was holding and realisation shot across his eyes, his head snapped up to meet mine as I snatched the book away from him, giggling nervously.

"I'll take that, thank you"

"Bella are you o-"

"I'm fine Edward, thank you. I'll see you later on ok?" He nodded, still kneeling on the floor as I stood up, and I rushed out of the coffee shop. Shit.

***

EPOV

'Bella's Diary', it said in big letters on the front, almost the same as that time in High School when... No way, I shook the thought away and went to get ready for our date tonight.

I'd never been on a proper date really. I mean, I'd taken a girl out for a drink before, but dinner was completely new territory for me. I wasn't really sure how people did it. Was I supposed to pay or would she not like that? Argh, why was I so nervous about this?!

When she agreed to go with me it was great, I suddenly felt my heartbeat speed up, which only usually happened just before I was about to have sex. It was weird for it to be happening with just her agreeing to have dinner with me. But when James rang, and she answered my heart just sank. I didn't want that idiot anywhere near _my _Bella. No way, I'm not claiming her. That's stupid; I just didn't like the look of him.

I thought she was answering to tell him she had changed her mind. That she was going out with me and never wanted to see him again, but no, she just planned to see him tomorrow instead. I was infuriated and I let that show when she got off the phone.

I mean, why wouldn't I want to see her the night after our date? It had never happened before with me and a girl, but it could definitely happen...maybe.

And then she told me exactly who she thought I was, she seemed to see behind my facade I was putting up for her. It was like she knew me, but she can't have because we only met last night, maybe she's just very perceptive. A good judge of character, in which case, I should probably stay away from her. But I can't, and I won't.

When she mentioned Forks I don't know why I got so paranoid, of course Alice and Rosalie would have mentioned that. And then the thing with the diary, she got all flustered and couldn't seem to get out fast enough. It was weird.

I got back to my room, Emmett and Jasper were playing on the PS3.

"Dude where have you been?"

"Yeah Edward! Emmett's so shit at this, I'm whooping his ass, I need to play against someone good!" Jasper teased and was interrupted by Emmett slapping across the back of the head.

"Sorry guy's just been out to get some coffee, I need to get ready now though, I'm off out for dinner" I said walking across the room, pulling off my t-shirt in the process.

"Ooh where are we going? We'll call Alice and Rose" Emmett asked picking up his phone.

"No Emmett. _I _am going out for dinner."

"Oh my God." Jasper's jaw hung open. "Edward's got a date!"

Emmett's smile was slow building, slowly creeping up his face. It made me smile, I turned away looking through my closet to find something to wear.

"College girls expect that little bit extra huh Edward?" Emmett mocked.

"Apparently so..." I replied trying to concentrate on my clothes, nothing was shouting out at me.

"Who is it?" Jasper asked, genuinely interested. I heard Emmett mutter 'fast worker' to himself; although I'm sure I wasn't supposed to hear it.

"Oh er, nobody you know" I lied as I pulled a grey shirt from the closet; I grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom. I had a shower and got dressed. I checked my phone to see the time, and to be honest, just to check she hadn't got my number from Alice and cancelled.

Emmett and Jasper were joking amongst themselves, so I grabbed my keys and my wallet and headed out the door. "We won't wait up!" Emmett joked as I shut the door.

I walked at a fast pace across to Bella's building and skipped the steps two at a time. I arrived at her doorstep 2 minutes early. That's not too desperate looking is it? I knocked on the door, and Alice answered, looking confused.

"Edward? Why are you here?"

"Hello to you too Alice" I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck nervously, she obviously hadn't told anyone either. I opened my mouth to tell her why I was there when Alice was shoved out of the way.

"See you later Alice, thanks again!" She slammed the door behind her. She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a long black jersey wife beater as a dress and the same black biker boots as last night, a black leather jacket over the top to keep her warm. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

"Hi Edward" She smiled brightly as I took her in.

"Alice worked hard!" she laughed as we walked down the stairs. Her phone suddenly went in her pocket; she pulled it out to read a text.

I glanced over her shoulder but I couldn't quite read it, I knew it would be from Alice though.

"She tried to get me to wear heels. It would be dinner in the hospital canteen if that happened!" I laughed as she made fun of herself, still amazed at how beautiful she looked. She had curled the ends of her hair slightly, and put on some dark eye makeup, she looked like some kind of punk Barbie, and I loved it.

"I think you look beautiful" I said truthfully as I swooped to grab her hand in mine as we were walking, she didn't flinch or pull away so I guessed this was ok.

"Edward, I'm sorry about earlier. I just, I don't really know..." She looked nervous, so I let it drop.

"Don't worry about it love. Let's just get some dinner!" She smiled at me and I squeezed her hand a little.

Dinner went amazingly. I made jokes that she seemed to find funny, I used some of my usual flirting techniques, some of which went down great, but others she could tell were my 'act', so she would just laugh, and that made me laugh in return. She seemed a lot more relaxed tonight than she was last night. But maybe that was just nerves at first meeting someone. I don't know. I hope that was the case. I decided I would pay the bill. Using my newly discovered catchphrase as my excuse.

"This threshold you seem so keen to cross..." she mused, smiling at me over the rim of her wine glass, "metaphorical...yes?"

"Oh yes of course" I laughed with a cheeky grin, "I'm a gentleman remember!"

"Oh well, as long as we're both understanding each other", she smiled. Oh my god, this girl was so hot. Hopefully tonight would lead to something...

We walked out of the restaurant hand in hand again. Every now and again I would swing our arms playfully if I was enthusiastic about our conversation. I seemed to be hanging on her every word; I loved the control she seemed to have over me. It was enthralling.

Half way back to her building I pulled us over to sit on a bench, she sat forward rubbing her hands together to generate some warmth; I took this opportunity to wrap my arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer against me. She leaned into my chest and sighed deeply. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I rested my chin on the top of her head. I had never just sat like this with a girl before. I was never one for any kind of intimacy. After sex I would just leave. Girls weren't allowed back to mine. I never wanted them to be able to come and find me, so I would leave as soon as I could usually. This was perhaps the most intimate I had ever been with a girl apart from actually having sex, but even that wasn't usually intimate, it was just sex.

"Bella..?" I didn't know what I wanted to say, I just wanted to hear her voice.

"Mmm" She responded. It wasn't enough.

"Was tonight alright? I mean, did you have fun?" Why was I so insecure with her?

She pulled away from me, I suddenly felt cold from the lack of contact and shivered slightly.

"I had a great time Edward. Why? Didn't you?" She looked as insecure as I felt in that moment.

"Are you joking? I had the best time!"

"Good!" She smiled brightly and leaned back into my chest, but as soon as she got there I pulled back slightly, my hand finding its way under her chin and pulling her face up to mine. My eyes flitted from her eyes to her lips over and over again. I needed to know she wanted it this time, I didn't want her to reject me again like last night, but she was just staring at me.

"Bella?" I whispered, hardly able to even hear myself. She looked at me intently, so I carried on, "I'm going to kiss you now, and I need to know it's ok that I do, ok?" I whispered again, but this time she did respond, she nodded, only slightly, but it was a definite nod.

I leaned down a little further and let my lips ghost hers, wanting her to want it as much as I did, I ghosted all around her mouth, and finally when I couldn't take it anymore I very lightly brought my lips down on hers, at first she didn't respond, and I was worried she was going to pull away but then I felt her lips move under mine, and soon we were very lightly letting our lips play together, she pushed up into me, wanting to deepen the kiss, so I responded by wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into me. I let my tongue trace her top lip as I smiled into the kiss, loving this new feeling of intimacy I was getting from her, her mouth opened to allow me access and I slowly slipped my tongue into her mouth, and suddenly our kiss deepened even more, a fierceness taking over me as our tongues fought for dominance, mine winning as I strived to pull her closer to me. I pulled away as I felt her struggle for air slightly. Out of breath, I smiled at her, and rested my forehead on hers, she smiled as well, and I leant down to peck her lightly on the lips.

My arms still wrapped tightly around her, with her twisted slightly underneath my arms, almost lying on the bench, she attempted to sit up, breaking our embrace.

"Bella?" I asked, now wary that I might have ruined it.

"I think we better be heading back Edward, I'm sorry, it's just..." She looked slightly worried, like she was going to be scared of my reaction, and then just grinned at me, giggling, "I'm so fucking cold!"

I laughed at her attempt to scare me and stood up, pulling her up with me. We walked back to her building, chatting every now and again, but in a comfortable silence most of the time. We walked up the stairs of her building her slightly ahead of me, and as we walked down the corridor to her door, she spun around to face me, her hands resting on my chest.

"I had a great night Edward, thank you"

"It doesn't have to end here love..." I said suggestively. I knew she would turn me down, but for some reason I didn't mind. I wasn't going to go home disappointed tonight. I leaned in to kiss her, I put my arms around her waist, pulling her into me, her hands still on my chest pushed me away slightly, although she leaned in a little and gave me a lingering kiss that I wouldn't be forgetting for a while.

She pulled my arms from around her waist and stroked my cheek lightly, looking into my eyes. She was just leaning in to kiss me again when her door opened, and Alice and Rosalie poked their head round it.

"Bella!" Alice gasped, "We thought it was you out here!"

"Get in here now!" Rosalie demanded, and grinned. I rolled my eyes at Bella and kissed her on the cheek.

"That's my cue to leave I think!" I said and started to turn around

"Edward?" Bella called after me, I turned around again, "Can I call you tomorrow?"

"Course you can sweetheart, Alice will give you my number, I'm sure!" I laughed, and so did she, I waved slightly and nodded in Alice and Rosalie's direction and headed down the stairs. As I did I heard Alice's familiar excited squeal, and Rosalie saying "Tell us everything!"I shook my head and laughed, heading out of the building.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N – Ok guys, you're totally going to hate this chapter, and I didn't enjoy writing it, but just remember it all works out in the end! So I apologise in advance... let the hating begin!**

BPOV

I kissed Edward Cullen. _Edward Cullen?!? _ The only problem being, I wanted to do it again! I had such a great night with him, everything just seemed so natural, he even paid for dinner, I'm not sure if he'd ever taken a girl out for dinner before, he seemed to be more nervous than I was. The walk home was eventful; when he pulled us over to that bench I was glad, it was quite a long walk to be honest, I was grateful for the pit stop. But then he asked me if I had enjoyed myself. I wanted to say no, my head was shouting at me to say no to him, and to reveal exactly who I was, but looking into his eyes seemed to make me want to tell him exactly how I felt. He seemed so insecure tonight, it was cute, and I wanted to make him feel better. When he pulled my face up to his and asked me whether he could kiss me, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. I'm pretty certain he'd never felt the need to do that with a girl before so I nodded.

The kiss was incredible. I'd kissed loads of guys in the past, but this kiss felt completely different, he was ghosting my lips like I would break if he went to fast, when I pushed myself up and into the kiss he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, it wasn't close enough, I needed to be closer. I gave his tongue access to my mouth and that seemed to intensify the kiss to a new level. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than his lips on mine, and then he pulled away. I was devastated, but he smiled, and pecked me lightly on the lips, resting his forehead on mine. He had annoyed me by stopping our kiss so I decided to wind him up a bit, and it worked. His face when I said I wanted to go back was priceless, and then I realised as I said it that it was absolutely freezing so I used a genuine excuse as to why I wanted to go back.

The rest of the walk back was comfortable, chatting every now and again, but quite happy to walk in the quiet as well. When we got to my building I was annoyed at how quickly the time had gone. I wanted to have a bit more time with him, he tried to kiss me again, but I knew that if I kissed him now I wouldn't be able to stop, so I planted a soft lingering kiss on his lips, hopefully he wouldn't forget that one for a while. I pulled his arms from around me and stroked his cheek lightly, and I felt my resolve shatter, I moved in to kiss him again, when I heard Alice shriek my name from the door and then Rosalie, I hadn't even noticed the door opening.

Edward rolled his eyes, and said that was his cue to leave, he kissed me on the cheek and turned away. I needed to hear his voice again, so I called after him. "Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked and he answered, he had the most beautiful voice, like velvet almost. I forgot I didn't have his number, Alice would definitely have to give it to me.

When he had actually left I turned around and Alice squealed, Rosalie saying "Tell us everything" in an overdramatic way, a huge grin on her face.

I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door to get into the room. Alice immediately got her phone out of her pocket and grabbed mine which was in my hand. She programmed what I guess was Edward's number in and said "Done" as she handed my phone back to me, I smiled and mouthed 'thank you' at her.

Rosalie pulled my hand and pulled me towards her bed, sitting me down next to her.

"Seriously Bella, you went on a date with Edward?!"

I just nodded my head slightly, I could feel myself starting to blush and so I tried to think of something else to keep myself from going bright red.

"He's never gone on a date before Bella, how did you get him to do it?" Alice chirped, sitting on my other side.

"Get him to do it?" I was confused, "He asked me, I didn't get him to do anything"

Alice stared at Rosalie, in what I believe was disbelief, I turned to look at Rosalie who was staring at Alice, jaw dropped.

"You mean he asked you to go out with him?" Rosalie asked in shock.

"Erm, yeah..."

"Well, he must have tried it on with you then?!" Alice said trying to get some gossip.

"Erm, well he asked me if he could kiss me"

"Oh my god, are you hearing this Alice?"

"He asked her, _he asked her_! This is incredible! So he didn't try and feel you up or anything?" Alice as getting a little over excited, I think a bit of smut would have made her calm down a bit, but there was nothing to say.

"No, we just kissed. It was... It was nice, really nice"

I told them about the kiss with Edward, earning ooh's and aah's from them every now and then. They seemed shocked at how sweet and genuine Edward had been with me. But it was late, and I had my first day of class in the morning so I decided to go to bed.

I woke up the next morning and got ready before Rosalie and Alice got up, so I could avoid more questioning. I was burning to call or text Edward and say thank you for last night, but I decided I could do that later in the day. It might look a little desperate if I did it first thing in the morning.

It's just I had just woken from the most amazing dream that he helped me star in; it was so sensory, like it was real. We were in my room, Alice and Rosalie out somewhere I guess. And I was lying on the bed, him on his side next to me running his hands up and down my side, tracing the curves and contours of my body lovingly. He looked truly happy, and I felt like I'd never felt before, almost like I was in love. He leant down to me, smiling and kissed me on the lips, and then he moved from next to me on the bed to resting his knees in between my legs, running his hands down my body as he kissed me deeply, his hands gripping my hips tightly as our kiss became urgent and fierce. He slipped his hands from my hips down to my thighs, skimming over the silk of my panties on the way, he pulled away from my lips and started kissing and nipping at my neck, as his hands stroked the insides of my thighs, so close to my throbbing centre and I ached to have him there, working his magic. He let his thumb stroke over my wet folds over my panties and I whimpered at his touch, he looked up at me and grinned cheekily as he pulled my panties down and ran one finger down my wet folds in a smooth motion causing me to groan. Then his fingers found the bundle of nerves that needed him so much, he circled around it, making me crave him, "Edward" I whispered, and he began planting kisses along my jaw bone, I could feel him smiling into the kisses, obviously enjoying what he was doing to me, or the reactions he was provoking in me. And then, just as he decided to put me out of my misery by stroking my throbbing clit I heard my alarm clock. And that was why I felt the need to ring him this morning. I needed to see if he lived up to the dreams.

As I walked across campus to get to my class, I started to think back. This was always such a bad idea, there was one dream that I always remembered vividly, and that was the one that I had written in my diary, that Edward had oh so kindly played out in front of the school, ruining the ending. _"Worst nightmare remember? Not a fantasy"_, I remembered those last words he had said to me, and I shuddered. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked at the display.

"James, Hi"

_Hello Beautiful! How're you on this lovely morning?_

"Not bad thank you, how're you?"

_I'm good thank you, a bit disappointed I didn't get to see you last night! Was he worth it?_

"I'm not sure that I should be talking to you about it actually James, you're going to be a little biased aren't you?" I laughed.

_I think that means he wasn't worth it!_

"No, not at all, I just think it'd between me and him"

_Oh so he was worth it then? _I heard him laugh down the phone. I had to laugh again.

"James! Stop digging for information!"

_I'm just trying to see if you're still interested in coming out with me tonight!_

To be honest, with my head wrapped up in Edward I had completely forgotten about my drink with James.

"Of course I am James. I've been looking forward to it" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I knew my mind would be on Edward tonight.

_Oh good, well shall I meet you outside your building at say...8?_

"Yeah definitely, I'll see you then ok?"

_Excellent, I'll see you at 8 then babe. Bye_

"Bye James", and I hung up, I would definitely try and make this work, I knew that things with Edward couldn't go any further than they did last night or it would be a mistake. But things with James could go as far as I wanted, and I could take advantage of that.

After my classes, I headed back to my room. Alice and Rosalie were out with Jasper and Emmett, Alice had written a little note to tell me and left it on my bed.

_Bella,_

_We've gone out with Em and Jasper. Edward's been bugging me about you. Please ring him, he's annoying me!_

_Alice x_

Edward wanted me to call him. I would, I just had to work out what I was going to say first. I opened my laptop, replying to Renee's email.

_Mom, _

_I'm fine please try not to worry. My roommates Alice and Rosalie are great, and I've already met some really nice people. I'm going out tonight so don't get worried if I don't reply again for a while._

_I started classes today, it seems ok, not much to tell at the moment, but I'm enjoying myself, so calm down a bit ok?_

_Hope you and Phil are ok._

_Love you Mom._

_Bella x_

Hopefully that would keep her quiet for a while; I didn't need her starting on me, adding to the stress I was already under. I decided that with 45 minutes left until I had to meet James I would get ready. I pulled my shirt off and threw it to my bed as I walked towards my closet. I heard a knock at the door, so I walked over and opened it, completely forgetting I had taken my shirt off, imagine my embarrassment then when Edward was standing on the other side of the door.

"Shit Edward!" I shouted and slammed the door, running to my bed and pulling my shirt back on quickly. I ran back over to the door, and opened it slowly, with a sheepish look on my face. "Sorry, I forgot, I'd taken my shirt off!" he laughed, eyes still bugging from my little peep show. I opened the door further and gestured for him to come in.

"I'm not complaining Bella, believe me!" He stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "You didn't call me, I thought...Well, I didn't think you would mind if I came round? I don't have your number you see, or I would have called you"

"Edward it's fine don't worry" I said as I started to look through my closet again. "I was going to ring you, I just got a little...distracted?" I turned to smile at him, but he looked confused.

"Why are you getting changed?"

"I'm going out..."

"What? Where are you going?" He was getting that angry look in his eyes again.

"I'm going out for a drink with Ja-"

"You're still going out with him?" He almost shouted at me, scaring me slightly. I stepped back against the closet. "Sorry...sorry Bella, I didn't mean to shout". I didn't say anything to him. I just nodded. "I just thought that with last night and everything..." he drifted off, I don't think he was planning on finishing.

"I promised him I would go out with him Edward"

"But we kissed last night. I thought that you would change your mind?"

"Yes Edward, we kissed. I didn't agree to marry you, I am allowed to see other people!" I raised my voice slightly. I didn't want to see other people. I wanted to see Edward; that kiss meant something to me last night, and by the way he was acting I think it might have meant something to him as well. But I couldn't be with Edward like that, it wasn't right. He didn't know who I was and I liked it that way, but I couldn't deceive him. I had a feeling that he wanted more than just one night with me, and if that was the truth then I knew that it was wrong. So I would continue to see James and try and get Edward to move on to other girls.

"I don't want you to", he whispered. I was hurting him. I couldn't have made that much of an impression. We met 2 days ago!

"Edward, I'm going out with James ok? I'll call you later" I said, I gave up trying to find something to wear; I didn't feel like making an effort tonight. I grabbed my purse and keys and walked out the door, slamming it behind me and leaving him standing in the middle of the room.

When I got outside the building James was standing there waiting. I checked the time. He was 15 minutes early... eager?

"James?" I called as I walked towards him, he turned around, a huge smile on his face, "You're early!"

"Well, so are you!" he laughed, checking the time on his phone. "Shall we go?"

"Definitely!" I replied as enthusiastically as I could manage, I looked behind as we started to walk away and saw Edward standing at the entrance of the building staring after us.

We got to the bar, and sat at a booth with our drinks, which James had kindly bought.

"So tell me about your date last night"

"No James, I'm out with you, let's focus on that ok?" I said smiling over the top of my drink at him. His eyes sparkled, but not much as Edward's. And his hair was slightly dishevelled like Edward's, but not a sexy way, in a messy way. I really had to stop thinking of Edward.

"Ok, I have absolutely no worries focusing on you!" He laughed and winked at me.

After a few drinks, I was getting on really well with James, but my mind was still focussed on Edward. There was a part of me screaming at myself to phone him and apologise, but I couldn't. James moved closer to me on the booth and took my hand in his, he looked up into my eyes and moved even closer, I could feel his breath on my face as he moved closer and kissed me. It wasn't the same gentle kiss that I had with Edward, and I didn't feel the same spark, but I kissed him back anyway.

I felt his tongue lick my lower lip asking for access so I opened my mouth and let his tongue probe my mouth fiercely, I rested my hands on either side of his neck and pulled him closer to me. With my eyes closed I suddenly imagined Edward's face. This was completely wrong but it was working, pretending he was Edward could help the situation. When I needed to breathe I pulled myself away from him and he started to kiss my neck, I turned my head away slightly, stretching out so he had more skin to cover as my hands ran through his hair.

"Bella" he whispered, out of breath

"Mmm?"

"Come back to mine..." He said, still kissing my neck.

"Mmm... ok", what was I saying? I didn't want to go back with him. I'd just agreed to do something I didn't want to do. I wanted to go to Edward's room, not James'!

He got up from the booth we were sitting in and grabbed my hand pulling me up with him, he led me out of the bar and we walked in silence to his building. I think this was Edward's building, but I couldn't be sure, I'd never been to Edward's room.

He led me up the stairs and we started walking down the corridor towards his room. Before we got to what I believe was his door, he pushed me up against the wall and I whimpered as his hands went behind my head and pulled my head forward to kiss me with force. One of his hands ran down my side and found itself on my thigh just beside my ass, he gripped me tightly and started to hitch my skirt up.

"Wait James" I whispered, out of breath from the kiss, "We can't do this here"

"No, please don't, I think everyone can guess what's going to happen next", a familiar voice started from the other end of the corridor. I turned my head to where the voice came from, James resting his forehead on the side of my head as I did so. My eyes widened in surprise as I saw Edward staring at me, fists screwed up into balls and visibly fuming.

"Edward!" I gasped, and attempted to push James off me, but he was still pushing me hard against the wall. Edward turned around, heading down the stairs again.

"Edward!" I shouted, he didn't turn back around, he carried on down the stairs, when James put his hand over my mouth and whispered in my ear.

"He's not worth it babe, he's gone. See, he's gone" and he turned my head to kiss me again, and for some reason I let him, I kissed him with all the fury that I felt for myself for upsetting Edward. While kissing me, James got his key out of his back pocket and opened his door, pushing us both inside. He walked us both to the edge of his bed, it hit the back of my knees and I sat down. He climbed on top of me, pushing me down as he stretched us out, him laying his weight on me. Still kissing fiercely, I was so angry at myself, I was letting it all out in the wrong way. But I wasn't going to stop him, I needed this, it might get Edward off my brain.

I felt James' rough hands slide up my skirt and pull down my panties, he threw them off to the side and pushed his fingers into my entrance pumping into me slowly, his thumb circling my clit, giving me the friction I needed, I whimpered under his rough touch. I didn't want this to be gentle tonight, I needed to be blown away. James obviously wasn't into foreplay. He pulled his fingers out from me, grabbed my hips and turned us over so I was straddling him. He pulled at the hem of my top, I took his hint and yanked my t-shirt over my head and discarded it with my panties on the floor. I ran my hands down his chest quickly and did the same with his shirt, and started on the button of his jeans, he lifted his hips for me and I swiftly pulled his jeans and his boxers down at the same time, I crawled down his body and pulled them off him completely, he was standing proud for me, not the biggest I'd seen but it would definitely scratch my itch. I reached over to his bedside cabinet and was glad when I saw practically a whole drawer full of condoms. I opened the packet with my teeth and rolled it onto him.

"Bella, your bra" He only just managed to get the sentence out through the lust, his voice was harsh and needy. I reached behind my back and undid the clasp, letting my bra fall away for him. He groaned in response, he grabbed my hips again and rolled us over, he pushed into me hard as we rolled, him now on top of me. He pulled straight out and pushed in again, harder this time. This was definitely what I needed.

"Harder James" I ordered breathlessly, he just nodded as he pushed into me harder and harder, I could feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter and I knew I wasn't far off.

"Come on Bella, come for me", I looked up at him. He was close too, he wouldn't last much longer, I ran my hand down my body to reach my small bundle of nerves that needed attention. I felt James hit my hand away, and he did it for me. He squeezed my clit hard and fast, rubbing it and twirling it between his thumb and finger.

"Ungh James!" I shouted as I felt the knot get tighter and tighter, then James pushed into me harder than ever before and I came for him, "Fuck! James!" I shuddered underneath him as the high swept over me, engulfing me in flames, James grunted my name as he came, and collapsed himself on top of me, his head resting in the crook of my neck.

"Bella, Bella, Bella", he whispered in my ear. He wasn't Edward, it was enough for tonight, but I felt sick. I'd just slept with someone out of anger at myself, James had been rough, but it only led me to think of how Edward would have been, if he would have whispered into my ear as he plowed into me. James pulled out of me and rolled to the side of me, his hand winding around my waist, pulling me towards him. He kissed my shoulder, and I sighed. I wonder what Edward would have done afterwards. I had to get back, I tried to pull away from him to get away but he pulled me closer. I wasn't going to be able to get away so I just closed my eyes and drifted into a nice sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

EPOV

I walked back to my room that night with the biggest grin on my face; I felt a skip in my step. I was happy, and I hadn't even had sex with her. And I knew I wouldn't even contemplate it until I knew she wanted it as much as I did. I'd never felt like this before, sex was sex usually. But sex with Bella... I wanted to be able to savour it. To remember it properly.

I opened the door to my room, Emmett and Jasper were still sitting in front of the TV playing the PS3.

"Have you guys even moved since I left?" I laughed, wanting to spread my good mood.

"Jasper answered his phone earlier, it was Alice"

"She said you were going on a date with _Bella_?" Jasper asked me inquisitively.

"Oh did she now?" I laughed, pulling my shirt off to get ready for bed.

"Was she lying?" Emmett was a bit too enthusiastic about this.

"No she wasn't lying" I smiled to myself as I remembered how she looked, pushing Alice out of the way when I got to her door.

"Did you get some this time then?" Emmett was definitely annoying me with his enthusiasm about mine and Bella's sex life.

"Get some?" I asked, getting angry, "What do you think I am?"

"You're Edward Cullen!" Jasper laughed, it was true, from past behaviour they were definitely right.

"She turned you down _again_ didn't she Cullen?" Emmett boomed, I was going to punch him if he didn't shut up.

"No!" I shouted back. "Coz I didn't try to sleep with her!" That was it. I wasn't going to answer any more questions, and I think Jazz and Emmett worked this out; they didn't push it any further, although I knew Emmett would be itching to ask me more questions as soon as possible! I got into bed and turned over to go to sleep. I wasn't going to let them both sour my mood. I was on a high, caused by Bella.

I got up the next morning with a massive hard on. Fuck. I'd had a great dream about me and Bella, it was incredible. I wonder if she lived up to my dream. I bet that she's even better. I headed for the shower to sort myself out, thinking about Bella the whole time. With the hot water cascading down onto me, I completely immersed myself into my Bella world. I didn't last long, just picturing those long legs around me while I pounded into her sent me over the edge. I hoped it wouldn't take long for her to ring me. I wanted to talk to her right now, but I knew she would make me wait.

I got changed and left the bathroom. Emmett and Jasper were up, looking at me as I walked back into the room.

"Morning" I nodded in their direction, hoping they wouldn't start on me again this morning.

"You seeing Bella today?" Emmett started. Oh. My. God. Why can't he just drop it?

"Dunno, probably not."

"Because she wouldn't sleep with you?" Emmett's mouth hinted at a smile.

"No, I told you, I didn't try anything. I'm just leaving it up to her", I smiled to myself. I was acting so differently, it was weird for me to feel this way, Emmett and Jazz must be confused as well. "I'm going to class, I'll give you a ring later, we'll get lunch or something yeah?" Jasper nodded and so I left the room, heading to my class.

I found the building easily this time, and walked into the classroom 5 minutes early. I found myself a seat and sat down, a very attractive strawberry blonde girl came to sit next to me.

"Hi, I'm Tanya!" She pushed out her chest as she spoke, trying to gain my attention.

"Hey, Edward" I said introducing myself, smiling and nodding in her direction.

"Hey Edward!" She giggled, "Maybe we could be study partners?"

"Yeah...maybe" I replied, I didn't want to be rude after all. If things didn't work out with Bella the way I wanted them to, I didn't want to cut myself off completely on the first day of class.

Then I saw that guy, James walk in. I didn't realise he was going to be in my class. It's fine though. Bella more than likely won't go out with him tonight and then it'll be fine. I won't have to worry about him today. I just need her to ring me. James sat down next to a blonde haired girl, she was really hot, he kissed her on the cheek and took her hand. Maybe a conquest from last night that he wasn't willing to let go? Class started and I half listened. The first year wasn't too important really was it?

I was watching James as he laughed and joked with the blonde girl in front of me. He was whispering in her ear, making her blush, he was holding her hand throughout the class, and leaning in every now and again to kiss her. I wonder if Bella knew about this?

When class ended I got up first and got to the door, I turned around to see him practically eating her face off, his hands roaming her body as she was sat up on the desk now. He pulled away slightly and his eyes momentarily met mine. He smiled as he pulled away completely, leaving the blonde out of breath, chest heaving.

"It's Edward right?" He looked at me, smiling.

"Uh,yeah" I replied. This guy was exactly like me, I should have got on with him fine. But I'd never met anyone like me before. And I'd never met anyone like Bella before either.

"You were out with Bella last night?" I just nodded in return, "She any good?"

"What?" I asked in disbelief

"Is she worth it? You know, does she put out?" He grinned at me like I should be on his wavelength, but he was talking about _Bella_. I couldn't let him talk about her like that.

"That's absolutely none of your business!"

"You mean she rejected you?" He laughed smugly, "I'll just have to pull out my A game tonight then!" He winked at me.

"She won't sleep with you" I stated, faking certainty.

"Let's just see... She might surprise us both!"

I wanted to hit him. But instead I stormed out of the room. I needed to talk to Bella.

I phoned Jasper, he was with Alice and Rosalie and Emmett was on his way to meet them, so I headed for where they were. When I got to the same coffee shop that I had been to with Bella, they were all there. I grabbed myself a coffee and went to sit with them.

"Is everything ok Edward? You sounded pretty wired on the phone" Jasper asked, worried.

"You look like you want to hit someone!" Alice chirped.

"I fucking do!" I almost shouted. "I need to talk to Bella, can you get her to call me?"

"It's ok, I already left a note telling her to call you" she smiled triumphantly.

"How did you know I wanted her to call me?" I asked, I almost smiled, but I was too angry.

"I may have elaborated a little bit" She giggled. But I relaxed a little, expecting a call soon. I started to enjoy myself with my friends, finding out how they all got on in their classes, they were all doing well so far, which I was happy about. When it got to 6:45 I was worried, Bella still hadn't called. I needed to talk to her, I decided I would just go to hers.

I got to her door and knocked on it, the door flung open and Bella was there in her skirt and a bra. Oh dear god. But before I got the chance to really appreciate it she swore and slammed the door. She opened it again a few seconds later now fully clothed, and let me in. As I was standing there I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd just seen, she apologised which baffled me. I certainly wasn't complaining so I told her that. She seemed to want to get changed, she was looking through her closet. Then she told me she was going out with James, and then we had the row, and she stormed out. I was so angry, she left me there in her room, just standing there in the middle of the room, gob smacked.

She'd gone out with him, and he would try it on with her. I hoped to god that she would turn him down. What if she didn't? Would I be angry?

I sat on what I thought was her bed for a while, hoping that she would come back, but I came to the decision that she obviously just decided to go. I went down the stairs and stood in the doorway of the building, watching as they walked down the road away from me, and Bella turned to look at me, before her head snapped back. I was starting to worry that maybe she didn't feel the same way about me that I did about her. I went for a really long walk, letting the chill of the air clear my head, but it wasn't fucking working. After a few hours I got to my building and started to climb the stairs when I heard what I thought was a girl whimpering. I looked down the corridor as I walked down towards my room. I saw a guy pushing a dark haired girl against the wall, kissing her hard, it reminded me of myself. Until I heard the girl speak.

"Wait James, we can't do this here" She gasped. It was Bella. It was Bella, and it was James. And she was giving in to him. I couldn't help myself from speaking.

"No, please don't, I think everyone can guess what's going to happen next", Bella turned suddenly, staring at me with what looked like a pained expression.

"Edward!" I just stared at her, I couldn't believe she was doing this, and with him. She didn't know what he was like.

I had to leave, I couldn't see this. This was the first girl I had ever really liked, and I was watching her about to have sex with an absolute jerk. Now I know how Emmett felt when he caught me and Rosalie making out in the locker room when I knew that he was going to ask her out. I turned around and started down the stairs, she shouted my name again, but I couldn't turn around and see it again, if she wanted to talk to me she could unlock herself from James and come and get me.

But she didn't. I stood outside the building for an hour, hoping she would have a row with James and come and get me. But nothing. I went back up to my room, walking past what I now knew as James' door. Right next door to me. I couldn't cope with this. She was inside there with him, _my _Bella wasn't mine anymore. Why did I still want to fight for her? She had rejected me and chosen him, but I still wanted her, more than anything.

I went to my room and slammed the door, waking up Emmett and Jasper.

"Just don't fucking start ok?" I shouted, getting into bed. But I couldn't sleep I just lay there. Imagining his hands all over her, her groaning his name, writhing underneath him, kissing him, her hands on him. I wanted to kill him. I needed to do something.

I woke up after and awful night's sleep and walked out into the corridor. I stood by James' door, and could hear someone moving around inside, and then the door opened, and there stood James, in boxers and nothing else. He looked at me and grinned.

"What did I say huh?" he smiled. I punched him, and he fell backwards, landing on the floor, I looked past him into his room, no Bella. I wondered where she was, I wanted to see her. I didn't know what I wanted to say to her, I just needed to see her.

"Where is she?" I shouted, it was early but I didn't care if I woke people up, I needed to know where she was.

"Man you're a dick!" James shouted back at me, standing back up. "Bella, well, she was alright for a night you know, but..." He drifted off, grinning at me again. So I went to hit him again, but he caught my hand and punched me instead, I stumbled back but didn't fall.

"Now now Edward, let's not get physical here." He smiled again, smugly. This guy smiled too much. "Bro's before hoe's remember?" That was it, I punched him again, as hard as I could and he fell again, I think I knocked him out. But I left him there, unconscious in the corridor. I needed to see Bella.

I ran to Bella's building in the same clothes as last night. I know I looked an absolute state, I had stubble and my clothes were creased, my usually unruly hair, and the black eye I could feel forming helped my look tremendously. By the time I got up the stairs of Bella's building I had absolutely no breath left. I took a minute to calm myself down, I put one hand against the wall and leaned over, breathing deeply. Then I heard a door open, and someone walk out. They gasped, so I looked up. It was Bella, she was in a tracksuit and had a bottle of water in her hand.

"Edward? What's happened to you?" She looked like she had been crying, but she ran over to me and cupped my face in her hand.

"Bella..." I tried to talk but I was still so out of breath from my run to her building.

"Here, sit down", she lowered me onto the floor, sitting next to me, leaning against the wall.

"Bella, why...why did you do it?" I managed to get out.

"Because of you Edward" She looked like she was going to cry again. It broke my heart to see her like that.

"What do you mean?" I was so confused, why would she sleep with James because of me?

"It doesn't matter. He's not interested, and... well, it just doesn't matter ok? I've got to go" she got up and left me sitting on the ground, I reached up and grabbed her hand.

"Bella... please? I don't want this..."

BPOV

He didn't want this? What was that supposed to mean? I pulled my hand away from him and ran down the stairs. I'd decided to go for a run to sort my head out, that's when I saw him bent double in the corridor with a black eye, completely out of breath. I rushed over to him but he couldn't speak, he never mentioned how he got the black eye, but he mentioned last night so I'm guessing it had something to do with James. I decided to be honest with him then and tell him that I'd slept with James because of him. Because I couldn't sleep with him, I'd slept with James instead. What a fucking ridiculous idea.

I started running down the street, doing laps of the campus. When I'd woken up this morning, James was still asleep, but his arms weren't around me anymore so I decided to get up, but that woke him up.

"Bella? You leaving?"

"Yeah, I've got to get back" I said pulling my clothes on that were in a pile on the floor next to the bed, his roommates weren't here. I wondered where they were.

"Oh good, I'm so glad you're not a clinger. I was worried you'd wake up and be all lovey dovey" he rolled over, resting his hands under his head watching me change.

"What?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Well you know, last night was last night and now we can carry on with our lives. We both got what we wanted."

"No James I certainly didn't get what I wanted!" I shouted. I hope I hadn't woken anybody up, it was so early. "You think I wanted to sleep with _you_ last night?"

"Well I didn't hear you complaining love!" He said smiling. God I hated his smile.

"You were just there at the right time. It could have been anyone!" I shouted again.

"Oh god, you wanted a proper relationship didn't you love?" He laughed at me like I was a little girl.

"Of course I fucking didn't you dick!" I was never a big shouter but he was just so infuriating, "You were just useful, I needed to forget something. Believe me you have nothing special!"

"Oh come on, you know you loved last night!"

"You're deluded James, you know that?" I turned to grab my purse which was also on the floor. "I needed sex and I got it, it's just a shame it was with you!"

I rushed to the door and walked out, slamming the door behind me. And then when I got back to my room I got changed into my tracksuit and headed out the door for a run.

I just couldn't deal with Edward's feelings at the moment. I needed to sort my head out. This had all gone so terribly wrong. I'd wanted to hurt him for all the times he'd hurt me but instead I'd hurt myself. I'd fallen for him. In two fucking days!

Alice had obviously given him my number. I was getting calls and texts from him every day. He said he just wanted to talk to me. And then that changed into 'needing' to talk to me. He sounded more and more desperate with each message and text.

It had been 6 weeks since I left him sitting on the corridor floor. I still couldn't face seeing him. I changed buildings so he wouldn't know where I was living, I moved out of Alice and Rosalie's room 2 days after and got moved into another building. My new roommate was lovely, her name was Angela, and she was in my class so we got on really well and studied together. I was glad she was the studious type, she didn't like going out too much so I had less chance of running into Edward.

I'd seen him though, I'd seen him walking around campus, he looked rough, and was with a different girl every time I saw him. Alice texted me to tell me that he'd been sleeping around, but that he wasn't the same. She thought I should talk to him. I hadn't seen any of them since I moved out. Alice had been so angry with me when I said I was moving out, she said Edward was good for me, and that I had changed him, that he wasn't just after sex anymore, but obviously, he'd gone back to that.

I hadn't seen James around at all, and I began to think that maybe he'd dropped out for some reason, but then I remembered that I really didn't give a shit.

Me and Angela were studying in our room one afternoon when she suddenly said something out of character.

"Do you want to go out tonight Bella?!" She sounded excited, I wondered why. I smiled at her.

"If you want to, I don't mind!"

"Oh good! I met this guy today, Ben, and he said he was going to be at the student bar tonight"

"Well we better head there then!" I laughed at her enthusiasm, secretly dreading that Edward would be there. Angela didn't know why I had moved in with her. She just assumed I hadn't got on with my previous roommates, I didn't feel the need to explain.

A while later we got ready to go, I decided to wear my black wife beater jersey dress, which I realised after we left I had worn on my date with Edward. It was too late to go back now without having to explain everything to Angela so I tried to forget I was wearing it.

When we got to the bar I did a quick scan of the room, great, none of them were there. I could get on with my night without worrying about what I was going to say to them. Angela and I both got drinks, and went to sit down, but then she spotted Ben.

"Look, there he is Bella!" She jumped around on the seat excitedly, "That's Ben!" She looked in his general direction and I spotted him just as he saw her. He looked just as excited as she was, and came rushing over.

"Angela you came!" He sat himself on the seat next to her and grinned."I said I would didn't I?" Angela smiled at him, "This is Bella, my roommate!" She gestured towards me and I smiled weakly. "Hi Bella, Angela kept talking about you today! Nice to meet you!" He went to take my hand, so I stared at Angela in mock anger and shook Ben's hand.

After drinking a lot of alcohol Ben asked Angela if she would go and dance with him. She looked at me apologetically.

"Bella?"

"Angela, you don't need to ask me, go and enjoy yourself!" I had already consumed too many drinks to care if I was sat there alone looking sad. She danced off with Ben into a crowd of people, and I lost her completely. I started looking around the bar. I saw a few people from my classes and my building, but nobody I really spoke to. I had tried to keep myself to myself over the past couple of weeks, a few guys tried to speak to me but I was just so immersed in my own misery I wasn't worth talking to. I was sat staring at the table when I heard a glass being put down next to me.

"I'm sorry, I'm waiting for someone" I lied without looking up. I wasn't in the mood to be sociable. Whoever was standing there had just sat down next to me, obviously not taking the hint. "Look I'm sorry to be rude bu-" I looked up and was dumbstruck. "Edward"

"I was beginning to think you had dropped out Bella", a sentence like that should have been funny, but the look on his face was so serious, and I could see pain behind his eyes. I'd had too much to drink by this time, this wasn't how I planned on next talking to him.

"No Edward" I slurred. "I did not drop out", I tried to turn away but he caught my chin to pull me back to him. I pushed him away, but with my instability I pushed him too hard and ended up falling back off my chair and whacking my head off the floor, meanwhile Edward remained unmoved, shocked.

"Shit, Bella!" He jumped up off his chair and knelt down beside me, lifting my head up from the back, slowly and gently. "Fuck! Are you ok?"

"Erm, yeah I'm fine" I said, rubbing the back of my head wincing. I took his hand and he helped me up, lifting me back onto the seat carefully. I smiled gratefully at him, but his face hadn't changed from the serious one he'd had before.

"I think you should put some ice on that Bella, you don't want to get a bump"

"I'll be fine Edward really. Why are you here?" I asked shaking my head at his casualness.

"I come here every night, I've not seen you here for ages though. So I should be asking you why you're here really", his voice sounded so monotone, but his eyes held a new emotion. Hope maybe?

"I _am_ allowed to leave my room Edward!" I said, the alcohol still had its hold on me for now.

"I didn't say you weren't. I'm not complaining"

"Last time you said that I had no top on" I smiled slightly at the memory.

"Well yes. But you seem to have been ignoring me since I last saw you Bella" His hand reached across the table, but mine flinched back instinctively. He sighed, "Bella".

"Edward..." I swallowed hard. "Edward, I slept with James"

"Do you think I don't know that?" he smiled slightly. At least it was a change to his expression.

"Then why are you still interested? Why do you keep phoning and texting?"

"Oh so you did get them?! I thought you might have changed your number!" He said it with some amusement in his voice. He was enjoying this conversation. I'm glad he was, because I certainly wasn't. "Bella, I've never met someone like you. If I saw another girl do what you did... especially after all of my... efforts... to change." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I would have forgotten her, but I still wanted you. I still cared that he upset you. And I couldn't stop myself thinking why", he looked deep into my eyes. That hold he had on me when we were at school still there, I couldn't look away. I could get lost in those eyes, I would never tire of looking into them.

"Why?" I repeated

"Why you slept with him? Why did you do that? I thought we'd got on well?"

"We did Edward" I sighed. I couldn't tell him the truth, that I slept with James because I couldn't sleep with him. "I had to...because..." I didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"Bella!" He almost shouted with frustration, quickly reaching across the table and grabbing my hand before I could pull away. "There was a reason? What do you mean you had to?"

I so wanted to tell him. Maybe he wouldn't care. But maybe the thought of the Bella that he knew in High School repulsed him.

Could I take my chances? "Edward, I lied to you. But...But I can't tell you, you won't understand" I got up from my seat. I couldn't do it. I had to leave. I couldn't sit there and tell him everything.

"Bella! Bella, don't leave! It's been 6 weeks since I last saw you, I can't wait another fucking 6 weeks! Please tell me!"

"I need to go Edward, I need to find Angela and tell her I'm leaving. I need to go." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, they were stinging and blurring my vision. Edward stood up and grabbed both of my shoulders.

"Don't cry Bella. Don't leave me again. Please" It wasn't a question, and I could see the resignation in his eyes, he knew what the answer would be. I reached up and stroked his cheek, much like I did when I wanted to kiss him in the corridor outside my room, I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him chastely on the lips before pulling away from him completely.

"I need to find Angela, and then I'm going"

"I'll walk you back" He offered with hope in his eyes but I shook my head and I saw that hope fade. His eyes began to become moist. I couldn't see Edward cry, not over me.

"No Edward. Can you find Angela and tell her I've gone back?" He nodded and I turned quickly, running out of the bar, across campus and back to my room. Wondering how my life had gone so disastrously wrong in just a few weeks.


	6. Chapter 6

EPOV

One problem. Who the fuck was Angela?

I sat back down scanning the room for anyone who looked like an Angela, but how could I tell from looking at someone's face?!

I thought I would wait until I saw a girl who looked like she'd lost something or someone, so I ordered another drink. Bella had looked awful tonight. I hated seeing her so drawn, like she'd given up on life. I knew she hadn't been out except to class for weeks, I'd been everywhere most nights to look for her. When I saw her sitting there alone tonight I couldn't believe my eyes. I bought her a drink and went to sit with her but she dismissed me without even looking at me, maybe she had seen me walk in?

She tried to turn away from me when I spoke to her, so I instinctively, pulled her back, cupping her chin to face me. I didn't realise she'd had so much to drink that she couldn't exert some force on me without pushing herself off the chair and onto the floor. I rushed down next to her and helped her up. She'd hit her head, but she would live. Our conversation hadn't gone very well. I'd planned on skimming past the subject of James. We'd gotten in another fight when I had arrived back from Bella's that morning, and the dean had found me knocked out in the corridor. He'd kicked James out, I doubt he'd be getting into any other colleges this year.

But she'd brought him up in conversation so I couldn't ignore her. She answered none of my questions, only telling me that she'd had to sleep with him. What did that even mean? It didn't make sense to me, unless he was blackmailing her, which wasn't possible as he'd only met her a day before. Or it could be that she felt she had no other choice. Was I really that repulsive to her?

But then she said she'd been lying to me. She was going to cry. I couldn't watch Bella cry. I didn't care what she'd lied about, I needed her to be with me. The last six weeks had been a blur of college girls for me. Emmett and Jasper thought I was back to my normal self, but I couldn't even enjoy myself having sex with these, undoubtedly beautiful girls, one of them being Tanya, from my class, I said I might need her, and I was right. But I couldn't stop thinking about Bella. I thought that if I went back to how I was before I met her then I might be able to get over her, but it didn't work like that. I didn't even know where she was living. Alice said she didn't know either, so she obviously wanted to cut all strings with me completely. I'd ring her and text her every day. I just wanted to talk, just to make sure she was ok, but I got nothing back.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by a girl tapping my shoulder, agitated.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry to disturb you from... whatever you were doing. I've lost my friend. She said she would stay right here and now sh-"

"Are you Angela?" I asked, taking her hand off my shoulder.

"Er... yes" She looked at me suspiciously.

"Bella got upset, she said she was going back, she was going to come and find you but..."

"Oh thank god! I thought she'd been abducted!" I couldn't help but laugh, Angela obviously cared about Bella, and that was good. I wanted her to have friends like this. "Are you a friend of hers? I mean, she said she didn't know anyone here..."

She'd acted like she'd never met me. Maybe it was easier for her, I didn't know.

"I know her yeah. My name is Edward Cullen"

"Edward Cullen? Oh, me and Bella have heard girls talking about you in class!" she giggled, looking sheepish. Bella had heard about my 'activities', I should have known really. I hadn't exactly tried to keep it private.

"Oh really? Well, Bella knows a different me" I said seriously. I think Angela understood what I meant. Either Bella had mentioned something about a 'guy', or she was just extremely perceptive.

"Oh." She looked down at the floor.

"Could you do me a favour Angela?" I gave her my best smile, and she smiled back, blushing. "Would you let me walk you home?" I figured this was how I could see where Bella was living, make sure she was doing ok.

"Um. I suppose so. Although I hardly know you Edward"

"Angela, I think I'm in love with Bella..." I can't believe I just said that.

"We'd better go then!" She smiled, slightly shocked. She turned around and said bye to a guy who she kissed quickly on the lips, he grinned a huge grin and watched us leave.

We walked back in silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence. It was like she was letting me gather my thoughts, I was grateful. We arrived at her building, it was next to mine. If I'd know she'd been that close the whole time...

We got to the door and Angela let herself in quietly. Bella was sat up in bed, tears pouring down her face, not looking up.

"Bella!" Angela shouted and ran to Bella's bed, wrapping her arms around her protectively. "I think you should probably go..." She whispered, looking at me.

"Don't be stupid Angela, let Ben-" she looked up, "Angela...why is he here?"

"He said he knew you, that he was in lo-"

"Angela!" I shouted, stopping her before she outed my feelings.

"He can't be here. I didn't want him to know..." She was sobbing now...I was just stood in the doorway, my heart aching to go and sweep her up in my arms, make her feel better.

"Bella..." I started.

"No Edward... Please" her eyes were bloodshot and her hair pushed up over her head. She got off the bed and grabbed a book from a pile on the table. "Look at this, closely" she held out the notebook to me. It was the same book I had picked up for her in the coffee shop. The one she had snatched back from me before rushing out, flustered. She held it up to my face. "What does it say Edward?" She cried.

"It say's Bella's Diary" I whispered. It said Bella's diary, like it had done last time. Like when I thought...

"Bella's Diary" she repeated, and shut the door in my face.

.

There was no point in knocking on her door again tonight she wouldn't answer now. I ran down the stairs and round the corner to my building, sprinting up the stairs and throwing my door open to find Emmett and Rosalie going at it.

"Fucking Hell Edward!" Rosalie shouted at me.

"Fuck off Rose!" I almost screamed at her, throwing books around the room.

I found the one I wanted and looked at it. Bella's Diary emblazoned on the front in faded glitter pen. The corners were worn and separating slightly. I opened the first page.

"_My name is Bella Swan. I live in Forks with my Dad, Charlie. He's chief of police, and everyone knows him, but nobody notices me. Plain Bella Swan. My Mom Renee lives in Phoenix wither husband Phil, who is a minor league baseball player. She keeps asking me to move back with her, but things haven't got that bad yet._

_I can handle myself with him. Well, not much, but I'm getting used to it at least. As soon as I get to College my life will be so much easier and I won't have to deal with Edward Cullen. I want to study Public Relations, I think I'll be good at it. I hope I'll be good at it._

_School is a nightmare. I have no friends, I get noticed for the wrong reasons. I have huge brown eyes which are totally out of proportion for my head according to Edward, and my hair is so dark against my skin that I look like the living dead. He says that I'm never going to have a boyfriend, and that nobody will ever fancy me. I think I believe him."_

The last sentence on that first page always killed me. _I think I believe him_. How could I make someone feel that way about themself? I had thought this was funny once, I had made this girl leave school... Leave the state. But after a few months I decided to read the whole thing, front to back. I was a jerk. I had crushed this girl. She probably had confidence before she met me. But I just thought I was being clever, I never thought about what I was doing to her.

I thought back to the day I had obtained the diary. I had tripped her up in the corridor, to make Emmett laugh, it was the day he had caught me and Rosalie making out, I needed to ease the tension, but it hadn't worked. He didn't laugh, he just rolled his eyes. And then I saw the book on the floor. She was still on the floor, scrambling around for her books, but I had the most important one. I saw her looking around for it desperately as I opened it she looked up at me, "Don't do it", she'd asked. But I didn't think anything of it.

I opened it about halfway through and just started reading aloud for everyone to hear. It was funny at the time, even Emmett laughed. I'd knelt down right by her ear and whispered to her _"I'm your worst nightmare..." _I'd said that to her, and she'd said it to me. The night we met again at college. She knew it was me from day one, I can only imagine what she thought of me. The way she'd said it made me want her, but to her it had been said with venom, the way she remembered it being said to her was awful.

I'd answered a question in our literature class by reading out an extract she'd written about me. She'd written that she liked me. No matter what I did to her, she liked me. When I'd re-read that before I hated myself, but I hated her even more for letting herself like a human being like me.

And in the parking lot. Oh god, the parking lot. When I'd played out a dream she'd written about with me, when I'd cupped her chin and pulled her face up to mine. She flinched every time I did that to her, now I know why. It wasn't the same to her, it was like she was reliving what I'd done to her before. _"Worst nightmare remember? Not a fantasy"_, not a fantasy. Not a fucking fantasy! Bella was my ideal woman, why hadn't I realised that at school and saved her all of this...shit!

I can't believe I'd done this to her. She'd slept with James because she couldn't stand the thought of having sex with me. I was a monster to Bella, and she hated me. So she _had_ to sleep with James because sleeping with me would be giving me exactly what I wanted. Which is what she'd done when I hounded her out of Forks.

Her new diary would be full of me too, I think. It would say how much she hated me, and how she wished she'd never set eyes on me again, how I repulsed her. I would have to stay away from her now. She wouldn't want me near her. But I wanted to acknowledge that I knew who she was. I needed to apologise for who I was, and who I had continued to be.

"Edward, man..." Emmett said quietly. I looked up at him, but my vision was blurry, I was fucking crying.

"Leave it ok?" I whispered, he nodded, and I got into bed.

The next day I couldn't do anything. Not even get out of bed. I threw my head under my duvet when I heard my alarm go off. Emmett and Jasper left, not bothering to even try and wake me up. They knew something was wrong with me, but they weren't going to pry. Guy's just don't do the talking thing, we just let it all happen around us, never saying anything about it. So I just lay there all day, thinking about Bella, about our past at Forks High, about how I would say sorry and then stay out of her life, forever. I couldn't sleep the next night, something about not moving all day made me less than tired, so I decided to get up, I walked over to the desk and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.

_Bella,_

_You don't have to read this. You owe me nothing, but if you choose to read it you are the most amazing girl in the world._

_When you told me that you'd lied to me, I had no idea that you meant this. I was racking my brains trying to think of what you meant, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that this was your secret._

_I just would like to tell you that in absolutely no way do I blame you for lying to me, I think what you've done is astounding, and I admire you entirely for getting through the past 6 and a half weeks without finishing me off, I would have if I were you. I will never know the strength it has taken to live with me nearby, and I only hope that this letter can give you some, very small I know, comfort._

_The day I took your diary was the single most shameful day of my existence, and I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I cannot make excuses for myself, I can only say that I am truly sorry that I never gave a second thought to you or your feelings. I have always thought what I would say if I met you again, and I'm sure I completely lived up to your expectations by being a jerk to you once again, and again, I am extremely sorry._

_I wish I could tell you a reason for singling you out whilst we were at school, since reading your diary properly 4 weeks after you left Forks, I know that is what you always wanted to know, and I've always wished that there was an answer, but I'm ashamed to say that there wasn't. You said in it that you thought you saw something behind my persona at school, and to be honest, I had always hoped for my own sake that you were right, but I think that all hope was lost for me the first time I picked on you at school, there is no turning back from that._

_I don't want your forgiveness, I do not deserve it, or you. I would just like you to know, that since meeting you again at College, my life changed. When Emmett said on that first night that you were my fantasy woman, he was right, I only wished I had realised that years ago before I ruined everything. And I now realise that James was just one of the many alternatives to the repulsive thought of sleeping with me. _

_The reason I'm writing this letter is to tell you that you no longer have to deal with me and my guilt which I'm sure you care nothing about, as I expect you to. I will be leaving College on Friday to let you get on with your life._

_You got me back Bella, if that's what you were aiming for. I will remember you for the rest of my life as the girl I nearly had. I know you will never feel the same way for me that I feel for you, but I am still selfish enough to want to tell you. I love you._

_Edward Cullen. X_

The letter gave me three days to get my stuff together and to leave for good. I would go back to Forks for a while, and then I would figure out what I wanted to do after that. I threw some new clothes on and walked through the early morning air next door to Bella's building. I found what I remembered to be her room and left the large envelope outside her door. I heard a shuffling from inside, so I quickly walked away from her door, down the corridor towards the stairs. I heard a door open so I moved quicker.

"Edward? Is that you?" The voice was strained, and obviously distressed. I sighed and turned around.

"Bella"

"Edward why are you here at... 4am?" She squinted at me down the corridor.

"Erm... Bella, I... I just came to leave that" I nodded towards the envelope on the floor by her feet.

"What is it?"

"Just take it ok? I'm sorry for everything" I said and quickly ran down the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

When I'd shown him the diary again I knew it would take a while for it to click, I let it sink in and then I shut the door in his face, not able to stand looking at the pain that I knew would cross his face. If only he knew that I would forgive him. I would forgive him everything if only he said those three little words I wanted to hear since High School. I was completely in love with him, I was then, and I am now, there's just no way of getting around it. But I knew that once he found out exactly who I was he would be repulsed by the sight of me, and all feelings that he thought he had for me would vanish completely.

I spent the next day in bed. Angela didn't bother me, which I definitely appreciated, I'd just wanted to curl up into a ball and die. If he'd figured it out then he definitely wasn't interested, he hadn't texted me, or called me, or come around. He'd figured it out and wanted to be sick. The only problem with spending a whole day in bed is that you then can't sleep at night, I was so restless. I heard something moving outside my door at around 4am, so I got out of bed and padded to the door, there were footsteps moving quickly away from the door. I opened it and looked out, it was him.

He told me he'd come to leave something for me. I looked down at it with suspicion, it was a large thick envelope, I was curious. When I questioned him as to what it was, he just said that he was sorry and ran away.

I picked up the envelope and took it back into my room, luckily I hadn't woken Angela up yet. I tore open the envelope and pulled out a piece of paper, there was something else, something bigger in the envelope but I left it in there, I guessed he would want this piece of paper looked at first.

I opened it up and it was a letter. He had written me a letter telling me all of his feelings. The first line had me in tears, which made the rest of the letter extremely hard to read through blurry eyes. In the letter he just kept telling me he was sorry, and that he understood why I hated him. He said that I had slept with James as it was any other option than to sleep with him because he repulsed me. _He repulsed me?_ He hadn't understood me at all. But then at the bottom of the page, the last sentence of the letter, it had me dumbstruck. He'd put it in writing. Oh my God.

I stared at it for a good half an hour. He loved me? _Edward Cullen loved me?_ But he was leaving so I wouldn't have to see him again. This guy was hopeless, why don't guys understand girls? Then I remembered he had sent me something else. I picked up the envelope and slowly pulled out its contents, it was that back of an old notepad, I turned it over, and my breath caught in my throat. In faded glitter pen was 'Bella's Diary', it looked like it had been read more than I'd ever intended, but Edward had explained in his letter that he had read it 'properly' when I'd left. Not that I knew what that meant.

I grabbed the nearest clothes to me and threw them on. Before leaving the room, I grabbed my keys and the diary, I ran down the corridor, tears streaming down my face. I had to find him. I ran round to his building and flew up the stairs. When I got to his door I hit it as hard as I could, I was being recklessly loud. After a few seconds, a tired looking Emmett opened the door, hand covering his eyes slightly.

"Bella?" He sounded so confused.

"Edward, where is he?" I questioned, I had no time for small talk.

"He's not here Bella, he left about 45 minutes ago with a big envelope. Hasn't come back yet"

"He came to mine with that envelope. He gave me this back" I held out the diary for him to see, and his eyes bugged.

"Why would he give you that? It's not yours"

"It is Emmett. I'm Bella Swan, I went to Forks High with you, and I left because he stole this and humiliated me in front of the whole school. And don't think I don't remember you!" I was still crying hopelessly, no sign of it stopping any time soon.

"Bella? I can't believe it... How long has Edward known? Is this why he's been so moody the last 6 weeks?"

"No, he's only just found out. I need to find him. Any ideas where he would be?" I shifted restlessly on my feet, this conversation was too long for me, I just wanted to find Edward.

"Erm, maybe walking around campus somewhere? He's been spending a lot of time sitting on benches lately. I still can't believe th-"

"Thanks Emmett. I have to go" I ran away, down the corridor and out onto campus. I knew where he would be now. I ran toward the restaurant we'd gone to on our date, hoping he'd be on the bench that was half way there.

I finally got there, completely out of breath, but he wasn't there. I broke down in tears again, but through my breathlessness they weren't coming out properly and I sounded like I was having palpitations.

"Bella?" I heard from a slight distance. I looked up suddenly and there he was, walking towards me quickly with a worried expression on his face. "Bella, what's happened? Do you need an ambulance?"

I stared at him, he knelt down by my feet at the bench, careful not to touch me. Obviously still thinking that I was repulsed by him. But I couldn't seem to move, I was just staring at him.

"Bella?!" He shouted at me, "Bella, what's happened to you?!" His hands came forward and grasped my shoulders, shaking me as he questioned me.

"Ed-ward" I said through the sobs, "I- I didn't know where..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I lurched forward, grabbing his face in my hands and kissing him forcefully. He didn't respond straight away, obviously a little shocked. He held me back by my shoulders he was still holding.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I could see his eyes starting to well up with tears. "Why are you doing this?"

"Edward you don't understand, you never did"

"Understand what?"

"I loved you then, I still love you" My tears were starting to subside. I needed to be able to say my piece.

"How can you? I'm a monster. You and James sl-"

"You still don't understand. When I said I had to sleep with James, I meant that I thought I couldn't sleep with you. You wouldn't want me when you figured out who I was, and you would regret it, and I couldn't live with that. I slept with James because I couldn't have you, because I wanted you too much, and it scared me. I needed you to hate me for it, to leave me alone."

He stared at me just like I had stared at him. It looked like he was beginning to understand, but then a look of disgust came over his face.

"I ruined it Bella."

"No you didn't"

"I don't want you to forgive me" He looked angry now, I'm not sure whether it was at me or himself, "I don't deserve your forgiveness, or your love. I don't deserve you Bella!" He was almost shouting at me.

"You said in the letter you loved me" I starting sobbing, I collapsed into the crook of his neck.

"I do"

"Then love me." I looked up to see him staring straight ahead, "Let me love you", I whispered, hoping he would pay attention. He looked down at me then, his eyes worried.

"I... I don't know how Bella"

I sat up, my face level with his and took his head in my hands, staring into his mesmerising eyes. I slowly leant in to kiss him, just a peck on the lips first to check his reaction, but as I pulled away, his hands reached up and brought my face to his quickly, moulding his mouth to mine. The kiss was intense and slow, he meant it, every second of it, and I did too. His tongue traced across my top lip, and I opened my mouth to grant him access, our tongues intertwined, caressing each other. My hands moved to the back of his neck, stroking it, and running my hand through the back of his hair, but then he pulled away.

"I haven't said it" He suddenly came out with.

"Said what?" I asked. Breathless and slightly dizzy from the kiss.

"I love you Bella Swan!" He smiled his amazing smile and I giggled slightly. Then he changed his expression to mock hurt. "You have to say it back!" and he laughed.

"I love you Edward Cullen!" I whispered and leaned back in to kiss him, but he pushed me back. Now my turn to turn on the faux hurt look.

"I didn't hear you!"

"Maybe you should listen harder then, I'm not saying it again, I still don't believe that I'm not dreaming!"

"Bella, all those dreams you had for us. They're all going to come true. All of them. I'm never going to let you go."

I smiled at him again, and leaned in to kiss him again. This time it was more forceful, with need that engulfed us and heightened my senses to every touch he gave me. When I felt his hand ghosting from my knee higher up my leg I pulled away, an eyebrow cocked.

"Really? Outside?" I laughed.

"Whatever it takes remember?!" He smiled at me a crooked smile. I think I would love that smile in the future. "Where do you want to go?" He whispered with need.

"Well Edward... I really fancy some sleep actually" I chuckled, his eyes widened.

"Oh!" He leant back a bit, looking at me. "If you were wanting to wait, I'd completely understand"

"Shut up Edward!" I said, slapping him playfully on the chest, but he caught my hand in his, placing kisses on each of my fingers. "But I haven't slept much. And I thought that maybe... When Angela goes to class..."

He stood up, pulling my hand in a gesture to get me to stand up as well, so I complied, standing in front of him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands meeting and securing themselves by my ass, he leant down and smiled into my ear whispering, "I can get Emmett and Jazz to leave... Right. This. Second." And he kissed me on the nose.

I looked up at him and nodded. And he started walking me back towards his building, busily texting what I guess was Emmett or Jasper. I started to feel nervous for some ridiculous reason. I'd had sex before, lots of times, this shouldn't be difficult, I knew what I was doing. But for some reason this felt completely different, I was going to be having sex with _Edward Cullen._ I hoped he lived up to the hype, I hoped I wouldn't disappoint.

We got back to his building and walked up the stairs, we walked the whole way in silence. But it wasn't a comfortable silence like before. It was a nervous silence. Maybe he was feeling the same way as me. He stood in front of his door, and grabbed his keys out of his pocket. He smiled and raised his eyebrows, he opened the door and invited me in. No Emmett or Jasper. He has some pretty understanding friends.

"How did you get them to leave?" I asked, turning around once I was in the room, watching him put his keys and wallet down on the desk.

"We have a code. They know what to do!" He said it so casually, I frowned and pouted. I must have looked confused. "They use it too... for Alice and Rose, it wasn't made specifically for me"

"Ok yeah" I said unconvincingly.

"Bella we really don't have to do this. It's just... privacy you know?" He started walking over towards me, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"I know. But I want to. It's just weird, they know what we're doing..." He laughed slightly, "Don't laugh Edward!"

"I'm sorry Bella. I've just... I don't know. Nobody's ever really thought about it like that before" He laughed again before planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. He took his hands off my shoulders and reached down to grab my hand, he pulled me over to what I believe was his bed and we both sat down on the side.

He looked at me with burning eyes. One of his hands reached up to my forehead and ghosted down my face, then my neck, causing me to turn my head slightly, giving him more skin to cover. He then reached back up and cupped my chin in the same way that he did in the parking lot at school. He leaned in to my ear. "I love you Bella Swan", the whisper was so low I could barely hear it, but I knew that he meant every word.

"Thank you" I nearly sobbed, he looked up into my eyes, and with his eyes still boring holes into mine he leaned forward and kissed me lightly on the corner of my mouth, I moved my head to the side and he planted a kiss on my lips, light, but firm enough to make me want more. His hand went into my hair and he held the back of my head as the kiss intensified, my hair was fisted in his hand, and his other hand was on the bed as he launched himself over me, straddling me as I sat on the side of his bed, I fell back, him now on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. He held his weight above me, balancing on the two hands he had placed either side of me. Our kiss still in full swing I reached down to the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head, he pulled away from me for the slightest second to help me before crashing his lips back to mine with renewed fervour. I ran my hands down his toned chest, he was perfect, as I got to the button on his jeans my nerves suddenly hit me and I completely forgot what I was doing. And instead of just carrying on, I froze. Edward noticed immediately and pulled away from me, startled.

"What happened?" He was scared he'd done something wrong.

"Erm, I don't know. I just... forgot" I bit my lip, embarrassed.

"Forgot what babe?" He was still worried, even though he had no reason to be.

"To keep moving... I got nervous. So I just stopped. I should have carried on. I'm sorry" I reached up to pull him back to me, but he pulled even further away, I stared at him, eyes wide. Now I was worried.

"We _really _don't have to do this Bella, not if you're... nervous. Or want to stop?" I could tell by the look in his eyes that if I were to stop this now he would be devastated. But I didn't want to stop.

"No Edward. I don't want to stop. Keep going" I leaned up again to pull him back, and he, if ever so reluctantly leaned back down to me, kissing my lips and moving down my jaw bone onto my neck, I groaned ever so slightly, and I felt him smile into his kiss.

My hands smoothed over his chest again and back down to the button on his jeans. Still nervous, my hands shaking slightly, I undid the button and the fly, pushing them down his hips, and he stopped kissing me to kick them off and onto the floor. Leaving him in just his boxers. I could feel his hard length pressing into me, and I ground against him ever so slightly, and I heard him let out a low growl. That was the single most erotic sound I'd ever heard in my life.

My hands now found themselves tangled in his already dishevelled hair, pulling him into the kiss that we now found ourselves in. He pulled away again, and I immediately mourned the lack of contact. He smiled wickedly and pulled my top swiftly over my head, discarding it onto the floor.

He leaned back down to me. "You were wearing far too many clothes sweetheart" he whispered into my mouth just before he kissed me again. I think I could get used to him calling me sweetheart, I was beginning to like it. His hand traced the outline of my torso, tracing the curves of my breasts, sweeping a finger over the waistband of my skirt, tickling the sensitive skin, his forehead resting on my neck, and his breath coming heavily onto me as he watched his ministrations take place and my shudder to the last movement, a smile playing on his lips in amusement. His hand lay flat against my stomach as he pushed it up reaching one of my breasts, he kneaded it gently, letting his thumb sweep over my nipple as it hardened under his touch. I sat up slightly, letting him undo the clasp on my bra, it was obvious he'd had practice, it was done in record time and thrown onto the floor. He sat back for a second and smiled at me, taking it in. I ground against him again to get him to speed up proceedings and stop ogling me. It worked, his eyes closed tight as he obviously fought to control himself, then his eyes flew open and he started to pull my skirt down by the hem, I lifted my hips off the bed to help and soon it was off.

That left me in my panties which were now drenched, and Edward in his majorly tented boxers. I suddenly felt self conscious, and tried to move my arms slightly to cover myself up, as I felt exposed to him. He looked at me questioningly, pushing my hands away from trying to cover me up. He took one of my hands in his own and glided it over my skin, resting on one of my breasts. He made my hand start kneading my breast, and pinching and pulling at my nipple every now and again. While I did this now unaided, he moved over to my other breast, taking the nipple in his mouth and sucking lightly, he nipped and licked it, and the feelings went straight to my core. It needed attention. As if he read my mind, his hand slid down between us and started to trace the material of my panties, he groaned as he felt my wetness, moving a finger up and down the material where my arousal had soaked through.

"Edward" I whispered. I was begging. I needed him to have me or I was going to explode. He put both of his hands on my hips, hooking his fingers underneath the material and pulled them down painstakingly slowly, I even bucked my hips slightly to see if it would make it any faster. When they were finally off, I felt Edwards beautiful bronze hair on the inside of my thighs, his cold breath blowing against my core. I shuddered under this new sensation, his hands moved underneath my knees and one at a time, my legs were thrown over his shoulders, opening me up for him fully. He swiped his tongue in one swoop up the length of my folds and I whimpered. And then his tongue circled my little of bundle of nerves that was currently throbbing in need for him. I moaned his name as he carried on circling it. Then all of a sudden he took it in his mouth and began expertly sucking on it, hard, every now and again there would be a little nip or a lick that would nearly send me over the edge. I heard him moan every now and again, and I was certainly very vocal about his talents. Then, just as I was about to fall over the edge he came away from my clit. Just as I was about to complain about his lack of finish, he plunged his tongue into my entrance, causing me to moan his name loudly. I could feel the coil in my stomach tighten to the extent of pain, when I felt his hand reach up and start rubbing my clit hard, I felt that sense of euphoria wash over me and I groaned his name as I came hard for him. He groaned loudly as he pulled away, looking up at me, my chest heaving from my breathlessness.

"Oh my God Bella" He was breathless as well. I was glad it wasn't just me. "Oh my fucking GOD, I love you" he moved his hands up to either side of my shoulders and pulled himself up to be level with me. He leaned down to kiss me again, and I could taste myself slightly, but he still tasted of him. I moaned into the kiss as he started to deepen it, I could feel his length pushing into my thigh as he got into the kiss and it made me want him. No. Need him, more than ever. With the ever intensifying kiss, I slid my hand discretely in between us both and slid my hand into his boxers, and then he stopped kissing me and pulled away. I thought he was just pulling away slightly but he sat up completely, swinging his legs off me and sitting on the side of his bed.

"What did I do?" I asked worried, tucking my legs underneath me, and wrapping my arms around my knees. He turned around as if I was stupid.

"What? You didn't do anything wrong Bella!!" He was almost laughing. Like I'd said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Then why are you..." I swung my arm in his general direction, gesturing to what he was doing.

"I don't want this to be about me Bella, it's always been about me. Everything. Tonight is yours" He looked angry, but I think that was at himself, not me. He turned to me again, smiling. "Come here, sweetheart" I shuffled over to him, and he lifted me by the hips, resting me down on his lap so I was straddling him while he sat on the side of the bed. I rested my elbows on his shoulders and my hands ran through the hair on the top of his head, I looked deep into his eyes.

"You have to forgive yourself you know" I whispered, leaning down to kiss his collarbone, his head moved back slightly, his eyes closed, he was enjoying it.

"I can't..." His voice was rough, like it didn't want to come out. He was struggling. I kissed his Adam's apple and it jerked in response when he gulped and moaned.

"I could make you?" I said as seductively as possible, my arousal back and better than before. He laughed a throaty laugh, and then, while still straddling him, I pushed his chest back, making him lie down on his back on the bed. I sat astride his legs while I pulled his boxers down, releasing him. It was impressive. Very impressive indeed. He looked up at me, a glint in his eye.

"Approve Miss Swan?"

"Well. I always thought you were making up for something you lacked, but I can tell now that I was completely wrong!" I laughed and he joined me. I smoothed my hands over his abs, working my way down when his hand grabbed mine.

"I meant it. I don't want you to do it. Not now." His eyes pleaded with me. So I looked up at him and nodded. I leant down to kiss him lightly and he responded, his hands resting on my hips as I found myself grinding against him trying to find that friction I desperately needed. I moved down his body a bit and pulled away from the kiss. I lifted my hips up and looked at him.

"Bella stop! Wait!" He almost shouted. I hung my head in frustration. I thought he wanted this?

"What is it Edward?" I said sweeping my hair out of my eyes to glare at him. One hand still on my hip, he leaned over the bed and opened a drawer, pulling out a condom.

"Let's do it right, yeah?" He smiled apologetically. He'd been with A LOT of girls, this was probably a good idea. I nodded with a smile, and opened the packet, sliding it onto his throbbing member, his eyes closed tightly at my touch.

And then before he could stop me, again, I lowered myself onto him.

"Urgh" We groaned in unison. Oh my God this was good, we hadn't even started yet. I was already getting the tightening in my stomach. His hands still gripping my hips tightly, I grinded against him slowly, loving the feeling of him inside me. I could feel my walls tight around his length, milking him.

"Bella" He whispered with need, I looked down at him, his eyes black with lust, "Bella..." I ground against him harder and faster, feeling the sweat starting to form on my forehead and back. I was so hot, like I was in an oven. He pulled my hips even closer towards him and rolled us over, holding himself above me and pushed himself in with force, causing me to call out his name loudly.

I knew I wouldn't last much longer, but Edward had been kept waiting without release for too long. He would be even closer, I reached down to make myself come faster, I was aiming for my little bundle of nerves that I could feel throbbing in anticipation, but Edward spotted me.

"Bella..." He was breathless, talking in between thrusts, "Don't... you dare". I closed my eyes and nodded, my head pushing back into the duvet in need.

"Please Edward" I begged, "You do it, please"

He smiled wickedly at me and brought his fingers up to his mouth and licked them for me to see. Then his hand worked its way down, and his wet fingers started playing with my bundle of nerves, making my walls clench around him. We both moaned.

"I love you" I whispered, leaning up to kiss him as he was furiously pumping and rubbing. My hands grabbed his arms as he pushed me over the edge.

"Ungh, Edward! Fucking Hell!"

I heard him moan, almost a whimper really, as I clenched tightly around him as I came. He pushed into me a few more times before coming.

"Bella!" He grunted and leaned down to kiss me hard as he rode his orgasm out.

He turned us both onto our sides, still in me, and held me in his arms tightly.

"I'm not letting you go now" he whispered into my ear before laughing and kissing the hollow behind my ear.

"I'm not complaining" I smiled as he rested his head in the crook of my neck.

We lay like that for a while before it started to get uncomfortable so he let go of me and pulled himself out of me, getting out of bed to sort himself out. I lay in bed looking at him, he was magnificent, and I was still euphoric from the most amazing orgasm ever. He walked back over to the bed, smiling at me. I think he was tired, I could see it in his eyes. My eyes lazily scanned his body, his broad, muscular shoulders, his firm abs, his... talent.

"You alright there sweetheart?" He laughed as he stood in front of me. Still staring, what he said registered too late, making it obvious that he completely dazzled me. I snapped my head up and blushed.

"Um..."I couldn't think of an appropriate response. He laughed again, sitting down next to me and playing with the strands of my hair that hang around my face.

"I'm glad you approve" he whispered, leaning in to kiss me, but I pulled away dramatically, laughing.

"I think someone might get a bit big headed, I won't do it again, don't you worry about that!" He pouted slightly, so I stuck out my tongue, but he was too fast, he pounced, pushing me back down on the bed and moulding his mouth onto mine, his mouth granted me instant access so our tongues wrestled furiously while he held himself above me. I heard his phone go off on the other side of the room, I pulled away slightly, holding his head next to my neck, where he was now focussing his attention, my lips swollen and red, but definitely not complaining.

"Edward, your phone"

"Leave it" He muttered quickly, going back to kissing my jaw bone lightly with butterfly kisses, my eyes shut as I started to give into him, I threw my head back slowly into the pillow. But then I started worrying about the phone, was it one of his many conquests from the time we weren't together, when I wasn't speaking to him. Had he got into some kind of relationship with one of them? It started to bug me and I felt my hands that were still holding his head to me clench into fists, I shut my eyes tightly trying to focus on him. He obviously wasn't interested in the girl who was phoning him, but I was. When I thought that I could control it if I just stayed like this for a while, my whole body froze, again. And again, he stopped immediately.

"Bella?" His voice was husky.

"Mmm?" I don't think my voice was planning on helping me out.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He pushed himself off me and lay on the bed beside me on his side while I calmed down. But still no answer from me. I just lay there with my fists still clenched and my eyes screwed shut. "Bella, seriously, what's happened?"

I opened my eyes slowly. I'd had them shut so tight that when I opened them I got little spots of light darting around my vision.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" This was ridiculous. He was there with me, and I was worried about some girl on the phone.

"Because I was a little busy with you sweetheart" He frowned, obviously confused at my reaction to the incident.

"Who was it?"

"I don't know, I didn't look remember? It was probably Em or Jasper wondering whether they could come back to get ready for class. It _is_ 8am." He got up from the bed beside me, and walked over to his phone on the other side of the room. Of course it was them, I was ridiculous. He brought his phone over to me, showing me the missed calls screen. It was Jasper.

"Who did you think it was?" He asked, genuinely concerned about my answer.

"I thought... Well I thought that maybe one of the girls that yo-" But he cut in before I could finish.

"Bella, none of them have my number, and judging by my performance with most of them I can be pretty certain they wouldn't try and contact me again!" He laughed, he seemed almost embarrassed. But why would he be embarrassed? Judging on his 'performance' with me, I can't imagine what anybody would ever have to complain about. Other than his reluctance to let me touch him. I looked at him questioningly, an eyebrow cocked in anticipation.

He rubbed the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"Look, Bella. I wasn't in a good place, you know?" He sat down next to me on the bed, pulling the comforter up over us both and pulled me into him, leaning my head on his chest. I guessed he didn't want to see the reaction spread across my face, or he didn't want to look at me when he admitted whatever this was.

"These girls, I don't even remember them. But when we would get back to their room, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And... Well-" He was finding this difficult, I shouldn't have made him tell me, it was selfish of me. I was about to tell him to stop when he started again.

"It's not that I couldn't perform... Jesus, that would be even worse!" He laughed slightly, which made me laugh as well. He stroked my hair as he continued, "It's just, well, my mind was elsewhere. And while we were... well you know. I would suddenly realise it wasn't you and just stop, I'd leave without telling them why or anything. I think a lot of girls on campus had to take care of themselves after a night with me!" He laughed again. But I pulled back to look at him.

"What about the ones you did stay to finish?"

"This is gonna sound _really _stalkerish Bella." He looked at me, embarrassed again. I nodded and leaned in to kiss him chastely on the lips. He smiled weakly and continued. "Well, I found that if I thought about you the whole time... well, I could..."

"Oh" I frowned.

"Was that too weird for you? I shouldn't have told you"

"No it's not that. But when I was with James... I kept thinking it was you" He looked up at me, a pained expression in his eyes, obviously starting to feel guilty again, but he needed to know. "But he was too rough, I knew it wasn't you. But I wanted you" Anger seemed to wash over him at that point and he grabbed my shoulders tightly, not hard enough to hurt but it was verging on it.

"Bella, did he hurt you? If he hurt you just because you were looking for a way of getting past being with me then I'll never forgive myself" It looked like he might cry.

"No Edward, he didn't hurt me" He let go of a breath he had obviously been holding. "There were a few bruises but I'd told him to hold me harder, I was angry at myself that night, I needed it".

He just nodded, obviously understanding what I was saying.

"I knew you wouldn't have been like that with me. I sensed it would have been different with you. That's what upset me. With you it would have meant something, I wouldn't have had to..." I couldn't finish the sentence, he'd pushed me back down onto the bed kissing me hard again, all the emotion of me retelling the night with James being pushed out into this kiss. Showing me that he was definitely different from James. But then his phone rang again. He pulled back.

"Would you like me to answer it?" He smiled. I nodded in response, slowly, smiling, and he slid his finger across the screen to answer.

"Jazz hey" He said casually, leaning down to kiss me lightly on the lips while he listened to Jasper.

"Erm, yeah... I guess you have to don't you? Uh... Give me 5 minutes yeah?" I looked up at him in anticipation, as he started to get off the bed, gathering my clothes for me and putting them on the bed. I got the hint and quickly changed into them. I went in search of my panties, which he hadn't put on the bed. I walked around the room, looking in all the places they could have been. Edward still talking to Jasper on the phone quietly, while also getting changed, watched me, an amused expression across his face. He whistled quietly to get my attention, I turned around quickly to look at him and he held my panties from one of his fingers, a huge smile on his face. He mumbled something to Jasper, staring at me while he spoke. I walked over to get them from him, but he shook his head, walking over to his bedside table and stuffed the panties in the drawer. He was keeping them? I looked at him with an eyebrow cocked. He pointed to himself and mouthed 'mine' to me, laughing silently, before responding to Jasper, obviously a little too late as he now look flustered and was trying to catch up with the conversation. Still staring at me, I gestured to myself, head to toe, and then whispered, "yours" to him, with a grin, as I went over to his drawer to pull out my panties, but I heard him say goodbye to Jasper as he rushed over to me.

"No no Bella, these are mine" He grinned and shut the drawer again. I stared at him in disbelief, then laughed. He pushed me back down onto the bed and started kissing me, my panties still in the drawer. I suppose I could let him keep them. After another mind blowing kiss, he pulled back from me, standing up. I was lying on the bed, dazed. "They'll be back in like 2 seconds, you staying?" I sensed that he didn't want me to leave, but he looked nervous.

"Do you want me to?"

"Well... yeah I do Bella"

I sat up on the bed, propping myself up on my elbows. "I'll stay then", he grinned and then the door flung open, swinging back and banging against the wall. Emmett almost ran in.

"Look Jasper. It _is _her!" he boomed.


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV

When I left her building I just went running, I needed to think, and I needed to exhaust myself, I just ran and ran and ran. Would she want to see me after reading the letter? I put her diary in the envelope with the letter so that she could finally have it back after all these years. I checked my phone every 5 minutes to check for texts or calls but I found nothing. I don't know how long I had been running when I saw her sitting on a bench, our bench in fact, where we had our first kiss. She was crying, and out of breath, something had happened to her, but I had no idea what. I stopped running, but walked quickly towards her. She looked up to see me, I knelt down next to her, careful not to touch her, she probably wouldn't want that. But she didn't say anything or even look at me. I grasped her shoulders and shouted, what had happened to her? I was so worried she'd been mugged or attacked that I hardly even noticed when she finally spoke.

"Edward... I didn't know where..." she could hardly speak through the tears and the ragged breathing, but she lurched forward, grabbing my face and kissing me. My head was urging me to kiss her back, but that wasn't right, I needed to talk to her. Reluctantly I pushed her away, forcing more tears from her.

"Bella, what are you doing? Why are you doing this?" She was clearly delusional, she would regret this later, I couldn't let it happen. But then she told me she loved me. And then when she said she'd slept with James because she thought I would regret sleeping with her when I found out who she really was I nearly died inside. She slept with that asshole because she wanted me too much, because she was afraid of my reaction.

She was trying to tell me that she'd forgiven me. But I couldn't do that. I'd ruined her life, and so I'd ruined any chance of ever being with her. But she loved me. And I loved her. I told her that I didn't deserve her forgiveness, or her love, but she burst into tears, saying that I'd told her I'd loved her in the letter. I had. And I meant it.

She begged me to love her. To let her love me. But how could I do that knowing what I was? Knowing what I'd done to her?

"I don't know how Bella"

And then she kissed me again. And I couldn't stop myself from giving her everything she wanted. From now on everything would be about her, she would get everything she wanted. As I kissed her I thought back to how I'd been picturing the reunion with little Bella Swan from Forks High, this was definitely not how I'd imagined it. This kiss was incredible, intense and indescribable. And I...

I pulled back from her, she looked a little startled.

"I haven't said it"

"Said what?" She looked breathless, like she'd run a marathon.

"I love you Bella Swan!" She laughed, "You have to say it back!" And she did, she loved me, but she didn't say it loud enough. When she refused to say it again I kissed her, this time the force between us was amazing, our desire for each other burning in the kiss. I'd never felt anything like it. Forgetting where we were, my hand skimmed up her leg, but she pulled away, smiling, an eyebrow cocked in amusement.

"Really? Outside?" She laughed.

"Whatever it takes remember?!" I smiled at her, using my old catchphrase that she had inspired on that first night, "Where do you want to go?" I whispered, I needed her.

"Well Edward... I really fancy some sleep actually" She had to be joking, maybe she wasn't, but she had to be... right?

"Oh!" I leant away from her, looking deep into her eyes. "If you were wanting to wait, I'd completely understand", but I fucking hoped she wouldn't want to, I couldn't stand not having her for another night.

"Shut up Edward!" she said, taking a swipe to slap my chest playfully, but I caught her hand, I kissed each of her fingers in turn, looking up at her as she continued. "But I haven't slept much. And I thought that maybe... When Angela goes to class..." Oh my god yes, she did want me. But I couldn't wait until Angela went to class, that was hours away, it was still ridiculously early in the morning. But, Emmett, Jasper and I had this code for when we wanted to bring a girl back, and the others would leave, usually it would be Em and Jasper using it, as I never invited girls back. Apart from the exchange student on her last night, there was no way she would come searching for me. But I could definitely use it tonight.

I stood up, pulling Bella's hand to stand up in front of me, I wrapped my arms around her waist, I wanted her right there, but that obviously wasn't a good idea, I would get arrested. I leaned down to whisper into her ear, "I can get Emmett and Jazz to leave right. This. Second." And then I kissed her on the nose. She nodded at me, so we started walking, hand in hand back to my building.

I had to break our embrace as I began busily texting Jasper. I knew that he would look at his phone if it went off at this time of the morning, whereas Emmett would be likely to ignore it.

_J, SOC, wud u 2 mind a bit of privacy? Soz for late notice, and time of the morning obv! –E_

'SOC' Sex on the Cards, in our language, usually it was all we needed to put in a text, but I felt that time of the morning and the inconvenience would need a bit of an apology. Although I knew Jasper wouldn't complain, not to my face anyway. I got a reply a few minutes later.

_E this better be worth it. We'll go to A&R's, we'll be back to get ready for class at 8.30 –J_

I smiled at the text, Jasper was so understanding about everything, he probably thought this was just another college tramp, but oh how wrong he was.

_J I love you dude. You have no idea –E_

I put my phone back in my pocket and looked at Bella, but she was just staring straight ahead. Maybe she'd changed her mind, she looked scared. I suddenly got really nervous, this _had_ to go well, nothing could go wrong or it would all be over.

We got to my building and climbed the stairs, we stood in front of my door while I pulled my keys from my pocket, letting her in before I followed in after her. She asked me how I got them to leave, and when I told her about the code she looked confused, but kind of hurt. I explained to her that the guys used it as well, not just me. She didn't seem convinced. Maybe she really didn't want to do this. I asked her and she was adamant that she wanted to, but she was a little worried that Emmett and Jasper would know what we were doing. I laughed, I'd never really thought about it like that before.

I pulled her over to the bed, and we sat on the edge, I brought my hand up to her face and ghosted down her body, she had the softest skin, it was irresistible. I cupped her chin and leaned into her. "I love you Bella Swan" I whispered in her ear, she murmured a thank you back to me, and I kissed her gently, but it was intensifying with every second, my hand that was resting next to her balanced me as I lifted myself up and over her, making her lie back on the bed so I could kiss her more deeply and get everything moving in the right direction. I felt her hands moving down to the hem of my shirt, she lifted it over my head and discarded it, I leant back down to kiss her. I never realised I could want someone so much as right now. I felt her hands smooth over my chest and stomach, but then instead of doing what I thought she would do she just froze, literally, not a muscle moving. I pulled away immediately, I'd done something wrong.

"What happened?"

"Erm, I don't know. I just... forgot" She bit her lip, I think she was embarrassed about something, I'm not sure though. It could still be something I'd done.

"Forgot what babe?"

"To keep moving... I got nervous. So I just stopped. I should have carried on. I'm sorry" She forgot to keep moving? That's not something you just forget to do, I thought she might be doing this to make me feel better, and I couldn't do that to her. She leaned up to pull me back down to kiss her, but I pulled away even further, and she looked hurt.

"We _really _don't have to do this Bella, not if you're... nervous. Or want to stop?" It was the last thing I wanted to do.

"No Edward. I don't want to stop. Keep going" She leaned up again to pull me down to her, and this time I complied, still apprehensive about what she really wanted, I kissed her jaw bone and she groaned quietly, all my worries pushed aside and I smiled. I love her.

She managed to undo the button on my jeans and pushed them down my hips, I kicked them off, going back in to kiss her. I felt her grind her hips against me and I groaned instinctively, she felt so good, I was rock hard with anticipation. She ran her hands through my hair as we kissed, but I pulled away to whip her top off quickly and throw it onto the floor, I smiled at her, whispering to her before kissing her again, I couldn't get enough of her. I ran my hand over her body, her curves, admiring them, before letting my finger do a sweep of the waistband of her skirt, I watched my hand as I did it, and laughed as she shuddered under my touch. I brought my hand back up to her breasts and started kneading one firmly, she had amazing breasts, perfect. I wanted her bra off, I needed to see them, and she seemed to read my mind, she leant forward and so I took my chance and undid the clasp, throwing the bra to the side, I sat there staring at her, she was amazing, sitting there, waiting for me to continue, but I was mesmerised by her. I felt her grind against me again, making me aware of her need for me, but in her haste she nearly pushed me over the edge, I'd forgotten just how hard I was, I shut my eyes to control myself, and once I was in control again, I opened my eyes and nearly ripped her skirt from her.

She was lying beneath me in her panties, it was an incredible sight, one I would never tire of. I wanted this girl to be with me for the rest of my life, I didn't want to ever be with anyone else. While I was thinking about our possible future, I saw her begin to look self conscious and she moved as if she was trying to cover herself up, she was mental. I got one of her hands in mine and showed her how I wanted her to touch herself, to pleasure herself. When she seemed to be doing it properly, I moved over to her other breast and began licking and sucking it, nipping it every now and again, causing moans and whimpers to escape from her perfect mouth. While continuing this my hand found its way to her panties, she would be needing a little attention by now I think. I was right, she was soaking, I groaned when I felt how wet she was for me.

She whispered my name, pleading with me. I moved away from her slightly, and put both of my hands on her hips, pulling her panties down slowly. I had to do it slowly, or I would come and it would all be over before it had begun. When they were off I worked my way towards her wet centre, I could smell her strong sex, it was mind bending. I pulled her legs over my shoulders, giving me more room to explore where she wanted me most. I took one long lick, and I heard her whimper. I smiled, my tongue circled around her clit, it was throbbing for me, so I took it in my mouth, and sucked hard, with every movement of my mouth or tongue she would grind slowly against me, causing me to groan in pleasure. I wanted her so much. I couldn't keep this up much longer, she was going to have to come. I removed my tongue from her clit and heard her sigh heavily in frustration, but I plunged my tongue into her centre. Into where I would take her in a minute, she moaned my name loudly, and I knew she was close, so I began rubbing her clit hard while I continued to let my tongue probe in and out of her firmly, and then I felt her walls tighten around my tongue and she came. I looked up at her while she rode it out, it was incredible, this angel was coming and I made it happen. She was perfect in every way, and hopefully, she was mine, from tonight, for the rest of my life.

"Oh my God Bella, Oh my fucking GOD, I love you" I was breathless, and I was in desperate need of her. I pushed myself up the bed to be level with her, holding myself above her, I kissed her, and she moaned into my mouth, causing the vibrations to run through me. I suddenly felt her hand move down between us, pulling the waistband of my boxers away to put her hand inside, but I pulled away completely, I moved off from her and sat on the side of the bed. I couldn't have her doing that, I wanted so much to let her do it, believe me, I needed it. But tonight wasn't about her pleasing me, I had to make it up to her. I would be making it up to her for the rest of my life, but tonight had to be all about her. She asked me what she'd done wrong, I turned to look at her, she looked worried, she was curled up, her arms hugging her knees. I'd forgotten she wouldn't understand why I did that, but how could she think she'd done anything wrong? Silly, beautiful, Bella. I explained my actions to her.

"I don't want this to be about me Bella, it's always been about me. Everything. Tonight is yours", I was frustrated with myself, for my past, for the way I'd behaved with Bella, and every other girl I'd ever encountered. I turned to face her, she looked worried, rejected almost. I smiled soothingly, "Come here sweetheart". I pulled her to me and rested her on my lap, straddling me, she rested her elbows on my shoulders and played with my hair, it was so relaxing, I could sit with her like this forever and not get tired of it. She looked into my eyes like she could see everything I was thinking.

"You have to forgive yourself you know", she whispered, then leaned down to kiss along my collarbone, my head threw back slowly. I really needed a release, she was driving me crazy. But I can't forgive myself for what I did to her, why couldn't she see that?

"I can't..." I started, desperately trying to complete a sentence without throwing her back onto the bed and taking her. She kissed my Adam's apple as my head was still thrown back, and I swallowed hard, controlling myself. Then she said perhaps the only thing in the world that could make me forget my past for just a while.

"I could make you?" She whispered it in a low voice, obviously trying to sound seductive, but she really didn't need to, I would have let her anyway. I laughed at my lack of control over the situation, and she pushed me back so I was lying on the bed, her straddling my legs, she took my boxers off, she took it all in for a second, I studied her face as she turned around to face me again.

"Approve Miss Swan?" I wanted to laugh, but instead cocked an amused eyebrow at her, and she laughed.

"Well. I always thought you were making up for something you lacked, but I can tell now that I was completely wrong!" I laughed with her, only she could make a joke about something like this. After all I'd done and she could still joke about it. Then I felt her work her way down my stomach again, I really wanted to let her continue, I was desperate to release my load, but not this way. Not the first time. I grabbed her hand to stop her and she huffed.

"I meant it. I don't want you to do it. Not now." She nodded to me lightly and leant down to kiss me, I put my hands on her hips while we kissed deeply, and she started grinding against me again, obviously wanting more, just like me. She moved her hips up my body, her centre now hovering over my hardened length, she looked at me, ready to go, and then I remembered. I shouted at her to stop, she seemed to be angry, or frustrated, and I wasn't surprised. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and gave me a death stare, it was kind of cute to be honest. Bella needed to know that I had respect for her, I wasn't expecting anything from her that she didn't want, so I showed this by 'do it right', as I put it. Grabbing a condom from my drawer and handing it to her, she rolled it onto me, and I shut my eyes tightly, enjoying the first of her touches to my member.

Before I even had time to register she had lowered herself onto me and we both groaned at the contact, she was tight, so tight. I felt her walls clench around me tightly at the first contact, my hands that were still on her hips gripped her even harder while she grinded against me, I shut my eyes tightly while she lifted herself up and down on my length, letting her set her own pace. I needed this, I needed her, I whispered her name hoarsely and I struggled to form coherent sentences, her name was all that was on my mind. She started to move faster, pushing me into her deeper and harder, she felt so good on me, it felt right, like it was where I belonged, that all my life I'd been working up to this moment.

I pulled her closer to me, and rolled us over, so that I was on top of her, she couldn't do all of the work after all. I pushed myself into her firmly, causing her to whimper slightly, she met each of my thrusts, sweat pouring from us both as we pushed each other as far as we could. I saw her start to squirm, I couldn't work out what she was doing, but then I saw her hand smoothing down her stomach. She needed more, but I would give her more, she would never need to worry about that.

"Bella..." I was breathless, and trying to concentrate on keeping up the momentum that had gathered, "Don't...you dare" Her hand pulled away and her head threw back onto the bed, her eyes clenched tight. She begged me to do it for her, to make her come. So I smiled at her and licked my fingers for her to see, then started to rub her clit hard, still trying to keep up momentum with my thrusts. The wetness of my fingers hopefully would give Bella a different sensation, and it seemed to be working. Her walls clenched around my member tightly and I moaned just before she whispered she loved me and leaned up to kiss me while I continued my efforts. I needed her to come quickly, I wouldn't last much longer. She grabbed my arms tightly and shouted my name as she came, spasming around me, I couldn't hold much longer, a few more thrusts and I fell off the edge, calling her name as I came, kissing her as I came down from my high.

I turned us so that we were both lying on our sides. I couldn't quite bring myself to pull out of her yet. I needed that contact with her, so I pulled her into me and held her tightly.

"I'm not letting you go now" I whispered to her and kissed the hollow behind her ear, she sighed heavily. I rested my head in the crook of her neck, not wanting to be away from my Bella.

"I'm not complaining" She smiled. I hoped I would never give her a reason to complain again.

After a while I pulled out of her and got out of bed to sort myself out, not something she necessarily needed to see. But as I walked back over to her, I saw her staring at me, like she was dazed, I smiled at her but her eyes were elsewhere, not really paying attention, she was checking me out!

"You alright there sweetheart?" I laughed as it took her a few seconds to register that I had noticed her, she snapped her head up, blushing. She was embarrassed. She obviously didn't know how much practice guys got at staring discretely. She didn't say anything in response, I sat down next to her, moving strands of hair from her eyes.

"I'm glad you approve" I whispered, leaning in to kiss her, but she pulled away, laughing.

"I think someone might get a bit big headed, I won't do it again, don't you worry about that!" I pouted at her reaction, she stuck out her tongue at me, and I practically leapt up onto her, pushing her down onto the bed and kissing her hard. I was completely immersed in the kiss when she pulled away from me, she grabbed the back of my head, leading me to her neck, where I complied and lavished her neck with all the attention it deserved.

"Edward, your phone" She said hoarsely, I hadn't even noticed it ringing, it would just be Jasper, he knew what was going on, I couldn't seem to pull myself away from Bella though, he would understand. So I told her to leave it, still kissing her neck. I felt her start to stiffen underneath me but felt nothing of it until she completely froze again, not moving. Every muscle stiff, I pulled away again, but not worried that I'd hurt her this time.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?" Something was up. I'm not sure she wanted to tell me though.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I climbed off her and lay next to her on the bed facing her, she had her eyes screwed shut, fists clenched, I started to worry. "Bella, seriously, what's happened?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Why was she worried about me answering my phone? I was totally confused.

"Because I was a little busy with you sweetheart"

"Who was it?" That came out a little harsh, she probably didn't mean it though.

"I don't know, I didn't look remember? It was probably Em or Jasper wondering whether they could come back to get ready for class. It _is_ 8am." I got up from the bed walking over to my phone to pick it up. It was obviously bothering her, I had no idea why, but it was obviously something that needed to be dealt with. I looked at my missed calls and saw that it was Jasper, I walked back over to her and showed her the screen, her face gave away her embarrassment, but there was another emotion there, relief maybe?

"Who did you think it was?"

"I thought... Well I thought that maybe one of the girls that yo-" Oh no she doesn't think it was...

"Bella, none of them have my number, and judging by my performance with most of them I can be pretty certain they wouldn't try and contact me again!" I laughed, I had not been on top form since starting College, the reason girls were talking about me in Bella and Angela's class I'm sure wasn't complimentary. She looked at me, an eyebrow cocked.

"Look, Bella. I wasn't in a good place, you know?" I pulled her into me, hoping she would realise there was nothing to worry about. I hadn't planned on having this conversation with her.

"These girls, I don't even remember them. But when we would get back to their room, I couldn't stop thinking about you. And... Well-" Oh my God this was going to be so embarrassing.

"It's not that I couldn't perform... Jesus, that would be even worse! It's just, well, my mind was elsewhere. And while we were... well you know. I would suddenly realise it wasn't you and just stop, I'd leave without telling them why or anything. I think a lot of girls on campus had to take care of themselves after a night with me!" I laughed at the thought of the many girls I left completely frustrated, I know it shouldn't have been funny, but the thought of it made me laugh. Bella pulled away from me, staring at me.

"What about the ones you did stay to finish?"

"This is gonna sound _really _stalkerish Bella." Why did she have to ask that? She leaned up to kiss me quickly on the lips, it didn't halt my embarrassment. "Well, I found that if I thought about you the whole time... well, I could..."

"Oh", she frowned, I knew she wouldn't like this conversation. Why couldn't I lie to her, this would have gone so much easier!

"Was that too weird for you? I shouldn't have told you"

"No it's not that. But when I was with James... I kept thinking it was you, but he was too rough, I knew it wasn't you. But I wanted you" I couldn't stand the thought of that leech hurting Bella, because she never wanted him, she wanted me, but thought I wouldn't want her. And he was rough with her, if her hurt her...

"Bella, did he hurt you? If he hurt you just because you were looking for a way of getting past being with me then I'll never forgive myself" I was so angry I thought I might explode.

"No Edward, he didn't hurt me" I breathed heavily. "There were a few bruises but I'd told him to hold me harder, I was angry at myself that night, I needed it".

I nodded, I had no idea what she meant, he'd bruised her. He'd marked my Bella, I nodded so that I wouldn't go and hunt down the asshole.

"I knew you wouldn't have been like that with me. I sensed it would have been different with you. That's what upset me. With you it would have meant something, I wouldn't have had to..." I couldn't hear anymore, I wasn't like James, and he definitely was no substitute. I pushed her back kissing her firmly but gently, showing her how different I was. My phone rang again, this time I heard it before she could say anything, I pulled away from her, smiling.

"Would you like me to answer it?" She nodded and so I answered it, "Jazz hey"

"_Edward, are you done? We need to get back to get ready" _While he was talking I leaned down to kiss Bella, smiling, only half concentrating on Jasper.

"Erm, yeah... I guess you have to don't you? Uh... Give me 5 minutes yeah?"

Bella looked up at me, I got up from the bed, picking up the clothes from the floor and putting them on the bed, Bella got up and got dressed into them.

"_Is it Bella Edward? I know you wouldn't bring anyone else back to the room"_

I quickly mumbled yes to him as I pulled some of my own clothes on. I looked over to Bella who was searching for something, and then I spotted what she was looking for draped across the back of the chair, I picked them up, still watching her frantically searching, then I heard Jasper again.

"_Edward?"_

"What sorry?

"_Is everything ok with Bella?"_

I didn't answer, I was completely mesmerised by the girl walking around my bedroom, I smiled and whistled quietly at her to get her to look at me. She turned and looked as I swung her panties from my finger, smiling.

"_Everything's great Jazz" _I said still staring at her, she walked over to get them from me, but I shook my head and put them in the top drawer of my bedside cabinet. She cocked an eyebrow at me, and I mouthed 'mine' to her, laughing slightly, and then I heard another frustrated voice on the phone.

"_EDWARD!"_

I'd completely forgotten to listen to him.

"Dude I'm sorry, what?"

"_You're so distracted this morning! We'll be back in a couple of minutes ok?"_

I watched as Bella gestured to herself and mouthed 'yours' to me. Oh god I hoped she was being serious, I would give anything to have this girl forever. She walked over to my bedside cabinet, obviously thinking that it was some kind of exchange. Oh no she doesn't.

"Yeah, see you in a bit" I said quickly and hung up. I was much more interested in Bella than in a phone conversation with Jasper. I rushed over to her, shutting the drawer she had just opened.

"No no Bella, these are mine" I grinned but she just stared at me, and then she laughed, I pushed her back onto the bed again, kissing her, a worthy exchange for the panties. But I wasn't too keen on being caught by Jasper and Emmett just yet, I pulled away and stood up. Bella still on the bed, where I hoped she would stay, at least for a bit. Classes weren't important today. "They'll be back in like 2 seconds, you staying?" I wanted her to say yes, my eyes begged her to stay.

"Do you want me to?" She was still lying on the bed, looking understandably dishevelled.

"Well... yeah I do Bella"

She sat up, leaning on her elbows. "I'll stay then", she grinned at me again and I was about to lean down and kiss her again to say thank you but the door opened suddenly, Emmett was back.

"Look Jasper. It _is _her!" he boomed.

"Yes I know that Emmett. I told you remember?" Jasper rolled his eyes dramatically.

"No Jazz, I mean, it's Bella Swan. From school... the one with the diary!" He grinned at Bella, and I snapped my head to her, she winced slightly at the memory, fucking Emmett, he could ruin this for me now, just with one fucking sentence.

"Shut the _FUCK_ up Emmett!" I shouted, startling him, Jasper and Bella, who was now sitting up on the edge of my bed.

"Edward..." Bella stood up and tried to grab my hand, I jerked away violently, I didn't mean to be so harsh, I was just angry. But Bella looked hurt, I turned to her, and took her hand in mine gently to say sorry, she smiled weakly, looking into my eyes. "Edward, don't worry", I winced as she seemed to be so accepting of my asshole best friend and so able to forgive everything.

I turned to glare at Emmett. "Dude I'm sorry, didn't know how else to get Jazz to remember, you know what he's like!" He looked pretty sincere, it wasn't very often I shouted at Emmett, and when I did he knew he'd seriously pissed me off.

"Bella... I'm sorry... we shouldn't have..." Jasper started, I knew Bella wouldn't let him apologise, she tried to pull her hand away from mine to go over to him, but I just held her tighter, I didn't want to let her go. She turned to look at me, an eyebrow cocked in annoyance, and yanked her hand. I reluctantly let go, and she smiled at me.

"Jasper, please don't apologise. I don't mind anymore. No more apologies ok?" He nodded and they both smiled at each other.

"Bella, I'm not going to apologise, because I know you don't want us to." I glared at Emmett who was smiling at Bella wickedly, "I'd just like to say, that if I knew you were going to be so fucking hot I would have totally stopped him and taken you out!" Bella laughed, and I walked towards Emmett threateningly. Bella's hand reached out and stopped me, her hand stroking my chest lightly, soothing me instantly.

"Thank you Emmett" Bella said, still giggling.

"Can you two please just get ready and go?" I said impatiently through gritted teeth. They both nodded and hurried around the room, grabbing bags, running in and out of the bathroom and checking emails.

Bella had gone back to my bed and sat down while I checked some emails of my own.

"What are you two gonna do today Bella?" Emmett said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I turned to Emmett and scowled, but he turned back to Bella, who was laughing. He wasn't funny, why did she keep laughing at him?

"We're going to play checkers..." Bella remarked sarcastically, and glanced at me, a little spark in her eyes, it made me smile.

"Is that what they're calling it now then?" Emmett laughed.

"Go Emmett!" I shouted getting up and pushing him towards the door while he and Bella laughed at my slight over reaction, Jasper quickly followed out of the door, politely saying goodbye to myself and Bella.

I shut the door behind them and stared at Bella.

"Emmett's not funny" I stated coldly.

"Oh Edward come on! He is _quite _funny!" She was still laughing.

"No he's not. He's making out like we're some kind of joke!" I was angry, she didn't notice how insensitive he was. "And the way he just blurted out to Jasper who you were..."

"Edward, just forget it" She stood up, walking over to me and putting her hands around my neck, pulling me down to her to calm me down, "Do you need me to get you to forget?" She whispered, kissing me lightly on the lips. I smiled at her.

"I was considering some checkers actually..." She laughed, pulling me by the hand back to the bed.


	9. Chapter 9

BPOV

When Emmett had burst through the door, Edward had immediately stiffened, like he was ready for a fight. But Emmett wasn't that bad I'm sure, what was the worst he could say?

When he reminded Jasper of who I was, I almost laughed at his description, "The one with the diary". But when I saw Edward's face I quickly changed my mind, he shouted at Emmett, and I mean _really _shouted, I'd never heard anything like it.

I stood up, and took his hand lightly to calm him down but he pulled away so violently I nearly fell back onto the bed. It looked like he instantly regretted it though as he reached for my hand and smiled apologetically, he knew he'd overreacted, but he'd scared me with the violence, I smiled back weakly, and told him not to worry. He seemed to calm down slightly, but I knew he was still angry.

Emmett apologised to Edward, and then Jasper attempted to apologise to me, but I didn't want to hear it. If I was able to forgive Edward, I could definitely forgive his friends. I tried to break free of Edward's hand but he held me tighter, not letting me go, suddenly getting possessive. I turned around and glared at him, and pulled my arm away so hard it nearly came out of its socket. I walked over to Jasper and told him not to apologise anymore, Emmett then annoyed Edward again by making a joke about me being hot. Edward told them both to get ready for class and go, I had to restrain him from hitting Emmett, hoping that the simple gesture of my hand on his chest would calm him, so when they both suddenly went to get ready he pulled away from me and went to sit in front of his laptop.

I sat on his bed, just looking around the room a bit. I'd not managed to do it earlier surprisingly, I was still scanning the details when Emmett made another joke, once again annoying Edward. I was never one for the possessive boyfriend thing. I would have to have a word with him about it, but not quite yet. He pushed Emmett out of the room, and Jasper followed quietly saying goodbye to us both. I stood up and walked over to calm him down once again, but it didn't work, he was annoyed about the way Emmett had acted, and didn't understand how I could be so calm about it.

I could think of only one way to distract him. It worked.

A while later he was lying on his back in bed, I was draped over him, totally exhausted. No sleep, plus what we just did, equals exhaustion. He was playing lazily with my hair while my eyes started to close.

"Bella...?" He whispered, I was really too tired to talk, I couldn't have a conversation now. I hoped he would think I was asleep and leave me. He shifted underneath me and moved me so that I was now lying on the bed, not touching him, and he got out of bed. I couldn't pay too much attention to what he was doing but it sounded like he was pacing the room, texting maybe? I wasn't sure.

When I woke up later, he was sat at the end of the bed, looking at me with his beautiful eyes, I couldn't help but smile. I pushed my hair out of my eyes and stretched, yawning, what a beautiful sight I must have been!

"Ah, she's awake!" Edward said with an amused smile.

"Hello Edward" I scowled slightly at him.

"Did I wear you out sweetheart?" He laughed now, I blushed slightly, glaring at him.

"I had no sleep last night! And I'll have you know, stress can cause exhaustion!" I waved my hands around, desperately trying to make my point but it only made him laugh more.

He got up to kneel on the bed and crawled up the bed to be next to me, he stroked my cheek lightly, running his hand down my neck every couple of seconds, he smiled a blinding smile.

"I know what else causes exhaustion" He said suggestively, leaning down to kiss me, tilting my face up to his. It was a light kiss, the tip of his tongue probing my lips for entrance, but instead of granting it, I took his bottom lip between my teeth and lightly pulled, his tongue found my top lip and traced it lightly while he groaned slightly. I let go of his lip and pulled away slightly, his hand pulled me back, leaning to kiss along my jaw bone, I pushed his head away from mine lightly, laughing.

"I need to get back actually Edward..."

"You're funny Bella" He said between kisses, but when I didn't respond, he pulled away totally, straightening up, still kneeling on the bed beside me. "You're being serious aren't you?" I nodded at him, but he didn't look happy, he looked kind of rejected. "You can't just do..." He waved his hand in my general direction, I guess he was indicating the almost kiss, "that... and then leave!"

"I'm not just leaving Edward, I need to let Angela know I'm alive, and I'd quite like some fresh clothes!" I tried to say it lightly but his face didn't budge from utter annoyance.

"Fine" He got up and backed away from the bed, I got up and walked over to him, resting my hands on his shoulders, pulling myself closer to him to kiss him, he didn't lean down to close the distance.

"Edward... I look much more attractive when I'm clean..." A smile played on his lips but he obviously didn't want to let it show, he leant down and pecked me on the lips chastely.

"Call me when you want to see me"

"Edward, it's not that I don't want to see you..." He held one hand up to stop me talking.

"Just promise me you'll call?" His voice sounded strained, his hands wound around my waist as if he were afraid I would run away.

"Of course I will, as soon, as I'm done" I promised and kissed him again, before unwinding myself from his arms, gathering my stuff and heading for the door. "I love you Edward Cullen", I said as I stood in the doorway, about to shut the door. He looked at me with an unrecognisable expression.

"I love you Bella", I shut the door behind me, shaking my head in confusion at his sudden mood swing.

When I got back to my building, Angela had gone to class, I knew she would lend me her notes so I wasn't too worried about that. I headed for the shower and got myself washed and dressed, pulling my hair up into a messy bun.

I did a bit of work that I had left for far too long and emailed it to my tutor, with a quick explanation for why I wasn't in class. Lying is so much easier online! I checked my phone to see a missed call from Alice. She must have heard about Edward and me. I pressed her number to call her back and she answered immediately, catching me off guard.

"_Why didn't you just say something?!"_

"Hello Alice" I laughed.

"_Seriously Bella, what did you think we would say?!"_

"Well it doesn't matter now does it? I'm sorry though ok?"

"_No it's not ok. I like to tell the gossip, and I had to hear from Jasper and Emmett of all people! The shame Bella, you don't understand!"_

"I wasn't thinking Alice, how will you ever forgive me?!" I said sarcastically.

"_Well...actually, you could come out with everyone tonight? I've missed you so much Bells!"_

"I'm not sure what Edwa-"

"_Edward will do whatever I tell him to do, I'll call him and tell him!"_

"No Alice, I'll call him, he's being a little weird today, let me deal with him", I wasn't sure if he was over his little mood from earlier. It was probably best that I ring him.

"_Uh, fine! You're gonna come out tonight though yes?"_

"Yes Alice I'll be there"

"_Good, we'll be in the bar. About 9, I'll be expecting you!"_

"Ok Alice, bye."

"_Bye Bella!"_

I ended the call and immediately called Edward who picked up in one ring.

"_Hi Bella" _He sounded relieved.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"_I'm fine, why? Are you ok?"_

"Yeah I'm fine Edward, you just seemed a little... well I don't know really, when I left earlier"

"_Um, yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't sure if you were going to come back"_

"What do I have to do to prove it to you Edward?"

"_I don't know, I just... I don't know. I think I might ruin this Bella"_

"I won't let you Edward, now, come to mine please, I want to discuss our plans for this evening"

"_We have plans?"_

"We do yes. I'll see you in a bit." I hung up, hoping he was on his way over now.

I tidied up a bit, putting clothes and work where it all should be, when I heard him knock on my door. I rushed over to it and pulled it open, he was standing there looking devilishly beautiful. He smiled and leant down to take me in his arms and lift me up and walk me into the room, shutting the door with his ass and kissing me. I pushed him away laughing.

"Tonight..." I started. He put me back down on the floor and kissed me again. I pulled away smiling again, "You don't even say hi!"

"Hi" he whispered, leaning down to kiss me again, but instead of leaning away I completely dodged him, stepping away from him. He glared at me, and sighed. "Tonight...?"

I sat down on my bed and he sat himself down beside me, turning his body to face me. I tucked my legs underneath me and pushed stray strands of my hair behind my ears.

"Alice called me..." He winced, already annoyed.

"Really?"

"She wants me to go out with you all tonight..." He looked at me as if I was being stupid.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she asked me to go to the bar with you all..." I couldn't see where he was going with this.

"I wouldn't be going without you Bella", he whispered in a low voice, "I need you to be there".

"You _need_ me to be there?" I repeated.

"Well, if I left you alone the first night we were well... together, then what would that make me? You're my first ever girlfriend, I'm planning on taking you with me to these social gatherings!" He was almost laughing, but not quite.

"Your girlfriend?" I questioned, wondering if he'd realised he'd said it. His eyes bugged.

"Erm, is that ok? I mean... Is that what you want? I don't know how this works"

My heart almost jumped out my chest, I sat up on my legs that had been tucked under me and threw myself onto Edward, crashing my lips over his, he fell back onto the bed, laughing into the kiss, wrapping his arms around my waist as I now straddled him, my hands on the bed either side of his head, holding me up. His hands ran up and down my sides, pushing my top up, revealing my skin to him. I pulled away to breathe, desperately needing the air. I reached down to his ear, "It's exactly what I want Edward" I whispered. My hands found the hem of my shirt and started to pull it up when the door opened and I heard Angela calling my name, I spun around so quickly I fell off Edward, off the bed, and onto the floor.

Angela put her hand to her mouth. "Oh my GOD! I'm so sorry Bella, I didn't realise... I wasn't even looking when I walked in, I'll go..." She started to turn around to head out but Edward called after her.

"Angela?" She poked her head around the door again, blushing and totally embarrassed. "Angela, come in"

She walked in, just standing in the doorway. I was still on the floor, looking up at Edward who was laughing at the situation. Me on the floor and my roommate who I'm sure wished the world would just swallow her now.

"Angela, it's not a problem. We weren't... well. We..." He started confidently, but failed miserably to deliver. He didn't have that problem earlier! I stood up from my place on the floor.

"Ang, this is Edward. I know you met him the other night. But he's kind of... well..."

"You two are official yeah?" She helped me, she must have known about him before. He must have told her something, I nodded and she grinned at Edward knowingly.

"Something like that, yeah" Edward smiled back. I looked between the two of them, confused. I pointed at Angela with an eyebrow cocked.

"Did you know?"

"He told me he loved you when I met him the other night. That's why I let him come back"

"And you didn't tell me?!" I was annoyed but not shouting, I could never shout at Angela.

"She nearly did actually, I stopped her just before she had the chance" Edward explained, sitting up on my bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Sorry Bella" She smiled apologetically at me. "That's why I haven't rung you to see where you were... I kind of guessed... well... you know. But I just didn't think I would walk in on-"

"Angela" I said, trying to stop her. In a complete change of subject, she was obviously still just too embarrassed, she told me she had all my notes from the last two days that I'd missed. She explained to me that she was going to stay with Ben tonight, I had obviously missed out on a few things in my misery, and she said that Edward and I would have the room to ourselves. I looked at Edward and he had a glint in his eye, obviously. She went to go and get ready to go out and left me and Edward in the room, sitting on my bed.

"Room to ourselves tonight then... no secret codes!" I laughed at his little secret messages with the guys.

"Hmm, hopefully we can finish what was about to happen before you ended up on the floor!" He laughed and I hit him playfully, him catching my wrist and pulling me closer to kiss him. He pulled away, "What time do we have to meet the pixie?"

"9" I said, trying to pull him back to kiss me again. But he held me away, his hands on my shoulders.

"We better go then, it's 9:15, she'll be going mental"

I sighed in frustration and stomped over to get my keys and purse.

"We better get you something to eat as well, can't have you drinking on an empty stomach"

"I didn't even realise I hadn't eaten!" I exclaimed as he brushed past me, leaning on the door frame, laughing a throaty laugh.

"Well, I _have_ been keeping you pretty well occupied!"

I giggled slightly and pushed up on my tip toes, head leaned back to kiss him, but he didn't move. I gasped in mock disdain and pushed him away, laughing.

"Fine. Well, Just so you know, you won't be getting away with that! You'll regret it!"

"Ooh I'm scared now Bella!" He laughed again, and put his hand on the small of my back as I past him and walked out of the room.

We grabbed some fries on the way to the bar, and chatted and laughed all the way. I found that when Edward wasn't thinking about the past he was actually really funny, relaxed, and definitely flirty.

We got to the bar at 9:30, I hesitated slightly at the door, I hadn't seen Alice or Rosalie since the day I moved out. I knew I'd upset them both leaving without a reason, hopefully tonight I could explain, or maybe they already knew. Edward smiled sympathetically at me and squeezed my hand tightly.

"It'll be alright you know?" It was as if he could read my mind.

I nodded weakly and smiled, following him into the club, griping onto his hand for my life. I kept my head down, making sure I didn't trip, then I felt Edward pull me around him. I looked up and was met with a massive grin from Alice. She stood up excitedly and pulled me away from Edward, I let go of his hand reluctantly and sat next to Alice.

"Bella! You're late, but I'm sure I can blame Edward for that rather than you!" I just nodded, completely overwhelmed by her normality. I looked over at Edward who sat down next to Jasper on the opposite side of the table. Why was he so far away? I needed him close to me! He looked up at me and our eyes met, he looked fierce, and I looked away awkwardly. Maybe Emmett had said something to him.

Rosalie, Alice and me had a chat about everything and they seemed to understand. Rosalie said she was shocked when Emmett had told her who I really was. She seemed to be apologetic, but not as much as Edward, Emmett or Jasper. I didn't mind too much though, we were past that now. I got up to go to the bathroom, and as I stood, Edward stood too and walked over to me.

"Edward?"

"What are you doing?" A hint of suspicion in his eyes.

"Going to the bathroom... why?" He had me totally confused.

"I thought... Emmett said..."

"Edward, I _really_ need to go the bathroom. Give me a sec yeah?" He nodded and I leaned up to peck him on the lips, he smiled weakly as I rushed off.

***

EPOV

I was being completely stupid about this. Of course she was going to the bathroom. Emmett was seeing things obviously, he'd said that he saw her look at a guy up at the bar, and that they smiled at each other. He said it as if they were going to go off and meet somewhere secret, but when I asked her where she was going I felt so stupid, I knew that I should trust Bella, but I've never needed to trust a girl like this before, a girl who had a hold of my heart, I'd never given myself willingly to a girl like this before and it scared me.

I stood standing like an idiot, not moving an inch until she came back from the bathroom, smiling brightly at me.

"Edward, you could have moved or something you know?" She laughed and put her arms around my neck, I responded by wrapping my arms around her waist and taking in the scent of her hair. She looked up at me through her thick eyelashes, her big brown eyes filled with question. "Edward? What were you saying earlier about Emmett?"

Her face was perfection, innocence, she had no idea what Emmett had apparently seen, and I knew it, but I was stupid, and I had to ask her.

"Um, it was nothing really, he just said he saw a guy notice you..."

She laughed lightly, and used my neck to pull herself up closer to my face, her lips nearly touching mine. "Doesn't mean I noticed him" She smiled against my lips and pulled away slightly, as she was pulling away I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her towards me, my lips crashing down on hers in a forceful kiss to just let her know who had noticed her the most tonight. One of my hands that was still on her waist snaked round to her ass, and then I felt her swat my hand away.

"Edward, we're in public..." She smiled slyly and cocked an eyebrow in my direction. I put my hands on her shoulders and held her away slightly, she glanced over to our table who were all utterly enthralled by the little show I just gave them. Bella laughed and I shrugged, starting to laugh too.

"Edward, it's lovely you've finally... well... it's great you're together but... PDA? Seriously?!" Alice stated with a grimace on her pixie like face.

I let go of Bella with an exasperated sigh and turned to face the others. "Me? PDA? Fuck off! Do you know what I've had to go through with you lot?!" I gestured wildly in their direction. "Em and Rose are disgustingly graphic to the point of pornography, and nothing is EVER said to them!" I noticed Bella laugh silently, and then I saw that she was watching as Rose and Emmett just stared at each other in disbelief. "I happen to kiss my girlfriend in a bar and look at what I get!"

I looked at my friends who were all sat around the table, jaws dropped. What had I said?

"Dude... did you just say girlfriend?" Emmett questioned. Had I said girlfriend in front of all these people? I hoped Bella didn't hear me.

"Um..." I glanced over to Bella, who was just stood, staring straight ahead eyes on a wall, lips parted in a confused pout, and breathing heavily. She turned her head to me slightly.

"You did say girlfriend Edward" Rosalie piped in. Taking a sip of her drink, looking triumphant, like she'd achieved something.

"Bella?" I whispered. She nodded slightly, "Bella, I..."

"Edward, I didn't know we were going to..." I'd completely freaked her out. We'd only properly got together this morning, I'd already been an ass when she left to go and get clothes, and now I just announced she was my girlfriend, in front of all my friends. "I thought that you wouldn't want people to know?"

"I thought that maybe...? Maybe this was different? I mean, it was... it is... for me anyway?" I turned so I was just facing her, I was hoping the guys on the table would let us have this conversation privately but they were watching like they were at the theatre. "Bella? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just-"

I was cut off by Bella crashing her lips to mine, I kissed her back with as much fiery passion as I could muster, my hands rested on her hips, her hands in my hair pulling it ever so slightly. I could feel myself starting to get a little carried away so I pulled away just far enough to rest my forehead on hers, turning my head to the side quickly to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"Girlfriend then?" She whispered, just loud enough for me alone to hear. I smiled and nodded.

"If that's what you want?" She smiled again and nodded, resting her head in the crook between my neck and shoulder.

I heard a small cough, which I'm guessing was Alice. So with my hands still on Bella's hips, I turned my head slightly, smiling in their direction.

"I think we might call it a night guys..."

"No you don't Edward!" Alice almost shouted, standing up and pulling Bella out of my arms. They stumbled back but managed to regain their balance before they fell. "I've not seen Bella for 6 weeks because of you!" She pointed at me accusingly, "And I'm not gonna lose her again now just so you can get laid"

"Alice, it's not..." There was no point in this. She wouldn't trust me until I proved myself. "It's not like that anymore Alice, Bella and I..."

"Just let her stay a bit longer, and then you can have her all to yourself ok?" She smiled at me slyly, she knew that it was different now, she was just winding me up, and it definitely worked. I nodded begrudgingly and went to sit down again.

"Done handing me around like a Barbie doll now then?" Bella sounded annoyed, and I'm not surprised, she was being treated slightly like a possession between me and Alice.

"You're hotter than any Barbie doll babe!" Emmett said, leaning across the table slightly, earning a hit on the chest from Rosalie and a slap to the back of the head from me.

Bella stood up and walked over to the bar, shaking her head and muttering something to herself as she went. I felt the need to get up and walk to the bar with her, I started to stand up but felt a hand on my arm, pulling me back down.

"Not a good move. Let her vent. Believe me" Rosalie said with a smile. I did what she said, she was a woman after all, she could tell. I sat back down but kept my eyes on Bella as she stood at the bar, getting served immediately even though there was a huge queue of people who had been waiting a lot longer than her. What an unprofessional barman! I shook my head and then noticed a guy stand next to Bella, she turned her head and smiled slightly. But not a smile like she knew him, just a polite smile to a stranger.

It seemed like they were talking forever, but in reality it was only a couple of minutes. Bella had been smiling and laughing, she pushed her hair back out her eyes as she laughed with the man she'd just met, his friends had come over to try and pull him away but he'd waved them off, leaning into Bella ever so slightly as he did so. Bella stole a glance in my direction, I didn't want it to look like I was spying on her, so as soon as our eyes met, mine darted to the table. I turned the beer mat in my hands, tapping it on the table every now and again, she still hadn't come back, even though she knew I'd seen her with the guy. I looked up through my furrowed brow and noticed she was still with him.

I stood up and pushed myself away from the table, Rose caught my arm again.

"No Rose" I said sternly and strode over to Bella and the guy. She looked up at me, still laughing from whatever he'd said, but her smile dropped. "Hi"

"Hey, Edward. Everything ok?" She looked worried.

"Um... yeah. Alice has released us, so..." I lied. I looked at the guy who eyed me suspiciously. Bella caught the glance between us and huffed slightly. I leaned down swiftly and caught her mouth with mine, giving her a chaste kiss, but enough to show the guy who she was here with. But she pulled away hard, nearly falling.

"We'd better go then" She said. She grabbed her purse angrily from the bar and gave me a stern look. "I'll see you around" She smiled sweetly at the guy whose face dropped as we walked out of the bar. _Success!_

I tried to make conversation with Bella as we walked back to her room, but only got minimal responses from her. When we got back to hers, she slammed the door shut behind us both.

"Come on then Edward!" She almost yelled. "I'm all yours now, do whatever you want with me!"

I shook my head in disbelief. I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off.

"That's what this is all about isn't it? Getting me all alone, so nobody can interrupt us?!" I shook my head at her again, trying to speak again. "I bet I'm just gonna be locked away so no guy can ever look at me, let alone even speak to me again? Am I right?"

Fucking hell, she was angry at me. It was kind of hot to be honest. But definitely not funny, and I could tell that the smile that came to me when thinking of how hot she looked made her madder.

"This isn't funny Edward!" She yelled this time, stalking towards me, I took a step back, backing up into the bed and falling back on to it, propping myself up on my elbows.

"Bella, it's not-"

"Shut up Edward!" She climbed on top of me straddling my legs and pushing my chest so that I lay flat on the bed, looking up at her. A smile played on her lips that she was obviously trying to resist, but she leaned right down to my lips, almost touching. "I think somebody has some jealousy issues don't they?" I could feel her smiling as her lips touched mine while she spoke, I was hard.

I could only nod. I didn't trust myself to say anything, I couldn't be sure of her reaction, she rested her hands either side of my head as she held herself above me. But she didn't say anything else, my hands reached up and took her wrists firmly pulling them down to a more central position so that I could roll us over so I now took the position on top, looking down at her. She still looked angry with just that hint of a smile. I still had her wrists in my steely grasp, I held her hands over her head, still both in silence, I decided to break that silence.

"Bella" I said sternly, "Do you know how... excruciatingly beautiful you are?"

Bella said nothing, just stared at me.

"Just seeing you with... a guy. Even Emmett or Jazz..." I shook my head at the stupid confession that I was about to come out with, "I get jealous. Because you're mine now, and people need to know that", nothing I was saying was making sense.

"Emmett and Jazz?" She whispered, still staring at me intently. I nodded in response.

"When Emmett was talking to you earlier, when you were laughing... some of the stuff he says"

"You know I would never..." She didn't need to finish. I caught both of her wrists in one of my hands and brought the other one down to put one finger over her mouth.

"I know... I just, I want to make you laugh like he does. I want to be the only one to make you laugh, I want you to be..."

"Yours?" She finished for me, a slight smile forming on her lips. I nodded again and brought my lips down on hers forcefully, she groaned into the kiss, arching her back slightly, pressing her breasts into my chest.

I pulled away breathlessly, she still had her eyes closed, her chest heaving with her heavy breaths. I kissed, nipped and licked along her jaw bone, working my way down her neck and onto her collarbone. My grip on her wrists loosened and her hands flew down and tangled themselves in my hair, pressing me against her soft, warm skin.

"Edward" She whispered softly, still breathless from the kiss.

I pulled away from her neck to look up at her. "Let me do it Edward", I looked at her quizzically. I had no idea what she was talking about. I pushed myself up completely to sit on my knees, and she sat up with me, smoothing her hands over my chest, the material of my shirt rising with every upward movement of her hands. I reached down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, discarding it quickly, as I felt her hands fumble with the fly on my jeans, she struggled to shimmy them down my hips as I was straddling her. I stood up and pushed them off, whipping my shoes and socks off in the process. When I was done I found myself in Bella's previous position, sitting on the edge of the bed, Bella had put one leg either side of my hips as I sat on the bed, one had behind my neck, the other cradling my face slightly as she leant down from her position above me to pepper kisses all over my face, before finally finding my lips. I kissed her hungrily, and snaked my hands around to her ass to help her balance as she started to grind into me. My boxers were majorly tented, my raging hard on fighting to free itself from its constraints. She pulled away from the kiss and I moaned slightly from the loss of contact, she looked down at me and smiled an angelic smile, reaching down to the bottom of her dress to pull it over her head, I grabbed it from her and flung it across the room, not caring where it landed. I growled instinctively and pulled her to me to kiss her again, still grinding against my almost painful member, giving us both the friction we so desperately needed, her hands which were gripping onto my shoulders pushed against me, I tried to keep my mouth to hers as she pulled away but lost as she was too far away, she giggled slightly at my efforts. She kept her hands on my shoulders to steady her as she stood up once again, my hands now covered hers, just in case she were to fall. She stood in front of me, and I took in the magnificent sight that was _my _girlfriend. She was wearing a deep purple satin bra with black lace detail to the top and matching panties, my dick twitched at the sight of it.

When she started to kneel down I thought I was going to die from anticipation. When she'd said "let me do it", I forgot I'd stopped her doing this last time. I didn't have the strength to fight her this time, my willpower was slipping away with her every movement. She tentatively reached out and ghosted her fingers over my hip bone, making me shudder. She looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and smiled a cheeky smile. She took the waistband of my boxers and pulled them painstakingly slowly down my hips and off completely. She didn't move for a couple of seconds, for a second I was worried she would say no and leave me like this, completely unseen to. But then she reached forward again, letting her thumb graze slightly of the tip of my member, causing me to let out a hiss in appreciation. Her finger traced up and down my shaft, it was agonising, I'd teased girls in the past, and this was definitely pay back.

"Bella..." I muttered, barely able to speak to be honest. She looked up at me again and smirked, _she fucking smirked at me, fucking cock tease!_ Then, as I shut my eyes and threw my head back in the total agony that she was putting me through I felt my dick enveloped in a warm, wet and fucking amazing feeling. My head shot back up and my eyes flew open. I didn't want to miss a second of this. I looked down as Bella used the tip of her tongue to trace around the head before taking just the tip of my into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it. My hips bucked ever so slightly towards her as I pushed myself further into her mouth. She pulled back and then in one long stroke she licked her way up my shaft and back down again before taking me fully in her mouth. I resisted the urge to fist my hands into her hair and fuck her mouth hard, letting her take complete control. She alternated between short light movement, and long hard sucks that nearly tipped me over the edge. And then she did what I'd never experienced before, I felt the tip of my member hit the back of her throat and I heard a slight noise from her... the gag reflex. She literally had me in as far as I would go and it was fucking incredible, I groaned loudly and bucked my hips. She did this a few more times, each time more amazing than the last, her hand reached forward and she started to run my balls between her fingers skilfully, that was the last straw.

"Bella... I'm gonna... Uh...Bel-" But she didn't pull away, I exploded into her mouth, grunting her name. I looked down at her again, and watched her swallow it down. Fuck. Me.

"Get up here" I almost growled as I pulled her up to my level, wrapping her legs around my waist as I kissed her fiercely, grabbing her face between my hands, never wanting to let her go. I stood up with her still clamped around my waist and I leant down to my drawer to grab a condom. I moved my death grip on her face to her ass to hold her in place and the slammed her hard against the wall, causing her to whimper, in what I'm hoping was pleasure rather than pain. I was just beginning to get hard again, but I wouldn't last very long. I held her against the wall with my body as one of my hands reached down to her hot, wet centre, I pulled her panties to one side and shoved a finger inside her, my thumb roughly rubbing against her clit.

"Ugh... Ed-... UGH!" She almost screamed as I plunged another finger into her, fucking her with my hand. I was fully erect now, so took my hand away from her, she whimpered at the loss of my touch, but I used the hand to roll the condom on and to pull her panties down slightly, but it wasn't far enough, I should have done this earlier.

"Fuck" I said as I put her down, pinning her against the wall again though as I ripped the panties from her and threw them across the room. She laughed slightly as I picked her up again and we resumed our original position. One of her hands reached behind her arched back to unclasp her bra and she took it off, letting it drop to the floor beside us. I kissed, licked and nipped at her collarbone, working my way down to one of her perfect breasts, biting down on it slightly, just as she bit down on my shoulder.

I growled loudly and shoved myself into her, causing her to groan loudly. One of her hands rising above her head, her palm awkwardly facing the wall, trying to find a grip that wasn't there. I buried my head into the crook between her neck and shoulder and pumped into her hard and fast, my breath taking on a grunt with each thrust.

"Ugh... Edward... Faster"

"Whatever it takes babe" I said between thrusts, surprised it was even audible through my breathlessness. She whimpered a laugh and let one hand knot itself in my hair, pulling my head back to let her kiss me. I sped up my thrusts, I was so close to coming, I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

"Bella... I need... uh" I spat out as I began to lose control.

Both of Bella's hands were now in my hair tugging at it furiously as she came hard around me, her walls clamping down and pulling me further in.

"Fuck...fuck...FUCK" She shouted as she rode out her high. A few more thrusts and I followed suit, a string of curse words escaping me loudly as I came. Unable to hold Bella up any longer I put her gently back down on the floor, but leaned into her, my head buried into her neck again, as I began to kiss her tenderly. She wrapped her arms around my neck and played with my hair soothingly. As I began kissing her collarbone I picked her up, my hands finding her ass again as I walked us to her bed, lying her down before getting in beside her, lying next to her and pulling her flush with my body.

My eyes felt heavy with exhaustion and I felt them beginning to close. Bella, who was tracing lines up and down my arm that was wrapped around her, turned her head to look at me over her shoulder. "Still jealous?" she whispered, a smile playing on her lips.

I opened my heavy lidded eyes and smiled, "Only of any fucking guy that's _ever_ made you feel like that". She giggled slightly and leaned up to kiss my lips lightly.

"Only you make me feel like that Edward. Believe me!" She turned back over and I pulled her closer against me, kissing that bit behind her ear that I knew she liked before we both let ourselves drift off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

BPOV

Right ok, so I know that really wasn't the best way to prove my point in an argument, but seriously this guy... just sitting there looking so... fucking... hot! I couldn't resist. I had planned on properly confronting him, I don't need a possessive boyfriend following me around watching my every move. But then his face when I started shouting my head turn to mush and the only thing I could think of was how much I wanted him, and then when he smiled... Oh my God that smile!

And that was something else. I was now officially his girlfriend! He hadn't meant to announce it like that I don't think, and when he just came out with it like that to say I was shocked would be an understatement. I'd never imagined that meeting Edward again would make my life so perfect, but it definitely had.

I still don't get why he was jealous of that guy at the bar though. When I'd left the table after Emmett's stupid comment about Barbie dolls I was pretty angry, mumbling "Stupid fucking men" as I walked over to the bar. When I got there I sat on a bar stool and leaned on the bar, not intending on actually getting a drink until the barman came over to me almost straight away, and I'm sure there was a huge queue.

"What can I get for you babe?"

He was pretty hot actually, the type I would have gone for usually... If I didn't now have a possessive boyfriend staring at me.

"Um, just a beer please", he came over with the bottle a couple of seconds later and I handed him the money and told him to keep the change, there wasn't much of it but he seemed pretty happy with it. I took my first swig out of the bottle and as I leaned to put the bottle on the bar in front of me I noticed a guy leaning into me.

"Hello there" He sounded as if he knew me. But I was pretty certain I didn't know him. He was just shorter than Edward, with blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes, not piercing like James', just really, really beautiful like you'd want to swim in them. I smiled politely hoping he would introduce himself further to halt my confusion.

"I'm pretty sure we don't know each other. Which is a complete mystery to me. I'm Mike"

"Hey, I'm Bella"

He smiled a brilliant smile at me, his voice oozing with enthusiasm. "Believe me when I say it's a pleasure to meet you Bella!" I laughed slightly at his cheesy technique, and pushed my hair up and over my head, something I must have picked up from Edward, I've seen him do it so much.

"Ok, a little too cheesy?" He grimaced, "Do I sound like a creep from a bad film?"He laughed at himself this time so I didn't feel so bad laughing with him.

"No, not at all. You sound like a creep from the really _good_ films!" I laughed, I've always had a thing for old romantic comedies, great viewing really!

He started to laugh as well. When a few guys, who I'm guessing were his friends came up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned to them and handed them their drinks, but waved them away back to wherever they had been before. I glanced over at Edward who I'm pretty sure had been spying on me the entire time I'd been at the bar. He was definitely staring, his eyes darted away from mine when our eyes met, and he started playing with a beer mat, tapping it on the table, reminding me of his little performance with the spoon at the coffee shop when I was on the phone to James.

I shook my head and looked away, but Mike had caught me.

"Boyfriend huh?"

I shook my head in confusion.

"Oh... um, yeah" I shook my head again. "He's a little... um... well... it's new" I couldn't find a way to explain our situation.

"Ah ok... marking his territory then?" He laughed again.

"He might as well pee in a circle around me to be honest!" I tried my best to sound light hearted but seriously, it was true. Mike laughed even harder, and it was infectious, I started laughing as well, but then I looked up to see Edward towering over me. He looked at Mike with the most menacing look I'd ever seen, I would have hated to be James when he'd hit him, I bet that look was priceless.

He told me that Alice had let us go. I knew that was a blatant lie, I looked over at Alice who was staring at us, awestruck. I shook my head angrily and grabbed my purse from the bar, I said goodbye to Mike who looked a little annoyed but smiled sweetly anyway.

The entire walk home I was seething. He would try and talk to me, but all I could manage was "mmm" and "uhuh", we were in public after all, I couldn't kill him.

When we got back and I started shouting he just looked so cute, I could tell then that it would be difficult to ever have an argument with a face like that.

And the sex that followed... incredible! Hard, against a wall, but still intimate, he was showing his need for me in a purely animalistic way that I totally appreciated.

When we woke up the next morning, I was glad to find that I was still lying in Edward's strong arms, I stretched slightly and turned to look at the time. Shit. Only half an hour till class, and I couldn't afford to miss any more this week. I stroked Edward's arm trying to coax him to move but it didn't work, I wriggled slightly and felt him stir, but he just pulled me closer to him.

"Edward" I whispered harshly. "Edward, we have to go"

"Mmm, that's it baby..." he mumbled.

"Edward!" I laughed, swatting his arm, "Quit the sex dreams and let me go!" I moved again, and then I felt his morning glory against my ass. Clearly seeing he wasn't going to wake up in a conventional way I reached down behind me and slowly began pumping him, causing him to moan a little louder.

"Uuuuh, right there..."

I laughed again and his eyes opened immediately, finding mine instantaneously and looking horrified.

"Bel...Oh FUCK!!!" He groaned and threw his head back, eyes shut, as he realised his dream was actually a reality, he released me from his grip and turned to lie on his back. He pushed my hand away and rolled over to grab my hips and effortlessly lifted me to straddle him.

"No Edward!" I screamed, laughing.

He pulled me down, his arms under mine, his hands on my shoulder blades and brought his head to my ear. "Well if you didn't want it, then why on earth would you wake me up in that manner?" He laughed

I pulled back slightly and rested my hands on his chest. "Well somebody wouldn't wake up... And I have to get to class... and then you started having this rather interesting dream, so I figured..." I smiled wickedly.

"So now you're going to leave me to go to class with this..." He said and gestured down towards his now pretty huge problem. I laughed again, and tried to get myself off him, but he pulled me back.

"Come on Bells..." He whispered, trying to dazzle me with his beautiful green eyes and sex hair that just looked so incredibly hot in my bed. "You can just say you were er... helping a friend with an assignment" he smirked and pulled me down to him again, leaning his head up slightly to find my lips, but I pulled away.

"Edward, I really have to g-"

But I was cut off as he threw me onto my back on the bed and hovered over me, I gasped at the suddenness of his attack and laughed at his amused expression.

"My homework is _very_ important to me Bella" He whispered convincingly as he traced my jaw bone with his nose until he got to my ear where the nipped at my earlobe. I sighed and tried to form a coherent sentence.

"I have to go" I whispered, barely audible and definitely not convincing. I felt him smile as he kissed me on the lips, sliding his tongue into my mouth as I gave into him.

His hands ran up and down my sides firmly but lovingly as he continued to nuzzle at my neck, and I found my body arching towards him in need, my hips grinding into him and rubbing my legs together to find the friction that I so desperately needed. He smiled into my neck and chuckled to himself before his hands reached down to my hot centre and let his thumb find my throbbing clit, he rubbed it firmly as I writhed under his touch.

"Oh my God... Edward" I breathed out.

"What is it my Bella?"

"Please, Edward..." I whimpered, my hands gripping the sheets next to me and throwing my head back into the pillow.

"What do you want me to do babe?" He sounded so hot taking charge like this. But I couldn't even think about a coherent answer.

"Uhhh" I gasped as he plunged two fingers into me, still working on my clit and kissing my collarbone, "Take me", was all I could force out.

He laughed at my desperation and pulled his hand away and I whimpered at the loss. He sat back for a little while and just looked at me. My eyes flew open and I gave him the death glare.

"What are you doing?" I was missing class for him... again.

"Well you're answers aren't sufficient babe" He smiled wickedly at me as I lay exasperated beneath him.

"Fine!" I said a bit too loudly and pushed him off me, and this time he fell off the bed. I seem to remember I owe him a bit of revenge for leaving me hanging for a kiss yesterday. Today shall be payback. As he propped himself up on his elbows while on the floor, I crawled over to him and took his cock in my mouth, much to his shock.

"FUCK!" He exclaimed as his elbows gave way and he landed on his back. I knew I was much closer to my release than he was and I would use this that as my advantage. While working my magic on his member, and listening to his curses and adulation I used one hand to quickly work my clit and my centre, and I was so close. The coil in my stomach was tightening quickly, and it would only take a little bit more for me to fall off the edge. I groaned around him and heard him sigh my name over and over, and then it happened, my walls clenched around my fingers and my high washed over me, causing me to release Edward from my mouth and lay my head on the floor beside him, breathing through the high.

I looked up at Edward who's eyes were completely bugged.

"Were you...?" He stared at his unfinished 'project' and looked back at me in disbelief, "Did you just get yourself off? While you were...?"

Haha mission complete. He didn't know what to say. I stood up with a satisfied grin on my face and walked over to the bathroom. But I felt him behind me, he spun me around and caught me between his arms and the wall.

"You're _so_ fucking hot" He said and leaned down to kiss me, smiling. I slid down the wall and slipped out of his arms, and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. "Oh my God... You just played me didn't you?" He said through the door, his voice tainted with desperation. I knew he would have serious blue balls now. I just laughed and got into the shower.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed looking frustrated, but still smiling. I grabbed some clothes really quickly from the closet and ran back into the bathroom but he didn't make an effort to move.

I came out of the bathroom, fully clothed and hair tied up in a messy bun. He was still sitting in the same position I'd left him in before and he stared at me with disbelief.

"Now what?" He asked.

"Now? Well... now I go to class... I'll only be half an hour late" I quipped and leaned down to kiss him chastely on the lips, before he could pull me down to him I rushed out of the door with my bag, but before I walked away, stood by the door long enough to hear him complain something about "cockblocking". I laughed and rushed to class, the teacher not seeming to care about my late arrival.

***

EPOV

Someone remind me why I love her? No girl has _ever_ even come close to doing that to me before, I suddenly felt extremely sorry for all those college girls I'd left to finish themselves off after I ran out on them mid way through. I looked down at my painful erection, it was begging for attention, and I knew it definitely wasn't craving my hand.

I walked uncomfortably to the bathroom and got into the shower, letting the hot water surround me, I was hoping it would take my mind off what just happened, but it made it worse if anything, Bella's scent was still clinging to the room like a veil in the steam, taunting me. I looked down at myself again, the water dripping from my wet hair.

There was no use, I tentatively took a hold of myself, knowing my dick would not be entirely satisfied until it was her hand... her mouth, bringing me off. I thought about the last couple of days, the way I had taken Bella roughly against the wall in her room, showing her exactly how different I was from James, no bruises from me... yet. I'm sure we could get to that if she _really _liked it rough. My dick twitched in appreciation of my thoughts, and I smiled, my head falling back, letting the spray from the water cascade over my face as I brought myself off. I was imagining all the things I would do to her when she got back, to enact my revenge on her, I would let her know exactly what she did to me, she won't be able to walk for weeks after I get hold of her. And that was it, my orgasm was so hard I almost fell to my knees, I steadied myself on the wall and then got dressed back into yesterdays clothes.

I was just on my way out of the room to go back to mine to get dressed into some fresh clothes, I grabbed my phone from the table and looked at it. A text from Bella.

_Hope you're... calmer now B x_

I grinned at the text and laughed slightly to myself, this girl knew how to play. I started to text back furiously.

_Somewhat. Needed an extra hand though really E xxx_

It took her a little while to respond, I'm guessing she was trying not to get caught texting in class. I was already back at my room and changed into fresh clothes before I felt my phone vibrate again.

_Should have thought about that earlier champ! B x_

Champ? I imagined her saying it. In my imagination she said it in a ridiculously sexy tone, biting her bottom lip after popping the P audibly. I felt my dick twitch in my tight black jeans.

_I'll make it up to you. Trust me sweetheart. E xxx_

Oh my God, I was so whipped. I'd never experienced this with a girl before unless she was being particularly stubborn in not sleeping with me, then I would get her hot and bothered with some steamy texts. But I'd never been so eager after the sex. She had me wanting more, definitely wanting some more.

_I think I proved this morning I don't actually need you in that dept! B x_

I smiled a huge grin as I remembered her this morning. I looked down at my crotch again, I may well need some more attention after reliving this memory. I was so carried away having myself in her mouth, she just felt so... indescribable. I heard her moaning around me, only intensifying the sensation, sending vibrations down my cock and making me shudder every time. I was watching her head bobbing up and down, I really wasn't paying attention to her hands, I knew that one was taking care of where she couldn't reach with her mouth, but I truly didn't care about the other one.

I was so close to falling off the edge, I was about to warn her, just to be polite, but then she groaned again. Loudly. She pulled away completely, and collapsed onto the floor, her forehead resting on the floor by my hip, breathing heavily. I thought she'd passed out for a second, but then I realised when she smirked at me that she'd been... Ugh. Why did I need to think about it? It was painful again now, I was considering seeing to myself again, but decided to text Bella back quickly before I started anything.

_Tbh that was THE hottest thing on earth babe. Congrats on the multi-tasking! When you coming back? I need you. E xxx_

Seriously, this relationship wasn't based on sex. But fuck me she was amazing. I was slightly annoyed and jealous that my stupidity let other men have their hands on her first. She was obviously... experienced. But I knew that I was so much more of a problem than her in that department, and she didn't seem to be overly jealous of my conquests.

I looked down at my jeans again, and reached down to undo the button, just as the door flew open, Jasper and Alice falling through it, kissing furiously. Jasper opened his eyes and did a quick scan of the room, one eye spotting me and attempting to unclamp Alice from his lips. He gave up, just talking into the kiss.

"Mmm... A...Mmm... Al-" He stared at me, as I laughed silently at his futile attempts. He looked so embarrassed, standing there with an oblivious Alice, her legs wrapped around his waist and her hands tangled in his hair not letting him pull away, she obviously had no need for air.

"Just fuck me Jasper!" She whispered harshly. Jasper was mortified, staring at her and then turned his gaze to me.

"What's up Alice?" I said cheerily, to be greeted by a loud scream. Alice jumped off Jasper and pushed him away so hard he fell into the wall, but he just laughed.

"Oh shit! Edward, you scared the FUCK out of me!" She screamed, clenching her fists and starting towards me, but Jasper caught her by the waist pulling her away before she pummelled me.

"No Jasper! Let me have him!" She shouted, Jasper and I laughed so hard he nearly let go of her.

"Alright Scrappy Doo, calm it", he laughed and set her down on the ground, as she tried to control her breathing, closing her eyes while she composed herself.

"What are you doing here Edward? Do you not have classes to get to?" She still had her eyes shut but seemed an awful lot calmer. She opened her eyes slowly, giving me a suspicious look.

"Well, Bella and I w-"

"Is she here?" Alice started, her eyes darting around the room, and finding the bathroom door open, so she obviously wasn't in there, "I told you not to take her from me last night and then you were both gone!"

"Alice... She's not yours" I said playfully, knowing Bella obviously didn't appreciate being treated like a possession. "And no, she's not here. She's at class"

"Well at least one of you is!" Jasper laughed, I smiled at him, but Alice started again.

"That still doesn't answer what happened last night! Why did you both sneak off?"

"Alice, they're together. Why do you think they snuck off?" Jasper retaliated, rolling his eyes in my direction.

"We had a row actually" Alice opened her mouth to speak, a look of anger filling her pixie face. "All fixed now I think. My fault, naturally. But fixed none the less!"

Alice started talking again, but I drifted off, my phone vibrated again, and I looked at it eagerly, only to find it was a text from my father.

_Son, are you still planning on returning home this week? _

I sighed. But then smiled to myself, I'm pretty sure I'm staying now that the reason I was leaving is giving me every reason to stay!

_No dad, I'm gonna stick it out. Problem is sorted. Hope that's ok? E_

My father was slow to text so I was surprised when I got one back almost instantaneously.

_What are you going to do to me when I get there champ? B x_

I'm pretty sure that's not my father, I laughed to myself and looked up, Alice and Jasper standing looking down at me.

"Sorry guys. Are you wanting me to leave?" I feigned ignorance.

Alice huffed and walked out of the room angrily. Jasper stared at me smiling before leaving.

"Plan B my friend. Always think of a plan B!" He grinned a toothy smile, a glint in his eyes.

"Plan B?" I asked, shaking my head with a smile.

"Cleaning closet!" He whispered and slammed the door behind him.

I looked at my phone again. Swan wanted to play. Great stuff.

_Whatever you want babe, I'll start by taking those jeans off tho. I love those legs, and then may- _

My texting was cut off by a phone call from home. Urgh, I felt like I'd just been caught butt naked in the act by my parents on the family couch or something.

"Dad, Hi."

"_Edward, what kind of problem would make you consider leaving college anyway? I don't understand"_

So much for a hello, too interested in my education, which, to be honest, I was seriously lacking this week.

"Erm... Actually dad. It was a... well it's just that I kind of have... well..."

"_Whatever it is it can't be that bad son, I can get you to some clinics, it might not be one that makes you infertile..."_

"God, Dad!" I almost shouted. "Dad, I don't have an STD ok? Or any other medical problems for that matter. I was just going to say, that I have a girlfriend, not as exciting now you thought I was infertile."

Silence.

Nada.

Nothing.

"Dad? You still there?" I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it. Full signal and still connected.

"_Sorry son, I just had to go and see your mother. You're on speaker phone"_

"What? Why am I on speaker?" I laughed.

"_You're mother wants to hear you say it for herself"_

"What? That I'm not infected or that I have a girlfriend?" I heard my mother let out a cry in the background.

I felt my phone vibrate in my hand, I pulled it away from my ear to look at it. The text had come up on the screen. Looked like somebody could be a little impatient!

_A nice girl like me won't wait around this long you know? B x_

I smiled at the text and then held the phone back up to my ear to hear my mother gushing.

"_Come back this weekend anyway Edward, bring her around. Please? I've never met any of the girls you've been... involved... with. Other than er... whats her name, the one from school. Lauren?"_

I cringed as she said her name. What a mistake. Laurens and my parents were acquaintances. My parents didn't get on with the Mallory's either, so they thought it was a little odd when they heard her parents talking about how I broke her heart.

"Mom, Bella and I started dating like, this week. Can't it wait?" There was no way Bella would let me do half the things I wanted to do to her if we were at my parents house. That's if she wanted to go at all.

"_Please Edward? Oh I'd so like to meet her!"_

"Maybe in a couple of weeks Mom, ok? I really have to go, I have a text I need to send, it's urgent", I smiled as I said it. Still feeling dirty as I thought about what I'd like to do to Bella while talking to my Mom. It was uncomfortable and disturbing.

I made a few more quick excuses and hung up. I stared at my phone again, and deleted the message I'd already started.

_There is absolutely nothing nice about you, you dirty bitch. Get your ass back to mine b4 I burst E x_

I pressed send. I was absolutely desperate for her, and I hoped that the text would tell her that and send her my direction. My phone vibrated in my hand, I glanced down at it, not wanting to see my father sending me another text during my Bella induced daze.

_5 mins. I expect some filth Cullen, don't you dare disappoint me. B x_

Fuck. Me. This was going to be incredible.

By the time she got back to my room, precisely 7 minutes and 17 seconds later, I was standing by the door, bouncing with anticipation. She knocked on the door and I flung it open, grabbing her hand and pulling her flush with me, crashing my lips down onto hers. She groaned into the kiss and brought her hands up to my hair, pulling me as close as we could get. I loved that she seemed to want to get even closer. I put my hand on her hip and pulled her roughly against my crotch, I growled slightly at the contact, she slowed down the kiss and started to release my hair from her grasp, and then she backed away, towards the door.

"Bella..." She wasn't going to leave me, not again. "Where do you think you're going?"

She grinned wickedly at me, "Well it's not filthy if it's in your _room_ is it?" I cocked an eyebrow at her and smirked, "Come on champ". It was exactly like I thought it would sound like, her voice slightly husky from the kiss, breathing heavily, she popped the P and bit her lip as she smiled at me again. I almost ran to her, and she laughed, pulling me out of the door and shutting it behind us.


	11. Chapter 11

BPOV

I was so determined not to give in to him today, I was going to wind him up with text messages and just leave him to sweat, I'd done it with loads of guys before and found that it made them wanting more than just a kiss goodnight.

I was sat in class next to Angela, who had raised an eyebrow at me when I ran in late, apologising profusely to the professor, I got all my books out and tried to concentrate, and I really did try, but then I kept thinking back to what he was doing. I knew he wouldn't just sit there and wait for me to come back and finish him off, he would be doing it himself, and the thought made me blush.

I imagined him in my bathroom, in the shower, dripping wet, jacking off under the stream of water, water trickling down his well formed shoulder blades, and his tight abs and urgh... I pulled out my phone and hid it under the table.

_I hope you're... calmer now B x_

I waited eagerly for his response, but it was ages before I got one, I wondered what he was doing, whether he had believed I was going to come back for him. I could hear the lesson in the back of mind, talking about nothing important, but Angela seemed to be on a mission writing notes when nobody else was. Oh well that was Angela!

_Somewhat... needed an extra hand though really! E xxx_

I smiled as I noticed he'd put three kisses at the end of his text, I was going to stick to my guns with one, let him be the romantic. I pressed reply and bit my lip before deciding on what to respond with.

_Should have thought about that earlier champ! B x_

I smiled as I sent it. If I was going to give a guy a nickname then Champ it would be. I hoped he appreciated it, I thought about how I would say it to him later, I wanted to tease him with it, so that every time I said it, it would drive him crazy.

_I'll make it up to you. Trust me sweetheart. E xxx_

Oh, this boy was so full of himself! I considered my reply before hitting send.

_I think I proved this morning I don't actually need you in that dept! B x_

I thought back to my little revenge on him this morning, not only had he not kissed me last night, but to tease me like he did... well, it just couldn't go on. His face when I'd left was priceless, although it was taking all of my energy not to go back in and take him. My phone vibrated again in my lap, sending shivers up my legs, I shuddered slightly as I looked at the screen.

_Tbh that was THE hottest thing on earth babe. Congrats on the multi-tasking! When you coming back? I need you. E xxx_

He thought it was _hot_? I'll never understand guys! It was supposed to be a punishment, but he enjoyed it, and I really couldn't think of better punishment than that.

I must have blushed again thinking about how much he enjoyed it because I was startled to find my professor standing next to me, an amused look on his face.

"Do you find the subject of Child Illiteracy somewhat amusing Miss Swan?"

Oh God.

"Oh... OH no! Of course not, I just find it frustrating. The education system needs to focus on children who need help"

I hoped my lie was convincing, but I'd never been a good liar. I couldn't be any redder than I was, it seemed all of the blood was now in my face. I decided to cool the texting for a little while, just while I regained some composure.

My professor looked at me and sighed before walking back to his desk to continue teaching, I tried my best to listen for the next little while, my thoughts every now and again drifting back to Edward.

_What are you going to do to me when I get there champ? B x_

I sent the message on the way to another class with Angela who was chatting about her night with Ben, giving me all the gory details. She asked me about Edward as well, but I only answered with minimal responses, too wrapped up in my text tease that had escalated with Edward.

Angela and I sat down in our next class. And again, as much as I tried to concentrate I could only wonder why he hadn't text me back. Maybe he'd decided to go to class after all?

After nearly half an hour of no response I decided to send him a little reminder.

_A nice girl like me won't wait around this long you know? B x_

If that didn't speed him up, I didn't know what would. I was expecting an instant reply but I didn't get one. I sat bouncing my knee up and down, and biting on the top of my pen eagerly.

When my phone vibrated I nearly squealed in excitement.

_There is absolutely nothing nice about you, you dirty bitch. Get your ass back to mine b4 I burst E x_

I just stared at the message for about 2 minutes, completely absorbed in his words. Then, like a rocket I texted back like the speed of light. The thought of him sitting in his room waiting for me was too good an opportunity to miss. I'd also noticed that in his desperation he'd only put the one kiss at the end of the message, it made me smirk.

_5 mins. I expect some filth Cullen, don't you dare disappoint me. B x_

I stood up immediately.

"I'm going to be sick!" I exclaimed, running from my seat, taking only my phone and keys with me, I knew Angela would pick up the rest of my stuff. My professor nodded quickly and I stormed out of the room. I wasn't going to run to Edward's, that would make me look desperate, so I opted for a half run across campus to his building. When I got to his building I took a minute to calm my breathing down and then headed up the stairs to his room slowly, hoping I was making him stew. I knocked on the door, but just as I did the door flew open, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me hard against him, crashing his lips together with mine. It was a devouring kiss that I had never felt before, our desperation intensifying every second. I groaned and pulled on his hair, I needed him closer, it almost hurt, but I couldn't seem to get enough of him. His hand grabbed my hip harshly and he shoved his crotch against mine hard, I fought back a whimper as I felt him hard and ready for me. I slowly began to pull away, but couldn't seem to stop kissing him, he was addictive. I let go of his hair and headed back towards the open door.

He asked me where I was going, a smile paying on his lips, maybe thinking it was another punishment.

"Well it's not filthy if it's in your _room_ is it?" I said as seductively as possible, "Come on champ", his reaction to my new pet name for him was incredible, his eyes that were already heavy lidded seemed to darken dramatically as he headed for me, almost running. I laughed as he passed me and pulled on my hand, I shut the door behind us.

"Where are we going to go?" I asked through the laughter as he pulled me down the corridor quickly, he stopped suddenly and turned around, and I crashed into him. He smiled, snaking his hands around my waist pulling me closer, his nose skimming my jaw bone, making me sigh in response.

"I thought you knew?" He questioned, whispering into my ear, making me shudder.

"I'm not doing all the work Cullen. You want filth, you make it filthy" I whispered back, my hands tangling in his hair again, my eyes closed and my head tilted back slightly, letting his mouth explore my neck.

"Fine" he said and pulled away from me, grabbing my hand again and pulling me down the corridor towards the stairs. My head was spinning slightly from his abruptness, but when we got outside the cold wind woke me up with a start.

"Woah woah woah. Where are we going?" I said, slightly panicked now that we would be caught, he just turned to me and smirked, before pulling me to one of the campus buildings, students were just coming out of classes and many looked at us like he was dragging me off to attack me somewhere, although in some ways, he was! We reached one of the buildings and Edward threw the door open, only to walk directly into Emmett.

"Hey hey, where are you... _two_ off to in such a hurry?" He said as he noticed me behind Edward.

"Not time Emmett!" Edward growled as he attempted to push past him, it was no use. Emmett stood unmoved. The throb between my legs was threatening to knock me over it was getting so strong.

"Edward? There's a perfectly good bedroom upstairs..." He winked at me, and I blushed bright red, "Oh God. You _actually_ are?!" His eyes bugged, staring down at Edward and flicking his glance to me. I decided staring at the ground would be a good idea. I felt Edward turn around and look at me, obviously noticing that I had given us away.

"Emmett..." He started, a husky voice, obviously struggling to speak, "I _need_ to get past... now!" He said as he pushed Emmett to the side again, this time Emmett complied and Edward ran past him, pulling me along behind him. I could hear Emmett's loud laughter fill the corridors and I blushed again.

As I was rushed past classrooms and students they all became a blur, and then I was pushed through a door, and before I knew it I had been lifted onto a basin in what seemed to be the men's bathrooms.

"Eurgh Edw-" I was cut off by being pushed back hard against the mirror, his lips almost crushing mine he was kissing me so hard, his fingers digging into my hips as he held me against the basin, standing between my legs, I heard the door open but didn't bother to turn my head to look, Edward snapped his head away from me and growled.

"GET OUT!"

I heard a guy's scared whimper and then the door shut, Edward looked at me, there seemed to be a fire behind his eyes, as he growled again and pulled me off the basin and onto my feet again, he pulled me roughly into a cubicle and shoved me against the door as he locked it behind me.

"This place is disgusting... a guys toilet?" I said heavily, having almost no air to breathe.

"I know" He said harshly, "It's filthy isn't it?" He smiled at me wickedly before undoing my jeans quickly and pulling them down to my ankles, I pulled them off completely and undid the button on his, he pulled a condom out of his pocket, and then he pushed them down to just below his knees. I pushed him back onto the toilet seat and he leaned back against the cistern.

"This really is disgusting" I pulled a face of disgust and went to straddle him, I put one leg either side of him, feeling him hard against my cotton covered centre, making me throb for him, I wound my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me as his hands rested on my hips, holding me in place. I circled my hips slowly, feeling the friction between us, and he hissed into my neck, I reached down and pulled his boxers down his legs, releasing him from his constraint.

"I thought you said earlier you needed a helping hand?" I smirked, "Looks like you've worked yourself up pretty well!" I whispered into his ear and heard him exhale heavily. I took the condom from him and rolled it over his member, one of his hands left my hip and came between us as he ran a finger over my soaking panties.

"You, Bella. Are a dirty, filthy, little girl" He whispered it, sounding so controlling, I whimpered , pulling him closer to me, before reaching down and pulling my panties to the side and pushing down onto him, earning a loud groan from both of us.

I sat still for a few seconds, having shocked myself with the sudden impact, then I began to roll my hips slowly at first. Edward was breathing heavily and his head fell onto my shoulder, his hands still gripping my hips guiding my movements. I felt him nip on my shoulder slightly as I started to increase my speed, using his shoulders to push me higher so I could drop from a further height back onto him.

"Ugh..." I breathed, "Fuck..." Sweat was forming on my forehead, and I let my head fall to his shoulder, I bit down on his shoulder hard.

"Argh, Bella!" He shouted pulling me against him harder. I was pretty sure that I would have bruises on my hips in the shape of Edward's hands, a mark I would gladly endure for this moment.

Edward stood up and pushed me against the door again, one of my hands reached up and caught the top of the cubicle frame. I used it to hold myself up as Edward pushed me further up the cubicle wall. My other hand still around Edward's neck, pulling at the scruff of his hair, and my legs wrapped tightly around him.

"Edward..." I started, I could feel the coil in my stomach tightening rapidly, "I need to...Ugh!" I moaned out as he started sucking on my neck, the sensation causing me the most wonderful pain. He was marking me as his, and I would leave with the mark as proof for all to see.

"Bella, you better fucking come harder than ever around me right now!" He growled at me, as he pumped furiously into me, making the cubicle walls shake.

"Ugh... Edward!" I whimpered, the hand that had been supporting me fell down to his shoulder and I gripped it tightly as I came hard, screaming his name, and then wrapping my arms around his neck as he finished.

"Fuck...Fuck...Bella!" He grunted as he came inside me. He held me up against the door for a while, resting his forehead on my chest as his breathing returned to normal. I heard the door open again and Edward gently lifted me away from the wall and set me down next to the toilet, I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on quickly as Edward pulled his up, doing up his fly and button. He turned and flashed me a grin, before stepping forward to me and gently cupping my chin and kissing me softly on the lips, reminding me that he loved me, his tongue licking across my bottom lip, I sighed into the kiss and he pulled away, just as the door opened and shut again. He unlocked the cubicle door and stuck his head out before opening it fully, taking my hand and guiding me out.

We walked out of the bathroom hand in hand, and headed back to his building in a comfortable and exhausted silence, but both with huge 'just been fucked' grins.

Edward opened the door of his room and let me in before him, I walked in and turned around to look at him, he had a concerned look on his face and cocked his head slightly, walking towards me, shutting the door behind him.

"Did I do that to you Bella?" his finger ghosted over where he had marked me earlier, I hadn't looked in a mirror to check it out, so I wasn't sure how visible it was, but it was just above my collar bone, if there was a mark, people would see it for sure.

I reached my hand up to where his was and covered it before walking over to the mirror and revealing it to myself. He'd obviously done it harder than I thought, my previously chalky white skin blood red in a small circle above my collar bone, I ran my hand over it slowly, my mouth pulling up into a small smile. I was his, hopefully forever.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, I leant my head back to him and he leant down to kiss me sweetly before pulling away.

"Did I do that?" He whispered, his head motioning towards my mark. I nodded, biting my lip. "I'm sorry" He whispered in a pained tone, I immediately pulled away from him and turned around to face him.

"You didn't _hurt_ me Edward. Don't be sorry!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull myself up, peppering his face in kisses.

"It doesn't hurt?" He winced as he said it and I shook my head, hoping to assure him. I took his hand and held it against the mark, he bent down and planted light, wet kisses all over my collar bone and the mark as his hand fell to my waist. My head fell back as I gave him more room to kiss me, and I sighed deeply.

I heard someone clearing their throat in the room and my eyes snapped open to see Alice and Jasper standing in the door way smirking at us. I pushed Edward away slightly and he groaned, giving me a look of total annoyance, I laughed and pulled my shirt to cover the bright red mark on my skin.

"Bella!" Alice screamed and ran towards me, she threw herself onto me and I fell backwards onto what I believe was Jasper's bed, she was on top of me, her hands and legs on either side of me. I looked up at her and we both stared at each other for ages. I heard Edward mumble in the distance, "Fuck me they're going to kiss", but I paid no attention to him. And then Alice and I both broke into hysterical laughter, her collapsing on top of me.

I heard both of the guys groan and Jasper walked over to pull Alice of from me, still laughing like a mental person. Edward gave me his hand, which I accepted and he pulled me up to him and hugged me close to his body while he kissed the side of my head laughing quietly.

"That would have been hot" He whispered into my ear as low as he could get, making my entire body shudder. I gave him a smirk and pulled away.

"Now you two are done with your little display..."Jasper started, Alice glared him, hitting him in the chest, and he laughed. "Do you want to go out somewhere?"

***

EPOV

Right so. That was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life! The noises she made in that toilet cubicle were like music to my ears, and I found out that a little dirty talk goes down well with her, something which I would keep testing to see how far I could go.

When we'd got back to mine and I saw that mark on her I was so angry with myself, I hadn't even done it that hard, and an angry red mark was ruining her porcelain skin. But when she'd told me it hadn't hurt, she smiled. Like she was happy it was there, and I wasn't going to complain, seeing it there made me believe she was mine forever, and everybody else who saw that would see that she was off the market, so to speak.

We left to have lunch with Alice and Jasper and it was really fun, all laughing and joking, as if the past couple of weeks had never happened, and that me and Bella had always been together. And I guess we always had, I had kept her inner most thoughts and dreams locked away in a closet in my room since that day, so she'd always been with me.

The next couple of days were incredible, Bella and I spent as much time together as possible, 5 out of the 7 days we spent the night together, whether it be intimately or just sitting up all night talking, Bella also spent some more time at her place with Angela, and we both managed to go to our classes and concentrate... as best we could whilst sending each other dirty text messages.

My mother phoned again a couple of times, asking me to get Bella over to the house in Forks. And truth be told, I could imagine nothing better than introducing my parents to Bella, I was so completely in love with her, and I wanted everybody to know. I just didn't know how to approach the subject with Bella, surely going back to Forks would have negative memories for her, rather than happy. But I also knew that her father was there, and that she had not been back to see him since she left High School.

We were lying on her bed making out, my hands eager to smooth over every part of her body, and she moaned into the kiss slightly when I worked my way up the insides of her thighs. Her hands seemed to enjoy the groove of my shoulder blades, she had taken to resting her hands there whenever we did this, and it was kind of hot.

I felt my jeans start to vibrate, and unless Bella had some kind of sex toy lurking about in her bed I was pretty sure that it was my phone ringing. I pulled away and she cocked an eyebrow at me, her lips were red and swollen, her hair dishevelled, and I'd never seen her looking more beautiful.

I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity, before she nudged me in the ribs.

"Answer the phone babe"

I shook my head out of my daze and answered my phone without looking at who it was.

"Edward! I told you to phone me back", it was my Mom. I sat up, away from Bella and perched on the side of the bed.

"Mom, hey" I returned. Bella knelt up behind me and ran her hands over my shoulders, kissing my neck, and I leant my head towards her, letting her nuzzle against my neck.

"Have you asked her yet?"

"No Mom, I told you it's too soon at the moment." Bella immediately stopped, and pulled me back so that I was lying on my back, she stared at me intently.

"Well where are you now? Are you with her?"

"Um... yes?" I was still looking into Bella's eyes, they were silently questioning me.

"Well ask her now then!"

"Mom I really don't think..."

"Edward Cullen! Do it now!" I rolled my eyes and held the phone away from my ear for a second.

"Bella..." I wasn't sure how I was going to word it, "It's my Mom on the phone"

"Yeah I got that babe" She giggled sweetly.

"Yeah well... she wanted me to ask you whether... well... would you like to come back to Forks to spend thanksgiving with my family?"

Bella didn't say anything. She just sat and stared at me, her eyes wide. I reached up to her face and stroked her cheek lightly with my thumb.

"You really don't have to babe" I whispered as lightly as I could. Bella's eyes had filled with tears, but she'd not started crying yet. She shook her head and roughly wiped away her unshed tears.

"Tell her yes, and that I'll be looking forward to it" She said quickly and stood up abruptly, walking over to the other side of the room.

I quickly told my Mom and she squealed at the news. I tried to finish the conversation quickly, but she kept talking about how exciting it was, I ended up telling her I had bad signal and I put the phone down.

I stood up quickly and rushed over to Bella, taking her in my arms and kissing her cheek.

"Bells..." She sniffed lightly, but wasn't crying.

"I'm fine Edward really"

"But Bella-"

"Really Edward, I'm fine, it was just a shock. I'm fine" She leant up and I kissed her hesitantly, my mouth lingering by hers, lips almost touching for a long time after the kiss ended.


	12. Chapter 12

BPOV

We were on our way back to Forks, everyone was going home for thanksgiving, so we all got on the same flight and hired a few cars to drive back from the airport and to use for our stay, even though Edward had told me he had every intention of driving his own car. Rosalie and Emmett took one car and so in my car was Alice, Jasper, Edward and me, Jasper offered to drive, so Edward and I sat in the back. I sat, turned slightly to the window, watching the scenery pass by, resting my chin on my hand, Edward's hand was on my knee, rubbing circles with his thumb.

When Edward had asked me to go to his for thanksgiving I was totally dumbfounded. I spent every thanksgiving with Renee and Phil usually, but that wasn't the problem. I was worried that going back to Forks could ruin my relationship with Edward. I'd gotten over what he'd done, but going back to where it happened... I was worried about both of our reactions to the all too familiar surroundings. But I knew that if we were going to work then it had to be done, I couldn't stay away from Forks for the rest of my life. I knew that Charlie wouldn't be fussed if I wasn't with him for thanksgiving, he hated the holidays generally, so I would pop round for a bit then go back to the Cullen's house later on.

Renee hadn't taken it well when I'd told her I wouldn't be going to Phoenix for the holidays, she'd cried and told me she was lonely and that she'd missed me, but as soon as I told her I had a steady boyfriend and was going to meet his parents she perked up a bit, brimming with intrigue and excitement about Edward.

When the car jolted to a stop I was suddenly thrown from my daze.

"Bella, we're here... you ready?" His hand stroking my thigh lovingly, his face had a concerned expression across it and I smiled reassuringly.

"Sure thing!" I mustered, quickly saying goodbye to Jasper and Alice and getting out of the car, Edward took my bag from me, much to my annoyance, and Jasper sped off back onto the highway.

My looking out of the window had obviously not registered in my brain. I looked up the house and I was blown away, it was huge. There were walls of glass, through which I could see airy open rooms, with cream coloured walls and modern furnishings. I don't know how long I'd been standing there staring but I heard Edward chuckle beside me.

"Not what you imagined?"

"Not exactly... it's beautiful" I whispered in response. He laughed again and grabbed my hand and started walking towards the doorway, I stumbled on the steps slightly but regained my composure just before Edward pulled out his key.

"Ok... Are you sure you're ready? We could go and see Charlie first if you prefer?" His key was hovering by the lock, obviously just as nervous as I was.

"No... I can do this" I said as confidently as possible, shaking my head.

But then the door just opened, and we were met by the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life, other than Edward obviously! He looked a lot like Edward, but had perfectly coiffed blonde hair, his skin just as pale and the same striking green eyes.

"Edward!" He stepped forward, and Edward dropped my hand, being pulled into a hug, "I thought I heard someone at the door, you're mother told me I was getting old!"

Edward laughed and then stepped back, he grabbed my hand again and opened his mouth in an attempt to introduce me, but then a woman practically ran through the doorway and grabbed Edward away from me again and into another hug.

"Edward! I'm so happy you're back, I've missed you" She pulled away before he replied and stared at me, her smile broadening and then she glanced back to Edward who turned his head to look at me... with what I think was pride in his eyes.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella..." He put his arm around my waist and squeezed me to him gently.

"Hello Mr and Mrs Cullen, it's lovely to meet you both" I put my hand out to shake hands, but was pulled into a friendly hug by Edward's mom.

"Call me Esme dear! It's lovely to meet you too, you're so beautiful!" She pulled away and I blushed at the compliment, I heard Edward chuckle slightly behind me. Edward's dad took my hand and shook it lightly.

"Pleasure to meet you Bella, please call me Carlisle. Now let's get you both out of the doorway!"

He ushered us into the living room, and told us both to sit down, Edward sat close to me and put his arm around me, as Esme rushed around the house getting drinks and cookies for us.

"Mom, this isn't necessary!" Edward whined and threw his head back onto the sofa, I turned to look at him and laughed, and he opened one eye to look at me before grinning and pulling me further into him.

"Of course it is Edward!" She exclaimed, "We've got not one, but two guests this Thanksgiving, and I need to get everything ready", she set a plate of snacks down onto the table and turned to look at us, "Speaking of which... where is your brother?"

"He's on his way Mom, don't worry!" She rushed off into another room, shaking her head and mumbling something about time-keeping.

"Brother?" I asked, pulling out of his grip and turning to face him completely, bringing my legs up under me.

"Yeah..." He said as if I was stupid, "Emmett...? You know him right?" He laughed. My eyes bugged and I just stared at him.

"Emmett's your brother?!" I almost shouted

"Well, yeah... How did you not know that?"

"I didn't talk to you much at school remember?" I almost laughed but saw the pain in his eyes, so I went back to the main topic of conversation, "So how'd that work? You're the same age!"

"My parents adopted him when he was 6, he's been a part of the family ever since"

"Oh...wow" I said, just as the door flew open.

"I'm hoooooome!" Emmett shouted and I heard Esme scream slightly as Emmett obviously picked her up into one of his bear hugs.

Rosalie walked in behind them and hugged both Esme and Carlisle warmly, she looked somewhat sheepish as she walked into the living room and sat down.

"What took you guys so long?" Esme questioned as she poured them both lemonade. Emmett's eyes bugged slightly and I think I saw Rosalie blush.

"We just got a bit distracted on the way home... you know... with the scenery and whatnot..." Emmett said like it was a suggestion rather than an answer, and I watched Edward as he grimaced. Esme and Carlisle walked into another room leaving us all in the living room for together.

"Dude that's just wrong!" Edward groaned at Emmett, throwing his head back again.

"Oh I'm sorry, and what you two did in the fucking bathroom wasn't?" Emmett defended, my time to blush, Rosalie looked at me questioningly and I shook my head. "We can hardly do it here... we have to find... other avenues!"

"Urgh, no more Emmett, I don't want to hear any more!" Edward groaned again and stood up, pulling me with him, "Come on Bells, I've give you a tour of the house"

I followed him up the stairs as he showed me where the main bathroom was, Emmett's room, his parents room, and finally we got to his room. I walked in before him and turned around to look at him. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Yeah...so..." He started. I looked away from him and around the room. He had an entire wall of CD's and DVD's, which was the most dominant feature of the room. He had a huge bed with a wrought iron head board, and a gold comforter. There was a big black leather sofa in the corner of the room and a desk with what looked like journals and other bits of paper strewn across it.

"You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. My parent's made up the guest room in case you felt more... comfortable there... It's up to you"

"Well you're planning on staying in here aren't you?" I answered, turning to look at him again.

"Um... yeah", he looked at me, confusion in his eyes and voice.

"Well I'll be here as well then won't I?" As I said it I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him chastely on the lips.

"I thought... with it being my parents house... you would think it was a bit weird... being with me?" He was always so worried, he rested his forehead on mine and smiled.

"Well I wont... you know... coz that's just wrong!" I laughed, "But I'm gonna stay with you!" I pulled back, using his shoulders as leverage to hold myself away slightly. "As long as that's ok with you?" I smirked and cocked an eyebrow at him.

He laughed loudly and took my face in his hands.

"If you'd have said no I would have been beside myself!" He whispered, and leaned in and kissed me, it was slow and deep, and meaningful. I wrapped my arms around his neck again and pulled myself up into the kiss. I could see that it would be difficult to stop ourselves while we were here, I pulled away reluctantly, his eyes were still shut as I smiled at him.

"That was probably a good idea" He whispered, his eyes still shut. "I don't think I would have stopped"

I laughed at him and his eyes opened slowly, he smirked at me and lurched forward to grab me into a tight hug, I tried to pull myself away, both of us laughing, and we ended up falling back onto his sofa, him on top of me, both still laughing. I held my stomach as it was hurting with so much laughter when we heard someone clearing their throat at the door.

Both of our heads snapped up and I was mortified when I saw Carlisle smiling warmly at us both. Edward climbed off me quickly and rubbed the back of his neck again, looking at the floor to hide his embarrassment, I just stared at him.

"Um... sorry Dad, I just..."

"No son, I'm just happy to see you... well, happy I guess!" Carlisle smiled at me and I smiled weakly back at him, so embarrassed to be caught on the sofa with Edward on top of me within an hour of arriving at the house.

"Uh...yeah. I am" Edward turned to look at me and smiled, I shrugged and we both laughed, when we turned back to the door again, Carlisle had already gone.

"Sorry!" I whispered, "I won't do it again" I manoeuvred myself into a seated position on the sofa as he walked over and sat next to me.

"Dear God never say that again Bella!" He laughed, "I'm hoping you'll continue to do it..." He waved his eyebrows suggestively at me, leaning towards me to kiss me, but I pulled away just as his lips were about to brush against mine.

"We just got caught by your _Dad_..."

"Well I _had_ left the door open..."

"You know that's not the point Edward, it's weird, and I don't want your parents to think I'm some kind of tramp!"

He pushed me back down into a lying position on the sofa and hovered over me, his index finger ghosting my features, and then running down my jawbone to my neck.

"A tramp?" He whispered lightly. I shut my eyes and nodded my head gently. "Why would they think you're a tramp?" His finger worked its way over my collar bone and down my breast bone and cleavage, I sighed at his touch. "I've never brought a girl back to meet my parents Bella. They'll think you're anything _but_ a tramp". And with that he planted a chaste kiss on my lips and sat up away from me. My eyes snapped open and stared at him, he had his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Edward?"

Nothing.

"Edward, are you ok?" I sat up onto my knees and leaned forward, running my hand over his shoulders and back, I felt him relax slightly under my touch. "Edward..." I whispered, kind of seductively against his ear, "Tell me what's wrong". Resting my chin on his shoulder, pouting and frowning waiting for his reply.

He looked down at me and laughed as he noticed me pouting.

"Bella... why are you pouting at me?"

"Coz you won't talk to me" I said grumpily, putting the power of the pout into full force.

"If I tell you will you stop pouting?" He laughed again. I just nodded in response. "I don't want you to think... well... that you're the same as any other girl. You seem to have this... hold on me I guess. And the fact that you think my parents would think of you as a tramp for being with me... well it's my fault isn't it? For how I was before I met you again."

"How I feel isn't anything to do with your past... well I won't call them relationships. It's just, I want to make a good impression Edward, and I thought that seeing me like that after less than an hour in the house might make me seem like... well you know..." I moved myself around him so that I was straddling his hips as he sat on the sofa. I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him on the lips chastely. "I don't care what anybody else thinks about me. I just want your parents to like me. To like us... together."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me firmly against him so I wouldn't fall back. My hands were still massaging his head lightly and his head fell back a little, so I planted butterfly kisses where his jaw met his neck and felt his Adam's apple jump as he swallowed hard.

"My mother... she's so excited Bella you can't understand. I think she thought that I would be some kind of old aged Casanova. She loves you already, because I love you, it's as simple as that. And my father... well you saw his face. He's happy-"

"If you're happy?"

"If _we're_ happy Bella" He brought his head back up to look at me, "Because we _are_ happy, aren't we?"

I leant down and kissed him again, this time more deeply, and one of his hands came up and fisted a large amount of my hair. I pulled away slightly breathless, "You have no idea" I whispered, my voice filled with emotion.

We heard Emmett and Rosalie making their way up the stairs, laughing and talking with each other, so I climbed off Edward and he walked over to the door, shutting it and walking back to me, eliciting childish "oooh's" from the other side of the door.

"I totally get why you get angry with Emmett now by the way!" I laughed, sitting back down on the sofa.

When Edward walked back over to me, a boyish grin on his face and his hair suitably dishevelled from my head massage earlier, he reached his hand out to mine and I took it. He pulled me up to him and led me over to the huge bed, where we both sat down.

"Yeah well, he's my brother. He should know the boundaries!"

"Well has there really _been_ any boundaries before?" I laughed in response.

"How dare you!" Edward exclaimed in faux anger and surprise. Before leaning into me, resting his hand at the base of my neck and rubbing my jaw bone with his thumb, looking deeply into my eyes for a while before he kissed me deeply and passionately, his tongue running along my lips for entrance which I gladly gave him. Our tongues massaged one another's, and as the kiss deepened Edward leaned into me more, pushing me backwards onto the bed until I was lying down, him on his side next to me.

When we both needed air he pulled away, his hand staying at the base of my neck. He had only pulled away enough so that he was resting his forehead on mine.

"The only boundary there has ever been is that they're not allowed in my room, or my bed" he answered truthfully, which I have come to expect from Edward, he obviously felt he had hidden enough from me in the past.

I smiled at the knowledge that he had already told me he wanted me to stay with him in his room, and that I was currently lying on his bed making out with him.

"There's never been anyone like you Bella. I really do love you" He whispered, leaning down to kiss me again before I had the chance to answer. I pulled my head to the side, but his lips didn't leave my skin, they simply moved to work on my neck, his hand that had been locked securely at my neck stroked down my side.

"I love you Edward. But you know we can't do this..." I giggled, my hands either side of his head trying to hold him still rather than push him away.

"Ugggh" He groaned, releasing himself from my hands. "I keep forgetting where we are. Hopefully they'll go out at some point while we're here. Then you won't be so jumpy!" He laughed and then stopped suddenly, considering his words, "Actually no. Jumpy is good, quite necessary actually. Erm, a better word would be... worried?"

I laughed loudly and nodded, pulling him up level to me so that I could kiss him chastely again before rolling out from under his grasp and sitting up on the bed again.

"I love you Edward Cullen" I said warmly and kissed him on the lips again, smiling as I did so.

***

EPOV

When we'd arrived at my house Bella looked so worried I'd thought she might want to turn around and go back, but when I'd asked she'd been quite adamant that she wanted to meet my parents. If I was being totally honest, my insides were doing summersaults about Bella meeting my Mom and Dad. I was so happy, I knew that my parents would absolutely love her, and I was so proud that Bella was the only girl they had ever met out of all of my... conquests, because she was so much more than that. There was still just that voice at the back of mind telling me that I would totally fuck this up, and that this could be the worst mistake of my life. But I pushed that aside as soon as my Dad answered the door and pulled me into a tight hug.

As I pulled away I grabbed Bella's hand and opened my mouth to introduce her to my Dad, but just as I was about to, my Mom ran through the doorway nearly knocking me over with her eagerness to embrace me. When she pulled away, she noticed Bella. She stared at Bella for a few seconds then looked at me, and I could tell that the smile on my face showed her exactly how happy I was, I turned to look at Bella, my Bella, this was the single proudest moment of my life, introducing her to my parents.

I introduced her and she greeted them politely, and then my mother embraced her as hard as she had with me. Bella looked a little shocked, and then blushed when my mother told her that she was beautiful, and I had to laugh quietly at her reaction to the compliment. My father was a little more civilised, taking Bella's hand warmly and shaking it before we moved into the living room.

I sat as close to Bella as was possible on the sofa and threw my arm around her while my mother ran around playing hostess, much to my dismay. Bella didn't like a fuss, and I had said that on the phone when we'd been making arrangements.

I hadn't told either of my parents about how I'd really met Bella, I wasn't sure if they'd remembered her from school, but of course they knew Chief Swan. In a town as small as Forks, everybody knew Chief Swan. I'd had my run ins with him when speeding through town in my car, or being drunk in the street after a party, I'm not sure if he would remember me though. I'd told my Mom to set up the spare bedroom, just in case Bella thought it would be awkward to be in my room with me with my parents in the house. My parents had always been pretty liberal with that rule, Rose was staying round with Emmett after a couple of weeks of dating, and had become a permanent fixture in the Cullen household.

When Bella had asked me questioningly about my brother I was totally bemused. I really thought that she knew. My parents had never changed his second name, he would decide if he wanted to be a Cullen, and they wouldn't force that on him, so maybe she'd just assumed we were best friends. She obviously had done the latter and was shocked when I revealed Emmett as my brother and told her that he was adopted. Just as we were talking about it, he burst through the door, and like always caused a raucous. We sat for a while and had the most awkward conversation ever about our respective sex lives so I decided to retreat as soon as possible, pulling Bella into a tour of the house.

After our quite serious conversation, I sat for the next while as she went through all of my music and DVD's, my lack of having girls in my room before showing me up slightly as she found my porn stash in the very bottom corner, and pointing out any other embarrassing films or CD's. My eyes wandered as she reached up onto the top shelf of the wall cabinet. She looked absolutely beautiful, she was dressed simply in a pair of figure hugging jeans and a long, fitted dark blue wife beater which showed of every curve. I thought about those curves, about how amazing she looked without the clothes, above me, beneath me, in front of me, bent over a...

"Edward?"

I shook my head out of my daze as I saw Bella standing directly in front of me, laughing at my dazed state.

"Sorry, what babe?"

"What just happened there?" She laughed again, I think I felt myself blush slightly but shook it off.

"I was just thinking, it's nothing really" She cocked an eyebrow at me and huffed slightly. "Now what's up gorgeous?"

"I was just asking why you would have High School Musical on DVD?"

I jumped up from my seated position and stared at the DVD in her hands.

"Fucking Emmett!" I shouted, I grabbed the DVD from Bella and ran to the door, I stormed across the hallway to his door and pushed it open hard, hearing it hit the wall as it opened. Emmett and Rose were sitting on his sofa watching a film.

"What the fuck?" I shouted, flinging the DVD, and silently congratulated myself as it hit him on the head and missed Rosalie, she would have killed me. He caught the DVD on its descent to the ground and looked at it briefly before flashing me a cheeky smile.

"Well... it's your favourite Edward..." He laughed, and looked behind me, I turned my head to see Bella standing in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest with a huge smile on her face, obviously trying to keep herself from laughing. I turned back to Emmett and scowled.

"What else have you done?" My eyes screwed up into what I hoped was a menacing glare. But he just laughed again.

"Well, as I didn't do this... nothing!" He laughed again, and Rosalie smacked him lightly on the chest before looking up at me apologetically.

I scowled again and stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind me, Bella moving aside to let me go into my room and search for anything out of the ordinary.

"Calm down Edward" She said lightly, still trying not to laugh.

"Calm down? He's trying to make me look stupid in front of you!" I said, flinging the cushions, comforter and pillows off from my bed and onto the floor just to check he'd not put anything there. Bella stood staring at me, before walking over to me and putting her hands on each of my arms and looking into my eyes.

"I suggest you put all of that back Edward, and calm down. Anything stupid... I'll assume it's Emmett ok?"

I nodded reluctantly and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips, instantly calming me. We both set to work making my bed look respectable again, smoothing down the comforter and plumping the pillows and cushions.

There was a knock on my door and I turned to see my mother smiling at us.

"Is everything ok? I heard you shouting?"

"It's fine Mom, just Emmett... being Emmett" I said, sighing as I realised I'd over reacted ever so slightly. I turned my head to look at Bella who was still plumping cushions.

"He's only playing Edward..." My Mom laughed and leaned against the door frame.

"No Mom, he was playing when we were 12, he's just being an ass now!" I said as I threw a cushion at the headboard and it landed haphazardly on the pillows.

"Edward! Don't speak like that in front of Bella!"

"Oh... no. Don't mind me!" Bella blushed a little and shook her head, my mother smiled warmly at her.

"Are you settling in ok dear? Edward thought you might be more comfortable in the sp-"

"Bella's going to stay with me Mom" I interjected.

"Oh, well that's fantastic. Please treat our home like your own Bella, it's so nice to have a girlfriend of _Edward's_ in the house, it's never happened before..."

"I've not _had_ a girlfriend before Mom" I sighed exasperatedly. My family obviously set on scaring Bella away.

"Thank you Mrs Cul... Esme" Bella corrected herself, "You have a beautiful home"

"Why thank you Bella! I do try my best, but of course it always looks best when the boy's aren't here to make mess!"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her character assassination, and Bella laughed politely, glancing at me briefly.

"Have you been to see your father yet? I know Chief Swan has missed you since you left for Phoenix"

I held my breath as I waited for Bella to answer, wondering whether she would mention anything about why she'd left, or who she'd left because of.

"Um no I haven't. I think I'm going to go and visit him tomorrow evening and have dinner with him, as long as you don't have any plans of course?"

"No Bella, you must go and see him. We were considering going out for dinner tonight actually if you wanted to?"

Bella turned to look at me for a response. And I nodded looking at my mother.

"That would be great Mom, thank you"

"Yes, thank you Esme, that would be lovely" Bella followed and smiled.

"Excellent. Well we've booked a table for 8, so if you're both ready for 7:30 that would be great?"

"No problem Mom" I answered as she turned to leave.

"I'm just going to go and ask your brother and Rosalie, although I know he never passes on a free meal"

Bella laughed and walked over to me as my mother shut the door behind her. I wound my arms around Bella's waist and pulled her to me.

"I hope you're ready for an interrogation!" I laughed, and Bella suddenly looked panicked. "I'm not being serious! Nothing heavy, they'll just want to get to know you, don't worry!" I said and pecked her on the forehead. She rested her head on my chest and breathed heavily.

"What have you said about school?"

"Nothing"

"What about Emmett?"

"What _about_ Emmett?" I repeated her question.

"Well what if he says something?"

"Let's just hope he doesn't" I said and rested my chin on her head, holding her close to me. I don't think my parents would ever forgive me if they thought of me as a High School bully.

At 7:25 Bella and myself made our way down the stairs and met my mother and father in foyer. Bella, to my annoyance had decided to change in my adjoining bathroom, rather than in front of me. She was wearing a long white shirt dress, with a big belt cinching in at her waist. Seeing her in white made me want to rip her clothes off and ravish her, and I would try my hardest to make that happen later. Her hair hung in loose curls down her back and she had put a little make up on.

"You look lovely Bella" My mother cooed as we were walking down the last few stairs, I was a few stairs in front of Bella, and looked up to admire her, holding her hand as she focussed on each step. She looked up at my mother and smiled, but stumbled slightly on a step and fell into me, but I grabbed her waist before she fell and set her back up. No harm done. Just have to try and stop distractions while managing stairs.

"Emmett!" My father calmly called up the stairs.

"Yup!" Emmett boomed as he walked out of the kitchen with Rosalie.

"I thought you were upstairs?"

"No, Rosie wanted a drink... so we came downstairs... is that a problem?"

"Of course not Emmett dear. Now let's get going shall we? Edward, if you drive Bella and yourself then Emmett and Rosalie can drive us in the Jeep" My mother suggested, so I took Bella's hand and smiled wickedly before leading her to the garage.

Emmett pulled away in his jeep with the rest of the family, and I led Bella to my Volvo, smiling proudly.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, hitting the key to open the doors, and walking round to her side to open the door for her. Hoping she would love my car as much as I did. And I really did love it.

"You're being weird Cullen!" She said, giggling as she followed me around to her side of the car. "Whose car is this anyway? Your Mom's?"

I stood in front of the open door to stop her getting in and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"It's mine..."

"Shut up this is your car!"

"It _is_!" Was it so hard to believe that I had a nice car? I was almost stamping my foot in frustration like a child.

"Well... it's a bit... well..." I cocked another eyebrow at her, daring her to continue with her car bashing.

"A bit what?"

"Well first I find out you _love_ Zac Efron and now you drive a girly car? It's a bit of a shock Edward!" She laughed, backing away from me, obviously expecting some kind of physical response. I shook my head and stepped out of her way, walking calmly around to the driver's door and got in. After a few seconds, Bella got into the car, a small smile playing on her lips, a nervous smile. The split second she shut the door and put her seatbelt on I reversed harshly out of the garage, wheel spinning on the drive before heading to the restaurant.

Bella's face was a mixture of shock, thrill and terror.

"Edward! How _fast_ are you going?!" She yelled over the rev of the engine as I changed into fifth gear, oh yeah!

I sat with a small smile on my face, staying stoically silent as she continued to berate my driving. After a while of this I turned my face to her slightly, her eyes widening even more, I smiled wickedly and then faced the road again, continuing my silence.

When we pulled into the parking lot for the restaurant, Emmett and Rose were standing by the Jeep. I parked up and put the hand brake on, undoing my seatbelt and climbing out of the car. Bella hadn't gotten out yet, resting a hand on the top of the car and one on my open door I bent down and looked into the car, to see her staring at me in shock.

"We're here" I said, smiling sweetly at her. She blinked and then watched her hand as she released herself from the seatbelt and climbed out of the car. She stood up and straightened herself out, staring at me above the car, I walked around to her side, but she'd stormed off to Emmett and Rosalie before I could get to her.

"What the hell happened?" Rosalie exclaimed as she saw Bella storming towards her. I laughed, and Bella whipped her head around to glare at me.

"You insulted the car didn't you Bella?" Emmett laughed, patting me on the back. "You'll get over it won't you Eddie?" I glared at him... "Edward...sorry!"

"Oh my God, you two are pathetic!" Rosalie added, grabbing Bella's hand and leading her to the restaurant entrance. I shook Emmett off and walked in beside him.

We stood at the host stand for a second before I spotted my Mom and Dad at a big table, waving us over, so I took Bella's hand and squeezed it tightly as she tried to shake me off. She turned her head to me again and glared, and I frowned back, still smiling though.

When we all got to the table we took our seats, Bella was opposite me sat next to Rosalie, and I sat next to Emmett.

Bella was trying her best to ignore me, but I kept my gaze on her, and noticed when she slipped up and glanced at me from over her menu, I would smirk at her, and she would frown and cover her face again.

"So, Bella. You met Edward at college then?" My mother asked, after we'd all ordered. Bella put down the knife she'd been fiddling with and looked at me before looking back to my mother.

"Erm, yeah I did. I was in a room with Rosalie and Alice, so I met him the first night."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett open his mouth to speak before, luckily, my father stepped in.

"Ah, love at first sight!" He beamed at me, but Emmett spluttered and nearly spat his water all over Rosalie, who did not look impressed at her near drenching.

"Um, not exactly Dad." I answered, before turning to Bella and shrugging helplessly. I hadn't expected this interrogation today.

"It's a little complicated actually Carlisle. I'm sure Edward will fill you in when he has a few spare hours!" Bella laughed nervously, her eyes widening at me in panic.

As if he was literally going to burst at the seams if he didn't say it, Emmett suddenly let rip. "A _little_ complicated?! You could write a fucking novel about this shit!"

"Emmett!" My mother whispered harshly, her eyes wide as she scanned the room for witnesses. "Your language is atrocious!"

"Oops! Sorry!" Emmett offered up, a bit sheepishly.

When our food came the conversation moved on to Emmett's course at College, a welcome break from relationship talk with my parents. I looked over to Bella as I put a forkful of food into my mouth, she was still angry. She cocked and eyebrow at me in annoyance and turned herself towards the conversation, saying something that made everybody laugh.

At the end of dinner, we all got up out of our seats and headed for the door. We stood outside in the parking lot for a little while, just chatting. My father came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Son, can I have a quick word?" I nodded and followed him a short distance away from the others.

"Bella is lovely Edward" I turned to look at Bella, smiling to myself as I saw her play fighting with Emmett, she was currently on his back, her arms wrapped around his neck laughing loudly as he thrashed around trying to throw her off. As I turned my head back to face my Dad I saw him watching me as I smiled at Bella.

"She is isn't she?" I agreed with him.

"Your mother is thrilled. She can't stop talking about you both."

"What do you mean?"

"She said she's never seen you so happy, and that you've made her the proudest woman in the world. I think she's planning your wedding son!"

"You better be joking Dad!" I laughed at his absurdity. "Alice would kill us" I added under my breath, and saw my Dad smile.

"There's something in your eyes when you look at her Edward. I've never seen it before"

I looked back over to Bella who was now standing in front of Emmett looking up as he towered over her, as if they were squaring up for a fight. I saw my father's gaze follow mine. "I love her" I whispered, barely audible but I knew he would hear it.

"Then fight for her. No matter what." My father said as he patted my shoulder and walked back to the others. I frowned for a second while I wondered what he could possibly mean. Why would I have to fight for _my_ Bella? I shook the thought off and wandered back over to them, just as Bella looked like she was about to pounce on Emmett again. I grabbed her by the waist from behind and held her up in the air with ease as she struggled.

"Woah there Bells, it'll end in tears!" I laughed, then reconsidered, "Or more likely, a trip to the ER!"

"Edward get OFF me!" Bella squealed, "I haven't forgiven you!"

"Come on guys, in the car, I don't want to witness a domestic!" Emmett said dramatically as I put Bella back on the ground. She spun around to face me as Emmett pulled out of the lot with everyone in his car, he honked his horn as the sped away, and I looked down at Bella. I smirked and she glared at me murderously.

"Forgiven _me_?" I asked, still smirking. "_You_ should be grovelling for forgiveness!"

"_ME?!_" She shouted, pushing my chest in an attempt to push me away from her, but I stayed where I was, much to her annoyance. "You nearly killed me!"

"Bella you were never in any danger!" I rolled my eyes, which seemed to anger her even more.

"I _was!_ You're a maniac! I didn't even _do_ anything!"

"Didn't _do_ anything? Youcalled my car girly!"

"That's because it _is_! It's pretty and girly!" I opened my mouth to argue but she put her finger to my lips, "And then you just got in and didn't say anything and you looked so calm, and all I wanted to do was..." She looked down at the floor.

"What?" I asked. "What did you want to do? Spray paint it pink?" I scoffed, her indifference to my pride and joy frustrating me intensely.

"I wanted to... ugh!" She finished and threw herself up to me, her lips crashing onto mine, catching me by surprise, making me stumble back a bit, but found myself leaning against a lamp post in the parking lot. My hands rested on her hips pulling her closer to me, groaning into the kiss.

All too soon she pulled away from me, leaving me breathless, leaning against a lamp post, yearning for her touch.

"When you didn't do it... it annoyed me. I thought you were going to!" She smiled.

"What? So all that, in the restaurant, was coz I didn't pull over somewhere and fuck you?" I smirked, but she shook her head.

"I told you. I'm not doing that here" I felt my eyes widen. We were going to be here for a week, and she wouldn't let me... oh god. "I just wanted to kiss you..." She smirked at me.

"I thought it was just at the house that you weren't going to..."

"No Edward. I'm not sneaking around just to have sex with you. You can wait a week can't you?"

"No" I stated simply. What did she mean _just_ to have sex? She loved it! I started walking towards her with my arms out to catch her into my grasp but she stepped away.

"Edward!" She laughed "I'm not going to argue about this with you... coz when we argue it always ends in... well... sex."

"I want to argue" I rushed out, a little too quickly to sound calm, I cocked an eyebrow at her and she laughed again. "Please Bella? Let's have a row! Have it out...so to speak!" I chuckled.

"You're ridiculous Edward" She giggled at me walking towards the car. I half ran after her.

"Ok ok ok. No rows. No sex. Got it." She turned to look at me questioningly. "Can we do... other things?" I knew I was practically begging now.

"That depends entirely..."

"On?"

"On whether..." She got up on her tip toes, rested her hand on my shoulder and let her lips ghost the shell of my ear as she whispered, "you're a good boy". My dick instantly hardened and I groaned, letting my head fall forward as she pulled away from me.

"No way Bella. You can't leave me like that!"

"Come on Champ, let's take your pretty girly car for a drive back!"

I groaned again in both frustration about her insulting my car again, and at the raging hard on that was threatening to live with me constantly for an entire week. I walked towards the car unlocking it and climbing in, rolling my eyes as she smirked as she noticed my problem.

"Well what did you expect babe?" I laughed.

But I had an idea. She may _think_ that she doesn't want to have sex with me, but if I didn't keep talking about it, she wouldn't have anyone to argue with, and it would just go over and over in her mind. If I _ignored_ the idea of sex, well, out loud anyway, then she would go crazy. She was banking on the fact that I would keep pestering her, so it would make it easy to turn me down. She would come to me _begging_ for it in a few days. I hoped.

**A/N**

**The next few chapters aren't very light-hearted I'm afraid. I did intend for them to be but the story just went whatever way my mind was thinking at the time. So... just brace yourself for some hard times okies? x**


	13. Chapter 13

BPOV

The drive home from the restaurant was slightly slower than the drive there, but definitely still too fast for my liking, Edward seemed perfectly calm, other than his huge hard on which hadn't gone yet, I felt bad to be honest. I looked over at him, studying his face as he drove. His brow was a little furrowed, and he squinted slightly when he met the headlights of cars coming the other way, when he changed gears his lips pursed into a pout before settling back into a narrow line. I noticed the corner of his lip pull up, as his eyebrows raised.

"Are you going to keep staring at me while I'm driving Bella? It's _very_ distracting" He kept his eyes on the road, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Uh...I wasn't. I wasn't staring" I snapped my head back round to face forward.

"Don't lie sweetheart. I know I'm irresistible!" He turned his head to me a little and grinned.

"And _such_ a charmer!" I drawled sarcastically.

"So... did you enjoy your ogling?" He laughed as he shifted gear.

"Ogling?"

"Yes. Ogling." He turned to look at me again, smiling, "You were checking me out Swan, don't deny it!"

"You're so full of yourself you know that?" I retorted, laughing at his big headedness. "I was feeling sorry for you actually, coz I obviously had a... _big_... impression on you!" I tilted my head and gestured down to his crotch.

"Well yes. I'm not too proud to admit it. I want to have sex with you."

"Well... you can't"

"So you say" His lips pursed, staring at the road in front of him.

"Yes I do say" I watched as his expression didn't change, "Why are you pulling that face?"

He fought back a laugh, "There's no face babe"

"Edward?!"

"Bella... there's no face!" He said, turning to me and smiling.

"What are you planning?" He was making me suspicious. I knew he was scheming something.

"I'm not _planning_ anything!"

"You infuriate me Cullen!" I exclaimed, exasperated, and folded my arms across my chest in a huff.

We pulled into the driveway and Edward parked up. Putting the handbrake on and taking his seatbelt off, shifting in his seat to face me. Smirking again.

"But you love me don't you Swan?"

I wasn't going to say it out loud, I wasn't going to let him win. I angrily got myself free from my constraint and threw the door open before climbing out of the car, slamming it behind me. I heard him rush out of the car after me.

"Hey!"

I spun around to face him, he was standing by the car, one hand resting on top of the open door. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Watch the car, yeah?" He laughed and I let out an exasperated sigh before turning around to the house again, climbing the stairs to the door.

I heard the beeping of the car as it locked and waited for Edward to come and open the door for me, which he swiftly did, indicating for me to go in before him.

"Drink?" He asked, setting his keys down on a small table in the hallway.

"Just a water, thank you" I said curtly.

"Are you sure? We have pretty much anything here" He asked, walking into the kitchen. I followed slowly behind him.

"No thank you. Just water"

He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge for me and walked over to me, placing it in my hands. A shock went through me as our hands touched.

"One water" He whispered, he was stood so close to me that as he spoke I could feel his breath fan across my face. I tilted my head up to look at him and was suddenly overcome by his intense stare, his bright green eyes boring lust filled holes into mine. I got up onto tip toes and tilted my head to the side, I shut my eyes as I leaned forward more, hoping to catch his lips with mine and was shocked to feel him step away.

"I'm sorry Bella" My eyes snapped open, and I stared at him in disbelief. "I can't do that. It's going to be difficult enough for me this week, I've rethought what I said earlier. I can't do anything with you, it'll just make it harder for me." He has got to be kidding me! This is Edward Cullen! I don't think he's gone a week without any kind of sexual contact since he was 15! "But hey, it's only a week!" He shrugged nonchalantly.

"So you won't even kiss me?" I sounded like a petulant child begging for sweets.

"I'm sorry Bella, you understand though don't you?" I nodded lightly as he put a hand on my shoulder and kissed the top of my head, turning to leave the kitchen.

"Ready for bed sweetheart?"

I nodded again, not trusting that my voice wouldn't beg him for sex. This had been _my_ idea after all, I hadn't really thought about what his reaction would have been, but I definitely wasn't expecting this!

I followed him up to his room and took my stuff into his bathroom to get changed. When I came back out in a pair of black cotton ass skimming shorts and t-shirt I was surprised to see him in bed already.

"Tired are you?" I joked.

"A little" He murmured, pulling back the comforter on my side of the bed and gesturing for me to climb in beside him.

"Are you sure this is ok? This won't be... too hard for you?"

"I think I'll be able to handle this, thanks babe"

That night, I fell asleep, Edward's arm wrapped tentatively around my waist. I woke in the middle of the night, he had pulled me closer to him, like he would have normally, and I thought about his sudden change of mind regarding our sex life. I fell asleep again, still totally confused.

***

I woke the next morning to the familiar feeling of Edward's morning wood pressing against me. I smiled to myself and turned over, his arm still wound around me.

Completely forgetting his no kissing rule he had passed last night I reached up and kissed his cheeks, and then his nose, and just as I was leaning towards his lips I heard him chuckle to himself slightly, he opened his sleepy eyes and looked at me.

"Morning beautiful" He smiled, and then his eyes widened and he jumped out of the bed. "Sorry Bella!" He exclaimed sheepishly as he glanced down at his morning wood and rushed off to the bathroom, and I'm sure I saw a smirk on his face as he shut the door behind him.

As he showered in the bathroom, a cold one I'm sure. All I could think about was how a morning like this would have gone if we were at College. He would have pulled me on top of him and ran his hands up and down my thighs. I would have leant down and kissed him deeply, my hands running through his hair and pulling on it, hearing him groan into the kiss.

I shut my eyes as I thought about it and pushed my head back into the pillows.

Then he would have gripped my hips and turned us over so that I was below him, and he would have kissed me again, moving down to my collarbone and neck when he needed to breathe. I would run my hands over his back and sigh his name. The he would have moved his hand down my side, coming to rest between my legs, before he used his masterful fingers to drive me crazy, pumping in and out of me as his thumb circled my clit.

I back arched and I groaned slightly as I thought about everything he would do, my eyes still clenched shut, and my hands gripping the sheets into fists beside me.

"Bells?"

I froze.

"Bella... you ok?" He sounded amused. I opened one eye tentatively, and scanned the room for him, my one open eye settled on him. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, hanging precariously low, almost like it was threatening to drop at any second.

I relaxed all of my muscles, forcing myself to lie flat against the bed again, I unclenched my fists and let the sheets go, and smoothed them out as I sat up, leaning against the headboard, opening my eyes and glancing at him.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine Edward"

"What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing" I replied curtly. Wishing he would drop the subject.

"I've only ever seen you like that when... well... when we-"

"Look Edward, it'll be _too_ _hard_ for you to hear what I was thinking about ok?" I gushed out, exasperated at the whole situation. Begging for him to take the hint.

"Aah... you were thinking about _sex_ weren't you Bella?" He teased, chuckling lightly to himself.

"Well it's _your_ fault Edward!" I exclaimed, slamming my hands down on the duvet for dramatic effect. "If you hadn't banned any kind of physical contact I wouldn't even be thinking about it!"

"Oh come on! Like it's my fault you're lusting after my body!" He laughed again, teasing me.

"I hate you" I murmured, pouting grumpily again.

"Now tell me Bella." Edward started, walking towards the bed, "Why is it that I've never seen this pout before, and now I've seen it twice in as many days?" He asked, ghosting his fingers over my lips, and I flinched away from his touch.

"Don't Edward" I sighed, "Don't start something you have no intention of finishing..."

"What do you want me to do Bella?" He whispered, kneeling between my legs and resting his arms either side of me. His head leaning close to mine, tilted to the side slightly.

"I want you to..." Fuck me senseless. No. I know he wouldn't. "Ugh Edward... I want you to..." I shut my eyes and rested my head back against the wall.

"What Bella?"

"Just kiss me. Please?" I whispered hoarsely. I wanted so much more than that, but this was my rule I had made. Edward had just tried to make it easier on himself and I had to respect that. I opened my eyes slowly, his face was so close to mine, lips millimetres apart I glanced down to his lips and then back up to his eyes. I saw the conflict in them as he stared into mine.

"You know I can't do that" He sighed, pushing himself up and away from me. Grabbing clothes from his closet quickly and rushing off to the bathroom again, locking the door behind him.

I groaned in desperation and grabbed the pillow next to me, bringing it up to my face, shouting into it.

When I uncovered my face I found Edward sitting on the bed in front of me.

"Just don't!" I moaned. Getting up, grabbing my stuff and rushing into the bathroom, much like he'd done earlier.

When I emerged about half an hour later, Edward was no longer in the room. I pulled my hair up into a loose bun and headed down the stairs.

"Good morning Bella!" Esme greeted me while plating up pancakes.

"Morning" I said as lightly as possible, hoping not to dampen anyone else's mood. I glanced around the room and saw Edward sitting at the breakfast bar, fiddling with a fork in his hands, like I've seen him do on many occasions before when he was wither angry or frustrated.

"Hey Bells! You forgiven Edward yet?" Emmett shouted from the other side of the room.

"Um... Yeah, just about" I murmured, glancing up as Edward attempted to smile at me, but it seemed more like a grimace.

"Do you like pancakes Bella? I've made plenty for everybody!" Esme asked as she walked towards the breakfast bar where Edward was sat. I hopped onto the stool next to him, and he put his hand on my thigh instantly, steadying me. But pulled it away again just as quick.

"I love them, thank you Esme!"

Just as I was about to get my first pancake Emmett rushed through and grabbed the entire plateful, squeezing syrup all over them and throwing a few rashers of bacon on top.

"Emmett!" Edward complained, turning in his seat as we watched Emmett walk back to Rosalie with the plate of food.

"Edward... I made more. Did you think I wasn't expecting that?" Esme giggled to herself as she set another plate in front of Edward and me.

As we ate, Esme made conversation with us.

"So what are you going to do today?"

"Well Bella's going to her Dad's tonight remember Mom?" Edward answered as I stuffed pancake into my mouth. "But before that I guess we'll just hang around here or go for a drive somewhere"

The thought of staying in the house without being able to touch Edward or kiss him made me ache, I hoped he decided on the drive. But then the idea of sitting in a small car, right next to him, wasn't any more appealing to me. I sighed in frustration at the situation. Stupid Bella. Stupid sex ban!

"Why don't you play her that song you wrote on the piano?" Esme suggested and I turned my head sharply to Edward. "I bet she'd love to hear it, he really is wonderful" Esme said as she turned to look at me, pride washing over her face.

"No Mom" Edward shook his head.

"Edward, I'd like to hear it" I said to him, and he turned to look at me, I hadn't even realised he could play, he'd never mentioned it before.

"Really?"

"Of course" I smiled. "I'd love to"

"Well I've been working on something in my head for a while actually, I'd like to practice, so maybe tonight? When you get back from your Dad's?" His face genuinely lit up talking about music, I've never seen him so enthusiastic about anything before. I nodded and he leaned over to me, as if he were going to kiss me, but he hesitated before tilting his head and kissing me on the cheek. I let out a breath I didn't realise I had been holding.

After breakfast we walked back up the stairs to Edward's room, I slumped down onto to the bed and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry Bells", his voice was strained, I knew this was just as difficult for him as it was for me. I threw an arm over my face to hide my embarrassment.

"Bells, what can I do? What can I do to help?"

"You know what!" I groaned, still with my arm covering my eyes so I didn't have to look at him. I didn't even know whereabouts in the room he was.

"And you know I can't do that so name something else!" He sounded almost angry, his voice short and hoarse, "Or... you could change your mind"

"No"

"Well it's a no from me as well then. I can't do all of this without thinking that we might..."

"I get the picture Edward! Just put a movie on or something!" I sat up on the bed and watched him walk over to his DVD wall, it looked like he was mumbling to himself, but it was inaudible to me.

He walked back over with one of my favourite films ever, which I didn't even realise he owned, I hadn't seen it yesterday when I'd been snooping on his collection. Gossip, it had James Marsden in it, and he was pretty hot to be honest, he could take my mind off Edward for a while until I went to Charlie's.

***

The movie had been uncomfortable, we'd not spoken, and we were sitting as far away from each other as possible, I was lying on his bed, with him sitting on the other side of the room on his black leather couch. His eyes were glossed over, I'm not sure if he was paying attention, I certainly wasn't. All I could think about was having his hands all over me, not even James could hold my attention long enough to stop me from drifting to thoughts of Edward.

When the credits started rolling he stood up immediately and turned the television off. He put the DVD back in the box and put it back in its place on the shelf. His head turned to me slowly and he murmured grumpily.

"Better drive you to Charlie's then"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks"

He turned and left the room immediately, and I slowly followed, by the time I was downstairs he was standing in the hallway, swinging his keys on his finger, whistling to himself. When he saw me he looked emotionless before turning and leaving, hitting the button on his keys opening the car. I walked outside and climbed into the car beside him. The tension in the car as he drove me to Charlie's was thick, and he only nodded curtly when I had to give him directions, as he'd never been to Charlie's house before this.

When he pulled to a stop, he turned in his chair as I undid my seatbelt and glanced up at him.

"Are you gonna come in and meet him?"

"I thought maybe later tonight? When I come to pick you up, what do you think?"

"That's probably a good idea actually, I'll get him fed first" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I wasn't in the mood for this at the moment, I just wanted my old Edward back. And I knew how to do that. "Edwa-"

Then he leaned forward and pecked me on the lips firmly but quickly, he flashed me a grin. "I love you Bella, it's not about the sex... or lack thereof. Ok? I'm not asking you to change your mind. I'm fine, they're my rules"

"But Edward I w-" He put his finger to my lips before leaning in to me again and replacing his finger with his lips for an even shorter, light kiss. I guessed these kisses were just to appease me before I go and freak out Charlie by being moody.

"I love you", he whispered, grinning at me again. "Have fun, ring me when you're ready and I'll be here"

I nodded and whispered back, "I love you", before turning and climbing out of the car, watching him speed away.

"That's Edward then is it?"

I looked up and saw Charlie standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, staring after the Volvo.

"Drives a little fast don't you think?"

"Dad!"I exclaimed and walked up the stairs, we hugged awkwardly, neither comfortable with intimacy like this, but it felt like it was needed.

"You look good Bells"

"Thank you, so do you!"

He led me into the house, nothing had changed since I left, absolutely nothing. I felt quite at home walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge to see if there was anything I could salvage for dinner.

"You don't have to cook for me Bella"

"I want to"

"I'm not going to argue! I've missed your cooking!"

I smiled weakly, pulling ingredients for spaghetti Bolognese out of the fridge and starting to put it all together.

Once dinner was made we sat down at the small table in the kitchen, eating in a comfortable silence.

"Do I get to meet him then? This fast driver?"

"You mean Edward?" I laughed, his Police Chief side taking over, "Yes, he's coming to pick me up later, he'd like to meet you"

"Good, then I shall ask him what his intentions are with my daughter" He said it seriously, but I could tell he was joking so I laughed lightly to myself. "Was he in your class at High School?"

I felt my eyes widen under this scrutiny, this is something I definitely hadn't expected Charlie to bring up, he'd never been too observant before, and I cursed to myself that he chose now of all times to suddenly take notice.

"Um... yeah. We didn't speak much though."

"Weird you met at College eh? Did you recognise each other?"

"Not exactly" I rushed out, picking up both of our plates and starting on the washing up. Charlie sat at the table for a while, before leaving me to it and going to watch a game on the T.V.

Once I was finished with the washing up, I wandered through into the living room and saw Charlie asleep on the couch. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and hit Edward's number, he answered after 2 rings, and I thought I could hear the end tones of a piano key being played, maybe he'd been practicing?

"_Bella"_ He sighed, almost relieved.

"Do you want to come and get me? Charlie's asleep"

"_Oh. Well, if you're ready"_

"Yeah, I'm ready. I'll make sure he's up for when you get here don't worry"

"_Give me 10 minutes and I'll be there"_

"I love you"

"_I love you too, 10 minutes, bye."_

"Bye"

***

EPOV

Today had officially been the hardest day of my life, in more ways than one! When I woke up this morning to feel her kissing my cheeks I wanted nothing more than to let her continue, but I had a plan and I must stick to it, she would be eating out of the palm of my hand by the time I was finished with my little game!

I'd literally ran to that shower and beat one off so quickly and hard that I almost collapsed against the tiles, I knew then that although my plan was excellent in theory, I'd completely forgotten my body's reaction to Bella, it would betray me.

And then to make things worse, I walked out of the bathroom to see her writhing around on the bed, her hands bunching the sheets around her into fists, her back arched, head thrown back against the pillow, and I could see her hardened nipples through the t-shirt she wore to bed. All I could think about in that moment was rushing over to her and jumping her, and I knew she wouldn't complain... not until after anyway. When she asked me to kiss her I leant forward, our lips were so close we were almost touching, I could feel her breath coming hard against my face and my eyes darted from her closed ones to her lips, her scent from this close was intoxicating, and it took every ounce of strength I had to pull back from her. I was glad that she seemed to sense my frustration, it would help with my plan I think.

While she showered I decided it would be best for me to leave her to it and go downstairs. When I got down I sat at the breakfast bar and nodded to my mother, she smiled brightly.

"Good Morning!"

"Morning Mom"

"Where's Bella?"

"I've broken up with her Mom..." She looked at me startled, I shook my head and laughed to myself, "Where do you think she is? She's just getting ready!"

"Oh... Well don't scare me like that, it would incredibly awkward if t-"

"Mom... It's not going to happen ok? Stay calm" I laughed again and turned my head when I heard Emmett and Rosalie coming into the room.

"Edward my man!" He walked over and patted my back firmly, "Where's the lovely Bella? You wear her out last night did you? You dirty boy!" He laughed loudly and I winced, waiting for my Mother's reaction.

"Emmett... don't be so crude!"

"Emmett you're disgusting" Rosalie murmured and walked over to the couch where she sat down, flicking the channels.

"She's right, you are" I said curtly.

"So you did then yeah?"

"Emmett!"

"I'll just ask her if you don't answer!"

"Don't you dare! Why are you even so bothered?" I was almost shouting, but I didn't want this conversation broadcast to the entire household, including Bella.

"Just wanting to see if you've finally christened your bed dude!"

"Oh my God Emmett!" I turned away from him angrily and started playing with a fork on the table in front of me. Emmett mumbled something to himself and then went to go and sit with Rosalie.

When Bella came down the stairs she looked frustrated, but put on a brilliant show for my family, Emmett didn't mention anything about last night, only whether she'd forgiven me, so that went as well as possible really. Maybe he could tell by the look on my face that I didn't look like I'd just spent the evening having sex with my beautiful girlfriend on my bed which had only ever seen the sexual encounters of the solo kind.

When my mother brought up the fact that I could play the piano I could have died of mortification. I hadn't told Bella for the specific reason that it made me seem even more like a girl. That mixed with my beautiful Volvo and the stupid prank Emmett had played, it wasn't going well. But then when she said that she wanted to hear me play my heart skipped a beat, it reminded me that I'd had this tune going round and round in my head recently, and I really wanted to put pen to paper and write it out, I told her I would work on it and she could hear me play when she got back from Charlie's.

I instinctively leaned over to kiss her, but remembered my rule just before I got there, and diverted myself to her cheek, she let out a deep breath in frustration, I was close to doing it myself, but that would have given me away slightly.

When we'd gone back up to my room she'd just looked so... helpless, lying on my bed. And when we'd had our mini argument about our respective issues I just had to stay silent otherwise I would give her everything she wanted. She told me to put a movie on, so I chose what I knew to be her favourite film, I'd bought it once to help me win a girl over, and it had worked, a bit of James Marsden and the ladies love it. Neither of us seemed relaxed through the film though, I kept glancing over at Bella who was on my bed, while I kept my distance and sat on my couch. Her face was tense, I could tell she wasn't concentrating on the movie anymore than I was, and I was so happy when it finished.

I drove her to Charlie's house in complete silence, when I pulled up outside I turned in my seat to face her, she undid her seatbelt and looked up at me through her eyelashes.

"Are you gonna come in and meet him?" She looked hopefully at me, I shook my head minutely.

"I thought maybe later tonight? When I come to pick you up, what do you think?"

"That's probably a good idea actually, I'll get him fed first" It sounded like she was trying to be amusing, but her heart wasn't in it, I smiled warily. I was upsetting her with my plan, and that definitely wasn't my intention. She opened her mouth to speak again, "Edwa-"

I'd give her a little of what she wanted, to remind her I love her. I leant forward swiftly and placed a quick but firm kiss on her lips, as I pulled away she looked shocked and her eyes were wide, "I love you Bella, it's not about the sex... or lack thereof. Ok? I'm not asking you to change your mind. I'm fine, they're my rules"

"But Edward I w-" She started again, I got the feeling she was about to end her ban, but I didn't want it be like this. I wanted it to be when she was literally aching from not having me, and me from her. I placed a finger to her lips to silence her before leaning down and kissing her again, even quicker this time, but I saw a hint of a smile when I pulled away again.

"I love you", I whispered, smiling at her. "Have fun, ring me when you're ready and I'll be here"

"I love you", she nodded, whispering, before climbing out of the car. As I drove away I looked at her through my mirror, she was watching me drive away, and then I saw her father standing at the door, that would be a nice little shock for her.

I drove home slowly, not in any hurry to go back to a house where Bella wasn't there, it would seem strangely empty without her, even after all these years of Rosalie and Emmett sitting around like pieces of old furniture and my parents hovering around.

I got home and parked the car, getting out and heading for the door. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked at the display, I answered and held it up to my ear.

"Jazz, how're you?"

"_Oh I'm good thanks dude, Alice's insane mother is hassling me again though"_

"Just tell her you're too young to get married and that you're perfectly happy living in sin!" I laughed down the phone, Jasper groaned in response.

"_I don't understand though. Is she that desperate to get rid of her daughter?"_ I laughed again, _"Anyway what you doing man?"_

"Nothing much, just dropped Bella off at Chief Swan's"

"_Oh... you meet him?"_

"Well no. I'm gonna do that later, I'm hoping he doesn't recognise me to be honest. I've met him a few times in the past!"

"_Didn't he catch you going at it with Jessica Stanley in the forest?"_

"Well how was I supposed to know that it was _his_ house right there! That's the worst luck imaginable!" I laughed, but inside I was bricking it. If he _did_ remember me from that he would most likely tell Bella and then my life would pretty much be over.

"_Well... let's hope he doesn't remember you, I'm not sure he'd be too pleased to find out you were dating his only daughter!" _He paused for a response but I didn't supply one so he carried on._ "What are you gonna do now then? Alice wants to go out, we were thinking of going for a few drinks somewhere with lenient bouncers? She's already invited Em and Rose"_

"I don't think so man, I've gotta do this thing, and then I've gotta go pick Bella up, so can't be doing that with a few drinks inside me. Tomorrow though yeah?"

"_No problem dude. I'll talk to you tomorrow"_

"Definitely, have fun tonight, laters"

"_Catch you later"_

I hung up the phone, notably cheerier, Jasper always seemed to have this kind of calming influence on me, and I was grateful for it. I walked into the house and put my keys down on the table. It seemed like nobody was in, there were no lights on, and I couldn't hear anybody moving around. Emmett and Rosalie had probably already gone to Alice's, and to be honest, my mother could be absolutely anywhere. My father was doing a double shift at the hospital so he wasn't expected back until much, much later.

I walked into the kitchen, turning the lights on around the house as I went, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and made my way to my baby grand piano. As I scanned over it with my eyes I felt my heart beat speed up slightly and I smiled to myself, music was my passion, and to be able to share it with Bella was making me nervous.

I sat down and took a swig from my water before setting back down on the floor beside me. I ran my fingers along the keys before playing a simply chord scale and melody. Then I set to work playing the piece that had been playing in my head. After a few tries I would get it right and write it down on the sheet music I had in front of me, just in case I were to forget it.

I'd let my time run away with me, and before I knew it, I was playing it through whilst reading the score to make sure I'd written it all correctly, that's when my phone rang, I picked it up immediately, the last note I hit still echoing from the foot pedal I hadn't let go of yet.

Bella had asked me to go and pick her up, so as soon as I was off the phone I left the room, hitting the light off and grabbing my keys. I got into the car and drove back to Charlie's house, I could feel beads of sweat starting to form on the base of neck in anticipation. I prayed to God that Charlie didn't have a good memory.

I pulled up outside the house and turned the car off, checking my hair in the mirror before climbing out of the car. I stood by the door for a few moments, mentally preparing myself before knocking purposefully on the door.

Bella came to the door and I saw her face light up when she saw me, seeing her face do that just because she saw me made my heart fly. I was so lucky to have a girl like Bella, I smiled brightly.

"Bella, love"

"Edward come in!" She grabbed my hand with both of hers, pulling me in through the doorway and shutting the door behind me.

She got my hand in hers again and looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. I let out a deep breath in nervousness and she giggled, pulling me into a small room. Charlie was sat on the couch with a beer in his hand, staring at the television.

"Dad? This is Edward" I looked down at Bella while she said it, she looked just as nervous as I felt, but there was also a sense of pride in her tone. She was proud of me, weird, wonderful Bella. I jerked my head down to Charlie as he stood up, walking over to us both.

"Edward...? Cullen?"

"Um..." I cleared my throat, which was suddenly dry, "Yes, sir. It's nice to meet you" I held my hand out for a hand shake which he ignored.

"Have I met you before?"

I felt my eyes widen in panic and then felt Bella pull on my arm lightly.

"You've met everyone Dad, you're Chief of Police remember?" She laughed

"I guess you're right Bells" He looked at me again, before scratching the back of his head, "Erm, it's nice to meet you then I guess"

I widened my eyes again and nodded quickly, he suddenly looked apologetic, "Look, sorry, I don't know how any of this works, I just get my daughter back after... well... too many years, and I'm faced with the boyfriend."

I laughed a little, "I know, I'm sorry, too many shocks in one day I guess"

"Yeah, something like that... you want a beer Edward?"

Right, I had to be careful now, this could be a police trick. If I said yes and then drove Bella home he would think I was completely irresponsible.

"No thank you sir, I'm driving"

"Good answer, that's a nice car you've got out there by the way"

I turned my head to Bella and cocked an eyebrow at her to show her it wasn't only me that appreciated the beauty that was my Volvo.

"How fast can you get in that then?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but felt a pull on my arm and looked down to Bella who widened her eyes at me.

"Oh... erm... nothing above the speed limits, obviously sir, although I'm sure it can go much faster. I've not tried myself."

"Another good answer"

I nodded and laughed nervously.

After about half an hour Bella told me she was ready to go, so we said our goodbyes, Charlie shaking my hand as I left, I held Bella's door open for her and let her get in before I shut her door and walked around to my side, climbing in and starting the ignition.

"How'd I do?"

I turned to look at Bella who was literally beaming at me, she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me on the cheek.

"You were amazing! I love you!"

I laughed and put my foot on the accelerator, starting the drive home.

We walked through the front door and Bella turned to look at me, she was literally glowing. The house was still empty, it would be the perfect opportunity to... No. The smile she offered me then was the most genuine, happy, smile I'd ever seen in my life.

"So..."

"So..." I repeated, getting lost in her beauty. She laughed at me then, walking towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist, pulling me tight against her. My hands went to either side of her and I held her close to me, kissing the top of her head.

"Do you... do you want to...?" I started.

"Yes Edward" She said stated simply, pushing herself away from me and looking up at me, my eyes widened as I pushed her back a little more, my mouth curling with amusement.

"Hear me play the piano?" She blushed, looked down at the floor, before looking back up at me, shaking her head.

"Yes, obviously... that's what I was answering!" She rushed out harshly and pushed herself away from me completely. "Lead the way"

I smiled and placed my hand on her shoulder, leaning towards her to kiss her on the head again before taking her hand in mine and leading her to my piano in the other room.

I dragged a small couch over so that she could sit on it while I sat myself on my piano stool, settling myself in again by playing a few scales. I glanced over at her, watching her staring intently at my fingers moving across the keys, her eyes flicked up to mine and she smiled at me.

"You're amazing" she breathed.

"This isn't it babe, I'm just... warming up I guess"

"I know that Edward, I'm not completely stupid!" She cocked an eyebrow at me.

With that I moved the sheet music I had written in front of me onto the stand and started to play, I was pretty sure I wouldn't need to look at it, but if I were to glance to my side to see her staring at me like that again, I would be completely distracted and mess up.

As I worked my way through my middle eight, I knew I was close to the end, no mistakes so far, I decided still not to chance a glance up at Bella, not knowing how she would react to this. It was a beautiful melody, even if I do say so myself, but I couldn't help the feeling that Bella had in fact influenced it.

I played the last note and let it sit heavy in the air for a few seconds, before pushing my stool away from the piano making a scraping sound on the floor. I turned my body to look at Bella, who was just sat there, staring at me, emotionless. I sat still, looking at her intently for a while before she spoke.

"Way to impress a girl Cullen!" She laughed, getting up and walking over to me.

"You liked it?"

She simply nodded, all of her emotions playing out in her beautiful brown eyes. "It was absolutely beautiful" She murmured, her voice was raspy, and sexy. "I know you won't allow this Cullen, but I know you want it, and... to be honest, it's the only way I can tell you how beautiful that was" I swallowed heavily, looking up at her as she put a hand on each of my shoulders, lowering herself down to me, so I could see right down her top, my eyes darted back up to her face, and I breathed heavily, swallowing hard again, staring at her mouth as she moved closer and closer to me.

I couldn't turn her down this time. I just couldn't, I needed to feel those lips on mine, and I just needed to feel... her. My hands flew up to the back of her head and pulled her towards me harshly, crashing my lips against hers with a force I can only describe as animalistic, instead of gently asking for permission, my tongue pushed at her mouth forcing entrance and I felt and heard her groan in to the kiss in response. Letting go of her head, my hands worked their way to her backside as I lifted her up effortlessly and sat her down on top of me, making her straddle me on me little piano stool, I felt it wobble slightly underneath me, hoping it wouldn't give way.

"Uh...Edward" She breathed as I pulled away, giving us both time to breathe. I kissed my way up her jawbone to her ear, whispering "ssh" in her ear before returning my mouth to hers, kissing her a little more gently this time, but still with a great amount of frenzy with every movement.

I felt my erection become painful as it pushed against the constraints of my jeans and I groaned into the kiss, Bella moaned softly into my mouth before moving her hips in a circular motion, grinding herself against me.

She took my face in her hands as she pulled away from the kiss, her mouth still open, but her eyes closed. I looked up at her beautiful face, she pulled my face to hers, her cheek resting on my forehead as she continued grinding against my painful hard on, every now and then a soft whimper would escape her lips. Her hands still pressing my face to hers, I continued to marvel in the expressions her face made when my jean-clad hard on would press against her hot centre, also covered by heavy denim jeans. I could feel the sweat pouring down my face as I fought not to throw her against the wall and pound into her. This wasn't sex, but damn it felt so good, I could tell she was close as her whimpers became louder and her movements came faster. I didn't realise she would get so much out of this, let alone reach a climax from it, I wasn't even close. I needed to _feel_ her. Just as I was about to grab her and finish her off properly, I heard two things simultaneously, the front door opened, with Emmett and Rosalie's voices loud and laughing, and the fragile piano stool beneath me groaning under the pressure.

I pulled back forcefully from Bella who hadn't heard either of the noises, but as I did, the stool made a last squeak before collapsing, sending me flying onto the floor, with Bella on top of me, knocking over the bottle of water I had put on the floor earlier, making a large puddle around us. I looked up at Bella, panicked, and her eyes which were now wide with shock, found mine.

Suddenly, and without warning, we both broke down into hysterical laughter, and the main light in the room was switched on.

"What the hell?" Rosalie exclaimed, laughing.

"Edward dude! You broke the furniture!" Emmett laughed louder.

I slapped Bella's ass playfully as a signal for us both to stand up and she obliged, even holding her hand out once she was up to help me. Once we were both up I looked at Bella who looked beautifully dishevelled. Her hair was wild, her cheeks had a near orgasm blush and her clothes looked like they'd been pulled in many directions. I grabbed her hand as she turned her head to look at me, I turned back to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Alright guys?" I said nonchalantly, nodding in their direction.

"Edward..." Emmett started, before turning to Bella, "Is he _that_ good at piano?" he laughed again, causing us all to laugh awkwardly.

"When your Mom see's that she's not going to be happy Edward!" Rosalie smirked, signalling at the mess of a stool on the floor, surrounded by a pool of water.

"Oh who cares?!" I exclaimed, "I'm the only one who plays anyway! Who else is it going to affect! I'll buy another one tomorrow!"

I glanced over at Bella who was staring at the mess on the floor in horror, I pulled on her hand lightly and she turned her head to look up at me, her eyes were wide and she shook her head.

"I'm _so_ sorry!" She whispered.

"So you should be Bella! Coming into our house and breaking the furniture coz you can't keep your hands off _that_ little dickhead!" Emmett laughed, but Bella just looked even more mortified.

"I... ugh... I'm... Sorry" She stuttered, "I'll clean it up", she started to kneel down on the floor to start clearing the broken stool, I took her by the crook of the elbow and pulled her back to a standing position. I kissed the side of her head swiftly and turned her to face me, resting my forehead on hers.

"Just go upstairs babe. I'll be there soon, I promise"

She nodded at me and swiftly but awkwardly passed Emmett and Rosalie in the doorway, Rosalie turned and followed her up the stairs, leaving Emmett and myself in the room.

I leant down and started to pick up the broken pieces of stool, I gathered them all in my arms and started to walk out to the bin outside, I saw Emmett emerging from the kitchen with a mop and bucket for the water, he lifted his head at me in recognition.

"Thanks" I said appreciatively.

When I walked back into the house I saw Emmett clearing up the water, he heard me come in and turned around to look at me, leaning on his mop.

"So... On a piano stool? Bed not good enough?"

"Emmett..."

"That bed has been waiting _years_ to be christened bro... one night is all it gets before you move on? It's heartbreaking!" He mocked, holding his hand to his head in mock disdain and holding the mop away from him.

"Shut up Emmett!" I started, I was so frustrated from earlier that I spoke before my mind had caught up with me, "We haven't even had se-"

"You haven't christened the bed?" His eyes were wide, and a look of amusement washed over his face, "What's the matter with you? You've _finally_ got a girlfriend... an _actual_ girlfriend Edward!"

"I am aware of that thank you Emmett" I said curtly.

"Then why haven't you-?"

"Bella doesn't wa-"

"No _fucking _way does that girl not want to jump your bones bro! We have broken furniture here as evidence!"

"She's being weird... She said not while we're in Forks..." A look of confusion replaced his amusement, "And then I... I had this _plan_, and I thought it was working... but I think breaking the furniture may have put a metaphorical spanner in the works"

I explained the plan in more detail to Emmett, and he actually seemed impressed, giving me suggestions for how to improve on it. I hated talking about Bella in this fashion with Emmett, but I needed some ideas, if tonight was anything to go by, I think she _needed_ me to seduce her into bed this week.

After a chat and a beer with Emmett I headed back up to my bedroom with new ideas in my head. The no touching rule had been torture today, more than I thought it had been, so Emmett had been helpful with a new strategy. Let her do whatever she wants, but stop her mid flow... so to speak, hoping that she'd become frustrated with the entire situation and end it.

I pushed open the door of my room to see Rosalie sitting on my bed with Bella. I hated seeing Rosalie on my bed, especially after having a magnificent creature like Bella grace my sheets, I silently willed her to get off, which, to my surprise she did. She brushed past me lightly as I stood by the door when she walked out of the room. Bella was sat in the middle of my bed with her legs crossed like a child, she looked up at me, and it was evident that she'd been crying. Why on earth would she be crying? I'm really awful with crying girls... especially crying Bella.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N ****– Ok guys, here's where the drama starts... get ready for some angsty chapters, I apologise in advance!**

BPOV

Oh my God. So first we're caught by his Dad within the hour... and now I've broken their furniture in my attempts to have sex without actually having sex.

It was so lame of me, I knew that Edward had this little rule of his, but I was just aching to have him by the end of the song he played me. It was so beautiful, and the fact that he had written it himself made my heart swell with pride. When he was finished, and he turned to look at me, a timid smile on his face, all I could do was stare at him, it was all I could do not to rip his clothes off and jump him. There was an unbearable ache between my legs, but it was my rule not to have sex with him, I couldn't let him think I was someone to give in so easily.

I told him that I knew he wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted, but I saw a look of resignation in his eyes, like he was ready to give up his rule. I hadn't meant for it to go as far as it did, when I'd leant down to kiss him, and he'd pulled me to him like his life depended on it, I expected him to pull away and stop, but when he lifted me up to straddle him on that delicate little stool I was so intoxicated by him that there was nothing I could do to stop what was happening.

However, my mind was screaming at me not to give in, not to have sex with him. I started grinding into him, feeling his hardened length pushing against my core, making me moan and whimper above him, it felt good, but not enough. I knew he would enjoy this, but it wouldn't satisfy him, for fucks sake it wasn't satisfying me, but my need for Edward to touch me made my every sense heightened and I was so close to coming. I gave in to my physical need for him and moved my hips faster and faster, becoming erratic as my hips tried to get the friction my core was aching for. But then, out of nowhere, Edward pushed back away from me, and then before I knew it, we were on the floor, and I was straddling him. I thought we'd just fallen off the stool, and knocked over a bottle of water in the process. But then when Emmett and Rosalie walked in I was mortified when I'd heard that we'd broken the stool, and the fact that I hadn't even heard them walk in to the house.

When Edward told me to go upstairs I wanted to run. To run and never have to see him again, he must think I'm absolutely ridiculous, making this rule and then doing that to him on his piano stool, doing nothing for him, but everything for my own need.

Rosalie followed me up the stairs and we both sat on Edward's bed, I sat in the middle with my legs crossed, and she sat on the edge, leaning slightly on one arm, turned towards me.

"Bella, it's fine. Emmett and I broke his bed one of the first times I stayed here" She laughed it off, "A broken piano stool is nothing really!"

I smiled weakly, I could feel tears burning my eyes, trying to force themselves out.

"Oh Bella... what's wrong?" Rosalie cooed soothingly, leaning over to pull me into an embrace, "They won't be mad... they're very accommodating!"

"I've been really stupid Rosalie..." She looked at me questioningly and let go of me, letting me find my position in the middle of the bed again. I sniffed.

"I made this... rule." I saw Rose's eyebrows lift in question, "I said to Edward that I wouldn't... well..." I made a gesture with my hand, hoping she would get the hint without me having to say it, "and now I've agreed I won't do _anything _because then it would make it easier for him. And now all I want to do is..."

I hung my head in frustration, and heard Rosalie snigger in response.

"So? Just jump him! He won't be complaining Bella!"

"Rose! I can't! He'll never take me seriously again!"

"Bella babe, men don't care... they just want sex. He didn't look like he'd been complaining before you broke the stool, believe me, he'll be wanting it just as much... if not more than you do"

We kept talking for a while, Rosalie convincing me to just take the bull by the horns... so to speak, even phoning Alice for her advice, which was exactly the same as Rosalie's.

When Edward walked into the room, he'd been smiling softly, but when he saw me and Rosalie sitting on the bed he winced slightly, I couldn't think why he would react that way. Rose turned to me and smiled, I smiled back unconvincingly and she left the room. Edward just stood at the door staring at me, a look of fear and concern across his face.

"Have you been crying?" He whispered, making his way over to the bed.

I followed him with my gaze until he reached the edge of the bed, "Only a little, it was nothing important"

"You don't cry over nothing Bella" He knelt down on the bed in front of me, each of his hands resting on one of my knees.

"Well I wasn't really crying, I was _nearly_ crying. But I'm fine now. Please? Let it go?" I looked up at him with pleading eyes and he nodded, a look of relief spreading across his features. "All cleaned up downstairs?"

He nodded and smiled warmly, "Everything's fine, I'll go and get another stool tomorrow, they never go into that room anyway, they'll be none the wiser" He winked at me and kissed me on the forehead.

That's when I decided to take my chance, I grabbed both of his wrists, his hands still on my knees where I sat. I used him as leverage to pull myself up into a kneeling position similar to his, but he obviously still towered over my small frame. He looked at me questioningly as I stretched up and brought my lips to his softly, it was much more tender than it had been downstairs, and I think it took him off guard, he took a few moments before he started to respond to my kiss, bringing his hands up to my head to pull me closer to him. I shuffled forward and pushed his chest getting him to lean back and then straddled his hips, kissing him again as he ran his hands up and down my sides. He pulled away from the kiss and leaned his head to the side, I took this opportunity to kiss his jawbone up to his ear, licking and nipping at his earlobe.

"My rules are rubbish" He whispered huskily, "Forget them"

I brought my head away from his ear and he turned his head back to me, I nodded before kissing him again.

I let my hands smooth down the planes of his stomach, my fingers tracing his toned abs through his t-shirt, his eyes followed my hands which were working their way lower. As I toyed with his belt, finally getting it off and undoing his fly, he smirked at me.

He sat up, bringing me with him, and he pulled off his t-shirt, revealing those abs I'd been tracing just minutes before, my eyes wandered lazily over them, and he took my hands in his, we were palm to palm, just looking into each other's eyes, before his hands found the bottom of my top and pulled it swiftly over my head, I lifted my arms in the air to assist him and then let them fall back to his jeans.

"These are gonna need to come off champ" I whispered into his ear.

He grabbed my hips and lifted me off him, resting me to his side on the bed, he pushed his jeans down and threw them on the floor, he nodded towards me.

"And yours..."

I huffed indignantly and stood up to remove my jeans, leaving me in my underwear, I took pleasure in watching his eyes scan my body slowly, as mine had done to him. His little problem from earlier had become a big problem, and was straining against his boxers.

I climbed back onto the bed, and back onto him, his hands resting on the curve of my waist and holding me above him while we looked at each other. There was no need for words as his hands smoothed down my sides, I sat up, so we were at a 90 degree angle to one another, and ran my hands down his stomach again, before finding the waistband of his boxers and swiftly pushing them down.

I moved myself down his legs and leant down to his hard strained member, I looked up at him just as he shut his eyes in anticipation, he'd been waiting for this all day I could tell. I smiled to myself, knowing that this was the first time his bed had seen any action. I left open mouthed kisses up and down the shaft, occasionally letting my tongue glide in between my kisses. When my mouth reached the head I took it in my mouth, sucking lightly, letting my tongue swirl around it, before opening my mouth fully and taking him all in, I heard him suck in a breath at my sudden movement and I groaned in approval, causing his hips to roll slightly. As I brought my mouth back up his shaft I sucked lightly, my tongue swirled around the head again before lowering my head again, feeling him hit the back of my throat, I sucked hard as I came back up and his hips thrust forward into me harshly in response. I put my hands on his hips and pushed him firmly back onto the bed before continuing my ministrations. Before long I heard his breath becoming short and strained as he struggled to maintain his focus.

"Fucking hell Bella" He breathed, "I'm..."

I pulled myself off him and his eyes shot open. "No Bella pl-"

"Shh Edward" I whispered harshly, smirking before licking the palm of my hand. I circled my fingers into a circle, like you would if you were giving a hand job, but brought it to my mouth, effectively making a tunnel for his cock to pass through before getting to my mouth. He looked confused as I leaned back down, and let his dick go through my hand before being guided into my waiting mouth and I heard him groan loudly.

"FUCK!" He thrashed around on the bed while I pumped him like this, "It's incr... Incredib...le... arh...FUCK!" He shouted as his came, I sat up with a smug smile, swallowing all of him as he collapsed, spent onto the bed.

I climbed off him and lay on my side next to him, still holding myself slightly above him. He opened his eyes slowly, they were heavily lidded and his eyes were dark with desire and lust.

"Bella...?" He whispered softly

"What is it?" I whispered back

"You won't ever leave me will you?" His eyes made me feel desperate for him.

"Edward..." I said sternly, climbing back onto him. "I would never leave you"

"I love you"

"I'll love you forever" I whispered, my eyes threatening to cry, but I willed the tears away... hoping to lighten the mood somewhat, I joked, "It can't have been that good!"

Edward laughed and rolled us over, so he was holding himself above me, still holding an amused smile on his perfect face. "You have new tricks babe..." He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Thank Cosmo" I shrugged and he smiled again, moving his hands down to my hips, pulling me up toward his pelvis, I groaned at the connection and I heard him grunt.

Keeping my hips in the air with one hand, he used the other one to pull off my panties and he discarded them onto the floor. He let me back down onto the bed and used one of his hands to push my legs apart. He shuffled back and settled himself in between my legs, he kissed his way up the insides of my thighs. My near orgasm earlier nearly had me in pieces when we'd ended up on the floor, and it was still lingering in my throbbing clit, the coil in my stomach threatening to release with the slightest touch. I was already trembling with anticipation when I felt his cool breath ghosting over my slick folds.

"Please, please, please" I begged, just needing him. But then I couldn't feel his breath anymore, I snapped my head up to glare at him to see him staring at me, his eyes still dark, but he was smirking... fucking tease.

"What do you need sweetheart? Do you need me..." He moved one of his hands and pressed his thumb forcefully against my clit, "Here?"

"Ungh!" I almost shouted, throwing my head back into the bed, "Yes Edward" I whispered, pleadingly, when I realised he wouldn't continue until I answered.

"What about..." he moved his fingers to my entrance, two fingers running in opposite directions around it, "Here?"

I whimpered and my hips thrust up into his hand, but he pulled his hand away and I groaned at the loss of contact.

"Uh uh uh Bella, you naughty girl!" He teased.

"Edward..." I groaned, not trusting myself to look at him I kept my eyes shut and my head back against the bed. I heard him exhale heavily, and I knew that he couldn't keep up this pretence much longer. "Please babe just do it. I need you, you know I just... _need you_!" I tried to emphasise my words and it seemed to work, suddenly I felt an attack on my clit, his tongue rubbing against it furiously as his fingers worked my entrance and I came immediately, clenching around him, hearing him groan.

He kept going though, obviously not satisfied. He took my clit between his lips and sucked on it hard, causing me to thrash wildly on the bed in response, his fingers pumped in and out of me at an incredible pace, driving me wild. He kept going, until he bit down on my clit at the same time he curled his fingers inside me, finding my sweet spot, and I came again.

"Ungh...Edward!" I shouted this time, not caring who heard.

I was completely satisfied, but I needed more. I needed him. Now. As he settled himself down beside me on the bed, a smug grin on his face, licking his lips. I climbed back onto him and he laughed in response.

"I _have_ to have you Edward" I moaned

He looked up at me, that look of anguish passing in his eyes again. "No Bella. No sex in Forks"

"But you..." I pushed my hands down on his chest, "You said the rules were rubbish!" I moaned like a child.

"No. I said _my_ rules were rubbish sweetheart." He looked like he was fighting a battle in his head, "I totally respect _your_ rules"

"Disrespect me Edward" I said as smoothly and seductively as possible, it had worked for many guys in the past, and I hoped Edward wasn't immune to it. But he shook his head and attempted to push me off him, if somewhat reluctantly. "No Edward! I_ need_ you to fuck me!" I whimpered, falling back onto the bed.

"I won't" He said dejectedly, rolling over onto his side to face me as I felt my body shudder with anguish, my centre was hot, wet and throbbing for him. I was uncontrollable as I jumped onto him, taking him by surprise as he gripped my arms, I leant down to kiss him hungrily and he responded in the same manner before pushing me away again and sighing.

"Am I going to have to restrain you?" He joked, but still that look of agony in his eyes.

"Yes" I stated simply before leaning up in attempt to kiss him again but he pulled away from me while pushing me back against the bed again.

"You wanted this Bella. I'm not going to flout your wishes like that ok?"

"But my wishes _now_ are for you to have sex with me!" I whined.

"And maybe I will... but not just because you get caught up in the heat of the moment... I want you to be... aching for it" His eyes were searching mine for something intangible.

"I _am_"

"No, you think you are but you're not. Believe me, you and I will both know when you are" He smiled at me reassuringly, an eyebrow cocked slightly.

"I might pass out before then Edward" I whispered, knowing I was defeated. He smiled in response and pulled the comforter over us. "I can still kiss you can't I?"

"Of course babe, I said my rules were rubbish" He sounded amused, although I couldn't see it, he had pulled me to him, my back flush with his chest.

"_Your_ rules were rubbish?" I whispered incredulously, I heard him chuckle behind me before I let sleep take me.

***

The next morning I woke up to Edward planting kisses all over my neck and shoulders, and I could feel his breath on my skin as I smiled. I turned to face him and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him while he moved his kisses to my collarbone, I leaned my head back, relishing his touch and sighed deeply, knowing that nothing would come of this.

He pulled his head back from me, moving one hand up behind my head and moving my head up level with his, we stared into each other's eyes.

"Don't be sad Bells"

I sighed again and shut my eyes, knowing that they would give me away. "I'm not sad"

"Only 2 more day's til Thanksgiving..."

I opened my eyes, to find his boring holes into mine. "Have you got something to be thankful for?"

"Only one thing I'm giving thanks for this year..." He whispered, leaning towards me and kissed me softly, I sighed into the kiss and put my hands on his arms, feeling his muscles flex as he moved.

I pushed myself away from the kiss and watched his eyes open slowly, "I've got somebody I need to visit", as I said it I pulled away from him and let him roll back onto his side, I climbed out of bed and tottered over to the bathroom. I had a quick shower, washing my hair and throwing it into a loose bun. I pulled on some jeans and a hoody and walked out of the bathroom.

"Who?" Edward asked warily.

"What?"

"Who do you need to visit?" He was still in bed, sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

"Just a friend I haven't seen in years, nothing to get worried about Edward" I put a little make up on, eyeing him in the mirror, his arms were folded across his bare chest and his face looked angry.

"I thought you didn't have any friends" He sneered, but I don't think he knew I'd seen him in the mirror. The look on his face made me feel like I was at school again.

I snapped my head around, nearly poking my eye out with my eyeliner. I glared at him.

"You didn't even _fucking_ know me Edward!" I shouted, my eyes threatening to cry again. "How could you just _assume_ something like that?! Just because you didn't like me didn't like me doesn't mean no-one else did!" I was holding back the tears but my voice gave me away, coming in gasps and shaking.

"Bella... I-" He started, climbing out of bed and walking towards me.

"Don't fucking say you're sorry Edward! Don't do it!" I threw my arm in the air gesturing for him to go away. But he kept walking towards me, I pushed past him, the tears pooling in my eyes.

"Bella don't go"

"Go fuck yourself!" I shouted as I stormed out of the door, I spun around once I was past the threshold to his room. "_And_ I want my stuff moved into the spare room by the time I get back!" I spat viciously, seeing the hurt in his eyes as I slammed the door behind me. I heard heavy footsteps as I hurried down the stairs, his bedroom door flung open and he leaned over the banister at the top of the stairs.

"Bella!" I continued down the stairs, I heard him sigh, "At least take my car to wherever you're going?" I grabbed his keys from the table as I reached the hall and left the house, not looking back to him.

I climbed into his car and started the engine, I pulled away from the house quickly, then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out and saw Rosalie calling me. I ignored it and threw the phone onto the passenger seat.

When I got to my destination I sat and calmed myself down a bit, my hands still gripping the steering wheel tightly in my anger. I looked down at my phone and noticed a text message.

_What the hell happened? Xxx_

Rosalie. Of course she would have heard the argument this morning. I totally wasn't overreacting though, what he said was spiteful and insensitive. But to be honest I probably wouldn't have reacted the way I had if I'd got what I wanted last night. I have a right to speak up for myself, I sure as hell didn't when I was at school, that's why I would come here and spend time with my friend Jake, I would tell him all of the things that Edward had done. When I'd told him about the diary incident it was him who suggested to me, reluctantly, that I should go and stay with my Mom for a while. I don't think he thought I would never come back though.

I huffed out a breath and started typing my reply.

_Rose, keep Edward away from me when I get back. I mean it. Or there will be murder tonight. It'll ruin the carpets. B x_

I smirked to myself at my witty response, and my phone rand instantaneously.

"Hi Rose"

"Funny text Bella"

"I try my best"

"So... what happened. There was a lot of shouting, Edward hasn't left his room since"

"Yeah not even to come and greet me! How rude!" I heard another voice... Alice.

"Alice! Hey! Am I on speaker?"

"Course you are! We need to know the deets!" Alice chirped.

"Edward seemed to have reverted back into his old self this morning" I said glumly.

"What the hell did he do?" Rose asked, seething.

"He insinuated that I had no friends when I lived here. He sneered when he said it, like because he didn't like me, he couldn't understand why other people would. The look on his face..." I started to choke up and couldn't finish. There was silence at the other end of the phone so I gathered myself before continuing, "He didn't know I could see him"

"I'm so sorry Bella. I thought he'd changed" Rosalie apologised.

"Rose you don't need to apologise for him, it's not your fault"

I heard a noise in the background and a door slamming.

"That's him" Alice whispered, "I think he might have just put something in the spare room"

"Yeah she told him to have her stuff in there by the time she got back" Rosalie answered her.

"Well at least he listened to me I suppose"

"Where are you Bella? Do you want us to meet you somewhere?" Rosalie asked, obviously concerned.

"No don't worry, I'm just seeing a friend in La Push, I'll phone you when I'm on my way back, I'll need you to stop me crying... that would just be embarrassing"

"No problem, we'll both be here" Alice stated matter of factly.

"Right I'm gonna go then"

"Ok, try not to think about it too much ok? Have fun" Rosalie added.

"I'll try, thank you both" I muttered, they both said their goodbyes and I hung up.

I undid my seatbelt and climbed out of the car. As I locked it, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket again, I pulled it out to see another text, but this time from Emmett. Weird, Emmett never texted me.

_Whatever Edward did, give him hell for it. He's a dickhead with girls. Just make sure you get back here safe ok? Em x p.s Jazz says punch him._

I smiled at his text, he reminded me a lot of a big brother, I hit reply and quickly typed in a response.

_Don't even mention his fucking name atm Em, he's unbelievable. I'll be safe, I'm in La Push with a friend, got his car, I'll be back later. Thanks B x_

I put the phone back in my pocket. The only person not to contact me was Edward, I wasn't surprised really, but it angered me none the less. I started walking towards the old familiar building and a sense of nostalgia rushed over me. Before I could knock on the door it flew open and Jake came bounding out and greeted me with a hug.

"Bella!"

I laughed as he put me down.

"I thought it was you, didn't recognise the flash car though!"

"Um, yeah, I've borrowed it" I bit my lip, hoping he wouldn't ask.

"Who from? That's not Charlie's, and you're not staying with him either, I was there with my Dad yesterday"

He pulled me inside as he was talking, we sat down on the couch.

"I'm staying with... erm... well... I'm staying with the Cullen's?"

His face dropped, his beautiful smile disappearing rapidly.

"The car is... Edward's"

"Edward Cullen?"

I nodded simply in response, biting my lip again.

"Why are you driving his car? You're not friends."

"Well no. We're not friends. He's kind of... well... he's my... erm... boyfr-"

"No" He almost shouted, anger building up in his eyes, "Do NOT tell me that scum is your boyfriend Bella! Do you not remember what he did to you, all those times you were round here crying? When you literally couldn't walk because you had no energy left from it all?"

"Of course I do" I let my head fall, I stared at my hands that were on my lap.

"Then why the hell... I don't understand"

"I tried not to Jake. I met him at College, and it all just kind of happened"

I sat and explained the whole story to him until he decided he didn't want to hear anymore, he got up and went to the kitchen, throwing some lunch together for us both and coming back in with it and handing me a plate.

"Jake... please don't hate me"

"I don't hate you Bella, don't be stupid. I hate him"

"Well so do I at the moment" I muttered, not realising he could hear me.

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing Jake, just forget it"

"No Bella, this will be like old times won't it? What's the jerk done to upset you this time?" He seemed to almost take glee in the fact that Edward had upset me.

I explained it to him and I saw that anger rise in him again.

"I thought you said he'd changed?" I could tell he was trying to control his anger but I saw him visibly shaking trying to calm himself down.

"He has... let's just forget him ok?" He nodded slightly and we spoke about old times and new. Jake told me he was running his own mechanics now, and that he owned the house, his Dad lived with him because there was nowhere else for him to go, but Jake had no problem with it.

"No girlfriend?"

"Um... no... she... went away" His eyes dropped to the floor.

"Oh Jake that's a shame!" I apologised, putting my hand on his knee.

"Hopefully, she'll come back to me soon, she's... not making the right decisions at the moment"

With that his eyes shot up to mine, and mine widened in response.

"Jake... I can't..."

"Why not?" He put his hand over mine which was still on his knee, "You always said you would come back to me, it just took longer than I thought. I still love you Bella"

"You didn't love me Jake, you _liked_ me, like a normal teenager might. Don't mistake anything we had as any more than friendship"

"Then why did you kiss me before you left?"

My eyes widened again. I'd forgotten that I'd done that. He looked so upset when he told me I should go, and I couldn't bear to see that look on his face. His smile was what made me happy when I was upset, he was happy enough for the both of us when I couldn't be.

"I... uh..."

"Edward's obviously not changed has he? You're still sitting here with me, you're face just inches from mine" As he said it, I suddenly noticed the close proximity of our face, lips close, but not kissing. I pulled away and cleared my throat, beginning to stand up.

"I should go back. They'll be wondering where I am"

"Bella... I'm not going to let you go this time"

I shook my head.

"Jake... I _have_ to go. You _have_ to forget me. This isn't possible"

"Why not? Because of your jerk of a boyfriend?"

"You know I always liked him Jake" I started walking towards the door, I turned before I took the handle in my hand, "He loves me"

"You think what he did this morning was love do you?"

"Jake..."

"Just know... I won't give up easily."

I nodded and rushed out of the door, not wanting to have an argument with him. I jumped into the car and drove away, pulling out my phone in an attempt to call Rose or Alice, but in my frustration I threw the phone onto the passenger seat again.

The Volvo flew down the long driveway leading to Edward's house, I was surprised I'd managed to find the turn off to be honest, I pulled up by the house and jerked the car to a halt, throwing me forward in my seat as it stopped. This was the first time I noticed I had tears streaming down my face, dripping from my chin onto my clothes. With the revelation that I was now crying I let myself sob uncontrollably. I don't understand how this all got so out of hand, I'd always loved Jake, but only ever as a friend, when I kissed him before I left it wasn't to give him hope of something more, but closure. I glanced up at the house and saw the front door open slightly, Emmett poked his head outside and noticed my state in the car. He stormed out and walked around to my side of the car, throwing the door open and pulling me out of the car and up into his arms.

"What the hell has happened?" He whispered harshly, obviously worried into my ear. I looked up at him in an attempt to speak, but my voice wasn't co-operating. I shook my head and broke down in tears again, pushing my head into his chest.

"You know what? Don't even worry, let's just get you inside ok?" He said sweetly, kissing the top of my head. I nodded against him, not looking up into his eyes again. He was carrying me bridal style through the front door and up the stairs. I could hear voices from the bottom of the stairs, all asking what had happened, I could guess that it was Alice, Rose and Jasper, but there was another voice, could it be Edward? If it was Edward wouldn't he be following up the stairs?

Suddenly exhausted from my outburst and barely able to concentrate I let my head roll back onto Emmett's chest again and my eyes shut.

"Emmett what the fuck is happening?!" Someone shouted, from close by.

"I don't fucking know alright mate! She just... well look at her! It's not like I did it! I'm just gonna put her upstairs for a bit"

"She won't want to be in my room Em." The same voice from before muttered, sounding distraught and helpless.

"Where's her stuff? The spare room?" There was a short pause, "Fine, I'll put her in there"

Then I felt myself being lowered onto what I guessed was a bed, my eyes staying closed. I immediately curled up against myself, mourning the contact and warmth that Emmett had provided. I felt someone kiss my forehead and stroke my hair off my face, it was Emmett again, he felt nothing like Edward. I heard the door close behind him as he left the room.

I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes, but I could hear a lot of voices outside, guessing everybody had come up to see what had happened. But to be honest, I didn't even know, it was like I'd just been hit at all angles at once, and I was powerless. I could hear Edwards voice clearly above the others.

"Of course I fucking didn't!"

**A/N ****– Sorry, sorry, sorry! Please don't hate me... but get ready for more!**


	15. Chapter 15

EPOV

What the fuck is wrong with me? I was lying there, with the most amazing girl in the world in my arms, and she loved me. All she'd said was that she wanted to go and see a friend, but something uncontrollable took hold of me that I can't even explain. She dashed to the bathroom and I was left sitting there thinking about it. Something clicked in my brain, like a switch I hadn't even realised was there. And when she came out , I was adamant to get an answer from her, demanding to know who she was seeing, and although she told me it was nothing to worry about. Her sentence just intensified my anger, why was she being so cagey? So I said the first thing that came to my head.

"I thought you didn't have any friends?"

I could feel the smirk on my face, but it wouldn't leave. What followed after was perhaps the worst situation possible. I tried to explain myself, but she wouldn't let me, and in a way I was glad, I didn't know what I would say if she had let me. But when she turned around and told me to move her stuff out of my room I just wanted to break down and cry. It seemed like, in that one sentence my whole world had fallen apart, and I didn't know how to fix it. Nothing I could say or do now would take away what I'd said to her, the face that I'd pulled when I'd said it, and the sense of justification in my words that still stuck in my head, even though I knew it was wrong, my head was telling me I had the _right_ to say it.

I walked to the stop of the stairs dejectedly, telling her to take my car, and she grabbed my keys and left the house. I stood at the top of the stairs for what seemed like an eternity, just staring at the door she'd just walked out of, willing her to come back, but she didn't. I heard shuffling from Emmett's room, we had obviously woken them with our heated argument, but I wasn't ready for the Spanish inquisition which I'm sure would follow from Rosalie so I quickly headed back to my room, hoping that they would take it as a hint to leave me alone.

And thankfully they did. I took a long shower, hoping that it would calm me down. I knew that I should at least text Bella, but I really couldn't think of a thing to say to her. The shower did little to alleviate my stress, so I got dressed and put my iPod onto its docking station and turned my most relaxing playlist on. I could hear Alice's voice coming from Emmett's room across the hall, her and Jasper must have come over to escape her Mom. I lay down on my bed, my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling, but just then I heard Alice and Rosalie saying Bella's name... and then I heard Bella's voice. I turned off the music suddenly, straining to hear, I wondered if Bella had come back while I'd been sitting in here on my own. But then I heard them say that she was on speakerphone. I got up off the bed in anger, I huffed and looked around the room. She'd asked me to put her stuff in the spare room, so I would. I gathered up all of her stuff into my arms and pushed the door open with my foot, I marched down the hallway to the spare room, kicked the door open again, and literally threw her stuff into the dark expanse, not caring where it all landed.

I stormed back into my room and slammed the door behind me. I hid out in my room for most of the day, venturing downstairs hours later, to find everyone sitting around on the various chairs. Rosalie was laying on one of the couches, her head resting on Emmett's lap, while he played with a strand of her hair, Alice and Jasper were sitting on the recliners next to each other, their hands intertwined on the arm of Alice's chair. I suddenly felt nauseous, I don't know how I'd ever managed to remain friends with such closely bonded couples, never thinking that it was what I wanted, what I needed.

"Edward you look like shit dude" Jasper gaped at me, leaning away from Alice.

"Thanks" I muttered back, walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and walking back into the room to an awkward silence. "Guys carry on with whatever conversation you were having..."

"Well we would but, as it's about you it's a little awkward" Alice chirped, obviously not worried about letting me know.

"Bella's upset" Rosalie glared at me, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Yeah well... so am I" I murmured.

"What do you have to be upset about exactly?" Rosalie probed, "The fact that she has somebody else other than you that she wants to spend time with?"

"Oh fuck off Rose!" I almost shouted, but Emmett started to stand up, so the tirade I'd been planning flew out of the window. I slumped down into the armchair and took a swig from my bottle of water.

"You've got to pull yourself together Edward" Emmett said, but cocked his head to the side as if he was concentrating on something different. He stood up slowly, pushing Rose off him as he stood, he walked slowly past me and toward the front door, opening it, only slightly. I ignored him after this, but heard him leave the house. As I had my back to the door I could only see the looks of shock and panic on everybody else's face when I heard him re-emerge. Rosalie and Alice stood up suddenly, rushing over to the hallway as Emmett walked up the stairs, Jasper sat, motionless, staring. I turned slowly in my chair and then saw Emmett walking up the stairs with a girl draped over his arms... Bella, draped over his arms. What. The. Fuck?

I shot up so fast from that armchair and literally chased him up the stairs demanding to know what had happened. I'd told Emmett that she wouldn't want to be in my room, I desperately wanted him to take her there anyway, she had her eyes shut, but her face was puffy and blotchy. When Emmett turned to ask me if her stuff was in the spare room the look in his eyes was almost scary, like he was warning me off her. I'd only ever seen that look on his face once before, and that was when he caught me with Rosalie, he literally looked like he was going to rip my head off. I could see that his eyes were welling up at the sight before him as well, so I simply nodded and let him take her into the spare room and lay her down on the bed.

I stood outside the room by the doorframe. I hadn't even noticed that everyone had followed me up the stairs and was now surrounding me, wide eyed, questioning me wordlessly. I looked around at them, I couldn't have done this to her, could I?

Emmett left the room calmly, and shut the door behind him, not letting me past, even though I tried to push past him. He wouldn't make eye contact with me though, and it unsettled me. All at once, everyone started firing questions at me, but all I could focus on was Emmett.

"Did you touch her this morning?"

My eyes shot wide open. What did he think I was? My heart beat frantically, threatening to break my chest, I was literally shaking trying to control my anger, but Emmett remained calm and collected, with an emotionless face.

"Of course I fucking didn't!" I shouted, causing everyone around me to fall silent, who obviously hadn't heard Emmett's accusation. "What the FUCK do you think I am?! That's my GIRLFRIEND in there you dick!"

"Edward calm down yeah?" Jasper suggested quietly. I turned my head sharply towards him.

"Jazz, he just accused me of hitting Bella" I murmured calmly, being careful not to take this out on him.

"We all know you would never do that Edward" Alice stated confidently, her eyes flicked to Emmett's and back to mine.

I turned back to Emmett. Not looking at him, but rather at the door that I was determined to get through.

"Emmett, let me past"

"No"

"Emmett."

"I said no Edward. I don't want you to see her"

My eyes grew wide again as I drew in a deep breath steeling myself for another argument, but instead I said emotionless and clearly.

"Bella is my girlfriend Emmett"

"Then why did you do what you did this morning?"

Bella must have told Alice and Rose on the phone this morning. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out, I shut my mouth and opened it again, but once again, nothing.

"Everything good that happens to you Edward. You ruin it all" Emmett stayed calm and emotionless, much like my own voice, but deeper and slightly louder.

"Em..." Rose piped in.

"I... I didn't do...I didn't do this" I whispered, I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince myself or my family, it came out like I was being choked. I turned swiftly on my heel and ran to my room, flying through the room and into my bathroom, leaning over the toilet and heaving.

Nobody had followed me, and after an hour of sitting motionless on the bathroom floor I pulled myself up onto my feet. I thought about the past, at school when I would torment Bella, and what was going through my mind when I did it. And then I thought about this morning, and the same emotions were in my head, spite, arrogance, total indifference. I didn't care at school, and I knew there was a part of mind this morning that hadn't cared if I was hurting her, and that scared the hell out of me. I opened the door of my bathroom with some vigour, and went to my bed, pulling my bag out from under the bed, I packed some essentials into it and threw it over my shoulder. I opened my bedroom door and looked down the hallway, Emmett was standing guard outside the spare room. He glared at me, but when he saw me leave my room with a bag his eyes filled with anger again.

"Are you leaving?"

"It's for the best" I muttered, standing at the top of the stairs.

"I think you're right. Get out" He couldn't even bring himself to look at me. And I felt my heart pound with emotion.

"The fact..." I choked out, "The fact you thought I could have... hurt her, like that" I shut my mouth tightly, willing myself not to cry in front of my brother, "I could never..."

"Get out Edward" He said emotionlessly again, staring at the wall behind me rather than at me. I nodded slightly and put my foot on the first step, but the door handle behind Emmett turned and the door opened slowly, stopping me in my tracks.

"Edward?" I felt the blood from my face drain as I looked at her, standing behind Emmett. Her beautiful hair was knotted and straggled, her stunning brown eyes were bloodshot and wincing, puffy and red from her crying. She was even paler than usual, with mascara stains down her cheeks. I sucked in a breath at the sight before me. "Where are you going?" She was whispering.

"It's not a good idea for me to be here Bella" I looked from her to Emmett and back again, she looked confused, and for a second I thought that maybe this wasn't my fault after all.

"This is your home Edward... I have a perfectly good house that I could go to", she wanted to get away from me. It was my fault.

"Edward's going Bella, you can stay exactly where you are" Emmett said turning his head to her, she looked up at him, frowning in confusion. She ducked under his arm and carefully walked over to me, she held a hand out to me but I backed away from her, seeing the hurt in her eyes immediately. I knew that if I had something as perfect as Bella I would ruin her, I'd hurt her too many times already, and this morning reinforced my opinion that I didn't deserve a girl like Bella. She shook her head at me, her eyes wincing in pain, blinking away tears that were reforming in her eyes.

"This isn't right Bella, I'm not... right for you" I took another step down, and she followed taking a step towards me.

"Edward... don't do this. You're exactly right for me"

What I said next almost killed me, I could feel it ripping my heart to shreds as I said it, and I knew it would cripple her, but something inside me was willing me to say it.

"I'm your worst nightmare remember?" I whispered inaudibly. I heard her gasp in shock and whimper as she tried to breathe again, but I couldn't look at her, I turned on the stairs and ran as fast as I could out of the house, hearing her shout my name in a pained and desperate voice. I grabbed my keys off the table and ran to my car, throwing my stuff onto the passenger seat, I pulled out as fast as possible and sped off.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - Ok guys, you all still with me? I know Edward's an idiot, yada yada yada, it doesn't get any better in this chapter I'm afraid, but just remember, it always ends well!**

BPOV

"I'm your worst nightmare remember?" He whispered. And as he did I actually felt my heart rip apart. I'd never get over that, the look in his eyes when he said it... he truly believed it, I was completely stuck, I couldn't move as he turned and ran from the house, I stood staring at him, willing him to come back, but he didn't. I heard his car speed off and I fell to the floor, unable to hold myself up any longer, I was completely gone.

***

The next thing I remember was Jake kneeling in front of me. I shook my head, looking around at where I was, I was on the beach in La Push, sitting on what used to be "our tree" when we were younger, and he was knelt in front of me, his hands on my knees and a worried expression on his face.

"Come on Bella, you have to stop doing this. You can't keep zoning out on me"

I shook my head again and tried to think of what had happened since... well... since it happened.

"Jake?" I whispered, and I saw him smile weakly.

"That's right hun" He encouraged.

"Jake... I can't remember... I don't remember... what am I...?"

"Bella, you remember him leaving?" My eyes widened hoping he wouldn't say his name, I nodded, "Everyone was worried about you, do you remember?" I shook my head, but he carried on, "It doesn't matter, I called your phone and Emmett answered, I came over as soon as I heard, it had already been a few days, you'd stayed in your room all of thanksgiving and not eaten a thing, you looked awful... you looked so bad Bella" He whispered the last part, I could tell it had torn him up inside to see me the way I was. I slowly started to remember bits of my memory that up until now I had no idea I'd lost.

"You... you took me to your house" He nodded and his eyes lit up slightly at my remembrance, "How long have I been here Jake?"

"Just over a month, this is the first time I've heard you utter a complete sentence since I brought you back, I've been getting yes and no answers from you all this time"

"Charlie-"

"Thinks you've gone back to College, and that you're happy. I knew you wouldn't want him to worry"

I suddenly felt guilty for what I was about to ask. If I'd been at Jake's house for a month without even knowing it, I should be doing all I could to thank him, but all that came into my head was... him.

"What about..." I couldn't bring myself to say his name.

"He's gone. Nobody has heard from him since he left" He said through gritted teeth, a sound of annoyance seeping through his calm facade.

I nodded quickly. "Thank you Jake" I whispered, but all I could think of was where he was, if he was ok, and what had happened to him.

"Bella, you never have to thank me" He pulled me up onto my feet and placed his hands on my hips, it felt uncomfortable but it was the least I could do to let him do it. "I never want to see you like that again. I'll never make you feel like that", his eyes were intense as they bored into mine, a heat emanating from him that scorched me but I couldn't push him away.

"Jake you know that I c-"

He put a finger to my lips to silence me. "Just go with it... whatever happens, just go with it" He whispered softly into my hair and I nodded, afraid of losing him, the only person who I could rely on at this moment.

"What about college Jake?"

"Do you want to go back?" He pulled back from me and held me by my shoulders like I was breakable, looking into my eyes. I nodded and he frowned in confusion.

"Why?"

"I like College Jake. It's not like he's there or anything" I winced thinking about him.

"Why don't you just start again next year?"

"I don't want to"

"Well the semester is almost over now. Why don't you just stay here until next semester and then go back then if you feel like it?"

His compromise seemed like a pretty good idea. I could get myself together over the holidays and then go back to College refreshed and ready to party again. That was my plan anyway.

***

The next couple of days were relaxing, but awkward. Jake would go off to work in the morning, and I would spend my time reading books and walking along the beach, but when he came to meet me after, I always felt like he was expecting something. He would hold me a little too long when he hugged me, his eyes would linger longer than necessary when looking at me, and his hand would brush against mine when we were walking side by side, he'd actually taken to holding my hand on our walks along the beach. But I still didn't have the strength to tell him no, he'd done so much for me, and I just couldn't reject him like that.

Charlie was still unaware as to my real whereabouts, when he came over to see Billy I would head out with Jake somewhere, hoping nobody would spot me and rat me out to Charlie. So far, so good.

Tonight was one of those nights, Jake had brought me onto the beach for dinner, he laid out a blanket and we both sat down on it. He pulled out a hamper with lots of different foods in it and we ate in silence, only talking when the silence became uncomfortable. When we were finished I helped him clear all of the food and stuff back into the hamper and I laid down on the blanket.

Jake lay down beside me and turned his head to look at me. I turned to ask him what he was looking at, but as I did, his lips caught mine and brushed against mine lightly. I gasped and refused to respond but he seemed undeterred and pushed himself up and over me, still brushing his lips against mine, hungrier now as his tongue sought entrance to my mouth, this felt wrong, completely wrong. But then my body reacted in a way that my heart screamed in pain at, I started to kiss him back. I opened my mouth and our tongues massaged against each other's gently. I made sure my hands stayed at my sides, I was desperate not to let this get any further, I felt like I was betraying _him_, and although I was pretty certain that we were over and that he had moved on to some new girl... or girls, my heart still belonged to him.

When he needed to breathe, Jake moved his lips away from mine and looked into my eyes, resting his forehead on mine. His eyes were dark with lust and happiness.

"That's my girl Bella"

My eyes widened and my breathing picked up, I shook my head at his remark. "What?"

"You don't need him Bella, I'm right here"

I opened my mouth in protest but he took it as his cue and went for mouth again, kissing me more deeply this time, with intent and vigour. Involuntarily I kissed him back again, this time, my mind forgot about my hands as they fisted in his hair and I mentally cursed myself for my weakness. I felt his hand start to move lower and he toyed with the waist band of the sweatpants I was wearing. I never wore sweatpants, they must have been his, I wondered if he got some kick out of seeing me in his clothes. I shook my head into the kiss and pushed his chest as forcefully as I could, his mouth left mine and I took my chance.

"Jake stop"

"You don't mean that baby"

"I fucking do Jake! Get off me!" I attempted to sit up but he was too strong and I was on my back again within seconds.

"I mean it Jake! Get the fuck off me NOW!" Tears started to fall from my eyes, I was completely helpless and I was terrified, but not of Jake. No, Jake could never scare me, I was scared of hurting Edward. Jake pulled back and saw me crying and nearly flew off me, holding his head in his hands.

"Shit Bella, I'm so sorry, I should never have... Shit"

But I just sat there, falling apart. He crawled across the blanket towards me.

"Bella?" He put his hand out to rest on my shoulder but I flinched away, "Bella, I would never, I'm so fucking sorry" He sounded distraught and I turned to look at him.

"Just forget it Jake"

"No, I..."

"Jake, forget it. I need to go I think"

"No way, you have nowhere to go" He said as I was standing up, he grabbed my wrist but when he looked down to see what he'd done he let go of me suddenly.

"I'll find somewhere" I started walking towards his house as he followed furiously after me.

"If you want to go then go in the morning? I'll drop you off wherever you want to go"

***

Here I was with my credit card and my bag at the airport. Absolutely no idea where I was going. I could go back to College, all my stuff was there and I knew people there. Or I could go to Phoenix and stay with my Mom, awful idea, scrap it. Or I could go somewhere completely new and exciting, start all over again, that didn't seem like such a good idea either, I wasn't emotionally ready to start again.

I decided that right now, I wanted to be by myself, and not be bothered by anybody, but where could I do that? My phone started ringing in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"_Bella? Bella is that you?"_ A girl spoke on the other end of the phone.

"Who's this?"

"_Bella, it's Alice..."_

"Alice" I breathed out.

"_Oh my God Bella. Are you ok? We've been trying to find you since Jake took you. We didn't have his number or know where he lived, you're phone kept going to answer, did you get my messages?"_

I shook my head in confusion. "I didn't get any messages Alice. Have you changed your number?"

"_No"_ She said, her voice hinted with confusion, _"Why?"_

"Your name didn't come up on my caller display"

"_It's ok, I've got you now. Where the hell are you? Are you ok?"_

"I'm... well I'm not good no. But I'm at Seattle airport"

"_Why are you at the airport?"_

"I had a... complication, last night. I need to leave, but I have no idea where to go"

"_A complication?"_

"It's nothing Alice. Just Jake... well, no, you know what, it doesn't even matter, I just need to go"

"_Are there any flights to New York?"_

I paused for a while, scanning the boards in front of me.

"Yes"

"_Go there. I'll meet you at JFK as soon as I can get there. The next flight out of here and I'll be on it. I promise"_

"Alice it's nearly Christmas, you can't just g-"

"_Bella, my Mom's away anyway, she has a penthouse in Manhattan, we can stay in it. I have a key so no arguments ok? Just get on the damn plane"_

I nodded, but then realised she would actually be needing a verbal answer, "Um... ok Alice. Thank you"

"_See you later, I'll phone you when I get there."_

"Bye Alice"

"_Bye Bells, love ya" _

I hung up and walked over to the desk buying my ticket for New York.

***

A couple of hours listening to my iPod later and I was standing at baggage reclaim in JFK airport, my bag came quickly and I went to find a place to wait for Alice. I found a small coffee shop filled with business men and they're carry on's, I bought myself a vanilla latte and sat down at a small table in the corner, sipping slowly at my coffee.

I started to think over the events that had happened in the last few months. I'd met Edward again, and after a lot of problems we were happy together, but that's the problem. We _were_ happy. Something had changed for him, and I'm not entirely sure what it was, the look on his face when we'd had that argument in his bedroom was one of justification and smugness. When he'd decided to leave me there, at the top of his stairs, before he'd even said anything he'd resigned himself to leaving. No matter what I'd said he would have gone, and when he'd repeated those words to me I could see that although he was no longer the Edward from High School, he wasn't _my _Edward either. I needed to know what had changed.

Emmett had been amazing after Edward left, if not a little smothering, he spent every waking hour with me, even though I was completely out of it and wasn't talking, my memories of the last month were all coming back to me slowly, and Emmett's presence in my like during the few days after was immeasurable. When Jake came to get me Emmett was reluctant to let me go, and now, to be honest I wished he hadn't. Jake's love for me had become a problem, and my reluctance to hurt him made it very complicated, which obviously led him to believe I felt the same way. I'm not sure if Jake would ever talk to me again now.

Thinking about Jake reminded me that Alice's number hadn't come up as recognised on my phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and scrolled through my phonebook. Alice was now back in there as I saved her number as soon as she'd called, I scrolled through the alphabetical list, staring at names I hadn't spoken to for months if not years, wondering why I had their numbers on my phone still. When I got to E I noticed a significant absence, there was no Edward. I immediately looked down the list a little further, no Emmett. I carried on going through and noticed no Jasper or Rosalie either. Jake must have been trying to cut me off from everybody, I had no idea when he would have been able to do it, I don't remember seeing him with my phone at all, but I was certain it definitely wasn't me. Even if I hated Edward I would never delete him just like that, it hurt too much, and strangely, seeing him missing from my phonebook opened up another hole in my already irreparable heart.

I decided to push my luck further, already certain about what I would find, and I clicked onto my photo album. Empty. I felt tears begin to prick in my tired eyes as I thought about all the memories that Jake had deleted when he did this. Happy memories with Edward, us out and about at College and having fun with everybody, all of it was gone. I was still staring at the screen when Alice's name came up as my phone vibrated.

"Hi Alice"

"_Bella are you here yet?"_

"Um... yeah I'm in the coffee shop nearest baggage reclaim"

"_Ah I see it. Come outside we'll go grab a taxi"_

"Ok see you out there"

I shut my phone off and shoved it back into my pocket before standing up and grabbing my bag, leaving my half full and now cold, latte on the table behind me. As soon as I stepped outside the coffee shop I was pulled into the tightest hug imaginable, I felt myself crying and then moisture on my shoulder, she was crying too. She pulled away sniffing, but smiling brightly at me.

"I thought I'd never see you again! None of us had any idea where you were!"

"I think Jake might have had something to do with that. I have no numbers on my phone and he's deleted all my photos. Everything... it's all gone."

"You have to tell me what happened when he took you Bella. Did he hurt you?"

"Oh God no!" Worried that she would try and blame Jake for everything like Emmett had with Edward, "He just got the wrong idea, I'll explain all later"

"Ok, well, as long as you're ok?" I nodded, "Right let's go and find a taxi"

We got a cab right outside the airport and Alice told the driver the address. We were sitting in comfortable silence until Alice started to speak again.

"So... Rosalie's meeting us at the apartment"

"Rosalie? I can't have you all missing Christmas with your families for me Alice it's not fair", Alice grabbed my hand tightly and her eyes met mine with an unquestionable force.

"Bella, if we didn't want to be here with you then we would have gone home wouldn't we?"

She held my gaze for what seemed like an eternity before shaking her head with a smile, "Silly Bella", as the drive continued I began to look out of the window at the sights passing my by. I'd never been to New York before and I never realised just how captivating it was, even from a car window. Suddenly the car came to a stop outside a grand looking building and I turned to look at Alice who was already half out of the car.

"You getting out Bella?" She laughed into the car, I smiled weakly before grabbing my purse and climbing out of the car. When I got out I looked around at where we were, and then I saw a sign, "Central Park, Bella, my Mom's penthouse is up there, looking over it, it's beautiful", I turned to see Alice pointing up into the sky and the grand building I'd been admiring when we'd pulled up.

I breathed deeply in appreciation and Alice grabbed my hand pulling me inside. We got into the elevator with our bags and Alice just stared at me with an amused expression across her features. We hit the top floor and walked out, Alice opened the door and I gasped. The first thing I noticed was the huge ceiling to floor windows looking over the park, the sun was out today and the view was spectacular. There was a huge plush corner sofa and a wide screen plasma on the wall. The room was light with dark, rich colours splashed around with the cushions and drapes, it was very luxurious, and much too much.

"Alice, I c-"

"Bella, we're staying here ok? No arguments"

She pulled me further into the apartment as a door opened, Rosalie emerging from it with a towel wrapped around her body and another around her wet hair.

"I thought I heard you two come in!"

"Rose!" Alice shouted and ran over to hug her like they hadn't seen each other in years.

"Alice, this place... is amazing!" She beamed, while looking over Alice's shoulder at me, "Don't think you don't get a hug too! Come over here you!" She held her arms out to me and I walked forward hesitantly embracing her softly. "I've been so worried about you" She whispered into my hair and I nodded, feeling the tears streaming down my face again.

***

After settling in, and Alice showing me to my stunning bedroom we all decided to get take out, so we were sat on the corner sofa eating out of the cartons. Nothing had been mentioned about Edward or Jake yet, but I knew it wouldn't be long. After we'd finished eating Rose decided to bring it up.

"What happened Bella?"

"Uh..." I started, putting my carton down on the table in front of me. "Where do you want to start?"

"When you went to see Jake after the row with E-" I didn't want to hear his name.

"Ok ok" I nodded, taking a sip of coke before setting it back down on the table again, "Erm well... Jake got really angry with me about... well about everything. He was who I would go to after a bad day at High School, we would talk about things. He was who eventually told me to leave and go and stay with my Mom"

I noticed I'd been staring at my hands during my little background information so I looked up to see both Alice and Rosalie staring at me intently.

"When I told him I was... that I was going out with... yeah well he didn't take it very well at all, he shouted and, well he just didn't understand. He told me he loved me, and when I said that I'd only ever intended for us to be friends he told me he would fight for me, that he wouldn't let me go this time"

"Is that why he deleted everything on your phone?" Alice asked.

"I think so." I nodded a little and tried to keep my voice even, "When I left his house I just kind of, broke I suppose. What happened in the morning kept playing over in my mind, and the fact that Jacob had told me that... Edward, didn't love me... I don't know, it was all just too much. I didn't even realise I was crying until I got back to the house, and then... Well you know what happened after that"

"We heard what he said to you Bella" Rosalie said softly, but I could tell that she was seething with anger. "You have to know he was lying"

"I don't think he was" I shook my head as I whispered, "Something changed. I knew going to Forks was a rubbish idea"

"And what about Jake? What happened?" Alice asked.

"Well he took me to his place-"

"He stole you" Rosalie insisted and I looked at her in confusion.

"What?"

"He came in, and he literally picked you up and took you and your stuff away from us. Emmett was devastated not knowing where you were or if you were safe, Jake just said that you didn't belong there"

"Oh my God, I had no idea" I whispered, "Emmett... is he... ok?"

"He's on his way here. He wants to see for himself that you're ok. He doesn't believe me"

"Jasper would come but because he spent Thanksgiving with my Mom his Mom is refusing to let him out of the house" Alice joked, but I was still too shocked with Rosalie's revelation about Jake to smile. "You said there were complications with Jake Bella?"

"Um yeah, apparently, I didn't speak until like a month after being there, I couldn't remember anything, I must have been in some kind of daze. Anyway after that it was just kind of awkward, he kept holding my hand and... well it ended up that he tried to have sex with me, but when I said no he wouldn't stop"

"Fucking hell Bella he didn't... rape you?" Rosalie looked like she was ready to kill him.

"No... I had to literally kick him off though, and then he was really upset telling me it would never have happened, but... I think it would have" I could tell my voice was completely flat, emotionless, but I couldn't encourage it to sound any better.

"So then what? He just let you go?" Alice asked.

"Well, no, I had to tell him that I wasn't staying, no matter what he did. He told me I had nowhere to go, and when I got to the airport this morning I started to believe him, I was going to go back"

"Thank God I called!" Alice said as lightly as possible in this situation. Rosalie and I laughed weakly and somewhat awkwardly.

I really wanted to ask them if anyone had heard from Edward. I kept thinking about where he was and what he was doing... who he was doing. I was completely immersed in my thoughts of him when Rosalie obviously noticed my daze.

"We don't know where he is babe"

I shook my head and looked at her, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"He won't answer our calls, nobody's seen him, we've tried all of the family everywhere... nothing" Alice piped in regretfully.

I nodded. Of course he wouldn't want anyone to find him. He would be starting a new life somewhere, a happy life where he didn't have to worry about me. I'd always thought that maybe, after he found out who I was that he would be with me out of sympathy, maybe it became too much for him? Maybe my little sex ban in Forks had been the catalyst for his change of mind.

"Guy's I'm gonna go to bed... see you both in the morning?" I said standing up.

"Definitely, Emmett will be here when you wake up, he's arriving some time tonight" Rosalie mentioned as I walked into my room.

"Tell him to come and see me. I want to talk to him" She smiled and nodded. Alice waved as I shut the door to my bedroom, I got changed and climbed into bed.

***

Sometime during the night I felt my hair being pushed out of my face lightly, and a hand stroking my cheek, I leaned into the touch and sighed.

"Bella?" A voice whispered, but it wasn't the voice I wanted. It was Emmett. My eyes opened slowly to find him sitting on the side of my huge bed smiling at me. "Bella, you're ok!" He whispered excitedly, I nodded sleepily and yawned, covering my mouth with my hand before sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

"Thank you Emmett. For everything"

"For what? Rose told me what happened with Jake, I let him take you. I'm sure I could have stopped him, I'm so sorry Bella"

"Sssh" I whispered, leaning over towards him and hugging him tightly. "That was definitely not your fault at all. I'm fine, nothing happened to me, all in one piece... see?" I whispered jokingly, leaning back and gesturing towards myself, he laughed quietly.

"I can see that" His face suddenly turned serious again, "You've lost loads of weight Bella, you don't even look like you anymore".

To be honest I had noticed this. I guessed it was just that I hadn't been eating much while staying at Jake's and I doubt he would have resorted to force feeding me.

"It's fine Em, I'm planning on eating loads while I'm here and putting it all back on. I don't need to give Alice an excuse to take me clothes shopping!"

He laughed again in agreement, and I yawned again.

"Right you better get back to sleep. I'll see you in the morning. I'm so glad you're ok Bella" He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"See you in the morning Em"

He left the room and I fell back to sleep almost immediately.

**A/N - Sooo, what do you think about Jake? Where do you reckon Edward's hiding out?**


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning I woke up to the sunlight streaming through the window, at first I was confused, but then as I looked around me I remembered that I was in New York in Alice's Mom's beautiful apartment. I got up out of bed and walked through to my bathroom, grabbing a shower and fishing some fresh clothes from my sparse luggage. I sighed. I'm going to have to go shopping.

When I was all done I walked out into the huge open living area, Emmett was standing by the kitchen counter beaming at me while Alice and Rosalie flitted around the kitchen. I looked towards the huge glass dining table and saw it laden with all different kinds of foods, pancakes, English muffins, a variety of fruits, bacon, eggs... anything you could possibly want. I looked questioningly at Emmett.

"We need to put meat on those bones of yours!"

"Well if this happens every morning I'll be looking like the Michelin man before the end of the week!" I laughed.

We all sat down and had breakfast, and I ate until I was stuffed. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a really good breakfast so I was taking advantage of it.

"So Bella, I had a look in your luggage yesterday" Alice started. I knew where this was going, "We need to go shopping don't we?"

I sighed in defeat and nodded, Alice and Rosalie suddenly got very excited, talking about all the best shops to go to. I rolled my eyes at their enthusiasm.

We went shopping and left Emmett to his own devices for the day, I ended up laden with clothes and being shoved into a dressing room by Alice.

"Try all of it on. It'll be too big at the moment, but once you're back to normal it'll fit like a dream!" Alice said through the door. I pulled at my clothes languidly and put on the first outfit I laid my hands on, it was a simple black jersey shorts jumpsuit.

"Alice... a jumpsuit? Really?"

"They will definitely be in this season Bella believe me!"

I opened the door to show her what it looked like and her and Rosalie both nodded in approval.

"Look at your legs Bella! You look sexy!" Rose encouraged as I turned around to look in the mirror. Once I was back to normal weight I could imagine this looking quite good, my legs looked miles long and I did look really stylish, not very Bella-ish at all. Maybe that's a good thing?

I smiled and shut the door behind me again. Quickly rummaging through the pile of clothes looking for anything that even resembled anything I'd owned previously. I found a few things that old Bella would have loved, and threw them over the changing room doors.

"I don't want these Alice!"

"What? Why not? I thought you'd like them!"

"No I don't, I'll try on the rest of this stuff though. Then we need to go to more shops!"

I heard Alice and Rosalie squeal excitedly and I laughed silently to myself.

I ended up with 5 bags full of clothes, courtesy of Alice, even though I had tried to protest, she wouldn't let me buy anything. The clothes ranged from casual sweater dresses, to beautiful cashmere cardigans, skinny leg jeans which made all the blood rush to my head, form fitting t-shirts, a beautiful fitted cream duffel jacket and lots of shoes, including new boots, UGG's, and Alice even persuaded me to get some heels, promising to teach me to walk in them properly.

We made our way to Macy's and much the same happened, I left with a lot of clothes, nothing like old Bella's clothes, they were stylish and polished, and as Rosalie described, "Extremely sexy". I'd never made a huge effort to impress with my clothes before, and found that in doing so, I felt amazing and confident, even though at the moment they were still in bags.

"Are you going for a completely new look here Bella?" Alice enquired as we were perusing some beautiful dresses in the Marc Jacobs section.

"Would it be completely stupid to say yes?" I said pulling out the most amazing white body con bandage dress and eyeing it approvingly, before Alice grabbed it from my hand.

"If you're going for stuff like this then absolutely not!" She laughed and threw it over her arm, ready for me to try it on. We were looking at "evening" clothes now, that meant dresses to Alice, and she helped me pick some stunning ones. I tried them all on but couldn't choose so she bought all of them, telling me that Rose would probably share so it was worth the money. The Marc Jacobs dress was my absolute favourite though. I never thought I would own anything like it, it was beautiful, and Alice teamed it up with some gladiator platformed heels from Manolo Blahnik.

After we were done with the main shopping we decided to head out for some lunch. Rose got Emmett to come and pick up our bags and take them back to apartment so we weren't lumbered with them for the rest of the day and we had a nice lunch in a diner.

"Guys, there's something else I want to do if I'm changing my image" I said stuffing a forkful of salad into my mouth.

Alice and Rosalie looked at me inquisitively and I smiled before swallowing my food.

"I think I need a hair cut"

We rushed out of the diner after paying and Alice directed me to a beautiful looking salon asking if there were any appointments available at such short notice, luckily for me there was a cancellation for half an hours time. While we waited, we sat and flicked through some hair magazines, and then I spotted something.

"What about this?" I asked holding the page open to Alice and Rosalie, who both oohed and aahed at my choice.

When I left the salon I looked like a completely different girl. My hair was now poker straight, I had heavy blunt bangs framing my face and I'd had my hair lightened a few shades to a dirty blonde colour. Alice had bought me the "Best straighteners in the world" as well so I could create my look every day.

"You look incredible Bella!" Rosalie cooed as she walked beside me. I laughed and we carried on walking back towards the apartment, but then Alice pulled us into a lingerie store.

"I don't need lingerie Alice" I said quietly at the realisation that I had nobody waiting for me to appreciate my new look.

"Every girl needs lingerie!" Alice said enthusiastically. She grabbed some bits for me to try on and pushed me into a dressing room again, herself and Rosalie also finding things to try on.

I looked at what Alice had chosen. They certainly weren't old Bella-ish. It was all sexy, luxurious fabrics and cuts. It all fitted fine and although I knew I would find no need for them in the near future, I knew Alice wouldn't let me leave without it, so I let her buy it.

When we got back to the apartment, Emmett looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"Bella... why have you...?"

"Doesn't she look amazing?!" Rosalie enthused, grabbing him into a tight embrace and kissing him on the cheek.

"You look lovely Bella... it's not very... you though, is it?"

I smirked and flicked my hair over my shoulder. "That's kind of the point Em"

"But you don't look like Bella anymore"

"I don't want to _be_ Bella anymore!" I said, suddenly annoyed at his dislike of my new look.

"It's not that I don't like it Bells" He said walking towards me, he took a strand of my hair in his hands, "You look sexy as hell... but..."

"If she looks sexy then that's all that matters!" Alice said pulling him away from me.

We went out for dinner that night and chatted animatedly about anything and everything, all having a great time. Alice and Rose went to the toilet just after we finished our mains, leaving me and Emmett sitting opposite each other.

"Just so you know... I thought old Bella was kind of amazing"

"Well... I'm glad someone did" I murmured, looking down at my empty plate. Moving the knife and fork slightly, for something to do.

"He still loves you" He suddenly said and my head snapped up so that I could look at him.

"What? Have you spoken to him?!" I spoke so fast I'm not even sure if it was coherent. But Emmett's eyes were regretful as he shook his head.

"No... I just know he still loves you"

"I wish everybody would stop telling me that! Nobody's seen or spoken to him, so how can everyone say he loves me? He left me, and now I'm alone!" I almost shouted, not wanting to make a scene in the restaurant. I could feel the tears threatening to fall again but I blinked them away harshly.

"He'll be back Bella, I know he will"

I shook my head as Alice and Rose came back and sat down. They noticed the tension that now hung in the air around Emmett and me, "You ready to take sexy Bella for a proper night out?" Rosalie suggested as she put some bills onto the table to cover the tab.

I shrugged and stood up, "I think I'm just gonna head back actually, maybe tomorrow?"

"It's Christmas tomorrow Bella, I don't think much will be open" Alice said quietly. I hadn't even realised what date it was, now I think about it, there were decorations all over the place while we were out today, people hurrying around like they'd forgotten something.

"Oh yeah"

"We're not going to do anything. Just treat it like a normal day at home right?" Emmett said, looking to Alice and Rosalie to back him up, they both nodded.

"I was never a huge fan of Christmas anyway" Rosalie shrugged.

***

The next couple of days passed without incident, Emmett was slowly getting used to new Bella, and I was enjoying becoming her. Alice had taught me, successfully to walk in heels, setting aside Christmas day to do it. I could now walk confidently in all of my beautiful heels and look apparently, "elegant" while doing so. We did some more sight seeing, and shopping, and more shopping, every now and again, Alice letting me buy my own clothes. I'd created a completely different person with my new wardrobe, and Alice for one was very excited about it.

New Years Eve there was a party at a trendy bar that Rosalie was dying to go to, I tried to persuade them that it would be ok to let me stay home, but Alice disagreed, pulling me to my closet and pulling out my Marc Jacobs dress.

"It's the perfect opportunity to wear it Bella!" I gazed over the dress in adoration, taking it from her and smiling, "Excellent! Now get dressed, I'll do your make up after!"

I got into my dress, I'd eaten enough to get very close to how my body was before, and the dress fitted amazingly, it hugged my body in all the right places, made my breasts look amazing and my legs look extremely long.

I was straightening my hair when Alice knocked on my door, letting herself in. She had a huge vanity case with her and she smiled at me.

When she'd finished with me, she twirled me around so that I could look at myself in the mirror. I had heavy dark eyeliner and shadow on that made my eyes pop, and my skin looked flawless, almost translucent. She put some nude lip gloss on my lips to make my eyes the focus and a small amount of blusher.

"Put your shoes on. We're leaving in 5!" She chimed as she flitted out of my room.

I couldn't stop staring in the mirror. That was actually me after all. All I could wonder was whether Edward would like it, I knew he would appreciate the dress, after all it left little to the imagination, but I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of the new Bella. I looked down at the bottom of my wardrobe and saw my old biker boots sitting next to my Manolo Blahniks, I sighed and frowned, wanting to not remember him, I threw my biker boots right to the back of my closet and grabbed my shoes, putting them on and strutting out into the living area. Emmett was waiting alone by the door and I took pleasure in his eyes popping when he saw me emerge.

"Holy shit" He muttered.

"You like?" I said lightly, turning on the spot for him.

"You look unbelievable!" He said, amazed, "New Bella has got a big thumbs up from me!"

I giggled slightly and when the girls joined us we left the apartment and got in a cab to the bar. For some reason we didn't have to queue, the bouncer opening the rope for us to walk in immediately, thank god. It would have been embarrassing to have been asked for I.D and not being able to produce it!

"That was because of you Bella" Emmett leaned down and whispered into my ear as we walked towards the bar. I turned my head to look at him questioningly. "He was staring at you, your dress got us in!"

I laughed and we ordered our drinks. It was busy and there were people everywhere. The dancefloor was packed, bodies heaving and sweating to the pounding music. We sat down at a booth near the door as it was the only one left and got talking about how much we liked New York.

"We have to go back to College though" Emmett sighed, taking a swig of his beer.

"Urgh, don't talk about College Em!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"What about you Bella? You gonna come back?" Alice shouted over the music.

"Um... I hadn't really decided yet. I want to..."

"You can move in with us again, it'll be fine!" Rose suggested, and suddenly I felt a lot better about the entire situation. I loved Angela, but I didn't want to face the barrage of questions that I knew I would be faced with.

I nodded and they all replied with a small cheer and we toasted to being roommates once more.

"Excuse me?" A voice came from behind me, I turned slowly. "Hi, sorry to interrupt" There was a guy standing there, staring at me intensely, I smiled nervously.

"I can't get you a drink can I?" He asked, I turned back to everyone, Alice and Rosalie were beaming at me enthusiastically, but when I looked at Emmett he looked at the guy sceptically. I turned back around and held up my barely touched glass.

"I think I'm good, but thanks" I said as sweetly as possible and turned back to the table, only to feel a tapping on my shoulder. Emmett's eyes were locked on my shoulder as I turned slowly again.

"Sorry to be pushy, I swear I'm not normally like this. If you don't want a drink... do you want to dance or something?"

"Of course she would!" Alice exclaimed and literally pushed me off the booth. I stood up and straightened my dress down, smiling with embarrassment at the guy.

"Let's go then" He said, he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I felt my eyes widen as he put his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him on the dance floor, attempting to grind against me. I glanced over at the table I'd been sitting at, and saw everyone staring at me, Emmett's eyes were boring into mine angrily. I suddenly felt annoyed, would he be angry at me? His brother left me, I was single now and I could do whatever I wanted!

I suddenly got involved in the dance and grinded myself against the guy sexily while playing with my hair every now and again, biting my lip when I would feel his eyes scanning my body.

I don't know how long we were dancing before I felt him pull me from the dance floor. I imagined we were going to the bar for refreshment but was startled when I found myself outside the bar, against a wall in an alley, it was fucking freezing.

"What are we doing out here?" I said, the nervousness evident in my shaking voice.

"What do you think? You've been driving me crazy in there with your dancing... and this dress" His eyes scanned my body again and he licked his lips. I shuddered at the tone of his voice and tried to keep my cool. I looked around us and saw a couple kissing further down the alley about 200 yards away. As the guy leaned down to kiss me I turned my head away but he grabbed my chin, holding me still and crashed his lips onto mine. I pushed against him struggling to release his grip on me.

One of his hands grazed the outside of my thigh and landed on my ass, he pulled away from the kiss to look over me again and I pushed as hard as I could against him, still to no avail. I looked down the alley again, the couple still too involved in each other to notice what might be about to happen. As he leant down to kiss me again I pushed against him again.

"Stop fucking pushing me away, I know you want this" He said angrily, the hand that was still on my ass gripping it tightly and making me flinch.

"No I don't, get your hands off me!" I shouted, hoping to get the attention of the couple. I saw the guy stop what he was doing momentarily before getting back down to business with the red head he was with.

"I mean it! Get off me!" I shouted in desperation as he started hitching my dress up. I looked over at the couple again, who had actually stopped this time.

"Oi..." I heard a voice from their direction. "I don't think she's that into it man"

"Fuck off, you've got yours, this one's mine" My guy said angrily, trying to pull me away further down the alley. I heard the footsteps of the man picking up pace as he tried to reach us, and suddenly the guy was flung onto the opposite wall.

"I said she's not into it man! She said no, or didn't you hear that?" The guy was holding him by his shirt collars against the wall. I stared at the back of his head, it was long and messy, like it had been cut into a style but it was growing out.

My guy nodded and was released, being set back down on the floor. "Now I suggest you go home", he nodded again, before giving me an icy stare and running away back towards the street.

The guy turned to me and I immediately froze to the spot.

"Are you ok?"

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. Nothing. I just stared at him, and he looked at me with concern, even in the darkness I knew it was him. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, his usually lovely dishevelled hair was a complete mess, his clothes looked like they needed a wash, but his eyes... they were still beautiful. They were flat though. Void of emotion. He took a step towards me and I instinctively took a step back.

"I'm sorry I didn't come earlier... I wasn't sure I'd heard right. Are you ok?" His voice was genuinely concerned. I knew I needed to respond, so I nodded slightly. He turned around and huffed when he realised the girl he'd been with had gone.

"Uh... sorry... to... ruin your evening" I stuttered out, he cocked his head at me. I really thought that he would recognise me. It was a hair style for goodness sake, not a face transplant, or maybe he'd forgotten me already.

"She's just a friend, nothing special" He shrugged, his eyes still flat and emotionless. "Are you here with someone? I should probably take you back to them"

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak. "I'm not going to hurt you... I'll get you back to them safely. Trust me" He smiled his crooked smile at me and I wanted to cry. I took a step back, my hands shaking. He'd already hurt me.

"Shit look. Can I phone someone for you?" He stepped towards me again, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Look, I have a phone, just tell me the number and I'll ring them" He held the phone out to me, and I was shocked when I saw a picture of us together, old Bella looked happy, his arm was around my shoulder and he was smiling, holding me as close to him as possible.

"Who's that?" I whispered, pointing at the screen, "That's not who you were with earlier" I could barely hear myself, I wasn't sure if he would hear me. I hung my head and looked at the ground.

He breathed heavily. "She's erm... she's... I... I don't know anymore."

I felt my heart start to beat faster but didn't dare to glance up at him. "Why aren't you with her tonight?"

"She hates me. I hurt her" He whispered, and I heard him move, I guessed he'd decided to lean against the wall.

"Have you spoken to her?"

"She doesn't want to speak to me"

"How do you know?" I whispered, feeling my heart break into a million pieces in the darkness.

"I just do ok? I don't need relationship counselling love! Now do you want me to call someone or not?" He said angrily, my head snapped up and my eyes met his briefly, wishing he would notice me. He didn't love me anymore, if he did he wouldn't have sounded so angry talking about me.

"BELLA?! BELLA?!" The outside door flung open and Emmett burst through it shouting my name in distress. Edward's head which had turned to look at Emmett as he burst outside suddenly snapped to mine and I stood, staring at him with my eyes wide. His eyes were wild with confusion and realisation. I shook my head quickly, backing away from him.

I could feel Edward staring at me, but he made no attempt to move towards me, he seemed frozen in place, his eyes scanning my body, taking in my new appearance.

"Bella, what the fuck happened are you ok?!" Emmett boomed as he came bounding up behind Edward, not noticing who it was that I was standing with. "What the fuck do you think you're doing man?!" Emmett shouted, pushing Edward against the wall, but as they stared into each other's eyes both of them pushed away from each other. I took my chance, turned and ran.

**A/N - Drama, drama, drama! Edward's back everybody... but what's he been doing with his time?**


	18. Chapter 18

EPOV

When I left her standing there I had no idea where I was going to go. I just knew I had to get as far away as I could, to stop myself from hurting her anymore, I wasn't the same Edward she'd fallen in love with at College. When I got in my car I was hit by her scent which still hung in the air around me, I turned the air conditioning on, hoping it would clear. I just drove and drove and drove, not noticing where I was going. I stopped for gas when I needed to and got food at the gas stations, very nutritious I know.

When I saw that I was now near Manhattan I decided that it was a good a place as any. It was a big city, I could get lost there, start again. I'd been getting missed calls from everyone, they'd left messages and texts, but I couldn't bring myself to look or listen to them. There was only one person I wanted to hear from... I'm not sure I could ever forgive myself for what I'd done to her. I knew that those words were the worst things I could have ever said to her, and I'd said it anyway. Thinking about her face contorting in pain as I said it made me want to be sick.

I knew that if I was going to be staying in New York I was going to need some money, so I quickly found a place that offered me a good deal for my Volvo, and although I was devastated to watch it go I knew it was for the best, that car was the epitome of old Edward, and I wasn't him anymore.

I found a small, grotty apartment in Brooklyn, it was sparse and I had no belongings to make it my own, but it was enough. I got employed in a coffee shop locally which didn't pay much, but it was better than nothing, I had no ambitions here. Just to live would be enough for me now. Lots of the female customers would hand me there number while paying for their coffee, smirking and giving me a wink and then returning to their friends or husbands. I was never short of offers, but I never took any of them up on their offers.

My life was pretty mundane, but then one night while I was wandering around the city I was approached by a red headed girl.

"Hey, you looking for some fun?" She was dressed in a black pvc dress and thigh high stiletto boots... she was a prostitute.

"Um, no... thanks" I said, shoving my hands in my pockets and staring at the floor while I walked past her.

"Are you sure about that? You look like you need it" She cooed and put her hand on my arm. I stopped and turned to look at her, she smiled, "Actually... I don't think I would even charge you, beautiful".

"I should hope not, I've never had to pay for sex in my life" I murmured, smirking at her. She grinned wickedly and her eyes scanned my body.

It had been such a long time since I'd been with... well... yeah. We stood staring at each other for a while, she was quite pretty for a prostitute to be honest. I noticed her biting her lip, and she took my hand pulling me down the street, and for some reason I followed her. She pulled me into an apartment building and through a door to a small room with a bed.

"Wait wait wait" I murmured while she started pulling at my clothes. "I'm really not sure I-"

"Oh come on! You'll enjoy it once we get going! How do you like it?" She smirked pulling me down onto the bed on top of her. Her hands worked on my jeans quickly and pushed them down.

"Wait, no" I said pushing myself off her and standing next to the bed pulling my jeans back up. "What's your name?"

She looked at me incredulously, "What would you like it to be?"

"I'm not paying. What's your name?"

She frowned before huffing, "Sarah... god the young ones are normally no problem!"

I smiled slightly, "Right, Sarah... why do you do... _this_?"

"Money" She said curtly.

"Right then, I will pay you... to... do anything _but_ have sex with me" I knew it sounded ridiculous, and the look on her face confirmed it for me. But I didn't want to have sex, I was determined to keep that with Bella, and if that meant paying someone to stop that happening then that's what I would do.

"Are you serious? Do you have some kind of problem?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "I just... don't want to have sex"

"You're not normal, you know that?" She laughed, and I nodded, smiling.

***

The next couple of weeks I carried on with my mundane life, working in the coffee shop, even on Christmas Day, double pay would keep my mind busy from thinking about Bella. I would see Sarah a few times a week and we would fool around a bit, to be honest, it wasn't working as much as I thought it would. I was determined to not think about Bella, but when Sarah and I were making out on her bed she was all I could think about. The one time Sarah had attempted to do anything other than make out with me was an absolute nightmare, I'd been thinking about Bella all day, about our time against the wall at College, and I was already in a state by the time I got to Sarah's.

She was straddling me while we kissed, our kisses were always rough and animalistic, I wanted nothing that resembled a meaningful kiss with this girl. Her hands found their way to my jeans and she started to push them down. With my eyes shut I imagined Bella, as she worked her way down my body panting heavily, but when I felt her breath over my hardened member I literally jumped up, pushing her off me and onto the floor, wide eyed and confused.

The more time I was away from Bella the worse I was becoming, I was having to get myself off 2 times a day just to get myself through, and every time I would think of her, her name passing my lips with every release, and my body would be racked with guilt after.

On New Year's Eve I could only think of one thing to take my mind of her. I walked purposefully to where I knew Sarah would be working, she smiled when she saw me, and gasped when I took her hand roughly and pulled her down a dark alley. I pushed her hard against the wall and kissed her with force, she groaned into the kiss and wound her hands in my hair, pulling at it hard. I heard the back door to the nearby club open and glanced around quickly to check we wouldn't be interrupted, but it was fine, it was just another couple.

I put my hands on either side of Sarah and pushed her up the wall, holding her there while I bit her neck, causing little red marks to appear along it, and her collarbone as I moved my attentions there. When I heard what sounded like a struggle from the other couple I stopped my movement, listening carefully to what was being said, but all seemed ok, so I went back to Sarah, beginning to push her mini dress over her hips, and then I heard the girl from further down the alley shout at the guy, telling him to get off him. I stopped, and put Sarah back down on the ground, she was panting heavily and staring at me, but I looked down the alley to see the guy forcing himself on the girl. It made me sick to even think a guy could do that to a girl so I intervened. I chased them both down the alley where he was trying to pull her away, I grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall, threatening him. I told him he should go home, and he scurried away, giving the girl a menacing stare before doing so.

I turned to the girl to check if she was ok. But she look stunned, she might be going into shock I thought. She was nice looking. She had dirty blonde hair, it was straight and had heavy blunt bangs, framing her face and her eyes stood out. I perused over her appearance, she was definitely one I wouldn't turn down if she gave me her number at work. She was wearing a short, tight, white dress that looked expensive and ridiculously high heeled shoes, I was surprised she was even able to walk in them.

Worried that she would think I had the same idea as the other guy I told her that I was sorry for not stopping him earlier, asking again if she was ok, and this time she nodded slightly. I turned to look for Sarah but she'd gone off somewhere, that was tonight's plan ruined then.

The girl apologised to me, and when I heard her voice I could swear it sounded like... but I knew it wasn't her. I offered to take her back to her friends, telling her to trust me, but at that she stepped back, she looked scared and she was visibly shaking. I took my phone out to show her I was serious, showing her the phone. She looked at it curiously, before asking me who it was on the screen with me.

The conversation that followed was so difficult for me to have. This was a complete stranger asking about _my_ Bella. I wanted to shout that I was in love with her, that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life leaving her there in Forks, but I knew that proclaiming it to this girl I barely knew would make everything worse, and when she questioned me I sounded so angry when I responded, telling her I didn't need relationship counselling, she looked hurt, her eyes looking like she was about to cry. Maybe it was the shock settling in from her near attack earlier, I immediately regretted saying it, and was about to apologise for my rudeness when there was a loud thud from behind me, the door to the bar had been flung open and hit against the wall as a big guy walked out. Fucking. Hell. It was Emmett.

"BELLA?! BELLA?!?"

Emmett seemed to be looking in my direction in relief, I snapped my head around to the girl who'd nearly been attacked, and the look on her face shocked me. She shook her head at me quickly, stepping away, but I was frozen to the spot, all I could do was stare at her. The girl standing in front of me was _not_ Bella, it was a beautiful girl, yes. But Bella was absolutely stunning, she was perfect, and this wasn't Bella.

Suddenly I was flung against the wall, Emmett obviously hadn't recognised me in the dark alley, he shouted at me, but his eyes widened and he loosened his grip on me immediately after looking into my eyes. I landed on the ground straightened myself out a bit.

"Edward..." He whispered as if he didn't believe it was me.

"Hi"

"What are you... why are you... are you ok? You look bloody awful" He shook his head as he worked out what question he wanted to start with.

"Thanks for that Emmett, I'm fine."

"How did you know Bel-" He turned as he spoke and I followed his gaze as he was going to look at the girl that was apparently Bella. But our heads both snapped back to each other's when we realised she wasn't there.

"What did you do?!" Emmett shouted, pushing me against the wall again, I held my hands up in a surrendering gesture and he let me down again.

"I didn't do anything man. I didn't know it was her, she was getting... attacked... I was just going to call her _friends_ to come and get her. Why aren't you looking after her?! What's she done to herself?!"

The beginning of the sentence had been fine, defending myself against my huge brother, but when I realised that he was in fact with her tonight, I was angry that he could have let her get into that situation, I would never let that happen to her. I would never let her ruin herself like that either. But he pushed me against the wall again, anger flashing across his eyes.

"_I _shouldn't have to be looking after her you dickhead! You fucking _left_ her! Jake came and took her from us, we had no idea where she was until about a week ago! Jake tried to rape her as well, so I hope you're fucking proud of yourself!" He shouted directly in my face, his anger intensifying as he continued. I felt my own anger rise as he mentioned Jake, I didn't even know who he was, but he tried to hurt Bella... _my_ Bella. It was my fault. All my fault. He released me from his grasp again and I couldn't seem to hold my head up any longer, I felt tears pricking in my eyes but I blinked them away.

"She's tried to turn into a different person Edward. I couldn't get her to understand" He murmured.

"Why?" I lifted my head slightly to look at Emmett who looked as upset as I felt.

"I don't know. She says it's 'new Bella,' she thinks she wasn't good enough for you."

"Does she... well... does she..."

"Yes she still loves you Edward, I have no idea why though"

I lifted my head completely and looked down the alley, I sprinted down to where it met the busy street and stepped out, but I couldn't see her. I turned to see Emmett still standing where I had been earlier.

"Where are you staying?!" I shouted, suddenly desperate to see her.

"I don't think that's a good idea Edward do you? She just ran away from you"

"We'd been speaking before you interrupted us!"

"You didn't even know it was her!"

"Yeah but she knew it was me!"

"Then what did you say to her?"

I thought back to the conversation and sighed in anger. "Fuck", I breathed out. I'd told her about herself, she'd seen herself on my phone and asked me about how I felt about her, and the one thing I did actually feel I hadn't said. I _fucking_ love her!

"I shouted at her" I breathed, but obviously Emmett heard.

"You what?" He started walking towards me, "Why did you shout at her?"

"She... I didn't want to talk about... I couldn't talk about her" I was stuttering. If I couldn't talk to Emmett about this then I had no chance of having a decent conversation with Bella. Emmett was right, I wasn't in the right state to see her right now.

Emmett was about to open his mouth to speak again, but Rosalie and Alice stumbled out of the door laughing, what was this? Some kind of reunion?

"Uh... Edward?" Alice questioned as she walked down the alley towards us. Obviously a little worse for wear as she used to walls either side of her to balance herself.

"Fuck me, is it really you?!" Rosalie sounded incredulous and a little angry.

"Hang on. Where's Bella?" Alice suddenly said, whipping her head around to look for her.

"She ran away, I'm just going to ring her, I think she might have gone back" Emmett said, pulling his phone out and holding it to his ear, he walked away from us as he waited for Bella to pick up. I turned to Alice and Rosalie who were both staring at me.

"Why did you ruin everything Edward?" Straight to the point. There was no pretence with Rosalie. I shook my head slowly, trying to think of a reason, but my mouth wouldn't even open to try and explain. I knew now that leaving her was the biggest mistake of my life, I could have made it work, I was just scared.

"Do you know Jake tried to r-" I didn't want to hear it again. It was making me physically ill knowing that something like that happened to Bella because of me.

"Please don't Alice"

"What don't you want to hear how you nearly ruined her life?!" Rosalie shouted at me, pushing against my chest, she met no resistance from me and I stumbled back slightly. "Jake tried to cut her off from everybody! He wouldn't tell us where he'd taken her, or how she was, she could have been dead and we wouldn't have known!"

"I don't know what to say Rose!" I suddenly shouted, my hand rubbing the back of my neck.

"There's nothing you can say!" Alice shouted.

"What the hell was going on in that head of yours that you thought it was a good idea to say that to her? To leave her like that? What did you think was going to happen?" Rosalie's voice was calmer now, but it took me a few seconds before I could muster up an answer.

"I don't know Rose, I thought that there was nothing I could say... to... make up... for what happened in the morning. I thought that my head was trying to tell me it wasn't going to work. I honestly believed that I wasn't right for her. I didn't want to leave her. And what I said to her... It just... It was the only way I thought she would believe me."

"You're an idiot" Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"I know. I didn't think things through at all. I honestly thought she would be ok" My head turned to Emmett who was deep in conversation on the phone. At least she'd answered. I turned back to the girls. "Is she...? I mean... is she ok?"

"I don't think so" Alice murmured. "On the surface yeah, she looks amazing. But no"

"I saw her. I didn't recognise her, a guy was trying to... I... well I stopped him before... but I didn't know it was her"

"Well yeah she looks a little different" Rosalie cocked an eyebrow, "Hot, right?"

I shook my head. "No" Alice and Rosalie's eyes widened, "I mean, on anybody else, yeah... but... who I saw tonight wasn't Bella"

"She looks amazing Edward! You can get used to it! She can even walk in heels! Did you see her shoes?!" Alice exclaimed.

"I don't want to get used to it! It's not her, she's trying to be something she's not. I _loved_ old Bella"

"Did you ever think that's why she wanted to change?" Rosalie spat. She was right, she thought that if I'd changed then she could too, but I'd realised I hadn't changed, I was just so fucking scared of ruining things that I did it before I caused anymore harm. But she definitely didn't need to change, everything about her was perfect.

Emmett came back over to us, putting his phone back in his pocket, he looked at me.

"She doesn't want to see you tonight Edward" I nodded in compliance with whatever she wanted, "But she's safe, she's back at the apartment. She said that she would call you when she was ready talk, you've got to do what she wants Edward" I nodded again, I would do anything for her, whatever she wanted I would do. "Where are you staying?"

"Brooklyn, I've got a flat"

"Oh good for you" Rosalie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me.

"Rose, babe, be quiet." Emmett said, looking in her direction. "You got plans for tomorrow?" He looked at me again. I shook my head.

"I can call in sick for work, I've only got a short shift"

"Fine well I'll meet you in the morning. I think we need to talk, I'll take you for lunch somewhere" I nodded and watched as he started to walk away from me. "I'll ring you" He called over his shoulder as he left me in the alley, Alice and Rose followed closely behind him.

I walked all the way home, trying to clear my head. When I'd left in search for Sarah earlier this evening I'd never expected any of this. The way Bella looked this evening was burned in my memory, I remember before I knew it was her I thought she was beautiful, that dress and those shoes... I wasn't sure what I thought now. I wondered if she'd changed as much inside as much as she had outside. If she took me back, and I hoped to God she would, would it be the same as before?

I got back into my flat and put my cell on to charge, I looked at the screen and I was suddenly itching to hear her voice again, but I shook my head and walked away from the phone, trying to do anything to distract me. Maybe I could text her, that was allowed wasn't it? No. I tried to push the thought from my mind, but I couldn't sleep that night, I just lay there thinking about her. I heard my phone vibrate next to me and groaned as I turned to look at the time, 4.38am, this had better be worth it.

_How did you not recognise me?_

My heart suddenly sped up as I realised it was Bella, maybe she was thinking about me too? I grabbed the phone and stared at her message again, then quickly keying in a reply.

_Well you do look kinda different Bells._

After I sent it I grimaced, realising I had called her by a nickname, she probably wasn't ready for that yet. But I got a message back soon after.

_I don't look that different._

I scoffed, replying instantaneously.

_You've got to be kidding me. You looked like sex on legs... or in heels I should say! When did you learn to walk in those?_

I hoped that she was ready for a little banter, it was normal for us, and I was trying my best now to revert back to the Edward she knew at college.

_Oh you appreciated them did you? Alice is a great teacher, my feet hurt like a bitch now though!_

Oh god, I could just imagine her saying that. I groaned again, not knowing what to say, I wasn't sure if she was ready for what I was about to say...

_I'm sorry x_

I didn't get a message back for a long time. I lay on my back with my phone resting on my chest, willing her to text me back. At 5:14 my phone vibrated again, much to my relief.

_It doesn't work like that. A text won't fix it._

I shook my head as I replied.

_I know, I fully intend to tell you face to face when you're ready to see me. If you want to see me._

Instantly I got a text back.

_I've missed you._

I sat up fully on my bed now, hunching over my phone as I fiercely replied.

_You have no idea how much I hate myself Bella. I need to see you. Explain. Make it right. _

I walked through my dark apartment and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge taking a swig and then looking at my phone, she'd replied.

_I don't think you can make it right Edward. I want to see you though, are you free?_

I literally ran to my bedroom, pulling on clothes and heading for the door, realising I didn't know where I was going, I stopped, pulling out my phone again.

_Now?_

_Yes._

_Of course. Where?_

I looked at my phone again as it vibrated but was surprised when it continued to vibrate, she was calling me. I stared at her name which had come up on my screen, I seemed unable to move, not trusting my voice, but I couldn't let her down. I hit answer and held it against my ear tentatively, wondering what her voice would sound like.

"Hi" I breathed.

"_Where do you live?"_

"Brooklyn" I answered, she shouldn't come here, it's disgusting, she deserves more than this. "Bella it's really not the best pl-"

"_What's the address?" _She sounded like she was outside already, and... climbing into a cab? I heard the door shut behind her. I told her the address and I heard her repeat it to the cab driver. _"Meet me outside"_

"Of course swee... of course I will" I corrected myself, I don't even think I was ready for that yet, it had just slipped out, and I'd heard her breath catch.

"_I'll be there soon, goodbye Edward"_

With that she cut me off, and I was instantly worried that something would happen to her on the way here. I ran down to the street and stood, my hands shoved deep in my pockets and my hood pulled over my head, protecting me from the freezing cold air that blew around Brooklyn. After about 20 minutes I saw cab pull up on the opposite side of the street and the girl that I now knew as Bella climbed out after handing the driver some money. She looked around at her surroundings, and when her eyes met mine I saw her breathe deeply, her warm breath making a little puff of white in front of her as she walked across the street.

She walked straight to me and stood directly in front of me. Of course it was Bella. I could never mistake those eyes, whatever colour hair she had it could never change the effect those eyes had on me. I smiled weakly and she returned the smile, it was awkward and neither of us knew what to say.

"It's freezing Bella"

"Thanks for mentioning it. I'm freezing my tit's off here!" She exclaimed through chattering teeth and rubbing her hands together for warmth, and I heard a hint of a laugh, but I wasn't sure.

"Well you better come in then... if you want?" I added hesitantly. But she nodded quickly and so I let her into the building, letting her walk up the stairs before me. I couldn't help but find myself staring at her ass. She was wearing jeans that looked like they would cut her circulation off, a dark grey cashmere sweater with a cowl neck line, and UGG boots, this definitely was not Bella. As she got to the top of the stairs she turned to look at me.

"Um, I don't know where I'm going Edward" She frowned and smiled at the same time, a hint of amusement in her voice for definite this time.

"Sorry... um just to your left, number 14, the door should be open, I didn't lock it" She nodded and walked down the narrow, dingy hallway. This place was an embarrassment, I was ashamed to see her in a place like this, let alone be the reason she was somewhere like this. "It's a complete shit hole, I'm just warning you" I laughed weakly as she pushed the door open. Her eyes widened as she stepped in, her head moving slowly as she looked around.

"Edward..."

"I know, I need to clean"

"No Edward" she turned to look at me, her eyes brimming with tears, "Was I that bad that you would come to live in a place like this?"

I shook my head fiercely and went to take her shoulders in an attempt to make her understand, but hesitated before doing so, taking a step back. But still with an intense stare, looking at her.

"You don't understand Bella, none of this is about you. I'm a complete dickhead. I told you I would ruin it, but in doing so I ruined everything in my entire life. I tried to stop it before I could do any more damage but everything I did just made it worse... I mean... what happened to you... with... Ja-"

"Who told you about Jake?" She was crying now, and all I wanted to do was go over and take her in my arms, make the pain go away.

"Rose and Alice, I'm so sorry Bella, you have... no idea, how much I still l-"

"Please don't say it Edward, not yet, I need to know you mean it. I still don't know what happened" She shook her head as her tears continued to fall, staining her perfect face.

"I don't know. I thought... Being in Forks... It made me think... I thought I was the same person... But I'm not. I honestly thought I hadn't changed as much as you thought I had, that it was best for you to get away from me so I couldn't hurt you again. But then when I realised I'd already hurt you again by leaving... And I felt sick... physically sick because of it."

"Edward... you're fucked up"

"You have no idea" I shook my head, "I've not gone back to being High School Edward, because he wouldn't have cared." She looked at me inquisitively, "I never stopped caring about what I had done to you. I'm completely different to High School Edward Bella!"

"I could have told you that a long time ago. I just thought you were in a mood, I was only going to be angry for a night or so... Jake just got me so wound up when I went to see him... I couldn't handle it, him and you. There was no contest you see..."

"And now?" I whispered, it was barely audible.

"There's still no contest Edward" She whispered back. And I smiled slightly at her, my heart lifting immediately as she returned the smile. I took a step towards her, but she stepped back. "I'm not ready Edward, I need... well I need time. You know that... well you know my feelings haven't changed. But... You were with someone tonight. I can't trust yours haven't"

I shook my head fiercely again. "Seriously Bella, if I explained to you who that was, you wouldn't even believe me. But you're right, I was going to... I thought I'd never get you back."

She nodded, "I know, I don't blame you. You've been alone all this time. At least I've had people to talk me out of stupid things. I just... well, I want you to be sure. To take it slowly" I nodded, "I'm going back to College in a few days... are you coming back?"

I hadn't even thought about College since leaving Bella. I couldn't think of anything worse than going back there where everything reminded me of her, but now... when we were at least on speaking terms...?

"I don't know yet. There's shit all to stay here for" I scoffed as I looked around the room.

"How did you even get the money for this?"

"The... erm... the Volvo" I said sheepishly and rubbed the back of my neck.

"No way! You didn't sell the Volvo?! I was becoming rather attached!" Bella said in amusement.

"I'll get another one if you loved it so much" I murmured.

"Please come back to College" She whispered, her head hung and staring at the floor.

"Anything" I whispered back, and her head lifted until her eyes met mine. Those recognisable eyes in an unrecognisable body.

"You can take me for dinner?"

"I'll take you for a hundred dinners if you want"

"Just one in an evening will do" She laughed, "We can start again maybe? After we've sorted everything... I'm not ready yet, you'll have to wait. I just want you around."

"I'll wait however long it takes. You just tell me when and I'll be there, flowers in hand" I smirked.

"Forget the flowers Edward, you're all the pretty I can take!" She laughed back.

"I need you around too you know? I can't seem to do much without you here"

"So I can see..." She giggled, taking another glance around my apartment, "There's not even anywhere to sit!"

"Look, woman!" I joked, "I was never planning on having any company! Especially of your high calibre your majesty!"

She laughed and then curtsied, making me laugh with her.

"I like the new look by the way" I murmured, looking over her appearance, trying to sound enthusiastic, but she winced at me.

"Really?"

I suddenly wasn't sure what she wanted me to say. So I shook my head, deciding honesty was probably best.

"No... It's not you at all. It's not the clothes, believe me... the clothes are... well... well I wanted to rip that dress off you earlier, which would have been a shame because it looked expensive. But you don't look like you, you were perfect."

She pulled a strand of hair, pulling it in front of her eyes to examine it. "I guess I could dye it back, I wasn't too sure anyway... You like the clothes though?"

"Believe me, I can definitely get used to the clothes Bella... those legs in heels... urgh" I groaned, thinking about the way her legs seemed to go on for miles.

"Alright I get it! Change the hair, but nothing else right?" I nodded, taking this as good step towards us being together again, "I need something in return though" She smirked, and I suddenly felt nervous, my eyes widening in response.

"Anything" I said tentatively.

"You seriously _have_ to cut your hair! It's one thing to have devastatingly beautiful sex hair, but you look like a hobo Edward!" She laughed and I feigned ignorance, pulling at my hair like she had, not quite making it to my eyes.

"You don't like the hobo look no, Bella?" She shook her head, smiling, "I guess I could get it cut if you want" I said as if it were a chore and laughed.

"Edward, I've really got to go. They'll wake up and not know where I am"

I nodded, not wanting to push her too far. "I'll book a flight back for College, I'll let you know which one"

"Good. I'll text you tomorrow or something... if that's ok?" She turned to head for the door.

"I'll be expecting it. Will you be alright getting back? I don't want anything to happen" She was now outside the door, and I'd walked over, leaning against the door frame.

"I'll be fine, it's light out now anyway, perfectly safe" She nodded towards the window and I turned to look, it was indeed light. I looked at my phone for the time, 7:30am... a perfectly reasonable, and safe time to be getting a cab.

"Ok. Just text me when you get back right?" I urged, and she nodded.

"Of course. I'll see you soon" She turned and walked down the hallway, I was watching her, but then she stopped, turning around again. I cocked my head at her inquisitively and she walked back towards me, putting her hands on my shoulders and pulling herself to kiss me on the cheek softly, and I leaned into the kiss slightly, relishing the feeling of her lips on me once again. She giggled slightly and whispered in my ear.

"Goodbye Edward"

I heard myself groan slightly as she pulled away, still giggling and she flew down the stairs back onto the street.


	19. Chapter 19

BPOV

Seeing him that apartment, it nearly killed me. I'd been lying there, trying to fall asleep, but all I could think about was him, and as much as I tried to forget, even for a second, about how bad he'd looked tonight, I just couldn't. So using his number that Alice had reprogrammed into my phone, "Just in case", I texted him, and that's when it all started.

I ended up inviting myself around to his apartment, to be honest, I could have met him anywhere, but I was slightly curious to see if his apartment had any signs of... well... that girl I saw him with in the alley. I got in cab and got there within 20 minutes, when I saw him standing across on the other side of the road it was completely different, whereas earlier in the alley he had no idea who I was, he definitely knew it was me now, and the look in his eyes made my heart flutter. He looked hurt, scared... and sorry. He looked sorry.

We had a really good talk about things. It definitely wasn't sorted at all, I'd managed to get a few explanations out of him, but I still wanted to know who that girl was, he didn't seem to want to answer that question, and I was beginning to wonder whether he'd met someone. I kind of needed to know he hadn't... done... hadn't gotten involved with anyone else, I wished that he hadn't, but I wasn't sure if he would be willing to talk to me about it.

When he'd told me he would come back to College my heart skipped a beat, to be honest, when I'd decided earlier in the evening that I would go back I hadn't really thought about how hard it would be without him being there, and seeing him again reminded me of how many of my memories of college were because of him. So even if we weren't dating straight away, to know that he was close to me, ready for me, I think that would make it a lot easier. Just to know that he still _wanted_ that with me was enough to make me cry, I thought he'd forgotten me.

When I left, I'd decided I was just going to leave, but I rethought it, I needed him to know I still cared, so I turned and kissed him on the cheek, he seemed to appreciate it, and I giggled at his reaction. When I got back onto the sidewalk though I realised I actually kinda wanted more. I hadn't noticed just how... tense I was, but I hadn't... well, gotten any for a fucking long time, especially since I initiated that sex ban in Forks. I was pretty much desperate. I knew he would be ready and willing if I were to suggest it, but I needed to sort everything out with him first. Maybe that will have to be done sooner rather than later though. I'd fucking missed him.

***

_What are you doing?_

I was currently sitting in my bedroom at Alice's, I hadn't seen Edward since yesterday morning, but we'd texted a lot. Just random things really, neither of us willing to push the conversation to a more serious level. I was sat crossed legged in the middle of my bed, wearing my boy shorts and vest top , waiting for a reply, I knew he'd been at work today, he'd taken yesterday off so that Emmett could talk to him, so he was doing a double today to make up for it. I'd stayed up late enough to text him the minute he finished, which he had told me earlier, was 11pm... who the hell wants coffee at 11pm?

_Just walking back. You? X_

I smiled, enjoying the fact that he'd returned to putting kisses at the end of his texts, every time I got a text from him I was genuinely happy. Happier than I'd been in a long time, all by a stupid little text with a kiss at the end.

_Sitting on my bed. Nothing much._

I wasn't quite ready to start adding kisses yet, not that I didn't want to. But I'd made it clear that things between us definitely were not sorted yet, so I was continuing to take things slowly with him.

_Where's everyone else? I do hope they haven't deserted you x_

I laughed to myself and then tried to concentrate on the noises emanating through the apartment, but then I wished I hadn't. Jasper had finally escaped his parents house and come up for a few days yesterday, and Alice and him had been making up for lost time ever since... so to speak. And well... Emmett and Rose never needed an excuse. I shuddered and tried to block them out. Impossible.

_Um... they're having... alone time. I'm like a blind person watching a porno. All I get is the audio._

Argh, I seriously couldn't keep up with this barrage on my eardrums, I got my iPod and pushed the buds into my ears, turning the volume up loud and hitting shuffle.

_Well at least there's not visual I suppose. Need a distraction? X_

I frowned at the message, suddenly worried about what he might be insinuating by a distraction.

_Like what?_

I threw myself back onto my bed, lying down, trying to concentrate on the music rather than the picture frames on the wall moving with the banging coming from Emmett and Rosalie's room.

_Nothing bad. I was just going to call you? Get a different type of audio? X_

I smiled, he was playing this very slow for me, and to be honest, I was really looking forward to hearing his voice again. I pulled the iPod buds out of my ear and threw them down onto my bedside cabinet, having to put up with the grunting and groaning for a few seconds before hitting call. He answered in one ring.

"_I would have called you Bella"_

"Yeah well, now you don't have to!" I said playfully into the phone, and I heard him chuckle on the other end.

"_Very true. Have you had a nice day?"_

"Um... haven't done much actually. Alice booked our plane tickets today we're leaving on Saturday"

"_Oh right, well my flight's tomorrow night, so... I guess I'll be there for when you get there? I could meet you at the airport if you wanted?"_

"You don't have to Edward"

"_I know I don't have to"_ He said, chuckling again slightly.

"Well if you want to then you can"

"_I'm only going to if you want me to"_

"We could be going at this all night Edward" I rolled my eyes, and I heard him cough awkwardly on the other end. "What?"

"_Nothing, I'll be there"_ I tried to think back to what I'd said that might evoke that reaction. Ahh... '_going at it all night'_ I suddenly got it and laughed.

"You've got a dirty mind Edward"

"_Well it's been a long time Bella, a lesser man may have exploded!"_ He said incredulously. I opened my mouth to retaliate, but realised I could get an answer from him about his... activities.

"How long?" I whispered, one of my hands playing with a strand of my hair.

"_The last time we..."_ He whispered back. I thought back to the last time we had sex, it was amazing like always. Angela had gone to Ben's again, they were quite the serious couple by this time, and so we had the place to ourselves. Edward had bought some wine, and we sat and had a drink on my bed, talking for a while, and when we both... felt the need, he pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me. His nearly empty wine glass had fallen to the floor, spilling its contents all over the floor. He'd kissed me furiously that night, like it would be the last time in a long time, but at the time we knew it wouldn't be. Strange how things turn out.

"Really?" I questioned, unable to believe him. "Is that true?"

"_Yes Bella"_ He breathed, _"Hang on a sec"._

I heard him mumble something which obviously wasn't to me, and then a door opened and closed. And he brought the phone back up to his ear. _"Sorry, just telling the landlord I was going tomorrow"_

"Ok"

"_Anyway yes. That was the last time, in your room, with the wine... and the stain we can't get out of that rug!"_ He laughed slightly at the end, which made me laugh as well.

"That's a long time..." I whispered, "Too long"

"_Yeah well, I wasn't going to cheat on y-"_

"Cheat on me?" I shook my head, had he felt the same feeling I'd had when Jacob was kissing me. Had he nearly...?

"_Yeah... well there was this girl... Sarah, the one from the alley... I could never... I didn't want to"_ I couldn't tell you the size of the smile that was plastered on my face at this. It was insane.

"I'm glad" I whispered happily.

"_I know you need to wait Bella, but seriously... if we ever... It's not going to be my best work!"_

I laughed audibly at his confession, "Well... let me see about that ok? I'm sure I can work some magic!"

"_Oh yeah? What's that gonna be? I'll need a fucking miracle to keep this one going for longer than a few minutes!"_ He was still laughing, but this kind of talk was making me think about how much I missed him. As much as I needed to make him wait, I couldn't deny how much I loved him, how much I still needed him, how much he... affected me.

"Well, maybe..."

I bit my lip, trying to think of something to say that would get the reaction from him that I wanted. I could feel my need for him making itself known, throbbing between my legs.

"Maybe I could... take you in my mouth..." I heard his breathing hitch and come out in a hiss, "Get it all out of your system... so to speak, before I climb on your dick and ride you till I scream your name"

"_Fuck me Bella."_ He breathed, and I could sense my breathing had picked up, my chest heaving with my laboured breathing, _"Sorry, I wasn't expecting that. It sounds... ugh"_ He groaned into the phone and I closed my eyes, relishing in the sound I hadn't heard in too long a time.

"You wouldn't say no then?" I joked, as much as I could when I could hardly comprehend what I was saying.

"_I would never say no to you again Bella... I've missed you so much... I think about you all the time. I can't get you out of my head"_ He was breathing heavily now.

"Tell me" I urged, my hand resting tentatively on my stomach, just above my boy shorts. Not sure if this is what I really wanted to do.

"_All the time Bella"_ He breathed, his voice barely audible, _"I can't... I can't stop myself... it's always your name I say"_

I was silent on the other side of the phone, trying to decipher what he'd just told me. Had he just told me he calls my name when he jacks off? That's kind of hot.

"_What are you doing Bella? Where are you?"_ He breathed again.

"Um... I'm lying on my bed..."

"_What are you wearing?"_

Oh God. This was going to turn into something more than just a casual conversation about sex, and my little problem between my legs was beginning to seep through to my panties, making them moist.

"Um... a vest and panties..." I heard him groan slightly, "What are you doing?"

"_I'm on my bed... thinking about you. I need you Bella... I'm... Ugh... I'm so fucking hard you have no idea"_

I took in a shaky breath, not knowing what to say. "I... Edward, I... I'm so... tense"

"_Do it Bella... touch yourself"_ His voice sounded urgent, and it spurred me on. My hand that was still resting on my stomach slid down slowly, I let one finger dip slowly beneath the waistband of my boy shorts and I exhaled heavily in anticipation.

"Are you?" I whispered, as one finger slipped in between my folds, feeling the moisture coat my fingers.

"_Do you want me to?"_ His voice was strained, and as I let one of my finger press firmly against my clit I gasped.

"Yes" My voice was breathy, and I heard him take a sharp breath. I could hear his zipper coming down quickly and he sighed heavily, groaning as he finally came into contact with himself.

"_God Bella, I'm so hard. It's all for you Bella, you do this to me"_ His voice was harsh, and his breaths came out in the same rhythm he was obviously pumping.

"Oh God Edward!" I moaned as I let a finger inside of me, before adding a second, and pumping them in and out of me in the same pace I could hear his breathing. "Edward, this feels so good"

"_Bella... this really isn't enough... I need you... It's not the same"_

"Fuck... Edward... I would be so much better!" I let my thumb press firmly on my clit as my fingers pumped furiously.

"_No doubt"_ He grunted.

I felt the coil in my stomach tightening, and my walls clenched slightly. "I'm gonna... ugh"

"_Please do it Bella... I need to hear you"_ He sounded desperate... My eyes clenched tight together, and my back arched up off the bed.

"Say it... Please say it"

"_Anything babe... I'll say anything..."_

"You have to tell me..." I breathed out, my voice desperate and coming out in a whimper.

"_What baby?"_

My heart was pounding and my body stiffened. "I need to know that you still... lo-"

"_I love you Bella"_ He whispered harshly, and that was all it took, I came hard, my walls clenching tightly around my fingers.

"Oh FUCK! Edward!" I moaned. My body melted into the bed, coming down from its high, I tried to let my breathing calm down a little before opening my eyes.

"_Fuck Bella, that was amazing... did I do that to you?"_

"You always do it to me Edward. No one else. No contest" I whispered, I could tell he was close, and I wanted to push him over the edge.

"_Oh my God Bella... Can you... if you mean it... Would you..."_

"I still love you Edward"

He was silent, but I knew he had come. I heard his breathing slow down to a normal pace. I decided not to talk again until I knew he was ready. I believed that he meant it when he told me he loved me, and I knew that when I told him it was from the bottom of my heart. I still wasn't sure whether I could say it face to face to him... but tonight, that was good enough for the moment. We'd both said what we'd needed to hear from each other, and that was a good step forward for us.

"_Bella?"_ He whispered after 5 minutes of silence. _"You still there?"_

"Yes"

"_I... I didn't know if y-"_

"I meant it Edward... but..."

"_We still need to wait. I know... I agree, but... just to hear you say it... I just... oh God I don't know_ _what I'm saying Bella"_ He chuckled nervously at the end, and I smiled weakly my end. _"I meant it too... every word. This whole time... every thing's been about you"_

"I've missed you so much" I whispered, feeling a tear run down my face.

"_You'll never know how sorry I am"_ He sounded upset as well, and his voice was barely audible.

"I need to go. Alice wants to take me shopping tomorrow to get more clothes for College. I might get my hair sorted as well"

"_No, don't get it done yet. Wait until we get back... I want to... well I want to see if I change my mind"_

"Do you think you're going to?" I joked

"_Probably not!"_ He laughed, _"But just wait ok?"_

"Ok fine. But for God's sake you better not be waiting to do yours. You cannot go back to College like that!"

"_I'm going to get it done tomorrow before my flight. I quit work today so I could have the day free tomorrow"_

"Oh... well... maybe we could... meet up for lunch or something?"

"_Bella. We don't have to. I'm not pushing you... let's just wait ok? And I'll see you at the airport when you get there. It's only a day and a half..."_

I shut my eyes and nodded slowly, "Ok" I whispered.

"_Right... now you get to bed. I'll text you tomorrow"_

"Ok... night"

"_Goodnight Bella... I love you"_ He whispered the last part tentatively, as if I wouldn't return it.

"You know I love you" I whispered back, "Goodnight".

I pressed end on the phone before we had an awkward goodbye. I smiled slightly and settled myself under the comforter, pulling it up over me before leaning over and turning the lamp off next to me. I lay there for a while, thinking about whether it would be different this time with Edward. He'd always been... distracted with me I think. He was always looking for where he could slip up. That first night when he'd got so angry with Emmett, and pulling me out of the bar. He was so possessive, and even after I'd pulled him up on it, it died down a little, but I could always see it in his eyes when he saw me talking to someone he didn't know.

I hoped that this time he would be a little calmer. Knowing that I was serious about him, and that I wanted to be with him and no-one else. Time would only tell though. Thinking about this, I let sleep take me.


	20. Chapter 20

EPOV

After Bella left my apartment that morning I immediately phoned work to tell them I was sick, a 24 hour bug I said, and added that I would make it up to them by doing a double the next day. The manager sounded a little suspicious but accepted my compromise, and so I went back to bed for an hour before getting up to the sound of my phone ringing.

"Emmett"

"Right, where am I meeting you?"

"Um... I dunno, where are you now?" I rubbed my tired face as I stood up.

"Just coming over Brooklyn Bridge, where's your place?"

Shit, I didn't think him coming here would be the best idea. Bella hadn't taken well to it, and I think Emmett might be a bit more vocal on my decisions if we were in the privacy of my shit hole.

"Edward for fucks sake, just give me somewhere!"

"Um... there's a Juniors about 5 minutes from mine, I'll meet you there?"

I gave him the address and heard him direct the driver there, and then he hung up. This wasn't going to be a good day.

Whilst walking to meet Emmett my phone vibrated so I pulled it out to look and saw a message from Bella, I smiled instantly and held my phone a little closer to my face.

_Sorry! I completely forgot to text you, Emmett got me as soon as I walked in. Good luck with him today, he's not a good mood._

I could see my destination now, and saw a cab pulling up outside, I was still a little distance, so I decided to text back quickly.

_I'll be fine. Public place... hopefully that will stop him trying to kill me... for now. X_

I pushed my phone into my pocket again and pulled my hood up over my head, for no other reason that it was so fucking cold. I shoved my hands in my pockets and sped up my walking to get there. When I got there he was stood outside glaring at me.

"Are we meeting here for a particular reason?"

"Um... my place is a bit of a mess" I shrugged.

"So Bella told me" He said curtly and turned, pushing the door open forcefully. We sat in silence before ordering, Emmett staring at me menacingly over the top of his menu at every opportunity. When the waitress came over to take our order she looked at us both tentatively, she could sense the tension between us and so took our order as quickly as possible before leaving with a nervous smile.

"So..." I said nervously, hoping that Emmett had some intention of talking today.

"Why did Bella come to your place this morning?" His eyes were emotionless, much like they were the evening I left.

"She wanted to. She texted me"

"Why would she do that?"

"I don't know Emmett!" I exclaimed, pushing my hands down onto the table, "I did what you said, but she contacted _me_, not the other way round. And she invited herself to my place"

"What did you talk about?"

"I don't really see what that has to do with you" I said through gritted teeth.

"I care about her Edward"

I scoffed. He was being a little too over protective, I felt my eyes widen as I imagined that maybe Emmett was interested in Bella... I opened my mouth to accuse him, but he seemed to pre-empt my move.

"She's like my little sister Edward, I don't... I would never" He looked apologetic now, and I relaxed back into my chair a little.

"We just had a chat about things Emmett. We're nowhere near being sorted, I know that. But it's a step forward. Nothing happened."

"I just... I can't believe..." His eyes went from angry to desperate, and I frowned in confusion, "I thought you were fucking dead dude. You didn't... no-one knew where..."

"Emmett..." I sighed and reached out to pat him on the shoulder, "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think..."

"With that and the fact that Jake took Bella... it was like... I don't know... Everyone was so worried. When Alice finally spoke to Bella, she phoned me and she was distraught Edward, she literally broke down. I had to run to her room and make sure she was ok, Jasper was in a class and I was the only one she could get hold of"

My breath hitched as I realised just how much my actions had affected everyone. I really didn't think about anyone else when I left. I'd imagined that Bella would stay with my family, that she'd be safe and they would help her, but everything fell apart.

"Mom and Dad..." I whispered.

"You need to call them" He stated. "I haven't told them yet, I thought it would be best if you did.

I nodded, and then the waitress came over with our food. We ate in silence, and when we finished Emmett looked up at me again.

"She's going to forgive you"

I snapped my head up at the sincerity in his voice, hoping to see it reach his eyes, and I was surprised when it did.

"She shouldn't, but she will"

"I'm not expecting anything"

"Fucking look after her dude. Make things right."

I nodded again, smiling weakly at him.

***

The next day I woke early to do my double shift at work. I was going to quit today, just hand in my apron and go, and not soon enough, if I'd thought I could just do that for the rest of my life, not caring what happened to me, I was wrong.

Yesterday with Emmett had been ok in the end. We talked things through and sorted a lot of stuff out, including my problem with his closeness to Bella, but he assured me there was only brotherly love there, nothing more, and I believed him.

I'd phoned my Mom as well, and we both cried, I was overwhelmed by her reaction to my voice on the phone and all of my emotions came flooding to the surface. Mom said that Dad was in too much of a state to talk to me, but he'd been listening to me on speakerphone and was happy I was safe.

I'd also been in contact with Bella throughout the day, we sent each other little texts telling each other what we were doing, and if we'd seen something funny. It was funny, but every time I saw her name on my phone my heart skipped a beat, and I had a huge smile on my face. How I'd ever thought I could live without this girl in my life I had no idea. If I thought I'd loved her before, how I felt now was nothing in comparison, this girl was my life, I loved her more than... anything.

My shift was absolutely boring, and at 11pm, when it was finally time for me to leave I was so happy to quit. The satisfaction clearly evident in my voice as I smirked and walked out. I'd managed to secure a flight yesterday so I knew that I was definitely leaving, and I was thrilled.

As I was walking home I got a text from Bella... and that's when it all happened. I couldn't believe my ears when Bella initiated the phone sex. I'd had phone sex before with girls in Forks, but it was nothing... absolutely nothing, compared to this. Bella sounded exquisite on the other side of the line, her breathing and her whimpers sending shivers up and down my body. When she'd come, it was like nothing I'd ever heard before, it was like all my sense were heightened, she'd asked me to tell her I loved her, and I couldn't deny her anything. It came out of my mouth quickly, and I was worried she wouldn't believe me. Once she'd come I didn't think I would be able to... I asked her if she return the favour, obviously only if she meant it though, and much to my surprise she said it. She said it with so much authority and confidence that it completely threw me. I came, but didn't even notice, I was completely lost in the fact that Bella still loved me. As much as I thought she couldn't and shouldn't... she did.

When she offered to meet me the next day, I thought about it for a while, but I didn't want her to feel obligated, so I refused. I desperately wanted to see her, but I needed her to know that I was as serious about taking it slow as she was.

***

The next day when I woke up, I jumped out of bed instantly, giving myself a headrush in the process. I looked around my small apartment and smiled. I'd be out of here soon, thank fuck! I grabbed my bag from under my bed and threw my stuff in, I hardly had anything, it didn't even fill the small bag. Just a few sets of clothes and other bits, it was quite sad actually.

Once I was packed, I left my bag on the bed and looked at the clock. Midday, I needed to be at the airport soon, but I'd promised Bella I would get my hair sorted, so I jogged round the block and found a small place and had a trim. Even I had to admit, it did look a lot better now, I hadn't realised just how bad it had gotten. I paid the lady and jogged back to my apartment, grabbed the bag from my bed and headed out, flipping the bird to the building as I posted my keys through the letter box of my landlords place. I smiled as I hailed a cab, and sat through the journey looking at my phone, wondering if I should text Bella. I knew she was busy today, Alice had her shopping, but maybe she'd want to hear from me... expect to hear from me? I shook my head as we pulled up outside JFK, I climbed out, handing the driver his money and stood, looking at the airport for a while.

I checked in, and was sitting in departures, waiting for my flight to be called, I looked at my phone again, still indecisive as to what was best, but then her name came up, she was calling me. I smiled an insane smile and hit answer.

"Hello stranger" I joked

"Hello hobo!" She laughed, and my smile grew wider, "I was hoping to catch you before you got on your flight"

"Well you're in luck, I've got another 15 minutes or so"

"Oh good!"

"How's your day been? Shopping hard?" I seriously could not keep the smile off my face as I spoke to her, it was a little embarrassing to be honest.

"Oh my God you have no idea, Alice is a demon I swear!"

"Lots of lovely new things though?"

"Of course! I'll have to model them for you! I got this really cute little blue dress and ma-"

"Oh God, you've actually turned into her haven't you?!" I exclaimed, laughing, as she enthused about her purchases.

"I don't sound like her do I?" She sounded horrified as I continued to laugh, "Edward it's not funny! What am I going to do?"

"Just spend a bit more time with me and I'll get you back to normal!"

Then there was an awkward silence that took me by surprise, I hadn't meant for that to come out quite like that, all I'd meant was that I thought she should spend a little time away from Alice, not necessarily with me if she didn't want to.

"Bella I-"

"I think it's a good idea" She whispered, and my eyes widened in response, "Things can't... progress if we only ever communicate over the phone!"

"Very true" I laughed weakly, glancing up at the departure screen, they were calling first class, so I still had about 5 minutes. "Babe, I have like, 5 minutes, they're calling first class"

"Well I better make this quick then!" She laughed, "I just wanted to check you no longer looked like a beggar?"

"Bella, it was _not_ that bad!" I groaned, only to hear her giggle on the other end of the line. "It wasn't!"

"Well it might have been Sarah's thing, but I like my men a little more... coiffured!" I swallowed hard and sighed. "I'm not jealous Edward... Nothing happened, right?"

"Of course not, I do have _some_ willpower. We kissed, that's all"

"Exactly, so I have nothing to be jealous of... I mean, if I _was_ jealous, I would have hunted her down and had a full on cat fight with the bitch!"

I laughed as she made an attempt at a growl on the other end of the phone, "Would that be with or without mud and bikinis involved? I need a visual I think!" I chuckled.

"Do you really want to talk about this before you get on a flight?" She teased, and my face dropped as I looked around at the other passengers around me.

"Urgh... always ruining my fun Bella!" People around me were starting to stand and make their way over to the desk, I stood up and hung around at the back of the line that was forming. "So am I meeting you at the airport tomorrow or what?"

"I don't know..."

"Well do you want me to Bella?" I rolled my eyes, not wanting to go round in circles like we did before.

"If you want to"

"Well I want to see you..."

"I want to see you too"

"I'll come then?" I held my phone between my ear and shoulder awkwardly, handing the hostess my passport and ticket and she pointed at my phone, reminding me that I would need to turn it off, I nodded as Bella still didn't say anything.

"Yeah if you want"

"Bella..." I groaned in annoyance as I walked down the tunnel to the plane, "I'm literally just about to get on the plane... am I coming to get you or what?"

"Oh God... Um... Yes please" She rushed, and I smiled again.

"Good right, well... as I don't have a car I'll probably just grab a cab. Get the others to get their own cab ok? I don't fancy the daggers I know I'm gonna get from Rose" I was stood right by the door of the plane now, with other passengers passing me and going to take their seats, I could see there weren't many left now though.

"She'll behave I promise"

"It doesn't matter if she doesn't, the only person I care about is you ok?"

"What about Emmett?" She laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Well of course Emmett as well! Right Bella, I really do have to go now" I said reluctantly as the last passenger remaining walked past me and onto the plane.

"Ok..."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yup, bright and early! Have a good flight"

"I will, thank you, bye Bella"

"Bye"

"Oh and Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you" I heard her take a breath to reply, but shut my phone off quickly as the hostess glared at me, I smiled at her and she seemed to warm to me slightly. Even showing me to my seat, and telling me her to call her personally if I needed anything. Did she not just hear me tell Bella I loved her?

When the plane landed I only had a carry on, so I left swiftly, grabbing a cab back to campus. I walked into my room to see that Emmett and Jasper had left everything exactly where I'd left it, including a picture of Bella and me on my bedside table. Emmett had put some of his giant sized clothes on my bed, so I threw them onto his bed and flopped down, pulling my phone out of my pocket, turning it on for the first time since getting off the plane.

Almost as soon as I turned it on I received 2 texts.

_I love you too x_

My smile grew wide as I realised that was the first time she'd ended her message with a kiss. I looked at the other text, from Rosalie... this was weird, she never contacted me... ever.

_Bella's made me text you to promise you I'll be nice 2moro. I'm promising nothing jackass. I'll be all over you like a fly on shit if you step a foot out of line... got it?_

I laughed hard at her choice of words, never one to step around an issue was Rosalie.

I unpacked my few belongings and decided that I should probably just go to bed. I got ready for bed and sleep took me quickly.

***

The next morning I woke up late, I turned sleepily to look at my clock and saw that I was already running half an hour late.

"Shit" I groaned as I flew out of bed, pulling on clothes, skipping on the shower, I didn't have enough time, I would have one later. What would Bella think of me if the first thing I said I would do went horribly wrong and I wasn't there? I threw the door open and ran out, slamming it behind me, before realising I'd left my keys inside... and my wallet. Shit! I thought to turn around, but there was little point, I wouldn't be able to get in.

I ran outside and grabbed a cab, explaining to him that if he would wait at the airport for me and Bella to come back out and then drive us back then I would pay him then, plus extra for his trouble. He complained a little but after I explained that I was running late he agreed and sped off towards the airport. When we pulled up outside I pushed the door open with too much force and it swung back into my face as I tried to get out, I swore loudly and held my nose as I pushed it open again, getting out a little more carefully and shutting the door behind me. I jogged into the building, frantically searching for arrivals, they would be here by now. I was still holding my nose as I saw them. My eyes lit up as I saw Bella standing there looking around, and when her eyes met mine I lifted the hand that had been holding my nose to give her a small wave, but saw her frown.

I walked over to them all and greeted them all before looking at Bella.

"Hi..." I whispered awkwardly.

"What the hell happened to you? Your nose is bleeding!" She reached up to touch my face gingerly and I winced as she ghosted my nose.

"I've had the _worst_ morning, you have no idea!" I laughed as I took her hand in mine, pulling it away from my face. I saw Emmett laughing from a little distance away and turned to look at him. "Seriously Em, I think I might have broken it!" He laughed harder this time, turning to Jasper who was staring at me wide eyed, looking like he was about to burst if he didn't laugh. Alice and Rosalie were talking amongst themselves, Rosalie was yet to even glance in my direction, doing well so far.

"You ready to go?" I asked as I turned to Bella again. She nodded and smiled at me as I released her hand from mine. I'd forgotten I'd been holding it, but when I dropped her hand her face seemed to drop, I cocked my head at her. "Ready for that are you?"

She shrugged, "It felt ok"

"Fine!" I said enthusiastically and took her hand again, walking back out of the building and directed her to our personal cabbie.

"Oooh chauffeur, really?" Bella joked as I opened her door for her.

"Another part of my bad day, seriously, it's been fucking awful!" She laughed as I jogged round to my side and slid in the car beside her. She handed me a tissue, and I frowned at her in confusion.

"You're getting blood all over everything" She motioned towards my chest, and I saw blood all over my t-shirt and groaned before holding the tissue to my nose.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry, this isn't exactly how I imagined seeing you again" She laughed in response. "I was running late, then I locked myself out of my room, left my wallet in there, got in this taxi, then because I was running late threw the door open and it swung back and hit my face" She laughed even harder and I stared at her, a faux icy glare. "Bella, it's not funny, look at me!"

"I am!" She said, still laughing hard, clutching her stomach. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She said, whilst trying to calm down, but still giggling slightly. She breathed deeply then looked at me apologetically, one hand reaching towards my face and pulling the tissue away from my nose, I winced slightly in anticipation, "Don't be such a baby Edward, let me look", she leaned in closer to me and I eyed her suspiciously.

"What are you Doctor Bella now are you?"

"Would you like that?" She whispered seductively before leaning back, and I watched her with wide eyes as she bent over double laughing again. "Oh my God, you should see your face!"

"Thanks a lot!" I mumbled.

"Aww Edward don't be upset with me!" She shuffled across to me and leaned her head on my shoulder, looking up at me as I glanced down at her. Then she sat up again and stretched up to me to kiss me on the cheek.

Abruptly the cab pulled up outside my building and Bella opened her purse and pulled out money.

"Bella, no"

"Look Edward, you can pay me back ok? But if you go up there now then it'll keep going up"

I sighed and rolled my eyes as she handed the cab driver the money plus some extra, he smiled and I saw him check her out in his mirror as she exited the cab. I huffed and climbed out.

"What's up champ?" Oh god, was she calling me that again? Maybe it just slipped out.

"Nothing" I grumbled, looking at the ground as she walked around to me.

"Don't 'nothing' me Cullen, what's up? I said you could pay me back the money"

"It's not the money"

"So it _is_ something then?"

"Bella... don't do this"

"No... I will do whatever I want. What's the matter with you?" She stood directly in front of me and crossed her arms across her chest, staring at me intently.

"Urgh!" I groaned, throwing my arms in the air dramatically, "I just... I saw the driver checking you out, and I was going to say something, but... I can't because... well because you're single. I have no claim over you anymore"

"God Edward is that it?" She sighed.

"What do you mean '_is that it?'?"_ I said angrily.

"Edward, I'm yours, I love you. Just because we're taking things slowly... doesn't mean I'm single... I'm all yours, protect away!" She giggled at the last bit as she threw her hand out in a grand gesture.

"Really?"

"Yes Edward! Although I'm not sure if what we did the other night can be considered going slow"

"I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for? I started it!" She seemed almost proud of herself, not willing to let me take responsibility for it.

"That's true..."

"Yes it is! Anyway, I'm not sorry about it... are you?"

"Of course not!" I was surprised she would even think I was sorry it happened.

"Well... Neither of us should be saying sorry then. I quite enjoyed it"

"Quite?" I questioned jokingly, as I took her hand and pulled her towards my building.

"Hey, don't want you getting all big headed do I?" She laughed as she hit my arm playfully, I pulled her into the doorway of my building and leaned her against the wall.

"Well, Miss Swan" I whispered as I leaned in towards her ear, letting my lips ghost it as I spoke, her breathing hitched, but she didn't push me away, "I for one thought it was the best phone sex I've ever had", I leaned my head down to hers and kissed her cheek lightly before pulling away.

"Hey hey, where are you going?" She tugged on my hand as I attempted to walk away, and I walked back to her sluggishly, pretending like it was some kind of chore. She used my hand to steady herself as she pulled herself up to my face and brushed her lips against mine agonisingly lightly before pulling away and biting her lip nervously. It was better than I had imagined, I'd imagined our next first kiss to be fierce and animalistic, but it was... pure agony. It was probably the best kiss I'd ever experienced, and I could hardly feel it, but just having her lips on mine again felt like I was in heaven. I smiled stupidly and pulled her away from the wall again.

"No Edward, I've got to take my stuff back to Angela's"

"I'll help" I offered, grabbing her case from the floor and beginning to walk to the building next door.

"Edward, you don't have to"

I turned, and squinted in the bright light, but smiled. "I know I don't have to. But how am I supposed to spend time with you if I don't?"

She giggled, rolled her eyes and then skipped happily towards me, taking my hand and pulling herself up again to kiss my cheek, but pulling me back to my building again, I frowned in confusion.

"Well, if you're going to help I have to sort your face out first!"

**A/N - Sorry about the slow update, don't worry, I've not got writers block because I've got the entire story finished on my laptop, I've just been busy and ill this week and haven't had a chance to get round to it. There's only a couple more chapters now I'm afraid, but I could be persauded to write an epilogue if everyone wants one?**

**I'm also writing another story, it'll be called "Damage Control" and I think it'll be really good. Got a little writers block at the moment, but I keep going back and adding a few pages every now and then. Anyone who's read my profile will know that I wont publish it until it's all done on my laptop, because I don't like to get writers block while people are waiting. I'll try and finish it before the last chapter of this story goes up, but if not, add me on your authors alert if you think you'll be interested.**

**Feel free to leave me reviews and whatnot. I love hearing from you all! Sx**


	21. Chapter 21

BPOV

A kiss like that isn't going too fast is it? I mean, I still loved him, and I'd told him that already, so a kiss didn't seem like such a big step, but when I'd actually plucked up the courage to do it, it wasn't the kiss I'd wanted, I'd gotten scared and decided that a ridiculously soft kiss would be better, and then I pulled away before I'd even started! I was angry with myself when I'd pulled away, but he offered to help me take my stuff back to my room. I'd decided that if Edward and I were going to try things again, then it would be better for me to be at Angela's at least then if I needed to have some space I wouldn't have to deal with his best friends, I knew Angela knew when to leave me alone. I'd assumed Edward would go and sort out his blood stained clothes before helping, but he seemed to have forgotten, so I pulled him back into the building and up the stairs. He knocked on the door, as he'd left his keys in there earlier and Jasper opened the door ever so slightly, sticking his head out.

"What?"

"Jazz I need to come in..." Edward replied, pointing at his bloody nose.

Jasper's head disappeared behind the door and five seconds later came back out again, rolling his eyes. I held Edward's hand tightly, wondering what was going on. "Right, come in then" He opened the door wide and gestured for us to come in, Alice was standing in the middle of the room looking sheepish.

"Hey Alice" I said awkwardly.

"Hi"

"Everything... ok?"

"Yeah of course, you just... caught us... at a bad time" She hooked her thumbs into her jeans pockets and hung her head in embarrassment, I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Right you, grab some clothes and get in the bathroom, I'll sort you out" I said as I pushed Edward in the direction of his closet.

"Oh really?!" Jasper joked, which was unlike him, so myself, Edward and Alice all turned to look at him and he shrugged, "Can I not get away with stuff like that?"

"It's just not the same as when Em does it... I'd give up if I were you!" Alice said walking over to him to wrap her arms around him protectively. Edward grabbed some clothes from his closet and walked into the bathroom, then stopped to turn and look at me expectantly.

"I'm coming Edward" I said walking towards him.

"That's what she said" Jasper joked again, all of us turning to look at him again. "Ok, I'm sorry, I'll stop now, it seemed funny in my head".

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, Edward sat on the toilet seat, and I had a sudden flashback to our little encounter in the toilet cubicle, but shook it off as I searched through the cabinets.

"I really doubt you'll find anything useful in there, love" Edward said, leaning forward slightly, trying to see what was in the cabinets.

"Urgh, no I don't think I will..." I exclaimed, pulling out a magazine and held in between my thumb and index finger as far away from me as possible, but towards Edward who leaned back.

"That is so not mine!" He whined, trying to push it back towards me, "I'm an ass man myself", he laughed slightly and winced as it obviously hurt his nose.

"This is disgusting! You should tell Emmett to sort this out... it's a bathroom for God's sake!"

"I will I will, now will you put it away?"

I scoffed in disgust and put it back in the cabinet, shutting the door on it.

"And, infuriatingly, you were right, there was nothing useful in there. Guy's bathrooms are rubbish"

He laughed again and I watched him wince again. I started running the hot tap and got some tissue, wetting it with the hot water before edging towards him slightly, I knelt down in front of him, and he opened his legs so I could sit between them as he continued to sit on the toilet. I noticed his breathing change as I got closer and then looked up to see his staring down my top.

"Now... if I _were_ a boob man..." He whispered, and I hit him playfully on the arm, laughing.

I began to dab lightly at his nose and winced every time I knew I'd caused him pain, however he tried to hide it as much as possible. His eyes were closed tightly, and he would let out a little hiss every time my pressure was too hard. Once I had cleared up the blood on his face his injury wasn't even noticeable, just a little swelling. He still had his eyes shut, so I leant up and pecked him very lightly on the nose. His eyes opened quickly and he smiled.

"All done" I whispered.

"Thank you, you're a great nurse"

"Well you're a wonderful patient, I would hardly have even known I was hurting you"

"I'll try harder next time" He laughed, and I used his knees to push myself up from my kneeling position so that I was standing in front of him.

"I like the hair by the way, now it's much more 'tramp chic'!" I joked as he stood up, running a hand through it.

"Thanks" His eyes scanned me up and down for a few seconds, I was wearing my skinny jeans, gladiator sandals, and a tight green t-shirt, my hair still blonde, and poker straight running down my back. "I'm glad you... er... approve", he said after looking at me, realising I had noticed him.

"You too" I giggled, turning on the spot for him. "Finished looking?"

"Um... not quite" He smiled cheekily and put his hands on my waist, pulling me flush against him. My heartbeat sped up and I could feel my breathing becoming laboured, pushing my breasts up and into him with every breath. I looked up at him tentatively as he looked down at me, a playful smile on his face. One of his hands ran its way up my body and gathered itself in my hair. "I've still not decided about this Bella"

I turned my head slightly to look at the hair he was holding in his hand. "No?"

He shook his head regretfully. "I think we might have to wait a while before I make up my mind"

"How so?"

"Well Bella... you see... One of the reasons I _loved_ your old hair was because when we... I have to see how it holds up when it's put... under pressure... so to speak" I looked up at him incredulously and he grinned at me. I put my hands on his chest and pushed myself away, but still in his hold, so not far away, we were still touching.

"Oh really? Well, if you're not careful, there will be no pressure for it to hold up against!" His eyes widened in shock, and so I pulled myself back to him, tracing his jaw line with my fingers.

"Sorry Bella, it wa-"

"Oh shut up Edward, we both know it's going to happen, I'm currently trying to convince myself not to jump you right now"

"Oh Bella... don't strain yourself!" He joked pulling me even closer against him, and I laughed in response, pushing him away again.

"Right, champ. Get dressed and then you can be a big strong man and carry all my bags!"

"Oh God how many do you have?"

"Well, I have 2 weeks worth of Alice's shopping trips in these!" I laughed, "They're tightly packed!"

I opened the bathroom door slowly, hoping I wasn't walking in on anything I wouldn't want to see, but as I peeped my head around the door I saw them both sitting there, just playing on the PS3. Moment must have passed. I shrugged and went to sit on Edward's bed, waiting for him to change into some clothes without blood all over them.

I heard the shower running and guessed that in his rush this morning he'd skipped it, he came out of the bathroom half an hour later as I was mindlessly flipping through a magazine that Alice had bought at the airport.

"Seriously Alice, I love you but what have you done to Bella?" Edward asked, laughing while running a hand through his hair. I let the magazine drop to my lap as I was sat on his bed and looked up at him incredulously.

"What are you talking about?" Alice and I both said together, I looked at her and we both laughed slightly before turning back to Edward.

He walked over to me and picked up the magazine, waving the cover in front of my face. "Vogue Bella? _Really_? I seem to remember you as more of a Cosmo girl?" He smirked as I blushed furiously remembering that I suggested he thank Cosmo for all my bedroom antics, our eyes locked and I blushed even more, biting my lip, his head lowered to mine a little more, but he seemed to lose confidence and pulled away looking back at Alice.

"She picked it up, I didn't ask her to read it!"

"I got bored of waiting for you Edward, what was I supposed to do? Sit here thinking about how insanely gorgeous you are?!" I joked sarcastically.

"Well that's a start!" He smirked again, before offering me his hand, I took it gingerly and he pulled me up onto my feet, but I stumbled over my feet and ended up falling into his chest.

"I have a serious problem with this falling business!" I mumbled, pushing myself off him as he chuckled, I hadn't realised his hands had instinctively found their way to my hips as I fell, but as I moved away I glanced down, he must have noticed too, and pulled his hands away quickly and breathed an almost silent, "sorry" to me.

"Right... erm... let's get these bags moved yeah?" He said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing at Jasper rather than at me, but as my back was to Jasper I couldn't tell if they were communicating silently. I nodded before turning around and walking towards a pile of suitcases. "No shit! They are _not_ all yours!" He exclaimed as I turned around again to look at him.

"Um... no?" I replied as a question.

"You didn't have all of those at the airport!"

"Well we didn't want to scare you! New Bella seems to love a bit of shopping!" Alice chirped, jumping up and down excitedly on the sofa next to Jasper who looked at Edward apologetically, "I took them to hide them from you."

"Thanks a lot" He mumbled and walked past me, picking up a few cases, there were only two left so I lifted the handles and started wheeling them out of the room.

"I did say you didn't have to help me Edward"

"You would be able to do all of this on your own would you?" He asked, hobbling out of the room with 4 cases. I just huffed and headed down the hallway to the stairs.

I got outside and waited for him to make his way, when he got to me he looked knackered, he was bright red and out of breath. "Just tell me I'll appreciate all of the stuff in these cases?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me exasperatedly.

I thought for a few seconds, I couldn't think of anything that I'd bought that I didn't think looked good... Shit. Alice made me buy all of that lingerie, I hadn't worn any of it since I'd bought it. It had reminded me of the fact that nobody would appreciate so I'd hidden it all in one of the suitcases.

"There's some stuff in there that you will _love_" I teased slightly.

I turned to walk towards my building and he jogged to catch up with me, dropping the bags he was carrying and spinning me around by my arm.

"Woah, wait up. What was that?" He smirked, his hand lingering on my arm where he'd turned me.

I hung my head and looked around at the bags on the floor, biting my lip as I glanced back up at him. I shrugged and released myself from his grip before turning around again. I heard him picking up my cases again, and heard his footsteps behind me. "I mean it Bella, what was that?"

"I've got some lovely new clothes Edward, you'll like them" I grinned, knowing he couldn't see my face as he was walking behind me.

"That's not what you meant... you didn't say it like that..." I heard him sigh deeply, but carried on walking, "Dammit Bella, I don't think I can do this!" I turned, shocked, to see him standing still about 20 yards behind me. "Everything you... All I can think about is having sex with you Bella!"

My eyes widened as I looked around to see if anyone had heard him, there were a few people who turned their heads. "SHHH!" I sounded to him loudly, putting a finger to my lips.

"No Bella. I know you want to go slow... I just... I need you to know that I can't stop thinking about it ok? Everything you say... even when you're joking, you have _no idea_ what you're doing to me!"

"Edward, let's just get these bags upstairs ok?" I said, my head motioning to the nearby doors to my building, "Then we'll talk" He nodded and followed me quickly into the building and up the stairs. I opened the door while he was still struggling with my cases, I pushed the door open and held it open with one of my bags as I walked into the room. Angela wasn't there, I guessed she was still at home, or with Ben, if she was still with him. Edward came in behind me, looking around before wheeling my cases over to the side of my bed before falling onto it lazily.

I shut the door after pulling my bag away from it and walked over to my other bags, putting it with them, sitting next to Edward on the bed, he was lying across the bed horizontally, his legs draped over the edge, and his t-shirt was pulled up slightly revealing a sliver of skin between the top of his jeans and his shirt. He hands were rubbing his face, but I noticed he was avoiding his nose. He groaned and his hands came away from his face, slamming down on the bed either side of him, pushing himself up into a seated position next to me. I'd been staring so I looked down at my hands, he didn't say anything so I glanced up at him to see him staring at me intensely, I guessed he'd been looking at me when I wasn't looking at him.

"I'm sorry Bella. I just... I have to do this" He leaned forward suddenly, grabbing the back of my head and pulling me towards him, my eyes widened in anticipation, I saw his eyes screw shut as our lips met, but neither of us moved our lips, they were just pressed against each other, his brow was furrowed, like he was waiting for me to fight him off, and after about 3 seconds of no resistance his lips began to move slowly but forcefully on top of mine. I sighed deeply into the kiss and joined him, our lips brushing against each others, while he held my head against his firmly. When he sensed we both needed to breathe he pulled away, releasing his grip on me. We rested our foreheads against each others and looked each other deep in the eyes.

"Sorry Bells... That was..."

"Please don't apologise for_ that_" I said, and he smiled weakly.

"I'll go slow now, I promise, no more attacks" He laughed quietly and I giggled. I leaned to the side to get a clear shot, and pecked him lightly on the lips, before pulling away completely, standing up and picking up one of my cases. Heaving it up onto the bed next to him and opening it up.

"I fucking hate unpacking" I groaned, staring into my case that Alice had immaculately packed for me.

"Do you want a hand?" Edward asked, peering into my case, "It would be a chance to see your... 'lovely new clothes'!"

I laughed and nodded, "That would be a great help actually. I think Alice had some kind of system..."

"Oh you mean you didn't pack these?" He teased, "I would never have guessed!"

Edward stood up and grabbed one of the other cases, putting down on the bed next to my one, he opened it gingerly.

"Anything you don't want me to see?" He winced and I frowned at him.

"What the hell do you think I've been doing in New York? Yes there's a huge picture of you and a dildo in there!" I laughed and he seemed to relax a bit, shrugging.

"You wouldn't want me to see that?" He joked, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Just open the case you perve!" I swatted his arm with a top I'd got from my case and he held his arm in mock pain.

Edward admired my clothes as he put them onto hangers and into my closet, he seemed to be enjoying himself. When he got to one of my "going out" dresses, as Alice had called it, he held it to him, as if he were sizing it up against himself.

"What do you think? Do I have the legs to pull this off?" He said it in all seriousness, not a hint of a smile. It was a green body con dress with layered fabric and thick straps, I hadn't worn it in New York, but it was definitely one of my favourites.

I stared at him incredulously and instinctively started to laugh, his serious face suddenly flashed with a grin, before turning serious again.

"Don't laugh at me Bella! It's a serious problem, I'm very insecure about my legs!"

I stopped laughing and took the dress from him, putting it up in the closet. I went back to him and put one hand on his shoulder.

"Stick to jeans babe, you look hot in them"

"Oh you're no fun Bella, you don't want to see me in your clothes? You've worn my clothes!"

"I wear your clothes in the morning's coz they're easy to put on!" I laughed, "And you like it"

"Yeah I do, you in my clothes is hot! But you wouldn't think I was hot in your clothes, no?"

"I don't think so champ..." I laughed again and he picked up some more stuff from another case and put it into the closet. "Now, there's only two more, which one do you want?"

"I'll take this one" He shrugged and bent down to pick up the larger of the two, I picked up the other one and opened it, shoes. I took them out pair by pair, laying them carefully at the bottom of my closet as Edward asked me how I managed to walk in them.

When he'd got to the bottom of his case he let out a confused noise, and I heard a rustling behind me so I turned around to see him holding out a bag.

"What this bag?"

"Oh shit, don't worry about that, just... give it to me!" I shrieked, bounding over to him and trying to take it from him, but he held me away with one arm, the one with the bag up in the air and away from me.

"Oh no Bella! You told me there was nothing you didn't want me to see!" He chuckled.

"Seriously Edward, don't look in that bag!"

"Why not? Give me one reason" I struggled against his arm but he held me firmly away.

"Urgh" I groaned, and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's the picture and the dildo isn't it?" He chuckled, "Seriously Bells, it can't be that bad"

"It's not _bad_!" I argued, deciding to stop struggling with him and just stood, his arm still out in front of him in case of any sudden attacks from me. "It's just... it's not... you'll... _like_ it", he raised his eyebrow at me again curiously.

"What you were talking about earlier?" I nodded, "Can I look?" He sounded hopeful, but I knew he wouldn't push it if I said no.

"Alice made me get them, just in case. The labels are still on... you can look... if you... want to?"

He slowly brought the bag down and pushed the opening apart ever so slightly, peering inside like he was scared. I sat down on the bed, with my head in my hands. He came and sat down next to me, handing me the bag, I cocked my head to the side.

"Not looking?"

"No" He shook his head, "When you want me to see, then I shall see. Can't say I'm not curious though!"

I peered into the bag and dove my hand in while he smirked at me, knowing I should try and keep a little mystique I decided to pull out a pair of black mesh boy shorts with pink ribbon detail, I hooked my finger onto either side and held them out to him playfully.

"So...?"

"Can I kiss you again?" He laughed as he leaned towards me, but I ducked under his advance and stood up throwing the underwear back into the bag.

"No, you should go back now I think" I said, smiling, but saw his face turn down.

"Oh... erm... yeah of course" He murmured and stood up, he put one hand in the crook of my elbow, pulling himself towards me slightly and kissing my forehead, turning away from me sluggishly.

"Edward, wait!" I said, half running to him as he stood by the open door, "I didn't mean I _wanted_ you to go, I just meant well... we're all going out tonight aren't we? You should let me get ready..."

With that his face lightened a little, and he chuckled, pulling me into a tight hug as I snuggled my head against his chest.

"Ok babe, I'll let you do whatever you need to do. We'll be round about 8 to come and get you ok?"

I nodded as we pulled away from each other, both smiling warmly. He stepped past the threshold of my room and was stood in the hallway while I leaned against the door frame.

"I have something to ask you later as well" he said, shoving his hands into his pockets, while I folded my arms across my chest and cocked my head to the side.

"Really?" he nodded, "What is it?"

"Oh no Bella, I said later, you're not getting round me that easily!" He laughed and turned walking down the hallway towards the stairs.

"I love you" I whispered after him, and he turned around instantly, grinning insanely.

"I love you too, see you later" He laughed and turned again, leaving the building.

***

EPOV

So, I'd done it, I'd kissed her, and she didn't hit me off. Good step I thought, and she seemed almost as reluctant as me to pull away from it. We started unpacking her cases which gave me the perfect opportunity to find out what "New Bella" would look like, and to be honest I liked what I saw! There were lots of really cute dresses, skirts, tops and pants. There was a few all in one type things which Bella informed me were jumpsuits, and 'very fashionable', I'd just nodded and put it in her closet with the other designer clothes that must have cost a fortune. When she opened her case with all of her shoes in my dick nearly exploded. There were some shoes in there which epitomised the phrase "fuck me boots", and I could just imagine her long legs in them, strutting with her new found confidence in heels. I tried to shake it off and concentrate on my last case, and when I got to the bottom I found a black and pink bag, which was weird, because nothing else was in its bag.

Bella and I had a little play fight about the bag, but when she gave up fighting, telling me to look in it if I wanted I changed my mind. I had a sneaking suspicion it was underwear, and if it was then I definitely wanted to see it when I could _really _appreciate it, which meant, on her, and near a bed.

When she told me that I should leave after I asked her if I could kiss her again, I really thought she might have changed her mind about starting over. I wasn't going to push her at all to make a decision about us, so I got up to leave hastily, but she followed me, giving me a quick explanation. I told her that I had something to say to her later this evening when we met up with the others, and although she tried to get it out of me, I was going to make her wait just a few hours.

***

When I got back to my building, I was determined not to interrupt Alice and Jasper again so I leaned my head against the door for a few seconds, my hand hovering by the keyhole with my keys. I didn't hear anything, so I put the key in and opened the door, nope. They weren't there, so I went in grabbed some clothes from my closet, I threw them over to my bed just as Emmett and Jasper walked in.

"Hey dude" Emmett said as he took his jacket off.

"Hi guys" I replied, walking over to a mirror to assess the damage to my nose. It was swollen and a little red, but nothing too noticeable, which was good, I'd been so worried I'd broken it and that I would end up with two black eyes.

"How'd things go?" Jazz asked sincerely as he sat down, flicking the T.V and PS3 on, grabbing a controller. I walked over and sat next to him, taking the second controller from him.

"What we playing?"

"Some new game Alice got for me for Christmas... I dunno!"

I chuckled, "Excellent. Well stuff went good today I think..."

"Progress?" Emmett mumbled angrily behind me. I turned around fully to look at him.

"I think so"

"Hmm... she's quick"

With that I threw the controller down onto the floor and squared up to Emmett who stood nearly a foot taller than me. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Nothing, you two are free to do whatever the fuck you want!" He shouted and shoved me back slightly, getting past me.

"Hey, don't you talk to me like that, do you have some kind of issue with this all? I've said I'm sorry, and we're working on it. I know it's not over, so what else do you want me to do?!"

He strode up to me again, his face inches from mine, "I want you not to have done it in the first place jackass"

"Well there's nothing I can do about that" I hissed through clenched teeth, "Why do you care so much anyway, you have Rosalie to distract you from thinking about _my_ relationships"

He stood up straight and swallowed hard, "Fuck off Edward", he murmured and turned away from me.

"Shit... you like Bella don't you?" I whispered, and both Emmett and Jaspers heads whipped round to look at me, Emmett's eyes wide with panic, "That's what this is all about, you're protecting her because you like her!"

"Edward..." Jasper tried to intervene.

"No Jazz wait, nobody's ever going to be good enough for her are they? Especially me... because I'm not _you_"

"Don't be ridiculous" Jasper said again as Emmett and I maintained eye contact. "Tell him it's ridiculous Emmett"

"Edward... I don't... She's... Rosal-"

"Yeah, Rose will _love_ this little development won't she?" I shook my head, laughing, although I was filled with anger at my brother, "Her boyfriend has the hots for her best friend"

"I don't Edward... She's like... I don't have the ho-" He shook his head, and tore his eyes away from mine, staring at the floor, "She's like my little sister"

"You into incest then are you?"

"Of course not! I care about her Edward, and you were a complete dickhead to her, I looked after her, I care about her a lot. I don't want you to hurt her, I've seen her hurt, it was horrible"

I stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, although it was probably only a minute, when there was a knock at the door. Jasper stood tentatively, and walked slowly to the door, when he opened it, Alice bounded in, followed by Rosalie. Emmett's eyes pleaded with me to not say anything to Rosalie and I nodded my head minutely with an expressionless face, hoping he would trust me.

"Hey baby" Rosalie cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss him quickly, his eyes were still panicked, and he stared at me once more after Rose let him go.

"How'd things go with Bella?" Rosalie said, crossing her arms across her chest, "She still coming out tonight, or did you ruin it?"

"God Rose, what do you think he would do to the girl?!" Emmett defended me, and I shook my head in confusion. Rosalie's head whipped round to look at him questioningly before snapping back round to me again, I nodded.

"Yes she's still coming. I said we'd go get her about 8ish"

"Good!" Alice chirped in jumping into me and gripping me in a tight hug, "I've missed going out with everyone"

"I'm sorry" I whispered into her hair and put her down on the ground, she smiled a bright smile at me and I smiled weakly back.

"We don't need apologies Edward... We need alcohol!" Alice bounced up and down excitedly, and Jasper came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle. "Right what time is it?" She said, pulling her phone out of her purse.

"Half past" Emmett said, his voice void of emotion. Rosalie tilted her head at him, obviously concerned, then looked at me suspiciously, so I just shrugged.

"Argh we have _aaaaages_!" Alice whined, throwing her head back onto Jasper's shoulder while he laughed.

"Right I just need to change. Give me a minute" I said, gathering my clothes from my bed and heading for the bathroom, just as I was about to shut the door I felt a pressure from the other side, stopping me from shutting it. And Emmett's head poked round.

"Can I talk to you?"

I nodded and opened the door to let him in. He shut it behind him and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry dude. I admit... I got a little... attached to Bella while you were, away. But I swear I don't like her like that Edward, over Christmas I thought I did but-"

"Excuse me what?" I said, my eyes widening in anger.

"Nothing happened I swear, I just... I was beginning to think that maybe there was something. But seeing you two together again, even when you were just standing in that alley. I knew it was just brotherly. I love her like a brother"

I braced myself against the sink with both hands behind me, breathing heavily. "I don't want to know anymore ok?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and then hissed loudly, forgetting my accident earlier, spinning round to check my nose in the mirror again. "Ugh... Just... Forget it ok?"

"You won't say anything to Rose?"

"There's nothing to tell is there?"

"No, of course not"

"Well then I'm not going to say anything" I tried to smile, but with the situation and the throbbing pain from my nose it came out as more of a grimace.

"I promise I'll back off about you and Bella. Just..."

"I'll look after her Em. I love her."

He nodded once before turning around and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. I changed quickly before stepping out into my room again to see a scattering of everyone sitting in various places. Alice closest to the door.

"Can we go get Bella now please?" She whined again, and I chuckled.

"Yup let's go" Emmett said, giving me a pat on the back before passing me and everyone started filing out of the door. I shut the door behind all of us, watching as everyone walked down the hallway. I half ran to catch up with Jasper who was walking alone at the back of the group. When he sensed my presence he looked up and smiled.

"You ok?"

"Think so." I shrugged in response, today had been a complete rollercoaster and to be honest I was feeling kind of awkward about tonight. I didn't know what to expect, or how I was supposed to behave with Bella. When we'd been on our own, or talking on the phone, we still teased each other constantly, like we were still a couple, but with a big group I wasn't sure if that would still be ok for her. I took a deep breath as I saw Alice practically sprint into Bella's building, I stopped outside and Jasper stopped with me.

"What's up?"

"I can't go up there. I'm gonna wait down here."

"Well I don't think it needs all of us to go and get her does it? I'll wait with you" He half laughed and I smiled appreciatively, as we both leaned against the brickwork. I shoved my hands in my pockets and started to whistle.

After five minutes of companionable silence the door burst open and Emmett came crashing out, laughing, pulling Rosalie by the hand, who gave me the stink eye as our eyes met. Next was Alice and then... Bella.

I let out a huge breath I didn't realise I'd been holding and her head turned in my direction. She was wearing the green dress I'd held up against myself earlier, it hung close to her body, showing every inch of her curves and sitting mid thigh. I stared at her face for a long time, she was smiling. She had dyed her hair back to its normal dark brown colour, and left it to curl naturally. She looked stunning.

"Hey Champ" She whispered as she walked up to me, linking her arm with mine and starting to walk. We were quite a bit behind everyone else who had started to walk without me realising. I beamed at her.

"Hey yourself" I chuckled. "You dyed it", my head motioning towards her hair.

"Erm, yeah." She looked at me sheepishly and I frowned in confusion, "I know you told me not to. But I knew what your decision would be so..."

"I love it, you look like you again" I chuckled, shaking my head. Then I realised she was a little taller, more level with my eyes, so I let my eyes wander down her body, down her lean, bare, long, sexy legs, to some pretty amazing looking shoes. I heard her giggling and I glanced up at her in amazement.

"How are you walking in _them_?" I asked incredulously, shaking my head in astonishment.

"Well I'm pretty sure you'll be carrying me home at the end of the night actually!" She laughed and I smirked at her, she stopped and turned her ankle, giving me a better view. They were like boots but not, they have a vintage lace and silk upper that went up just past her ankle, and the most ridiculous heel I had ever seen in my life, I bow down to women. "They're Vivienne Westwood, you like?"

"I do indeed. I tell you what... if you manage to get through tonight without breaking your ankle, I'll even _love_ them!" I laughed, grabbing her hand and starting to walk again. We were now seriously lagging behind, but I was with my Bella, and I couldn't be happier.

"So..." Bella started as we were nearly at the bar. I guessed the other guys had already gone in, I started to pull out my fake I.D, and Bella let go of my hand to do the same, and once she had it, put her hand back in mine. "What was it you wanted to ask me?" She looked up at me through her eyelashes and I bit back a groan, and instead chuckles a little.

"So impatient!" I mock scolded, "I'll ask you later!"

"It had better be worth the build up Cullen!" She laughed. We showed the doorman our I.D's and they let us through. I let Bella walk in front of me slightly, still holding her hand as she led us to the table where everyone was sitting waiting for us.

"Did you get lost?!" Emmett joked as we sat down, I rolled my eyes.

"We got you some drinks in" Jasper said and motioned towards two untouched drinks on the table, I nodded appreciatively and tilted the neck of my bottle of beer to him before I took a swig.

***

After a few more rounds, the others all got up to dance, I turned my head to Bella who looked like the drinks had gotten to her already.

"You wanna dance?"

"Um... I don't think I should risk it in these shoes!" She laughed and I smiled at her as she grabbed my hand, bringing it to her chest. I breathed deeply. "Shall we get another drink?"

"You sure?" I winced, not wanting her to get completely smashed tonight. "You've not had enough?"

"I'm a big girl Edward remember?" She said seductively, leaning into me, and biting her lip. I breathed deeply again, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

"Ok yeah... erm... drinks" I caught the attention of a waitress easily and she brought us 2 more drinks each to save us going to the bar again.

Bella took her drink and giggled, taking the straw into her mouth and looking up at me as I gulped down some more beer.

"You're going to have to stop doing that you know" I warned, putting my beer back on the table but picking at the label absent mindedly.

"What?" She said innocently, looking up at me again.

"You're making it awfully hard for me to take this slow you know?"

"Just how hard am I making it?" She whispered, and I could just barely hear her over the music. She leaned over to me more and ran her hand up my leg, but I caught her hand quickly before she cupped me.

"Bella..." I cocked my eyebrow at her and she giggled again, resting her head on my chest. "You're really drunk you know that?" I laughed slightly at our situation, in the past there was no chance I would have stopped her, but now I seemed to be protecting her virtue, even though I knew there was absolutely no virtue to protect.

She pulled her head up and looked me in the eyes, smiling before inching her face closer to mine slowly, my eyes darted quickly from her eyes to her mouth and back again. I caught her wrist again as she tried to pull my head towards her. My other hand rested on her shoulder, attempting to push her away lightly. I shook my head and laughed at her frustrated pout that followed.

"You're no fun"

"You would never forgive me if I took advantage" I laughed as she flailed her arms around.

"I want you to take advantage Edward... it's been..." She rolled her eyes before leaning into my ear and whispering, "It's been months... I kinda _need_ you"

"No you don't" I chuckled again, "You can wait a little longer until you're not drunk and I'm not having to prise you off me, as difficult as that is." She looked at me with an annoyed and frustrated look on her face, I leaned into her ear and whispered to her, "You have no idea how much I want you. I'd have you right here if I could. Right in front of all these people" I heard her whimper softly in my ear and I smiled, "I'd make you scream my name, and all these people would know you're mine. You wouldn't be able to think straight once I'm finished with you"

"Please" She whispered, and her voice begging me made my dick twitch.

"No Bella. We have to spend some quality time together..." I laughed slightly and her eyes widened in annoyance so one of my hands lifted and ghosted her cheek, "We need to let it build up inside us until we... explode" I whispered, I knew I was winding her up, but I couldn't help it. She was drunk and wouldn't remember this is in the morning anyway. She shut her eyes and whimpered again.

"I think I'm about to explode now" She whispered back to me, her head hung back ever so slightly and her eyes screwed shut. I leaned towards her and caught her lips in mine quickly, pulling away before it could deepen. Her eyes shot open.

"Hey Guys!" Alice said as she and the others walked back over to us. "We're gonna make a move back, you coming?"

"Um... yeah, we're pretty much done here" I smirked at Bella who looked angry at me. I held my hand out to her as I stood up and helped her out of the booth.

We left the club and started on the walk home. Rosalie and Alice decided to walk with me for some reason, and Bella was with Emmett and Jasper ahead of us.

"What's the problem?" I said, rolling my eyes at their obvious attempt to ask me something.

"Stay with Bella tonight" Rosalie looked at me pleadingly.

"What?" I said, panicked, "I can't do that we're not sle-"

"No Edward, not like that. Angela isn't back yet is she? Just, stay with her, in her room." She winked at me slightly and I frowned.

"Why?"

"Oh my God" Rosalie exclaimed and threw her arms in the air.

"Oh... you need both rooms don't you?" I said slyly, smirking.

"Now you get it!" Alice said. "You can make yourself scarce for one night can't you Edward?" She fluttered her eyelashes at me and held onto my arm, I shook her off and rolled my eyes at her.

"I'll have to ask Bel-"

"We've already asked her, she said yes... she was very... enthusiastic" Rosalie said suspiciously, and I smirked again.

"Excellent. Well, we'll see you tomorrow then!" Alice said, bouncing up and kissing my cheek before skipping off to Jasper taking his hand. I laughed slightly, shaking my head, and that's when I saw Bella's ankle roll, and heard her swear loudly.

I ran forward to get her, but by the time I got there she was already on the floor holding her ankle. I knelt down beside her and took her ankle in my hands, looking up at her.

"What did I say huh?" I smirked and she shook her head at me, laughing through her obvious pain.

"It's not broken Edward, just twisted" She held her arms out to me in a gesture to help her up, so I took her hands while standing up myself, pulling her up, but I heard her yelp in pain again, so I picked her up bridal style. "Edward! Put me down!"

"You can't walk Bella! _And _I kinda did agree to carry you home anyway!" I laughed as she protested.

When we got back to my building, Alice and Jasper left us, and Emmett and Rosalie went the other direction to the girls building, so I carried Bella the short distance to hers, she helped me push the door open, laughing at the time it took me to walk up the stairs.

When we got to her door she fiddled around in her purse until she found her keys, she opened the door and pushed it, letting me carry her inside. Angela still hadn't come back so I guessed it was ok for me to stay, not that I had a choice now anyway with my room being otherwise occupied.

"Put me down Edward" Bella whispered to me, so I walked over to her bed and lay her on it gently, nearly collapsing on top of her. She wasn't heavy at all, but holding her for a long period of time had taken it out of me somewhat. "I hear your staying?"

I ran my hand through my hair and then scratched at the stubble on my face, "If you don't mind, I mean... I'll sleep on the floor or whatever"

"There's a spare bed over there remember? Three person room, only two occupants! Although... I wouldn't mind you sleeping here with me... But I know you wouldn't be able to d-"

"Are you serious?" I asked, my eyes widening and my heart pounding at the thought of being that close to Bella again.

"Well, yeah, it's not like you're going to do anything is it? You've been like a monk all evening!"

"Bella you said th-"

"Oh shh! I know why, and I appreciate it. But you can stay here with me tonight, I'd like you to"

I went and sat on the edge of her bed, she smiled at me and ran her hand along my jaw line before tracing her fingers very lightly over my nose, I tensed in anticipation of pain.

"How is it?"

"Better, thank you"

"So Edward... I've been waiting all evening. When are you going to ask me this question?"

I laughed and took her hand that was cupping my face in both of mine, looking into her eyes.

"Well it seems a bit stupid now, we're moving a bit faster than I anticipated, it's going to be all the wrong way round"

"Just ask me Edward" She sounded exasperated, I scratched my head and looked at her again.

"Would you... Bella, would you like to go on a date with me? On Friday night? I thought I could take you for dinner and a movie... if you'd like?"

Bella laughed at me, and my eyes widened in shock, that was not the most normal reaction to have.

"You know the first time you asked me out you didn't actually ask. You just told me to go out with you. This is definitely progress!"

"So you want to?" I said, still confused.

"Of course I do, silly!" She ran her hand through my hair one more time, "Let's go to bed, I'm going to have a God awful hangover in the morning!"

***

The next morning I was woken by the light streaming through the windows into my eyes, I groaned and stretched, but then I remembered I wasn't alone, and it wasn't a dream. I looked down in front of me and saw Bella sleeping soundly. All I wanted to do was scoop her up in my arms and kiss her, but she wouldn't be as willing as she was last night. When I'd gotten into the bed with her, she'd turned to face me and literally grabbed me through my pants, which I'd kept on to be polite and gentlemanly. Of course under her touch my body had it's own reactions, so when I told her to stop she protested, saying she was pretty certain I wanted it. And God yes I wanted it, she would have no idea how difficult it was for me to prise her off me. I physically turned her around again and held her close to me so there was no room for her to move, and we stayed like that for the rest of the night.

I took in a deep breath before unwinding my arm from her and turning to get out of bed, with my movements she stirred, and turned to face me. She covered her face with her hand.

"Oh shit..."

"No Bella" I said, shaking my head quickly in panic, thinking she thought I'd done something, "Nothing happened"

"Are you joking? I threw myself at you... how embarrassing! You had to literally pull me off you! I'm so sorry!" She still had her hand in front of her eyes, not daring to look at me, I chuckled softly, and her hand came away from her eyes immediately.

"Bella... I'm not going to say it wasn't... difficult... But, well, you don't have to apologise, ok?"

"No it's not ok Edward! I said I wanted to take things slowly, and then the first time we're alone with no way of anyone interrupting I try to jump you!"

From my position still sitting on the side of the bed I turned a little more and leant down to her slowly, her eyes darted down to my lips as I leaned in even further, kissing her chastely before sitting up again.

"Stop worrying. I dealt with it"

"But you shouldn't have had to!"

"God Bella! What do I have to do to get you to shut up?!" I laughed as her eyes widened.

"Well... you could... kiss me like you did yesterday, when you got all angry with me?" I smirked a little.

"I wasn't angry with you Bella"

"Well will you do it anyway?" She pleaded, getting up onto her knees, tangling herself in the sheets before crawling towards me. I turned myself completely towards her, my arms hands resting on the bed, either side of her.

"No... I shouldn't kiss you before our date, I'm going to do this properly now. I won't stay here again either... until we... _you're_ ready" I stood up and watched her fall unflatteringly onto the bed.

"Ugh... you're so... _nice_! What's the matter with you?" She groaned as I laughed.

"Is it such a crime to be nice Bella?"

She moaned loudly again, covering her head with a pillow, which I quickly took from her throwing it back to its position at the head of the bed.

"Right before I go, I need to know if you can walk, show me your ankle"

"No" She grumbled like a child.

"Bella..."

"Go away... you're mean!"

"Now you know that's not true Bella!" I laughed, "Now show me your ankle"

She huffed before untangling herself from the sheets and slumping onto the bed again, her foot in the air gingerly.

"Wow, it's pretty bruised" I said, holding her ankle gently in my hands, "Can you walk?" I turned my head to her and raised an eyebrow at her, she still looked angry at me. I let go of her ankle and she shifted to the side of the bed, pushing up roughly and then yelping in pain falling back down to the bed.

"I'm thinking no" She murmured.

"You must have sprained it pretty bad"

She nodded but didn't look at me, so I went and sat down on the bed next to her, taking her chin in my hand and pulling her head to face me, her eyes were glued to the floor.

"Bella" I whispered, and she glanced up at me quickly, "What's wrong?"

"I'm embarrassed" She whispered back to me, trying to turn her head away from me again, I chuckled softly, "Don't laugh at me Edward!"

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry, but really, don't be embarrassed. I mean it, I love you remember, I'm just going to do things properly this time, and that means _everything_ so just let me try ok?" I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and she closed her eyes at the touch, she nodded and I kissed her on the nose quickly. I stood up and grabbed my things, "You better rest up that ankle love, I'm not carrying you on Friday!"


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N - So guys, it's been great, but this is where it all ends, this is the final chapter! Thank you to everybody who took the time to review, and to everyone who added this as a favourite, it means a lot that you guys all enjoyed it. **

**So without anymore from me... here's chapter 22.**

BPOV

The next couple of days were unbearable, as much as I knew I wanted to wait for things to progress with Edward, my body had different ideas, so I tried to keep a safe distance at all times. That first night back at college was so embarrassing, I wish I'd been drunk enough to block it out, but my mind wasn't that kind to me, I remembered every second of it, of how he was pushing me away constantly, telling me it was all for me. I remembered him whispering those words to me in the bar that he wanted to take me in front of everyone, every time I thought about it I got a hot flush and I ached for him.

Teaching wasn't due to start until Monday, so I'd spent a lot of time with my friends, there seemed to be some kind of tension between Edward and Emmett, but I guessed it was just Emmett looking out for me, so I chose to ignore it. Angela hadn't come back yet so I still had the room to myself, Edward was true to his word and didn't stay with me again, he would come to my room to walk me back though, and if he kissed me goodnight it would always be on the forehead, I decided after Wednesday night to stop asking for more, he was unwilling to budge on it.

Being with the group again was so good, the dynamics were a little different now though, with Edward and I glancing at each other often, he would occasionally brush against me, or hold my hand while we were walking, and I would look forward to those moments, or when he smiled at me, just a genuine smile, it would knock me for six every time. With me now actually being vaguely interested in shopping, Alice took advantage and we'd been on a huge shopping trip for my date with Edward, I'd protested saying he'd hardly seen any of my new clothes, but she wouldn't have it.

I ended up buying a cute dark blue playsuit with small white flowers over it, I decided that after my little fall the other night that I would wear it with some cute white pumps that I found in another shop.

On Friday night I was putting the finishing touches to my make up when there was a knock at the door, I grinned into the mirror instantly and almost skipped to the door, I swung it open to see a beautiful looking Edward holding a small bunch of freesias.

"Edward!" I exclaimed staring at the flowers as he held them out to me, "Flowers! Aren't you a gentleman?" I laughed as I took them, turning before inhaling their beautiful scent, "I'll put them in water, hang on"

I found the biggest glass I had and filled it with water, putting the flowers into it. "So... Hey" I said as I turned to face him again, he grinned at me as I walked up to him wrapping my arms around his neck, his arms wound around my waist as he lifted me slightly, kissing my forehead.

"Hey" He murmured, moving to kiss my hair. I sighed deeply, knowing I would have to wait until later to get a proper kiss. He put me back down on the floor and I looked up at him inquisitively.

"Where are we going then?"

"Well, love, that all depends, do you want to eat now, or later?"

"I think movie first, then we can critique it over dinner" I said enthusiastically pulling him towards the door, he chuckled.

"Oh you sound just like someone I could fall in love with!" He joked, I turned to face him in the hallway and smiled.

"Well that's a good start!" He laughed and we headed down the stairs.

On the walk to the cinema, Edward, swooped down a little and grabbed my hand in his, I looked up at him and he smiled at me. "You look hot", he eyes me appreciatively, "But I bet that's gonna be a pain to take off" His head gestured towards my playsuit and I feigned insult.

"Are you trying to say you'll be undressing me later Edward?!"

Edward's eyes bulged a little but he smirked, "Only if you're too drunk to undress yourself!" I scoffed in mock insult again, before I saw his eyes wander down my legs and spotting my shoes. "Playing it safe tonight hmm?" he chuckled and I hit him playfully on the arm.

"It's only just getting better, I didn't want to ruin it by doing it again"

***

After the film we walked across the road to a small restaurant, we both looked at the menu after ordering our drinks. We didn't talk properly, just discussing things on the menu. I glanced up at him every now and again, and sometimes would catch his eye, when that happened we would smile at each other, to begin with they were harmless smiles, but as they became more frequent, they became sly, knowing smiles that made me blush. In the end I hid my face with the menu when the waitress came over to take our orders. After I ordered, I noticed that waitress had little to no interest in what I was saying, she was staring at Edward the entire time.

"Excuse me?" I said politely, and she turned her head reluctantly away from Edward to look at me, pen poised above the pad she was holding. "I'm sorry, I did already order, but you weren't listening" I smiled politely again, glancing at Edward who was laughing to himself.

"Um... right yeah. What was it you wanted?"

"Cannelloni, please" I passed her my menu, and as her hand took it, I held onto it for a little longer than necessary, causing her to look at me, "And for you to stop staring at my boyfriend". She nodded quickly and almost ran to go and process our order, I frowned in her general direction, shaking my head before looking at Edward who was smirking at me. "Don't you start!" I said, pointing at him, "You could do something to help you know!"

"Like what?" He said incredulously, "I didn't even realise!"

"Exactly, well maybe if you weren't so ridiculously hot then this wouldn't happen! Could you not... I don't know, _uglify _yourself before you go out with me?"

"Uglify myself?" He laughed again.

"Yeah, you know, so I don't have all this competition!" I was getting flustered, and I could feel my face heating up. Edward scooted round the booth to sit right next to me and ran the back of his fingers down my cheek, I looked up at him.

"There is no competition Bella, you are all I see"

"Oh my God!" I laughed, pushing him away, "You're so cheesy tonight!"

He scooted back round to his previous position and ran a hand through his hair, laughing, "You know you love it really, it gets you hot... just admit it!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed again.

Our food was brought over by a different waitress, and I scanned the room to look for the original one, she was standing by the pass still staring at Edward, but obviously wary of me, she caught my eye and I waved with a grin before she shook her head, blushed and ran out into the kitchen. I smiled to myself proudly before looking up at Edward.

"What are you doing?" He frowned at me in confusion.

"Nothing" I answered innocently and started to eat.

We discussed the movie while we were eating, Edward having enjoyed it much more than I did, admitting he'd only picked a horror film hoping that I would need to hold his hand, which I did.

After our meal, Edward picked up the bill much to my annoyance, and he came round to my side of the booth, holding his hand out to help me up, I took it and stood up without falling, for once. He held the door open for me and I left, but not without turning and shooting one more glare at the waitress who was _still_ watching us.

Once we were out of the restaurant and on our walk home, Edward took my hand in his again and I turned my head to look at him, "Haven't you been just the perfect gentleman tonight hey Edward?" I smiled and he cocked his eyebrow at me, smiling back.

"I'm trying my best here Bella"

I stopped walking and pulled his hand, making him turn and face me. I stepped forward and let go of his hand, getting up on my tip toes, wrapping my arms around his neck, his hands rested on my hips and he grinned at me.

"You don't have to try with me, I'm gonna love you either way"

"That's my point Bella, you're so... forgiving. I'm trying to be someone who deserves you, who won't hurt you again. I want people to know that I love you, and that I'm not interested in anyone else"

I thought back to the tension that seemed to appear with Emmett and Edward recently, I wondered if it had anything to do with it.

"By people, do you mean Emmett?" Edward winced slightly and pulled me tighter against him, I melted into him and breathed in his scent, he breathed deeply before speaking.

"Emmett cares a lot about you Bella, he's a good person to have looking out for you"

"I know" I whispered, pulling away from him reluctantly and starting our walk back again. I shivered as a cold breeze blew past us and Edward turned to laugh at me.

"Didn't think to bring a coat out in the middle of January?"

"Well that would totally ruin the aesthetics wouldn't it?!" I joked, he shook his head at me with a smile, "And from what I remember, if you're on a date, the guy usually offers you his coat if it's cold!"

Edward's eyes widened, but he made no effort to remove his coat, "You're joking? It's fucking freezing out here, I'll get flu!" He laughed and carried on walking.

"So much for being a gentleman" I mumbled, and he squeezed my hand tighter, chuckling to himself.

"Well next time you'll think before going out in next to nothing!"

"Excuse me?! This was for _your _benefit!"

We were just at my building so he pulled me a bit faster until we were just inside the door, he pushed me against the wall, his hands either side of my shoulders, resting on the wall, and his body flush with mine. I felt him breathing heavily against me as his nose ghosted my jawbone.

"Believe me, I appreciate your... efforts" He whispered as he took my earlobe in his teeth, pulling on it lightly, I felt my breathing pick up, he released my earlobe and continued down, I lifted my head up and to the side when he ducked his head under my chin to kiss the hollow of my jaw, it sent tingles through my entire body and I groaned quietly.

"Please come upstairs with me Edward" I whispered, my voice husky and clouded with lust. I was pretty certain he would say no, so when I felt him nod against me, that beautifully messy hair rubbing against the side of my neck, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. He seemed unwilling to move, so I pushed against him, taking his hand and starting towards the stairs.

When we got to my door, I was literally shaking with excitement, I couldn't get the key in the door, so Edward took it from me, opening the door with ease. He pushed the door open and gestured for me to go inside, he followed me and shut the door, as soon as he did this I attacked him, I flew at him with such a force that he stumbled back into the door, unresponsive to my feverish kiss. Once he knew he wouldn't fall he gripped my hips tightly and kissed me back with as much enthusiasm as I was kissing him. I groaned into the kiss and he growled back, turning us roughly so I was against the door. I opened my mouth and invited his tongue inside, when it did, I groaned again, our tongues content to push against each other. His hands ran up and down my sides, settling on my ass and kneading the flesh tightly.

When we were both desperate for air he pulled away from me completely, a thumb going up to his perfect mouth, wiping across it, making himself respectable before looking at me sheepishly.

"Sorry about that, I couldn't help it", I looked at him in shock, why on earth would someone be sorry about that? He shoved his hands in his pockets, not moving from the centre of the room, just looking at me curiously. I could see that his eyes were dark with lust, he didn't want this to stop anymore than I did.

"Edward... Are you going to stay tonight?"

"Um... We're supposed to be taking things slowly... I want to but y-" He ran a hand through his hair that rested on the back of his neck. I took a step towards him and his eyebrows lifted.

"Look... I know I said I wanted to wait, but I already know I love you so what's the point? That's not going to change. I understand what you did, you know it was stupid, I know it was stupid, so can we not just forget it? I _miss_ you" I stepped even closer to him and saw him breathing deeply.

"I miss you too" He whispered, stepping forward quickly and enveloping me in his arms, kissing me deeply again. My hands darted up to his face holding him close to me and intensifying the kiss further, he made a grunting sound as one of his hands slid between us and undid the button on his jeans, then moving in between my legs and rubbing firmly, making me whimper into the kiss as my legs began to give way. Then he pulled away from the kiss, holding my shoulders at arm's length, he sighed at me and I looked at him in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"You're gonna have to help me with this Bella" He pointed to my playsuit and I laughed a little. I nodded and stepped out of his grasp. I undid the buttons quickly and attempted to pull it off quickly, one thing about playsuits... they don't come off quickly. I ended up contorting myself into an awkward position and nearly losing my balance. When I finally got it off I let it fall to floor, I was now flushed and hot, I blew some hair out of my face and stood in my underwear, I had chosen earlier to wear the set that Edward had seen a glimpse of earlier in the week. The bra was a padded black lace with pink ribbon detail with matching boy shorts. I looked up at Edward who had an amused face.

"Now please tell me how I was _ever_ going to do that?" He laughed quietly, stepping towards me and pulling his t-shirt over his head at the same time, grinning at me.

"I didn't think that far" I whispered, embarrassed as his hands rested on the curve of my hips. They smoothed up my sides until he cupped my breasts through my bra, I felt my nipples harden at his touch.

"I know I said I wasn't a boob man but..." He chuckled again and I looked down at his hands that were running up my shoulders and pulling my bra straps down, "I was kinda lying", I looked up at him again as he skilfully unclasped my bra, letting it fall from me, he grinned at me again and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"So it _was_ your magazine?"

"God no, it's Em's... I just... appreciate it" He smiled and lent down to kiss me softly, I shut my eyes on contact and he began to kiss my cheeks, down my neck, across my collar bone and down to my breasts, my breaths were coming out as pants in anticipation as he licked and nipped at the skin around my nipple, slowly pinching and flicking the other one expertly. "I appreciate these a lot more though" He whispered huskily as he took the nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over it before sucking hard. He moved onto the other one after a while and I thought I was going to explode, I grabbed his head and brought him up to me, kissing him hard and fiercely. I pushed him back towards the bed, my hands fumbling with his jeans, forgetting he'd already undone the buttons on his button fly, I easily pushed them down, making him trip on them, falling back onto the bed with me landing on top of him. We both pulled away from the kiss and stared at each other before laughing. I lifted myself slightly so he could kick his jeans off completely and he was left in his boxers. I stared at him for while, a small smile playing on my lips when he looked tentatively at me.

"Remember what I said about this time? It's not going to be my best work"

"Edward, I just need to feel you"

"I'm just warning you... apologising in advance" An embarrassed smile graced his beautiful face as I ran my fingernails down his chest, his gaze following my path. Just as I was at his waistband he grabbed my wrists, turning us both so that we were both lying next to each other, him hovering slightly above me. His flat palm ran down my stomach, finding my panties before hooking his fingers into them, pulling them down and off me. I whimpered as the cool air caught my bare skin, Edward threw my panties across the room and I watched as they landed on my laptop.

Then I felt a sudden pressure on my clit as Edward pressed his thumb onto it firmly, I moaned and whimpered his name.

"Edward don't" I managed to breathe out, he stopped immediately and looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Bella, I'm sor-"

"No, Edward, I meant I don't want you to do it, I don't want to come like this. I need you"

"But it probably won't b-"

"Edward, please just fuck me? Please?" I was literally begging, my breathing erratic and my eyes heavily lidded with lust, with need for this man.

"Oh God" He half whispered as he took his boxers off and quickly rolled a condom onto himself, I stole a quick glance down at him, having not seen him for a while I was pleasantly reunited with the size of him. He manoeuvred himself over the top of me, hovering by my entrance, he looked down at me, "I'm sorry" He whispered, kissing me hard before plunging into me. We both groaned and cursed with the first thrust, it felt so good to have him in me again, I let my hands rediscover the contours of his back as he ploughed into me deeply, grunting with every thrust. I attempted to turn us so that I could be on top but he held me down on the bed, shaking his head, "No Bella, you have... to let me... so I can... Ah fuck" His eyes were screwed shut, concentrating hard at controlling himself. My head threw back into the pillow, I was burning with need and I could feel I was close.

"Please Bella, you have to... please" He sounded so desperate, and I knew I was still a few thrusts away. I moved a hand down to my clit and began working it firmly, moaning his name at the sensations it gave me.

"Please come for me Bella" His voice was gruff and hoarse and his thrusts were becoming more frequent and erratic. I moaned in frustration at myself, squeezing my clit hard before coming hard around him, he immediately let go, thrusting hard into both of our orgasms before collapsing to the side of me, his hand slipping around my waist and pulling me hard against him. He kissed my temple and I turned to smile at him, he was covered in sweat, his damp hair hanging in his eyes. I moved it out of his eyes as he attempted to pull me closer to him.

"I'm so-"

"Fuck Cullen, stop saying sorry!" I rolled my eyes and he let go of me immediately, I took my chance and sat up to climb over him and straddle him. "I've had enough sorry's" I whispered, leaning down to kiss him softly, I nipped at his bottom lip and heard him chuckle.

"I love you Bella" I smiled into the kiss and he stroked my hair as we made out like teenagers before we both grew tired and fell asleep.

***

EPOV

Oh God, this feels sooo good. I knew I was just coming round to waking up, but I was having the most vivid sex dream ever, I could practically fell Bella's lips working round my hardened length. I was desperate not to wake up, and I could feel consciousness creeping up on me quickly. I opened my eyes reluctantly, still revelling in the aftermath of the dream, I turned my head to see Bella, but she wasn't there. My morning wood started to throb, and I suddenly noticed it was warm and wet, as I looked around I noticed it was still dark as well. I looked down at my cock and saw a head bobbing up and down on my dick, she was covered in the comforter so I couldn't see her, and I suddenly groaned loudly.

"Fuuuuck, Bella, what are you doing?" I tore the comforter off her and threw it to the ground beside the bed. She took me out of her mouth and looked up at me smiling.

"Round 2, Champ?" She smiled wickedly at me, before going back down, taking me in her mouth.

Oh God. Life with her was going to be incredible.

**A/N - There you go. The End. **

**If you're desperate for an epilogue I could be persuaded to do it. I wrote this story aaaages ago, and I kinda miss the characters! I'm still working on my next story, so keep an eye out for "Damage Control", hopefully I can get it up soon.**

**I need some ideas for other stories as well, so if anyone has a request or an amazing idea then let me know and I could do a few dedicated one shots, or even a whole story!**

**Thanks to everyone! xSx**


	23. EPILOGUE

BPOV

"Come on baby we need to get going..." I heard him call through the apartment. I fluffed my hair quickly and smoothed my dress down my body before walking confidently out into the living room. He was standing at the door, his jacket draped over his arm and his keys in his hand. "Well hello there Miss, have we met? My name is Edward Cullen."

"How lovely to meet you," I rolled my eyes at his comment and saw the smirk that appeared on his face.

"You look stunning, baby," he smiled as he walked towards me and his hands rested on my hips, lightly pulling me towards him. "I don't want to share you with everyone tonight, can't we just stay here, I can think of other activities to occupy our evening."

I sighed as he ran his hands down my dress, skimming the sides of my breasts and running over my waist and hips. His head descended towards mine and he snuck it nicely into the crook of my neck. I heard him breathe deeply before placing a small, soft kiss to my neck. I giggled in response and my hands found his shoulders pushing him away from me.

"Did you just laugh at me kissing you?"

"No," I answered, getting up on my tip toes to place a chaste kiss to his full lips, "Come on Casanova. We've got a party to attend."

"But I'd rather not go," he smirked again and I hit his chest playfully.

"We have to, you clown! We have speeches to make! Come. On!" I laughed and pulled him by his tie outside and managed to persuade him to open the car and drive to the hotel.

I glanced over at Edward while he was concentrating on driving, gone were his erratic gear changes and dangerous swerving, we were both older now, and it showed well on Edward. He'd got a job as a music journalist almost immediately after leaving college, and now, just 5 years later we was editor in chief of one of the biggest music magazines in America. He turned his head slightly and rubbed his  
distinguished stubble with a grin.

"Staring at something in particular, love?"

"Nothing much," I shrugged. He smirked before turning his attention back to the road.

After leaving college, I'd done some interning at different PR companies, but found my calling in Music PR, I looked after a few bands and solo artists, looking after their reputations and dealing  
with their media relations. My job was made easier by my relationship with Edward, although I would never beg for him to help me with my job, we both managed to make it on our own.

We pulled up outside the hotel and both climbed out of the car. Edward handed the keys to the valet. After selling his Volvo in New York, he'd been car-less for the rest of college, determined that he didn't really need one, but after we had left, he bought himself a Mercedes, and he was in love with it more than he'd ever been with the Volvo.

His hand on the small of my back brought me out of my musings and I looked up at him as he ushered us past the doorman. He brought his head down to my ear and whispered.

"It's not too late to go back home and have some fun," He grinned like a child and I shook my head at him, and incredulous look in my eyes.

"Edward, you really should have learnt to control yourself by now!"

He pulled me closer to his side and kissed my temple, "I would have if you didn't keep getting more beautiful every day!" He whispered against my hair and I laughed, pulling away from him completely.

"You're so full of shit!" I laughed quietly, a laugh which he returned before grabbing my hand and pulling me through into the function room.

"Edward! Bella!" I heard as soon as we stepped into the room. I looked up and saw Alice bounding towards us, arms outstretched.

"Hey!" I offered excitedly as she hugged me hard and then turned to watch her hug Edward. I looked away from them quickly and scanned the room, noticing Jasper following behind Alice at a slower, more human pace.

"Jazz!" I greeted him as he got closer and hugged him, kissing him quickly on the cheek, "How're you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Not bad I guess, I could just think of much better things to be doing right now!"

"Exactly! I said that to Bella but she was too stubborn to listen to me!" Edward agreed, laughing before draping his arm over my shoulders which I quickly shrugged away from, standing next to Alice and staring at the two men.

"Jasper, Edward. Emmett is your best friend!" Alice insisted, coming close to stamping her foot like a child.

"I bet if you asked Emmett, he would rather be at home fuc-"

"Edward!" I interrupted him with a strict, scolding voice. I saw his eyebrows raise at me as he shoved his hands into his pant pockets. He took a step towards me, his hand taking my elbow softly and turning me away from Alice and Jasper who were still squabbling.

"What?" I hissed.

"Keep that for the bedroom, love," He whispered, his fingers making patterns on my arms.

"What are you talking about?"

"That... tha- Oh God I felt like a naughty school boy getting told off by his hot as fuck teacher!" He groaned quite loudly.

"Edward!" I swatted his chest swiftly, "Shut up!" I hissed again.

"Oh, keep going, baby!" He chuckled quietly.

"I mean it, Edward, if you keep showing us up I'll... I won't sleep with you for a week!" I whispered curtly.

"Oh, Bella, baby, I have no intention of _sleeping_."

"Right, that's it. Nothing for you. For. A. Week." I prodded his chest with each of the last three words before turning and walking away, taking Alice with me.

"Everything ok?" Alice asked as we walked to the other side of the room.

"Yeah, he's just driving me mad!" I laughed and chanced a look over my shoulder, seeing Edward talking to Jasper, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, a frown on his face and looking down at the floor.

"He looks a bit annoyed," Alice commented just before I turned away from looking at Edward.

"Yeah, well, he should stop being an idiot. It's been getting worse lately."

"What's been getting worse?" A voice from behind us spoke, and we both turned around suddenly to be met with both Emmett and Rose beaming down at us.

"Hey!" Alice and I said in unison. I hugged Rosalie and kissed her on the cheek while Alice greeted Emmett and then we swapped, Emmett took me in his arms and lifted me high in the air while I squealed.

"How you doing, Jessabelle?"

"Put me down!"

He put me down and I took a step back from him. A look of concern marred his features while he looked at me, and I was about to ask him if he was okay, but Rosalie grabbed my arm and pulled me away.

"What's going on Bella?"

"Huh?" I answered, shaking my head.

"I think she means with Edward, Bella," Alice chimed in.

"There's nothing going on with Edward," I frowned, "Everything is fine."

"Then what were you saying earlier? And why does he look like someone's killed his puppy?" Rosalie asked, cocking her eyebrow at me.

"Oh it's nothing, really. Why are we talking about Edward and I? This is your engagement party!"

"Yes, but this is interesting!" Rosalie folded her arms across her chest.

"Baby, leave her alone." Emmett came over and put his hand on her shoulder, kissing her cheek.

***

We were all sitting around the table eating dinner with all of the other guests. Edward and I hadn't really spoken since I laid down the law earlier, and so there was an awkward tension between us as we sat next to each other.

"Are you still angry with me?" I heard him mumble while staring at his plate, not lifting his eyes to look at me. I sighed deeply.

"No."

"So, I'm forgiven then?" He lifted his head this time and his eyes held a cheeky glint.

"The punishment still applies, Cullen," I whispered, and heard him groan.

***

When we got back to our apartment late that evening, I was a little worse for wear, as Rose and Alice had persuaded me to drink half my body weight in tequila, whereas Edward was stone cold sober, but that's what you get if you refuse to let your girlfriend anywhere near the driver's side of your car.

Edward opened the door to the apartment and pushed on the small of my back lightly to move me inside. I walked in, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I started to walk towards the bedroom, but in my state, I lost my footing and tripped over my own feet landing on the floor with a thud.

Edward was next to me almost immediately and I heard him chuckle softly before picking me up, walking me through to the bedroom and laying me on the bed.

"I think you need to sleep this off, Bella." He said softly, stroking my hair off my face and placing it behind my ear.

"Don't want to," I grumbled, like a petulant child.

"What do you want to do then, baby?"

"I want to..."

EPOV

She didn't finish her sentence, but just let her head fall to the side, and fell fast asleep. I laughed at her behaviour before quickly changing, grabbing a glass of water to put next to her for when she woke up, and getting into bed beside her.

As if she could sense me in her sleep, she rolled heavily towards me and draped her arm across my torso. I let out a large puff of air as the sudden, heavy impact of her arm winded me, and then I laughed before putting an arm round her and slipping off into a peaceful sleep.

***

For the next few weeks, Bella's life was completely hectic. After sticking to her no sex for a week punishment, which was absolute torture, and almost resulted in a sprained wrist, she was running around the city trying to please everybody at work, while also being joint maid of honour with Alice for Rosalie.

By the time she would get home from whatever she'd been doing that day, she would be absolutely exhausted, and we would sit and watch a movie together on the couch, he snuggled up into me for a short time before falling asleep and letting me carry her to bed.

Although we had tried on numerous occasions to have sex, Rosalie or Alice would always choose that time to think of something else to mention to her, and she would be on the phone for an hour discussing centrepieces and button holes, putting our relationship on the back burner.

It was the day before the wedding and I was standing in the elevator heading up to our apartment. It was still so weird to have something that was ours, after I'd left her in Forks, I'd thought I'd never get her back, let alone be living with her years in the future. Bella would be heading to the hotel later tonight to stay with Rosalie and Alice so that they could all get ready together in the morning, which, for me, just meant one more night without Bella.

I loosened my tie as the doors opened, and I searched in my pocket for my keys. When I heard and then felt them jangling I grabbed them and pulled them out as I was walking along the corridor. I was always home before Bella these days and I was sure that today would be no different, so I was in no rush to enter our empty apartment.

I got to the door and opened it, walking inside and putting my keys in the bowl. I heard a shuffling from the bedroom and frowned, taking a step forward and shutting the front door.

"Bells?"

Nobody answered, and I didn't hear the noise again, so I guessed it was just my imagination. I strolled into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge, taking a small sip, really wanting something a little stronger. I heard another shuffling noise from the bedroom again so I put the water down on the side and walked towards the bedroom door which was slightly ajar.

"Bella? Bella, baby? Is that you? Are you home?" I pushed the door open and let out a huge breath I didn't realise I'd been holding.

"Welcome home," She said, standing next to the bed in fuck hot lingerie. The cream lace bra and panties made her skin look almost translucent, and I took a step towards her, breathing heavily.

"Bella, what are you... I mean... Fuck," I let out another breath and she giggled, walking slowly towards me while I could only stand still.

She stood directly in front of me, her hands tracing the planes of my stomach over my work shirt.

"Good day at the office, dear?" She bit her lip and I almost died right there. She reached up and pushed my suit jacket off from my shoulders, I shrugged it off and let it fall to the ground. I could only nod in response as she loosened my tie further and pulled it over my head, then went to my shirt buttons, undoing them all and then letting the shirt go the same way the jacket had.

"Tell me about your day," Bella said, in her best suburban housewife voice, taking my hand and leading me to the bed, where she indicated for me to sit on the edge. I did as she said and stared at her as she stood in front of me, between my legs, her hands rested on my shoulders as she looked down at me. My hands reached up and held her hips as my eyes lazily scanned her perfect body.

"Um, not much to tell," I swallowed hard, "The issue is coming together nicely. The new intern did a good little feature on that new band of yours, so that will be printed."

She nodded in understanding and took another step forward, ensuring there was absolutely no gap in between our bodies, her stomach was so close to my face that I let my head rest against it as she played with my hair lovingly.

Then, all of a sudden, she hitched one leg up onto the bed and then the other, so that she was straddling me, her knees on the bed either side of me. Our faces were now level as I took in her beautiful face.

"God, I've missed you so much," I sighed, our noses ghosting each other as we teased each other.

"I've been right here," She answered, I gripped her hips tighter and attempted to pull her closer to me.

"Kiss me, Bella," I whispered and then smiled as she leant down to kiss me softly at first, our lips moving slowly against each others before she used her tongue to trace my lips and gasped when I took her tongue in my mouth, then sucking and nipping on her bottom lip.

"I love you," I murmured against her lips, unwilling to stop the kiss.

After a short while, she pulled away, holding onto my shoulders so that she could lean back and look at me.

"What time are you going?"

"I need to leave in an hour," She answered, glancing at her packed overnight bag in the corner of the room. I sighed and she let her head drop to mine, our foreheads resting against each other.

"Don't go," I whispered softly, although even I could hear the almost desperate begging in my voice.

"I have to. You'll see me tomorrow."

"But I want you now," I pouted.

"Hey," She took my face in her hands and smiled, "I never said you couldn't have me now, I just need to go in an hour, so don't take your time!" She laughed and then screamed as I threw her onto the bed beside me and then I pounced on her, hovering over her, my lips on hers immediately, my hands exploring the body I had missed so desperately in the last few weeks.

She sat up a little so that I could unclasp her bra and throw it across the room, admiring her thoroughly as she moved her delicate hands to my pants and undid the button and fly. I shifted my hips so that she could push them down my legs along with my boxers, I heard her gasp as she glanced down at my throbbing erection, and then she hummed in pleasure as she rocked her hips against me lightly.

I held her still for a second, looking deeply into her big, brown eyes. "I'm going to rip them," I said hoarsely, then I felt her squirm beneath me.

"No! Edward, don't!" She squealed as my hands went to her panties.

"What?" I asked, she'd let me do this _many_ times before.

"I like these ones!" She giggled and then I watched her shimmy as she took them off then kicked them away with a flick of her ankle.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I went back to kissing her again, my lips made a light trail down across her jawbone and the column of her neck, then across her collarbone and then finally her beautiful breasts. I massaged one with my hand and teased the nipple of the other with my lips and tongue, which had her squirming beneath me, my name on her lips softly. After I felt I had paid enough attention to both breasts, my kisses continued their travels down her stomach and I grinned when I felt the heat permeating from her wet centre.

"Wait," She whispered so lightly that I wasn't sure at first if I'd heard correctly. I chanced a glance up at her to see her looking down at me.

"We don't have time, and I just... _really_ need you!" She giggled the last bit and tugged on my hair to get me to travel back up her body, which I did, but not without planting chaste little kisses on random parts of her as I went.

I looked in her eyes as I hovered over her, feeling her heat on my throbbing cock. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she answered, her emotion evident in her eyes.

As I entered her slowly her eyes closed and small whimper escaped her lips. I let us both adjust to each other again after such a long time apart, and then began to move in and out of her slowly. Her warmth enveloping me was something I could never get used to. She was so perfect, it was like we were made specifically for each other and nobody else.

"Faster Edward, I need you so badly."

I groaned and then began to move faster and harder inside her, feeling her walls contract around me in her excitement. "You feel so good," I growled into her ear as I continued to pound in and out of her, picking up pace and momentum with each thrust.

She started to whimper with each thrust, and I knew she was close. I looked up at the illuminated alarm clock to check how much longer I had with her and was disappointed to see that I only had 10 minutes left. I moved even faster and harder inside her.

"Come on, baby. I know you're close. Come for me."

Almost immediately she shouted my name, her walls clenching around me rhythmically as her body shuddered with her wave of pleasure. I pounded into her a few more times before coming undone and growling her name, collapsing onto her shoulder while she played with my hair.

***

I was sitting in the church with Emmett, Jasper next to me. I patted my inside pocket sporadically, checking that the rings hadn't fallen through the non-existent hole in my pocket. Every time I found that, indeed, they hadn't moved, I let out a small sigh of relief. I checked my watch quickly, 15 minutes late, why was it acceptable for the bride to be late? If Emmett had been late, Rose would have castrated him.

To be honest, I was just desperate to see Bella again. She'd left soon after she'd caught her breath, she kissed me chastely, leaving me begging for more, and then walked out of the door with a small smirk on her face. I took care of myself after the door was shut.

"Where is she?" I whispered with a frustrated tone to Emmett, who was the picture of calm.

"Dude, its tradition. Shouldn't I be the one getting nervous anyway?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Em, they're here!" Jasper whispered excitedly.

All three of us turned around simultaneously to look at the entrance. Rosalie stood there, flanked by Alice and the most beautiful woman in the world.

The music started and Rosalie began walking down the aisle, her dress accentuated her hour glass figure but I couldn't take my eyes off the beauty that was Bella. She was wearing a deep purple strapless dress, it was fitted at the torso and then bubbled out, finishing just above her knees. I couldn't keep my eyes off her as she looked at me briefly, she blushed and then looked away again quickly. My eyes skimmed down her legs and I saw the death traps that Rosalie had put her in. Although Bella was now accomplished in wearing heels, she decided not to wear them very often, which made me a little nervous, but she walked confidently behind Rosalie, so I could relax.

Emmett met Rosalie at the altar, and Jasper and I stood to his left, I looked across and saw Bella and Alice standing beside Rosalie. Bella was holding both hers and Rosalie's flowers, and I didn't stop staring at her all throughout the service.

***

The reception was a great success, we all sat with Rosalie and Emmett at the top table, the Groom's men on his right and the Bridal party on Rosalie's left, I could see Bella throughout the sit down meal, but as of yet hadn't spoken to her. We would pass each other little glances every now and again, and I would smile as she blushed each time. Emmett noticed our exchanges and nudged me.

"Dude, I'm trying to eat here."

"Nothing's ever stopped you before!" I laughed, he nodded smugly and then carried on eating.

After the meal was over, I started to make my way over to Bella, but as I did, two things happened simultaneously. My parents intercepted me, starting an inane conversation, while I watched Bella get dragged to the dance floor by one of the older guests. I smiled, knowing I had no competition, as Bella graciously accepted the dance.

"Edward, are you even listening to me?" I looked down to see my mother looking at me disapprovingly.

"Sorry, Mom. I got distracted, nice wedding eh?"

"It was beautiful, Emmett and Rose look so happy!" She was positively beaming, I looked at my Dad who was looking at me, an eyebrow raised.

"Right, what's going on?" I shook my head, knowing they were planning something.

"Bella looks beautiful," My mom mused, turning her head towards where she was dancing.

I followed her gaze and my eyes settled on Bella, she looked a little unsure of herself as she was led around the floor by the older gentleman, but she was smiling and looked to be enjoying herself somewhat. I would go and save her in a minute. My Bella.

"Yeah, she does," I breathed.

"How long have you been dating now?" My Dad asked. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know exactly how long we've been dating, Dad."

"Too long," My mother interrupted.

"What's all this about?" I asked, frustrated, all I wanted to do was go and kiss my girlfriend.

"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know how happy we are that Emmett and Rosalie are married, and Alice and Jasper, they've both been such beautiful weddings," I shook my head at my Mother and walked past them, not listening to any more not so subtle hints.

The truth is, I _had_ thought about it. _A lot._ I was thinking about asking her just after Alice and Jasper got engaged, but I didn't have the balls to do it, and then Emmett and Rose got engaged, and there was so much pressure. I was pretty certain that Bella would say yes if I asked her, but there was always the slim chance that she would say no. That maybe she'd suddenly wake up and realise she'd wasted her life with me, she was after all, too good for me.

I made a bee-line for Bella who had ceased dancing with the older gentleman and was currently dancing with Alice and Rosalie. She didn't notice me coming towards her, but Rosalie moved out of my way as I took her spot behind Bella. I ran my hand up her side softly and leaned down to kiss her neck, she giggled and turned her head as I stood straight.

"Hello, you!" She said excitedly, she turned around in my arms, which had encircled her. I looked down at her, her chocolate eyes glistening with excitement and maybe a little inebriation.

"Hey," I answered softly, sliding my hands down her body until they rested on her hips. As she swayed I slowly moved them around to her ass.

"You're parents are here!" Bella scolded and moved out of my hold.

I took her hand and pulled her back to me, she collided with my chest and I held her there tightly, looking down at her as her breath began to quicken and her eyes darkened. I leaned down to her ear and began to ghost my lips over it.

"Apparently there's a tradition that the Best Man gets to hook up with the Bridesmaid..."

I heard Bella giggle in my ear as she fingered the lapels of my jacket, pulling herself up a little closer to my ear.

"I think I also read somewhere that the Best Man's speech is supposed to be funny..." I shut my eyes, ready for whatever she was going to say, I pulled my head back so I could look at her as she spoke, "Shit happens!" She shrugged.

I laughed and pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her temple before pulling away again, taking her hand and pulling her off the dance floor. We sat down at our table, our hands intertwined as we watched couples dance around. Emmett was dancing with a group of little girls who were laughing at his attempt of the robot.

I turned my head and glanced at Bella who was focussed on Emmett, smiling happily.

"So..." I started, pulling her hand towards mine a little. She turned to look at me, a relaxed smile on her beautiful face. "You really thought my speech was rubbish?"

"Hardly!" She exclaimed, "Rosalie's Uncle Albert nearly pissed himself!" I chuckled softly, finding Uncle Albert, his head resting on the table, a few away from us as he slept soundly. I looked at Bella again.

"You want to do this then?"

"Do what?" She asked, confusion in her eyes.

"This whole wedding thing..." I shrugged, "Is it something you'd want?"

Bella frowned trying to pull her hand away from mine, but I held it tightly.

"That better not be a pr-"

"No, Bella," I interrupted, "I didn't ask if you would marry me. I asked if it was something you _wanted_."

She frowned again.

"You know it is."

"How do I know?" I frowned this time, utterly confused.

"I love you. I'm never going to love anyone else. Marrying you would be..." She sighed deeply, looking out onto the dance floor again, not focussing on anyone in particular, "Marrying you would complete me."

I couldn't take my eyes off her. I was absolutely stunned, she didn't turn back to look at me, her gaze utterly focussed on the guests dancing around in front of us. I squeezed her hand and pulled it up to my lips, kissing it softly, before standing up and walking away.

BPOV

It was 3 months since the wedding. _3 months_ and he still hadn't spoken about our conversation. I was so angry when he first started the conversation, shrugging it off completely as "This whole wedding thing..." But since then, nothing. Nada. I was beginning to think he'd forgotten.

He walked off after I told him I wanted to marry him, and that was the end of it. He'd come and found me later, seemingly cool, calm and collected, whereas I was a nervous wreck, thinking I scared him off completely, even after all these years.

We'd gone back to work, and everything was running at a slower pace than it had been while I was helping organise the wedding. I would arrive home before Edward most days and cook dinner for us both, and we were happy. We were always happiest when we were together, when there was nobody to interrupt us or take our attention, we were happy when we just... were.

Tonight however, Saturday night, we were heading over to Alice and Jasper's. They didn't often have us all around, so Rosalie and I were speculating that they had an announcement to make, and as they were already married, we were pretty certain what it would be.

Alice told us that we had to dress up. We weren't going out anywhere, but, as always she wanted an excuse to dress up. I was sitting at the dresser teasing my hair into loose curls while watching Edward out of the corner of my eye. As he was buttoning up his crisp white shirt I raked my eyes over his torso and felt myself breathe out heavily, he looked over at me and smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him and stood up, smoothing down my dress in front of the mirror. I was wearing my new Camilla and Marc Assassin dress, it was tight, short and black, three of Edward's favourite things. It had an asymmetric cut out that went from my collarbone to my shoulder and slight ribbing detail, I rooted through my closet and found my amazing Tory Burch spiked heels and did a little twirl for Edward who was now stood leaning against the doorframe, smiling appreciatively at me.

"Stunning," he whispered and took a step towards me, taking my hand and guiding us out of the apartment.

The drive to Alice and Jasper's house was quiet, but, as always, there was a tension between Edward and I that could only be relieved one way.

"God," Edward breathed as we pulled up outside the house, turning to look at me, "I can't wait to get home tonight!"

I giggled and leaned over the centre console to kiss him quickly, then brushing my thumb across his lips, any trace of my lipstick coming away.

"Come on, you. Let's get inside, I'm excited!"

He rolled his eyes at me but pushed his door open, coming around the car to meet me as I shut the door behind me. He put his arm around my waist and bent down to kiss my hair.

We were met at the door by Rosalie who was smiling broadly at us both. I hugged her before walking into the house.

***

"So... what do you reckon? Are we right?" I whispered as we made our way into the expansive dining room.

"We must be! I mean, how often does this happen?" Rosalie whispered back to me.

Alice and Jasper had been very coy all evening about why we had all been summoned to their house. Emmett and Edward seemed unfazed by everything, while Rosalie and I plotted and schemed ways to get it out of them, but all to no avail.

We all had a lovely dinner, talking about everything apart from why we were here, until it obviously got too much for Rose.

"Ok, for fucks sake guys, can you just tell us all that you got her knocked up so we can all congratulate you and shit?"

Everyone laughed, but all eyes suddenly focussed on Alice who was looking at Edward. I turned, slightly suspicious to the man sitting next to me, he coughed once, and suddenly everyone's eyes were on him.

"Edward?" I whispered with a frown.

"You know don't you Edward!" Rosalie called, seemingly angry that she was left out.

"Sort of," he mumbled before looking at me, a serious look in his eyes.

"Edward?" I asked again, this time he didn't look away.

"I thought I could do this later," He murmured, pushing his chair out and turning his body towards me.

"Do what?" I whispered, worried something was wrong.

"Just... don't say anything for a bit ok, baby?" He frowned, a look of concentration on his face, I nodded, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. At this point, nobody else in the world existed, not even my best friends sitting at the table with us.

Edward took my hands in his, his hold was firm, but gentle as he looked deep into my eyes.

"Bella..." His gaze flickered down to our hands and I took a very deep breath, ready for him to tell me he was seriously ill, or he'd been fired, or... "I love you, _so_ much. You know that, right?" I didn't say anything, and saw him bite his lip, frowning before looking up at me, confused. "Um... right?"

"Oh!" I said quickly, "Yeah, I mean... yes, of course I do."

"I think, well, actually, I _know_ that you're absolutely perfect for me. And when you took me back after everything..." He took a deep breath, "Well, I didn't think my life could get any better."

He let go of my hands and instantaneously, my hands were shaking uncontrollably. He moved from his chair, his hand diving into his pocket as he knelt down on one knee in front of me. I gasped and my eyes widened infinitely.

"But there is _one_ way, that I can make it better. That _you_ can make it better. And I promise, I won't ever ask you for anything ever again." I lifted an eyebrow at him and he grinned, a cheeky glint in his eyes, "Ok, I might. But, you can say no to that..." My eyebrow remained raised and this time he laughed, "Fine, I'm going to ask you for one particular thing, _a lot_, but I want to be able to be turned down... as your husband."

I breathed deeply as he took my hands in one of his, the other popping open a small box, containing the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen in my life. I let go of the breath I had taken and focussed my eyes back on Edward, however my vision of him was blurred as I felt my eyes glistening with tears. I smiled at him, blinking the tears away.

"So, Miss Swan, will you accept a loveless, sexless, mundane life as Mrs Bella Cullen? Or shall I find someone else?" He grinned as I laughed, I heard some chuckles from around me, but quickly ignored them as I sunk to my knees in front of him and kissed him hard, pulling my hands away from his and tugging his hair as our lips brushed against each others. I pulled away, still laughing, as he tried to pull me back to him, his grip on my hips hand and unrelenting.

"Well, if you put it that way, how can I resist?" We both laughed and kissed again, before I pulled back again, pushing him in the chest.

"Are you going to put that ring on me, or are you going to wear it?" With that he pulled away from me and taking the ring from the box, sliding it onto my finger.

Suddenly there were little cheers and clapping from the table. I turned to look at everyone and saw Rosalie with a less than impressed look on her face. Edward stood up, and then gave me his hand, pulling me up to my feet as well.

"Ever the romantic, hey, Edward?" Rosalie smirked.

"Oh, I thought it was funny!" Alice chipped in, jumping out of her seat to come round and kiss me on the cheek, offering her congratulations, shortly followed by Jasper.

"He couldn't really have done it any other way!" Emmett agreed with a chuckle, before pulling me up into his arms and spinning me around in a circle, he put me down and patted Edward on the back.

***

"That wasn't really how I was planning it, I had a whole little speech planned, you ruined it with your dirty mind!" Edward laughed, before pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead.

"Probably best not to tell my parents that I've just agreed to a loveless, sexless marriage then, no?" I joked and Edward shook his head.

We'd headed back to our apartment after a while of talking about weddings, and we were currently just standing in the living room, wrapped in each other.

"Oh, believe me, Bella. It'll be anything _other _than sexless!" He dipped his head to kiss me softly, his tongue tracing my lips just before I pulled away from him.

"What about loveless?" I looked up into his eyes, which were bright with happiness and excitement.

"You'll do I suppose!" He shrugged as I hit him playfully on his chest.

**The End**

**A/N – I hope that you all like what I did with the characters, I never planned for the proposal to go that way, but as I was writing, it all just came out a little wrong, so I decided to go with it!**

**Thank you to everyone for reading, reviewing, and enjoying my story. I hope I ended it in a way everyone is pleased with.**

**My other story, Damage Control, is now up, so go and check it out if you're bored!**

**Thanks for all your support!**

**xxx**


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